He kissed the crown of her head. “Some of them have babies first and then get married.”
“Oh, well.” She snuggled in closer. “That, too. And they…find each other, you know? They find out that they have brothers. And sisters. They have a huge family, after all. When for so long they thought they were the only ones.” She touched his chin and he looked down into her upturned face. “I’m so glad,” she said, “to have them. And to be married to you, to have our daughter….”
“Me, too.” He bent and kissed her soft lips.
In her crib, Jenny stirred. She made a fussy little noise. And then another.
Hayley groaned. “Babies. Just when you’re thinking how wonderful they are, they’re ready to eat again.”
Later, they ordered room service and watched a movie. By nine, they were in bed.
Hayley dropped right off to sleep.
Marcus lay beside her, listening to the even sound of her breathing, knowing he needed to tell her about Adriana. They were married now. He didn’t need to hold off for fear she would stall out the wedding.
He should wake her up, tell her now, get it over with.
But no. Not now. She needed her sleep.
Hayley wanted the truth from him. She deserved the truth and nothing less. He needed to tell her.
And he would.
Very soon.
Chapter Twelve
They landed at Sacramento Executive Airport at eleven the next morning and were back in Hayley’s apartment before noon.
They got Jenny settled into her new room and ate some sandwiches. Then Hayley went back to the main bedroom to unpack and Marcus called Joyce.
He told her he’d been married over the weekend. And that his new wife had given him a daughter.
“Well,” said Joyce, brisk and cheerful as ever. “Congratulations. I’m sure you’ll be very happy.”
“Thank you,” he said. Joyce did have the basic background information. Before he left for the two-week hiatus, he’d told Joyce that there was a special woman—the one he’d had her set up accounts for—that she was pregnant and he was hoping to convince her to be his wife.
They settled on Wednesday morning for the conference calls.
Joyce asked, “You’ll be staying on there for the full two weeks, then?”
He realized he wanted those two weeks now—just Hayley and Jenny and him. Away from all the pressures of his work.
And away from Adriana, should she make good on her threat to return to Seattle.
“Yes,” he said. “We’re just married, with a new baby. A little time away seems like a good idea.”
Joyce read off his messages and he took down the phone numbers—or told her what to say when she called them back.
He waited, a sinking feeling in his gut, for her to tell him that Adriana had been calling again.
But instead, she said, “I’ll speak with you Wednesday, then?”
And he realized the call was over. He said goodbye, turned off the BlackBerry, and just sat there, staring at the Christmas tree, which Hayley had plugged in the minute they walked in the door.
If Adriana had called the office again, Joyce would have told him. She was an excellent assistant. She would have made a note of it and passed it along with the rest of the messages, no matter how uncomfortable it made her to speak of the odd behavior of his ex.
So great. Terrific. He wouldn’t get his hopes up or anything, but it was just possible that Adriana had finally gotten the message. Or that she’d returned to VonKruger.
Whatever. This could be the end of it. She’d never call again.
Hayley came in from the bedroom. She went straight to the tree and adjusted a wooden nutcracker ornament, anchoring it more firmly on the branch. Then she came and sat beside him.
“So? How’s everything at Kaffe Central?”
He faked a look of shock. “You won’t believe what’s happened.”
“What? Is it bad? Tell me…”
He let his mouth hang open a second more, before confessing, “They seem to be getting along just fine without me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable.”
“And yet…true.”
“So. Are you saying that even though we’re married and everything’s settled, I still get you alone here for the rest of our two weeks?”
“Would you like that?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Then, okay. You got it.”
She clapped her hands like a kid. “Christmas, here. Oh, I was hoping. DeDe’s got a dance recital this coming Friday.”
“Can’t miss that.”
“And Kelly’s throwing a Christmas party Saturday. I was supposed to bring the cream-cheese roll-ups.”
“Wouldn’t be a party without them.”
She grabbed him by the shoulders. “I’m so glad.”
“Good.”
“And now I have this burning urge to play a bunch of Burl Ives Christmas songs.”
“Please. Anything but that.” He reeled her in and kissed her.
Then she grabbed his hand. “Come on, lazy. Since we’re staying, we need to get unpacked.”
The next day? Doctor visits. Marcus took Hayley and Jenny to the gynecologist and the pediatrician. He went into the examining room both times and held the baby when Hayley was busy with the doctor.
That night, Hayley’s milk came in. Her breasts were swollen and sore and she cried when Jenny nursed.
Marcus wanted to call the damn doctor and see if there was something that could be done about it—and Hayley laughed through her tears.
“Oh, Marcus. It’s fine, really. It’s exactly the way it’s supposed to be.”
It didn’t seem fine to him. But he let it go. He felt vaguely foolish and altogether powerless. Running a corporation was nothing compared to learning how to be a husband and father.
Wednesday Hayley went to see the caterer and tell her that she wouldn’t be coming back to work there, after all. Gifts started arriving from various Bravos, and Hayley got busy on thank-you letters.
That afternoon, Joyce gave him his messages after he took his conference calls. Nothing from his ex-wife. And nothing Thursday, either. Or Friday.
By then, he was glad he’d never mentioned the thing with Adriana to Hayley. It was starting to look as though there would be no need to upset her, after all.
Friday night was DeDe’s dance recital. They sat in the back of the auditorium, so that Hayley could duck out if Jenny fussed. But the baby slept right through the performance in which DeDe played minor parts in three of the dance numbers. She was a mushroom and a frog and one of Santa’s elves—and what she lacked in talent, she made up for in attitude. She performed each of her tiny roles with a beaming smile and a whole lot of enthusiasm.
“She’s really a terrible dancer, isn’t she?” Hayley said after they got home to her apartment and put Jenny in her crib. They were on the sofa. She’d kicked off her shoes and stretched out, with her head in his lap.
“I’ll say this. That kid’s got a whole lot of heart.”
“Yes, and heart counts. More than anything, I do believe.”
He ran a finger down the side of her neck. “So what’s the deal with her father? He never comes around?”
“He’s long gone. His name was Michael Valutik—or Vakulic? Or something. He was Kelly’s first love. They met in high school. All they had was each other, the way Kelly tells it. When they broke up, she didn’t know she was pregnant.”
“So then, when she found out about DeDe, did she go and tell him then?”
“She tried. She called. The line was disconnected. And then she went to the trailer where he’d lived with his mom. Strangers were living there. The trailer park manager said that his mother had died and that Michael had gone, left no forwarding address. Tanner is still looking for him. No luck, though. I think they believe he must have died or something, for him to have dropped off the face of the earth like that….”
“Maybe Tanner’s not
looking all that hard.”
She sat up. “Marcus. Of course, he’s looking hard. And he’s a P.I. It’s what he does for a living.”
“Well, and that’s my point. He would have a lot of avenues to check. There should have been something, some lead as to where the guy went or what happened to him.”
“Well. There’s not.” By then, she’d retreated to the other end of the couch. “If there were, Tanner would have come up with something.”
“I’m just saying, DeDe’s father has a damn right to know about her.”
“And I’m saying, I agree with you.” She stared straight ahead—in the direction of the tree, though he knew she wasn’t really looking at it. A moment later, she asked, “Is this about Jenny?” Her voice had gentled. She turned to meet his eyes again. “Because even if you’d never come to find me, you would have known. It was a lousy way to tell you, I realize that. But you would have gotten that letter. You would have gotten the news.”
He reached for her hand. She allowed that. After a moment, she even scooted close again.
He said, low, “It’s not about the letter. I’m over that.”
She smiled, the sun coming out from behind gray clouds. “Whew.”
“It’s just…”
“Tell me.”
“First love, that’s all. It’s a bitch. When you’re young and you don’t know anything and love is all that you’ve got…you get desperate. You make all the wrong decisions. You’ll do the most crazy, self-defeating things to try and keep the one you love with you.”
“Is that what happened…with you and Adriana?”
Had he actually brought up this subject? It appeared so. “I guess.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder. But she didn’t say anything more, didn’t press him to dig up all the crap and lay it on her.
And because she didn’t pressure him, he realized he wanted to tell her. He wanted her to understand.
How it had been. The mistakes he’d made—and maybe why he’d made them. He wanted her to have the truth of the past. It seemed important, that he should give her that.
And it came to him that he trusted her enough now to know she wouldn’t misread him. Hayley wouldn’t make assumptions, wouldn’t insist on injecting herself into the middle of it. She wouldn’t insist on making it all about her, the way Adriana would have done.
He squeezed Hayley’s hand and he said, “Adriana was…the blond-haired little girl who lived in the house down the hill and around the corner when I was small, before my mother died. She was the only daughter of my mother’s best friend.
“Much later, once we became lovers and were inseparable, I told her that I’d always loved her, from the first time I saw her. I think I even had myself convinced by then that it was true. But now, looking back, I remember it differently. Adriana always had to be the center of everything. She was her mother’s only girl, her father’s little darling. I remember once, when we were maybe five, she hit me with one of my own toy trucks. Because I told her to leave me alone. It took six stitches to patch me up. When we were little, she hated that I didn’t want anything to do with her. The more I tried to get away from her, the more she insisted on following me everywhere.
“Then my mother died. My world changed. It was me and the nannies, a series of them, and my father, who was drunk most of the time. I hardly saw Adriana after that, for three or four years, at least. Except from a distance. Now and then. We went to different private schools and her parents didn’t want their precious darling mixing it up with the son of the man they suspected of murder. Twice during those years, she came to our house on her own. She knocked on the door and she demanded to see me. Both times the housekeeper called her mother, who came and took her home.
“Then, in eighth grade, her parents moved her to my school, for some reason I’m still unclear about. She fell in step with me in the hallway that first day. ‘Hello, Marcus,’ she said. ‘Here. You can carry my books for me.’ I walked faster, I pretended she wasn’t there. I had this sense that once I gave her what she wanted, she would own me somehow. I…resisted. For weeks, I ignored her, but she wouldn’t allow that. Everywhere I went, it seemed like she was always there, watching. Waiting for me to acknowledge her, to carry her books, to follow her around the way she was following me.
“I avoided her. Until the day I tried to commit suicide with some prescription painkillers I’d stolen from my father’s housekeeper.”
Hayley spoke then. “Oh, Marcus…” She squeezed his hand, but she kept her head on his shoulder and she said nothing more.
He went on. “At the time, it seemed like a good choice, to take those pills, to fall asleep and never wake up again. I thought my dad was going to kill me, anyway. I figured I’d beat him to it. Hey. I was twelve. It seemed to me that dying was the only way to escape my miserable life. I took the pills at school, in the boy’s restroom. Don’t ask me why I decided to off myself there.”
She softly suggested, “Maybe so someone would find you. Help you?”
“Maybe. I must have passed out. And she found me. Adriana. She…saved me. And after that, well, I guess I surrendered to her, somehow. I gave her my love, such as it was. She was everything to me.
“Sometimes she was kind and mostly she wasn’t. She liked the power she had over me. And she got off on…resistance, I guess. Her parents tried for the next ten years to break us up. That only made her love me more. We had what I guess you would call a stormy relationship. Always fighting and making up. It was…what I knew. All I knew, really. I didn’t imagine there could be anything better. I didn’t imagine…this.”
Hayley lifted her head from the cradle of his shoulder. She didn’t speak, only looked at him. A look that was so tender. And accepting. And then she laid her head back down again.
He said, “Adriana told me she was never having kids. She didn’t want them. When she was eighteen, she had her tubes tied. She laughed about that, said it was a good thing, because she’d make a really bad mother, anyway.”
Hayley made a low sound in her throat. “So you decided you didn’t want kids, either….”
“That’s right. And I believed I didn’t. I was so sure about it. Even after she ran off with VonKruger and divorced me, I was firm on that score. No children. Ever.”
She raised her head again to look at him. “And you were also certain you would never marry again.”
“I thought I was…dead inside. That there was nothing left to live for, with Adriana gone. But then you showed up. I couldn’t resist you, which seemed really wrong, not to mention impossible. Adriana was supposed to be the only one. My life was supposed to be empty without her. But there you were, as determined as she’d been, but in a whole different way.”
She looked at him steadily. “Oh, Marcus….”
He lifted her hand and kissed it. “What?”
“You’re a good man. A fine man. I’m proud to be your wife. Jenny’s so lucky to have you for her dad. And as for Adriana, well, she’s gone off with someone else. You’re free of her now.”
It was his chance. The exact right moment. To tell her about the phone calls, to let her know that his ex had been…back in touch. Not because he expected to hear from Adriana again.
But because it was the right thing, the honest thing, to tell his wife.
The seconds ticked by.
“Marcus?”
“Hmm?”
“You look so…sad, suddenly.”
Instead of the truth she deserved, he gave her another lie. “No. I’m not. Not sad in the least…”
“You know I’m going to hate it when you leave for Seattle,” Kelly said.
“I know.” Hayley spread the Christmas cloth across the table. “I’ll miss you, too. A lot.”
“Here we just found you—and you’re leaving again. And taking my niece with you, which I find seriously annoying.”
It was just the two of them in Kelly’s dining room. Jenny was fast asleep in the spare room. They were setti
ng things up for the party that night. Marcus had dropped Hayley and the baby off a half an hour before, and DeDe was at the YMCA pool with some friends.
Hayley smoothed the gold-trimmed green cloth. “I didn’t expect this, I have to admit. I was all set not to get married.”
Kelly put the empty serving dishes down. “But you’re happy….”
“Yeah…”
“Okay. I’m picking up mixed signals here.”
“Something’s bothering him. He won’t say what.”
Kelly took the centerpiece of boughs and berries from the pass-through to the kitchen and placed it in the middle of the tablecloth. “Something…serious?”
“Can’t tell, since he won’t say what it is.”
Kelly took her hand and led her into the kitchen. They sat at the table in there. “I want to give you some really helpful advice. Unfortunately, I’m totally out of my depth here. I’ve never had a husband. I don’t even have a boyfriend. I had sex once, though….”
Hayley laughed. “Well, I kind of figured. I mean, there’s DeDe.”
“No. I mean I had sex with someone other than Michael.”
“Shocking.”
“Yeah, right. I met this guy at a Parents Without Partners discussion group. He was an anesthesiologist. I thought, hey. Michael’s been gone for six years. I need to find someone else. And this guy, he’s getting out, mixing it up a little, not letting his divorce get him down. And he’s got a steady job. What’s not to like? We went out. An actual date. His kids were with his ex that night, so we went to his place. It was just that one time.”
“You…didn’t like him?”
“He was fine. It just wasn’t meant to be, you know?”
“And since then?”
“Can you spell nada? That’s it. The full extent of my expertise with relationships. My high school boyfriend, who broke my heart, gave me DeDe—and disappeared never to be heard from again. And the one-night stand with the guy from the PWP discussion group.”
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