by Tahnee Fritz
The life I take from him is for the revenge that has been burning through to my core ever since I woke up. It is for the pain he brought to Jason when he locked him in that torture room back at that school. It’s for Ryder and the many times he tried to kill him and thankfully failed. Trevor’s death belongs to those humans he destroyed and the millions of lives he ended without even thinking about it.
Most importantly, this is for the voice in my head. He was the reason for her pain and weakness. He brought her a kind of sadness that no one should have to go through and I hope she is enjoying this moment just as much as I am.
I take in more of this succulent meal. I want to savor this part of my life although it is a short lived moment. His body goes limp in my hands and his fingers no longer dig into my skin. I uncurl my fingers from the collar of his shirt and take the last sip of his blood. I open my eyes and let his lifeless form crash to the ground at my knees and glance to his eyes that will never open again.
It is at this moment that I realize the fighting and gunshots have come to an end. The eyes of the humans around me, stare at me in wonder and fear. Those from Trevor’s army are actually starting to back away. They toss their guns to the ground and slowly head for the trees. Their leader has fallen and can no longer give them orders or even the will to fight for the false hope they once believed in.
The strength I got from drinking Trevor’s blood is starting to fade and the pain from the dagger still sticking out of my stomach is making its way back to the surface. My hands start to shake and my knees are growing weak.
“C’mon monster, don’t fade on me now. I need you to save Ryder.” The voice pierces my ears, but my body cannot respond like she wants me to.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper and drop to my hands.
I try holding myself up for as long as I can but I feel my arms wanting to fall out from under me. I can’t even move my hand pull the knife from my stomach and it is the only thing causing me to lose strength right now. I grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut tight, then fall to my side right next to Trevor.
“Bridget, no!” Ryder’s voice screams through the air and I hear his footsteps rushing to me.
He comes to my side and holds my head in his hands. I open my eyes and stare up at him, gazing into those hazel orbs that have haunted my thoughts. Others from the city army are crowding around us, keeping a wary eye on me and a hand on their guns.
“You can’t die on me. That’s not how this ends.” Ryder pleads and holds my hand in his.
“Then how does it end?” I say, feeling weaker by the second.
He tries to smile and squeezes my hand tighter, “It ends with me and you being together forever. With the world finally safe and no threat of anything to split us apart. You can’t leave me right when things are going to get better.”
“I’m sorry.” My voice is quieter now.
He runs his hand through my hair and I take in a deep breath through my nose. The shirt is still wrapped around his neck and the red blood seeping through the fabric is there to taunt me as I wait for death to take me.
I lift my shaking hand and wrap my fingers around the thin shirt and gently pull it away from his neck. The scratches are deep red and bruises cover the skin around them. The few people standing nearby gasp at the sight of what happened to him. The tall, dark skinned man who seems so familiar to me steps behind Ryder and passes us a look of despair.
“Cure him,” the voice in my head is raspy and fading, “while we still have the strength to do it.”
Just one bite will do the trick. He’s already going through the transformation and the worst that would happen is that he would die. We could be together in the afterlife, whatever that may be. Slowly, I lean my head toward his neck and take in another inhale of his sweet blood. I bring my lips closer to the wound and feel a coldness escaping his skin. I open my mouth and gently sink my teeth into the soft spots on the marks and feel new rush of blood flowing down my throat.
Ryder grunts from the pain and holds me tighter against him. He clutches the leather of my jacket as I continue letting my saliva transfer into him to fight the vampire’s poison. I pray that this works and he will wake up later on as a human.
The longer I keep steeling the blood from his body, the more I feel myself fading. My eyes fall shut and something warm grazes my cheek and slides down my face. This is what sadness and death feels like. I had hoped I’d never get to meet those two demons, yet here I am, standing on the doorstep of a fate that has been awaiting me since I turned this way. At least I will die in the arms of the man I love and bask in those beautiful eyes for all of eternity.
* * *
The air around me is cold and silent. A soft breeze kisses my cheeks and ruffles through my hair, sending an eerie shiver along my spine. I move my hands on the surface beneath me, feeling a glossy floor that ripples under my fingertips. Behind my eyes, I see only the blackness of my mind, yet I am afraid to open them and look at the world I will be stuck calling my new home.
I picture this place as a land of misery and hatred. The blackest parts of the mind I was once trapped inside. I will be imprisoned here with the old me and despise the fact that I allowed us both to die. I will never know the joys of living free in the wild that the earth had to offer or know what it truly meant to find happiness. The cure will never find a place in the world and humanity will still be lost.
This is what it means to fail at everything.
Dying is the ultimate ending to the life I have tried to lead. I believe it was a good one during the few days I was granted with it. I saved a few people along the way and I got to meet the one person who changed my life from the very beginning. Before I became this mess of a monster, Ryder was there for me and I am starting to see the good times we shared together.
I can recall everything about him now. The night kissing in the rain or staying up all night just talking about what we wanted to do in the future. It’s funny how those things come back to me now that I know I’ll never get to have him. He was the only thing that made sense in this otherwise tormenting world and I’ve lost him forever.
I run my hand along the slick floor one more time, feeling the ripples of the surface flowing against my palm. It is so peaceful in this place and the quietness doesn’t bother me so much. It is quite embracing actually.
I squeeze my eyes shut tight and shake my head from side to side. I don’t want to embrace this world that I have been sent to. This is not what I want or where I deserve to be. My life belongs outside of the blank space my death has sent me to.
I quickly open my eyes and stare up at the glass-like ceiling. A dark blue shade has taken over the space with tiny white dots spread out to create an array of stars. They seem to be flowing against the canvas above me, dancing in the sky that doesn’t seem to exist yet it is still there.
“I know this place.” I say quietly.
“Of course you know this place.” The voice whispers in my ear and I feel her presence not far from me.
I hear her footsteps easing across the rippling floor and the stars stop moving for the brief moment as she makes her way to my side. I push myself from the floor and sit up for a second before completely standing. When I turn around, I stare into the eyes of the girl I replaced and finally the voice belongs to a face. Her clothes are the dirty rags which I replaced at the school with Trevor and her hair is a tangled mess. But it is my face that I see staring back and she scowls.
“I was hoping I’d never see you again.” I say to her.
“I told you I wasn’t going away.” She replies.
“Well, we’re both stuck here now so I will have to get used to being around you.” I say, glancing around this peaceful world.
She nods and looks up to the swirling sky, “Yeah, it is very unfortunate. I wish you would have tried harder.”
I raise an eyebrow and glare at her for saying such a thing, “I did better than you could have ever dreamed. Did you not see everything that I have d
one for you? I saved that boy you love so much and I got him safely to the city. You never could have accomplished any of that.”
She nods and passes me a small grin, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I couldn’t have done any of that the way you have, but I have gotten Ryder to the city before and we were safe once we got there. I actually cared about doing it though. You only care about yourself.”
I shrug and tilt my head to the side, “I was not created to care about anything else.”
“And that’s why you’re dead.” She snaps.
She turns away from me and the floor ripples as she walks. She is angry with me, I always knew she was, but this time it’s different. I’ve only heard her voice in my head and now that I see her face, I know that she only holds hatred for me in her heart. But we are one in the same. If she hates me, she hates herself and I do not believe that she truly wants that.
I pick up my feet and begin to follow her. I move quicker than she does and grab onto her shoulder, forcing her to turn around to face me once again. She rips her arm out of my grip and stammers back a pace, then waits for my words.
“We are both dead and you have to accept that. You have to deal with the fact that you failed and in result of that failure, we wound up here together. There is no way out of this and you cannot hate me for anything that you gave me permission to do. Don’t you remember the words you spoke me not long ago? Don’t you remember what you begged me to do?” I argue.
“Of course I do, but if you honestly think that I am going to spend the rest of my time locked in this cage with you, then you are completely out of your mind.” She retorts. “I made a mistake by letting you out and I will never do something as ridiculous as that again.”
“What are you talking about?” I question.
She takes a step closer to me and places a hand on my shoulder. A cold sensation flows from her hand and into the very blood under my skin. A smile crosses her lips, one that I only recognize as my own.
“I learned something while I’ve been here, monster,” she says, then turns away from me, “I’ve learned that in order to accept the things I hate to deal with, I have to remember them and think about them whenever I get the chance. You might think that is no way for a person like us to live, but it is the only way I want to live. And after seeing Ryder alive again, I have to get that back.”
“But we are dead. Can you not see that?”
Again she nods, “I can see that you are dead. I can also see that you are afraid of this place and you’re especially afraid of what I can do to you while you’re here.”
I take a step closer to her, ready to fight my way out, “And just what do you think you can do to me? You are weak and pathetic. The very existence I was trying to get rid of.”
“If I am so weak, how was I able to find my way back into my mind and break you down until you did what I asked? How is it that I am the one in charge here?” she argues with her back to me and her voice is getting louder. “If I am so pathetic, how am I able to lock you in the same cage that I was locked in with Trevor?”
The very instance she turns around, bars fall from the sky, surrounding me in a tight box. Before I can jump over them, a steel roof gets added to the mix and I am completely stuck in this cage without a door to break through. I rush at the bars and wrap my fingers around the cold metal, pulling with all my might, trying to break free.
She approaches the bars and smiles at her handiwork. Her eyes move up and down the length of the bars, scanning them to make sure they are completely secure so I cannot get through. Then her eyes meet with mine and she places both of her hands on top of my fingers and holds on tightly.
She leans closer to the bars and the cold feeling creeps up my arms and into my shoulders and neck. I remember this sensation from the moment I took over her life and became my own person. It appears that she wants to do the same thing and knows how to get it done.
“I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” Her voice speaks, growing stronger with every word. “You took me out of my mind when I needed it the most and you saved me from a life I know I’d hate. I love you for that.”
“Then why are you locking me in here?” I ask, seething with anger.
“You don’t deserve to be free if you don’t plan on giving my cure to the rest of the world. You want to keep it all to yourself and live without the idea of saving humanity. That’s not what I want which is why I came back so soon. The moment you changed your mind was the exact moment I got to see things through your eyes and I was sickened by it.” she states and holds my hands even tighter.
Another bout of coldness rushes from her skin through mine. My knees begin to shake and I can feel my legs wanting to give out. I feel that the only thing holding me in place is this woman keeping me pinned to the bars of the cage.
“You can’t do this. You need me!” I shout.
“I thought I did, but not anymore. I only need myself and the person I love most in the world. With him, I can conquer anything.” She replies, then releases her grip on my hands.
She pulls herself away from the bars and I drop to the floor. It splashes as I crash and tiny droplets of black water caress my skin. It doesn’t drip away or fall back to the floor. Instead it lingers and soaks into the very skin on my hands. The coldness gets stronger and I slam my fist into the floor, sending more of this black water to splash. The blackness is taking over, covering every inch of me that was once the silky white skin I had grown to love.
Quickly, I wipe my hands on my jeans, trying desperately to get the water off my skin. The rubbing only causes it to spread faster until I feel it creeping up my arms and flowing over my chest under my shirt.
“No!” I scream and cover my face with my hands. “Stop doing this!”
“I can’t help you. This is how I’ve always seen you and this is what you truly are. The blackest parts of my mind that never should have seen the light of day.” Her voice rings in my ears and a slight pain emanates with her every word. “I’m sorry it has to be this way, but it is the only way.”
I shake my head from side to side, the blackness is drifting up my neck and quickly covering my face. I scream as loud as I can but the pain coming from this transformation never ends. That girl I took over will never let me be the person I am meant to be.
I slam my fists against the floor again. There is no sense in caring how much of this liquid I get on my skin or my clothes. She will not let me out of here and I am doomed to roam forever in this cage and she is the only one with the key.
My time has come to an end and I have no choice but to accept it.
Part Three
The ground is soft beneath me. It feels like I’m lying on some plush thing that’s both comfortable yet annoying at the same time. My head is resting on an overstuffed pillow that has a hint of a bleachy smell to it. I take a breath through my nose and sniff the air. It stinks of formaldehyde and some type of cleansing product.
My eyes flutter open and I stare up at a white, tiled ceiling above. There are tiny holes poked into the tiles and an unlit light fixture hangs in the middle of the room. I turn my head to the left and find a large wooden door with a silver handle to open it. A sink is against the wall beside the door with a good sized cardboard box on the counter next to it. The paper towel holder nailed to the wall is empty and a single blue towel is folded on top of it.
I move my eyes away from the sink and pass across the room in front of me and the bed I’m on. A flat screen TV hangs from the ceiling above a wall of cabinets and another counter underneath them. There are white sheets and a pile of clothes on the counter and I squint my eyes to see them. The clothes are black and familiar. I don’t exactly remember putting them on myself, but I recognize them from what the monster was wearing. The leather jacket is hanging from a hook on the wall beside the cabinets.
Since those happen to be my clothes folded neatly on the countertop, I glance down to look at my body. A thin, white sheet covers
my stomach and legs, hiding the fact that I am wearing an ugly hospital gown. I roll my eyes and keep checking out the rest of the room.
To my right, there is a window with black-out curtains blocking the glass. The sun peaks through the bottom of the fabric, creative shadowy waves on the floor. I squint from the slight amount of light as it hits my eyes and quickly turn away from the window.
A couch is pressed against the wall next to the window and a figure is sound asleep on top of it. His back is to me and a thick blanket covers his body. I take another whiff of air through my nose and let the familiar scent overtake me.
“Ryder?” My voice is groggy as I speak.
It wasn’t loud, but my voice was still able to wake him from his slumber. He pulls his head away from the small pillow and pushes the blanket away from him. He stretches his arms over his head and sits up, then turns around to face me. A smile crosses his face and he stands from the sofa and walks across the room. He sits on a portion of the bed and stares at me.
“It’s about time you woke up.” He says.
“How long has it been?” I ask.
“A little over a week.” He replies.
“What happened?”
He takes a deep breath and says, “Well, after that whole incident with Trevor, you sort of died for a little while. I was only awake for a few minutes after that, but it was long enough to convince Dwayne to bring us back here. I woke up the next day and he believed every word I had to say about you. The entire city did.”
“Trevor’s dead, right?” I ask.
He nods, “Yeah, you killed him. Don’t you remember that?”
I remember bits and pieces of what happened while the monster had her fun. I saw Trevor and could hear his voice, but there were times when she was able to completely shove me from my mind and not let me see a thing.
“The monster killed him.” I reply.
Ryder smiles again and takes my hand, “She did and then she cured me. I’m glad that I have you back though.”