Doc Bella appeared in the doorway of Colin's bedroom. An invisible draft rippled her skirt. It followed her everywhere, but I was the only one who ever noticed it. It was just another of my many hallucinations—a trick played on me by mischievous electrical impulses in my head.
"Ready to go then?" As always, Bella’s presence brought an instant seriousness to the occasion.
"We’re ready." I stepped out of Colin’s embrace. "I filed the paperwork. Contact information for the inn is there, and I documented our route, too."
"Good. Has Richard left yet?"
"He left this morning to go see family. He’ll be back on Tuesday."
"You didn’t forget your toothbrushes, did you?"
Colin and I both said, "No."
"Get on with it then. The sooner you leave, the sooner your trip begins."
Colin asked, teasing, "Anxious to be rid of us?"
"Maybe I need a rest, too." Bella winked at him.
Colin put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Doc. Have a great time in Boston."
"I will, thanks. I’m looking forward to a change of pace."
Bella accompanied us to the car, her hand tucked in the crook of Colin’s arm as we walked.
I asked, "How long will you be gone?"
"Three to six months. It depends on how long it takes to turn the patient around."
I said, "It’s a compliment that they called you in to consult, isn’t it?"
"The man’s challenges fall within my area of expertise."
Colin said, "It’s a job for Doc’s famous chocolate chip cookies," and we all laughed.
When we got to the car, I caught an odd expression on Bella’s face. Despite her encouragement, in that moment, when she didn’t know I was looking, she frowned. I was eavesdropping on secret thoughts. While Colin loaded his suitcase in the trunk, I went to her and said quietly, "Don’t worry. We’ll be fine."
Her face transformed. She smiled at me—a confident smile, a psychiatrist’s smile—and said, "Of course, you will. I’m just jealous. I can’t remember the last time I had a romantic weekend."
"Maybe you’ll meet someone in Boston."
"At my age? Nonsense."
We said our good-byes. Bella stood at the curb while we got into the car, waved as we pulled away, and didn’t leave until after we'd turned the corner and gone out of sight.
♦
We’d been driving down I-74 for about an hour when Colin said, "Pull over for a minute."
I looked at him to see if he was sick. "What’s the matter?"
"Nothing. Just pull over."
"Do you have to tinkle? I swear, you have the smallest bladder of anyone I know."
"I don’t tinkle, woman. I’m a grown man. I take a piss, use the head, or drain the snake. I don’t tinkle."
Once I'd pulled over and turned off the engine, he took my face in his hands. He kissed me with clarity, looking directly into my eyes. His mouth moved love across mine. Tender and sentimental, the kiss stoked my heart rather than my belly.
"No matter what happens," he said, "you will always be mine. Never forget that."
I said, "Never," and for the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful that we could live a normal, happy life together.
Colin’s eyes crinkled at the corners. "So mote it be."
I touched my fingertips to those crinkles. "Who talks like that?"
He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Let's go. I want to get there."
"Hey, you’re the one who wanted to stop."
"So I am."
♦
Back on the road, we came to the lake and began to make our way around it. A long bridge crossed the water at one of its narrowest points. Traversing it was amazing, as if we were driving directly on the water. The lake's surface gleamed in the sunshine. With the windows down, the moist, fishy scent of it filled the car.
I spotted a crane and pointed it out to Colin.
He leaned forward to watch it take off and fly away.
On my left, an encroaching darkness cut back the sunshine. It started as a movement at the corner of my eye.
I swung my gaze toward it, made out a figure, a person, climbing onto the guardrail at the edge of the road.
It was a man, dressed all in black, and he was crouched, a spring ready to be sprung. Before I understood what he was doing, the man leapt onto the road, in front of the car, his arms and legs flailing. I had no time to do anything but react, and I jerked the wheel to one side.
My eyes captured him, his face, and its intense expression, then we hit the guardrail going forty miles an hour.
♦♦♦
CHAPTER 7
The impact with the guard rail caused the airbags to explode in our faces.
Time turned surreal, ticky-tocky.
My mind scrambled to understand.
There are no accidents.
Tick.
Oh God.
Tock.
With a splash and a jolt, the car nose-dived into the water. I flew forward, arm slamming hard into the dashboard. White powder from the air bags made me cough.
I cried, "Colin!"
He was unconscious, blood on his forehead.
"Wake up!" I shook him, and pain shot up my arm.
Frigid water gushed in through the vents. It was happening so fast. I couldn’t keep up.
I thought, We’re going to die. I was staring into the lake’s ominous murk, and my death stared back.
I fumbled with my seatbelt. When it released, it dropped me onto the steering wheel. I reach for Colin’s seatbelt. When I released him, he fell forward, dead weight.
"Fuck!" I reached for him, but I couldn’t orient my body to get leverage.
The surface of the lake came level with the open windows and poured into the car. It hit me in the face. I flailed.
Our descent accelerated.
Cold water swirled around me.
I took one last deep breath as the water level pushed my chin up, and then we were fully submerged. I half-crawled/half-swam out through the window. My lungs burned already.
Though the lake surrounded me, I was free. I saw sunlight shimmering on the surface above, beckoning me, but instead I swam across the roof toward Colin’s window.
His arm floated out through the window. I latched onto it and pulled him toward me, me toward him.
He wasn’t coming out of the car, and the car kept sinking.
I reached in to get a better grip.
My lungs spasmed, clenching with the need for breath.
And then a man floated in front of me, nose to nose with me. I couldn’t make out his features. I absorbed his face as a single whole. He was a Rorschach blot that I would never forget as long as I lived.
He took my shoulders and turned me away from him, leaving me no time to resist. He wrapped a strong arm across my chest and swam me upward.
I had no control, no air left in my lungs. My body did what it had been created to do—I inhaled. But, instead of air, the freezing water entered my lungs.
It was a losing battle. The more my body rejected the water, the more it let in.
As blackness closed in at the edges of my vision, I stopped blinking. The car was there, caught in my sight. I streamed backwards, away from it, dragged by the man swimming me to the surface. My hair flowed around my face, wretched seaweed reaching for the car, for Colin. Then nothing.
♦
The awakening was far worse than the drowning. With the first inhalation of air, my body convulsed, rejecting the water in my lungs.
Someone rolled me onto my side.
I retched, coughed, and inhaled—all in quick succession and repetitively. My lungs cramped. I vomited. Lake water spewed up from deep in my gut. I heard splashing and the rasp of my own breath.
A woman said, "She’s coming around."
"Where’d you learn to do that?" a man asked.
The woman replied, "Lifeguard training."
A chime rang out, and the man said, "Aw shit. That raven bastard is close."
"Okay, we need to move. Get ready. When he comes back up, sleep him."
My eyes were blurry and sore. I couldn’t stop shivering.
The man said, "We should take her with us."
"Can’t," the woman replied. "She's normal."
I couldn't understand. Everything felt dreamlike, and I was sure I was hearing them wrong. The words didn't fit with one another—oil and water. Slippery.
A fit of coughing wracked my body, and I curled into a ball. I was so cold.
Someone put a hand on my shoulder. Heat spread outward from the touch, warming me. I wanted to melt into it.
"Here he comes," the woman said. "Do it."
There was a crackle of static and the smell of burned vanilla. I heard a cry of surprise and then another bigger splash.
"Good. Now her."
A man whispered near my ear, "You’re going to be okay."
I grabbed at him, but he deflected my hands.
An aromatic wave of vanilla filled my lungs, soothing them, and I slipped into unconsciousness.
♦♦♦
CHAPTER 8
I awoke in a bed. Something wasn’t right, but I had no proof. Bright light cut through my closed eyelids, and I pulled the covers over my head to block it out.
"Good morning, sunshine." Simon’s Scottish accent was pronounced.
Simon. I hadn’t heard that voice in years, and my stomach lurched. I clutched at the blanket and shoved it against my ears.
"Come now. That’s no way to greet an old friend."
I said, "Shut the fuck up," but it came out closer to "Shulla fucka." My brain was full of stinging bees.
"Oh, all right," Simon said. "I can see you need a moment to get your bearings."
"I’m hallucinating. I’m hallucinating." I hated Simon for being the only recognizable element in my nightmare.
I took a deep breath. The aroma of Eau de Hospital clung to the bed, unmistakable. I thought I must be at the Center. I must have snuck in to sleep with Colin. I reached out for him, my fingers spreading as they delved through the linens, but he wasn’t there. "Colin?"
"Oh, bloody hell," said Simon.
"Colin?" My throat was raw. I sat up abruptly and threw back the covers.
I slid out of bed, but my legs wouldn’t hold me. I collapsed to the floor, and something landed on top of me.
Simon said, "That a girl! Carpe diem."
A sharp pain lit up my arm. An I.V. needle—still—was causing it. Blood oozed from around the needle. It was angled wrong and pushing up my skin. I focused on that pain. Needles, I knew. I kicked up through the confusion and surfaced.
The floor was covered with linoleum, white squares made to mimic marble, a swishing pattern of gray. The swoon went from my head to my stomach, and I hovered on the verge of vomiting.
Hands touched me, pushed the hair out of my face, and lifted my chin. A pinprick of light shined into my eyes, and I turned my face away.
"Help me get her back into bed," said a man, and then raised his voice to add, "Miss Rose, let’s get you back into bed," as if I were hard of hearing.
They picked me up. Fingers dug into my armpits.
I wiggled to get away, but they held on tighter.
"Watch the I.V."
The bed caught me. The pillow came up under my head, and I sank into it.
"Miss Rose, your grandfather said he’ll be here as soon as he can." The rails on the bed came up one at a time: cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk. It was Frankenstein’s cell closing.
My eyes shut of their own accord.
♦
Much later, I awoke in the same bed. I remembered the accident, and I lay there for a long time—turning it over and over in my mind. Some of the shock had worn off.
I'd been untethered from the I.V.—no more needles, no more pain. Anxiety lurked at the edge of my consciousness, and I wished for a straight pin. I pushed my thumbnail against the tip of my middle finger, as hard as I could, until pain opened into a bloom of energy that I could focus my mind upon. It kept the panic at bay.
Muffled bings, shuffles, and rumbled conversations came from beyond the closed door. I took another breath, and it felt monumental.
Simon said, "You’re feeling better, hm?"
"You’re not real." My throat still hurt.
"The police want to talk to you. Lettie's here too, and your grandfather."
"Where’s Colin?"
Simon said, "I wish I could say."
"Hello?" I shouted at the world. "I need help in here." While I was searching for the call button, my grandfather entered the room. He had dark circles on his dark circles, and his jowls hung heavier than usual.
Lettie came in next. They flanked me, and Lettie asked, "Are you all in one piece?" She never minced words or shied away from difficult subjects. She was 100% protective earth mother.
I said, "I’m fine. Bruises on my chest."
Lettie leaned over me and pulled at my hospital gown to look. "From the seatbelt?"
"Yeah."
She kissed my forehead. "Jesus, girl. Jesus. I was scared to death. All they'd tell me was that your car went into Clinton Lake and someone brought you here."
Abram cleared his throat.
"I know you’re there," Lettie said flatly to him. She was one of the few people in the world Abram Rose couldn’t intimidate. She was practically part of the family.
"I didn’t know anything else," Abram said.
Lettie smoothed the hair back from my face. "Were you driving?"
"Yeah." I studies his face, looking for the answer to my next question before I even dared ask it. It came out as a whisper. "And Colin?"
Abram's expression didn't change. "They’re still searching for him."
I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right, and yet, I knew I had. "Still searching for him?"
Abram took one of those deep breaths that signaled he had bad news. "Now, don’t go crazy on me. All I know is they dove on the car right away." He sounded defensive. "They didn’t find him. They think he might’ve tried to swim out." He picked at a hangnail on his thumb. "They’ve got teams walking around the lake. And divers."
My mind took me back to the lake, to the car, to Colin, and us up to our necks in frigid water. His face, so pale and still.
Worry put pressure on my eyeballs.
"You’re sure he was in the car with you?" Abram asked.
"What?"
Abram shifted on his feet and used his diplomatic cadence. "I’m just trying to figure out how this could’ve happened. You’re not covering for him, are you, kiddo?"
The bed became unstable. I grabbed the handrail and hung on. "Are you asking if I helped him run away?" It was true that Colin had been committed for his own safety, but Doc Bella had seen progress. Despite the roof incident, she’d allowed our weekend trip.
"The idea’s been suggested." Abram licked his lips. "Not by me. By the police."
It made no sense. "It never even occurred to me."
"Okay, settle down," said Abram. "No need to get upset."
I couldn't have disagreed more. I was imagining the searchers giving up because they thought Colin had run off. I pushed the covers off and started to get out of bed.
"Whoa!" said Lettie. "What are you doing?"
"I have to find him." My legs held me this time.
Lettie stepped in front of me. "Honey, that's not your job. The police will find him."
"Please." The pitch of my voice rose. I had no control over it.
Abram cringed visibly.
I softened my tone. "Please."
"I love you. No." Lettie put her hands on my shoulders, warm through the fabric of the hospital gown. "Think for a minute, Viv. What are you going to do? Go out there in the cold and stumble around the lake?"
My mind was racing.
Abram raised his hands. "Okay, okay. Let’s calm down. Viviane, you’re shivering."
I didn’t have the strength to fight her.
Abram broached a new subject. "I heard you had an episode this morning."
"It wasn’t an episode," I told him. "I tried to get out of bed too soon. I was half asleep and disoriented."
Abram and I locked eyes for a moment, him trying to figure out if I was lying, and me daring him to suggest it.
A man in a white lab coat entered, interrupting us. "Excuse me. I need a few minutes with Viviane, if you wouldn’t mind."
Lettie gave me hugs and kisses before leaving.
Abram squeezed my toes and asked gruffly, "Is there anything you need, kiddo?"
"My sewing kit."
♦
After the doctor left, another strange man came into my hospital room. He had too much beard and too many wrinkles in his khaki pants. His hair, brown and thinning, definitely needed a cut.
I started to ask if I could help him, but he cut me off. "My name’s Detective Stace Hayward with the Peoria P.D. I’m here to take your statement about the accident, if you’re feeling up to it."
"I guess."
Detective Hayward had a scuffed leather bag slung across his chest. He lifted it off and sat in the room's armchair.
I asked, "Did you find him?"
"You mean Colin Aubrey?"
"Who else?" And we were off to a bad start.
"Not yet." He balanced his bag on his lap. "Frankly, Miss Rose, it makes me nervous. We walked the entire shoreline, dragged out your car, and sent divers in, but we didn't find him." The detective folded his hands on the flat plane of his stomach. On someone else, the gesture would have made him seem relaxed, but for him, it didn’t work. His foot gave him away, bobbing with nervous energy.
"You searched the woods?"
His tongue pushed out his bottom lip as if he had a wad of chewing tobacco in there. "Yeah. And we talked to all the residents within a five mile radius. We flew a copter over and put his picture on the TV. We haven’t had a single bite. Nobody’s seen him."
"People don’t just disappear."
"That’s the mystery, Miss Rose."
Stalking the Moon Page 5