by Suzy Shearer
Around six forty-five, Lincoln buzzed her to say the groceries were on their way up. She thanked him and opened the front door. Two young men carried them inside for her, taking a good look around. She gave them a tip after it took several trips to get it all inside. She thanked them warmly as she let them out.
Unpacking and putting things away gave her a sense of belonging although it seemed to take forever.
She wanted to make herself a coffee but realised the coffee machine and the kettle wouldn’t be arriving until tomorrow. She ended up boiling water in one of the old pots. She was too tired to bother doing much else, far too tired to make anything to eat so she just ate some fruit.
She’d have to look at getting cooking lessons. She could boil an egg but that was the limit of her cooking ability. When she was younger her parents had a cook, then at school she’d eaten in the school cafeteria. With Dennis, she’d lived on take-away food.
She fell into bed that night, absolutely exhausted. Her leg muscles were aching but it was a good ache.
The weekend went past quickly. Her purchases were all delivered through Saturday morning. She went out in the afternoon, making sure she introduced herself to Stan, then spent a few hours buying more clothes and shoes. She’d noticed that most of the staff wore jeans at Security Tech, so she’d bought a few more pairs of jeans and a pile of T-shirts and blouses.
This time she allowed the saleswoman to suggest sizes and styles. When Jessica walked out of the shop, she had two tailored suits with skirts rather than pants and one pantsuit with a very slim leg. When she’d tried them on, she was stunned to see how much thinner she looked.
The woman laughed at her when she said she was fat.
“Honey, if I had a figure like yours, I’d be showing it to everyone. You have curves in all the right places and enough padding to prove you’re all woman.”
Jessica looked objectively in the mirror and had to concede that maybe the woman was correct. After all, the clothes were three sizes smaller than what she normally wore and they certainly weren’t tight anywhere.
Going into the shoe department, she’d been overwhelmed at what was on display. In the end, Jessica chose a pair of black pumps to wear with her suits, a pair of casual flats, and a pair of running shoes.
As she was leaving, she noticed some lovely sexy nightwear. Dennis had never allowed her to wear clothes to bed so she spoilt herself and bought three sexy long nighties and two short ones.
Sunday, she relaxed, getting herself mentally prepared for Monday. She jumped in the pool in her underwear after realising she didn’t own a swimsuit. Then she’d gotten the giggles after thinking she could swim naked, no one would even be able to see her. When she went to bed that night, she felt she was now ready for whatever the world threw at her.
* * * *
Monday dawned fine and sunny.
She walked to work and was greeted with friendly waves and smiles when she entered. Russ gave her a brief rundown of what he expected her to do and she got stuck into work. The day flew past and by the end of it she was feeling more relaxed and a little confident.
She rang Walter Brownley at lunchtime and gave him her new address.
She gave her banking details to the pay section, actually joined two of the staff members for afternoon coffee in the staff room, and then walked back home, picking up some Chinese food on the way.
By the end of her first week, she was starting to relax even more. The work was easy for her, the same sort of things that she’d be doing in the main branch, and she loved it. She was starting to recognise and put names to faces.
One morning Lincoln told her the pool cleaner would be arriving during the day. He explained that the previous owner had been using the same company for years and did she want to continue or should he stop him from going up? It made sense to continue with the same company so she said for Lincoln to send him up. Lincoln gave her the name of the company when she asked for it. She would ring them today and confirm their costs and when they actually came.
Through her lunch hour, she rang the pool company and discovered that they came every few weeks to maintain it. She also found out her pool was solar-heated and she would be able to swim all year round. Excited by the prospect, and remembering her underwear swim, she bought herself a swimsuit the following lunch hour. Feeling really daring, she bought a two-piece as well as a black one-piece.
When she arrived back at the complex that evening, Lincoln informed her that there was a cleaning company that serviced her penthouse. Did she want to continue using it?
He gave her the telephone number for them and she decided to ring them the following day after learning they had a good reputation and had been servicing the apartments of most of the residents of Lemon Tree Tower for many years. She arranged for them to continue the following day.
It made sense. She was at work all day and didn’t feel like doing housework when she got home. On top of that, she’d forgotten to buy a vacuum cleaner.
The following week, during her lunch hour, she found a place that did laser eye surgery, so she booked a time to see if she was a suitable candidate. When she went for her appointment she was pleased to be told she was the perfect candidate. Even more surprising, the treatment would not take long and most patients healed in two or three days. She booked in for her first eye to be done the following Friday afternoon, then the other a week later.
* * * *
Jessica was surprised at how wonderful she felt.
Already, she’d been living here for six weeks. During that time she’d toned up from walking to work each day. She was still a full-figured woman but now she felt fit and was pleased when she looked in the mirror and saw her body. The only downside was the reminder of when Dennis had ripped the corset from her. Her back had the thick line of scars. They were as well as the many round cigarette burn scars that littered her torso, including a few on her arms. There were also a few other scars from when he’d used a crop or flogger on her until she’d bled.
She was also swimming at least three days a week. At first she could only manage one lap, but now her fitness had increased and she was able to put her body on auto-pilot and swim.
Her eye surgery had been a complete success and she no longer needed glasses. She felt great and she even admitted to herself that she looked great. No one would recognise the dowdy woman in the large clothes and heavy glasses as her. Her hair was now glossy and full of body. She was amazed at what a few weeks’ treatment with good shampoos and conditioners had done.
She’d noticed that people were more friendly toward her, or else it was her own attitude. She was slowly trying to rebuild the confidence she’d lost with Dennis. Her self-esteem was beginning to grow and she was at last happy with who she was becoming.
Walter told her that Dennis had turned up at her old work place a few more times and finally the police told him he would be charged if he went there again. He insisted he was only trying to find Jessica. They reminded him that there was a restraining order against him and he had chosen not to turn up at the hearing. They informed him he would be arrested if he saw her.
It seemed after that he finally accepted that she no longer worked at Security Tech and Walter said he’d not been back there for four weeks. Jess was relieved. It looked like she was finally free of the monster. And with that freedom came more confidence.
Jessica enrolled in evening cooking classes and thoroughly enjoyed them, so much so that she signed up for the advanced classes once she’d finished the first course. By the end of the two courses, she was cooking like a professional and loved it.
But it became an obsession and she bought every cooking gadget imaginable.
* * * *
For the next six years, Jessica enjoyed her work and was able to finally say she felt confident and content. She had made friends with her co-workers and had enjoyed outings with some of them. Things looked great. She’d even surprised herself and gone on dates.
Then Walter Br
ownley turned up.
He and Russ called her into the office.
“We’re sorry, Jessica, but we’re closing this part of the company and moving the rest to the capital.”
For a few seconds Jessica couldn’t speak. She loved her job, loved living here. She’d made friends.
“I.. I really don’t know what to say, Walter.”
Then Walter dropped a bombshell.
“Russ and I have been discussing this. Why don’t you ‘buy’ the branch and start your own computer security company?”
“What?”
“We are going to only be dealing with software and its related problems. It’s too much to spread over the security risk as well. So you wouldn’t be in competition with us.”
Russ was nodding his head. “In fact the clients that you work with now could be part of the deal if they agree. We’re both sure you could get financed to buy it.”
Jessica had never considered opening her own business but now that Walter had suggested it she had to admit, it had great appeal. She had always wanted to delve deeper into the company security side of computers. She wanted to analyse and assess vulnerabilities in the computer infrastructure of business, wanted to investigate what available tools and countermeasures she could use to remedy the detected vulnerabilities, and then to recommend solutions, wanted to develop software to help people.
She’d designed security systems and thought it would be great to install and manage them for other businesses, to test them for compliance with security policies and procedures, see if she could hack into them for their vulnerabilities. All this began swirling around her mind as she considered Walter’s suggestion.
She looked at him and saw he and Russ were grinning madly at her. She realised that she had drifted off into her own little world for a few minutes.
Walter had then mentioned a price—it was reasonable and well within her budget, and in fact, would still leave her with a multimillion bank balance. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea.
Then she began to bargain.
“If I agree I want two staff members of my choosing included in the package if they agree.”
“Are they ones who are working in the area now?”
“Yes, Carl and Jeannie Striger.”
Walter looked over to Russ. Russ grinned at Jessica.
“If they want to stay, I have no objection.”
The deal had gone through and within a month, at thirty-three, she officially had her own company with two staff.
Carl and Jeannie Striger had jumped at the chance.
They were both close friends of hers and both computer geniuses. Neither had a degree but they were both very talented hackers who were now obeying the law. When she had told them of her ideas, they had immediately signed up. Not only were they excited to move into the field but they loved living in the city.
By the end of their first year in business, Hard Bytes was still in the black and Jessica had employed a staff member to act as office manager. That was Bess and Bess was… well, Bess. Wonderful, talented, and a fabulous asset to the company.
Bess had been living in a bus shelter near Jessica’s home and she passed her on her way to work. After a few days, they would say hello to each other. Then Jessica sometimes bought a takeaway meal and gave it to her. When she stopped to really chat with her one day, she discovered that Bess was unique. She knew and was fluent in Japanese, Spanish, and French. She could also manage to make herself understood in Mandarin and Russian.
Jessica asked her why she wasn’t working somewhere as a translator and she learnt that her parents had kicked her out of the house when she was seventeen after she told them she was gay. She’d tried to find work, but with no money, no clothes except what she managed to shove in a bag when she left home, no home, and the fact she hadn’t finished high school, nobody was prepared to take the risk, even though she was a prodigy.
She’d taken to living on the street but had been applying for work all the time without luck. Jessica had asked her about any other skills she had and was pleased to learn that she was computer literate, loved meeting people, and was a fast learner. She also loved to paint. Jessica offered her a job as the office translator.
She had often been forced to use a translator—some of her clients knew English as their second language. Three companies she dealt with regularly had senior management who spoke Japanese with barely understandable English. With Bess on hand, those days were gone.
Jessica had helped Bess find somewhere to live, had put up the bond, and paid the first month’s rent.
She never once regretted her decision.
Jessica was amazed at how quickly Bess took control. She’d decided Jessica didn’t just need a translator, she needed someone to run the office properly and within three months of employing her, Bess had taken the admin side of things over and now the office was running like clockwork.
* * * *
Within five years, Hard Bytes had become the company to go to for computer security. Jessica now employed a staff of eight, and Hard Bytes was sought after for its innovation and for the investigations it offered. Jessica now more often than not acted as liaison between her staff and companies seeking their help, rather than actually writing programs. She revelled in challenges clients offered the company.
No one would recognise the dowdy insecure woman who had first come to Security Tech from university all those years ago. Instead, a confident and very beautiful woman ran the company with poise and grace. Her staff of oddballs loved her and she loved them.
And oddballs they were. Most were hackers, most had poor social skills. They dressed strangely, looked just as weird, but each was an expert, a genius in their own right. They fitted in perfectly, as if they recognised that Jessica was a person who saw beyond the outer covering and recognised the genius within. They were not only employees, they were her friends, especially Carl and Jeannie.
Jessie’s life was blooming. The only downside in her life was her sex life.
She was often asked out, and sometimes she accepted, but she always kept her distance. There was no way she was going to get caught up like she’d been in her twenties. She often accepted a dinner date or two but rarely went out with the same man more than twice.
Her sex life had been almost nonexistent while she was building up the business and once it was running smoothly, she tended to seek out her pleasures with men who were the direct opposite of domineering types.
They were generally pleasant, but dull and boring. Men who thought the missionary position was exciting and considered oral sex to be daring. Men who were so vanilla that it was sickening.
Sometimes, she wondered why she bothered. She rarely got any pleasure from the sex. In fact, sex with a vibrator was more exciting.
Jeannie once asked her why she chose to go out with such uninteresting people and she’d replied that there was no danger with them. Jeannie had looked confused but wisely not asked anything else. She told Jessica she valued their friendship and figured Jessica would tell her if she ever wanted to.
Jeannie and Carl were her best friends, yet they knew she held a lot back. They respected her distance but both had expressed a wish she would trust them a little. She would have loved to but she was so ashamed of her passed life. She’d buried it so deep inside her, foolishly preferring to hide it rather than deal with it. She was sure it was the wrong way to handle it but she was so terrified of facing it.
One night, just after her fortieth birthday, Jessica was curled up on the couch at home. The television was on in the background and she was relaxing with a coffee. Suddenly she heard her father’s name mentioned on the TV and had turned up the volume.
“This is Mr. Gray Stuart, thanks for taking some time out of your busy schedule to answer a few questions.”
“You’re welcome.”
There he was, looking older but still a formidable man.
The woman went on to say something about a charity he had
started twenty-five years ago. She was about to switch channels when the woman interviewer asked him to explain about his late wife, why he had started the charity and to tell her more about it. He explained he’d started it when his wife had died. Jessica watched and listened as her father talked about her mother.
She’d had schizophrenia.
He explained that most of the time she was fine. But then when she was fine, she would stop taking her medications. She’d hide the fact from everyone until she ran off the rails. Her father had to have her admitted to hospital many times to get her back on track again with her medication. The interviewer then asked if it was true he had sent his daughter away just before her mother died.
Jessica was riveted to the screen as her father said “yes.” Her mother had been fine but had once more stopped her medication. She had it in her mind that her daughter was a spy sent to kill her. She vowed she would kill her first. Jessica’s father had sent the young Jessica to boarding school immediately for her own safety. Her mother had been once more admitted to hospital but somehow had escaped the secure ward, intent on finding Jessica and killing her, but instead had walked out into oncoming traffic.
She had been killed instantly.
Jessica was crying as she listened to her father, she could hear the heartbreak in his voice as he talked about his wife.
She realised all these years she had blamed him for her mother’s death when, in fact, he’d had nothing to do with it. He had tried to save her, had tried to save Jessica.
The interviewer was continuing on and had asked him about his daughter.
“Sadly,” he replied, “we have lost contact.” His voice broke as he continued, saying that his greatest regret, apart from his beloved wife dying, was the estrangement of his daughter. He prayed she was safe and happy. He prayed that one day she would contact him.
Jessica burst into sobs.
He was asked where he was working at the moment and was he still living in the same area. The interview switched to talk about the charity and how he had just opened a new facility for the treatment of schizophrenia. It was to offer counselling to family members dealing with the disease and he hoped it would be able to save other lives. The interview finished with a pan of a large modern building. The sign above it merely said “Diana Williams Centre.”