The Forgiving Kind

by Donna Everhart

  Mama pointed at my brothers and me, and said, “Go on. Get yourselves in there and be polite.”

  We filed into the living room behind them where Mr. Fowler acted like a different person, his voice low-key, soft and he barely made eye contact with Aunt Ruth. She mixed him a drink and gave it to him with a little linen napkin. She mixed two more and told me to take one to Mama in the kitchen. I did, and Mama grabbed at it, took a big swallow and then scrunched her face like she’d just sucked on the lemon Aunt Ruth just used.

  She lowered the glass and said, “Whew,” licked her lips and then took another, bigger sip. It must’ve been better the second time since she didn’t make a face. I went back to the living room to find Aunt Ruth studying Mr. Fowler from over the rim of her glass. I kept waiting for witty conversation to begin like she’d have done with Daddy, but she didn’t have much to say. Mama breezed in, pink cheeked, and looking so pretty if Daddy could’ve seen her, he’d have jumped up and danced her around. The living room slowly filled with a blue haze of cigarette smoke, while a beam of sunlight filtered through the parted curtains, and reminded me of when the sun breaks through a hole in the clouds. My headache grew. Mama got to talking up a storm about the drought, about the cotton, about Daddy, about anything she could think of, clearly nervous too. A few minutes passed and the adults sipped on their cold drinks some more. Soon things loosened up and the conversation flowed more naturally.

  Mr. Fowler reached over and jokingly punched Ross on the shoulder in a playful manner, earning him a confused look before he aimed his thumb in my direction and said to Aunt Ruth, “This gal here’s got herself a unique talent. I went and bought her the real deal. Copper rods. What I’ll call no fail rods.”

  He chuckled in a way I’d never heard.

  Aunt Ruth said, “That’s real nice, but, Sonny, what happened to that willow branch of your daddy’s?”

  I said, “It got ruined.”

  Mr. Fowler said, “She’ll have that brand-new one I bought her. Won’t be no different.”

  Like he hadn’t spoken, I said to Aunt Ruth, “I found it in the burn barrel.”

  Aunt Ruth said, “How on earth did it end up there?”

  Mama said, “By mistake, I’m sure.”

  I said nothing.

  Aunt Ruth said, “Well, that’s too bad, sugar. I’m sorry. I know how special it was to you.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I’d tell her all about it later, I was sure. Mr. Fowler changed the subject and I was actually glad.

  He said, “We planted a new type of cotton. Think it would have done real good if we’d had enough rain. We’ll put in some irrigation though. That ought to help us out.”

  There was that we and us thing again.

  Mama shifted in her chair and said, “I sure owe you a debt of gratitude for stepping in to help out.”

  Mr. Fowler said, “Well, it’ll all come out in the wash.”

  That sounded like something Daddy would say to Mama when they were discussing a problem to ease her mind.

  Mama stood, the tone of her voice pitched a little high as she said, “Anybody hungry? I’m sure the biscuits are ready by now.”

  Mr. Fowler put on a fine display of manners as he stood too, and then made a sweeping gesture with his hands and said, “Ladies.”

  Aunt Ruth went first, then Mama, then me, followed by Mr. Fowler, with Ross and Trent bringing up the rear.

  After everyone found a seat, Mr. Fowler said, “Shall we say the blessing?”

  I frowned. He really was putting himself all out there for Aunt Ruth. As we bowed our heads, there was the soft crinkle of paper being unfolded. I didn’t dare try and see what it was, but when he smoothly delivered a decent enough blessing, I was sure he’d been reading something.

  When it was over, everyone said, “Amen.”

  After we raised our heads, he kept his hands underneath the table. Mama began passing the bowls left to right and Mr. Fowler leaned off to the side and surreptitiously slipped the paper back into his pocket. The drinks made him a little more easygoing and he got to telling stories about being in the war, waving his butter knife around, to emphasize certain points. I don’t think any of us knew he’d fought in WWII, or had any idea he’d been to all those foreign places.

  “Yep, I ended up in France, and then in Italy. Fought over there for a while.”

  Trent was awestruck and even Ross looked a little bit impressed.

  Trent said, “What did you do?”

  “Drove a tank. Shot up some people.”

  Mama said, “More crowder peas, Frank?”

  He took the bowl and put some on his plate, and handed it back to her.

  Ross said, “How did you end up in the Army?”

  “Drafted.”

  Trent said, “Mama, why didn’t Daddy get drafted?”

  “He had a deferment due to the farm.”

  Ross looked at Mr. Fowler and said, “But, you had your farm too, didn’t you?”

  “No. Mother had it. Had a bunch a workers running it. She didn’t need me, so I went off and killed me some Nazis.”

  Mama shifted in her chair while Mr. Fowler took a huge bite of chicken, and tore it off the bone, part of the skin hung out of his mouth. He poked it in and kept chewing.

  Trent’s eyes lit up, and he sounded a little too eager. “How many did you get?”

  Mama said, “Eat, Trent.”

  Mr. Fowler spoke around the food in his mouth and said, “We won, didn’t we?”

  Aunt Ruth said, “It’s admirable to serve one’s country,” and then she looked at me. “That’s why a lot of women started factory jobs, and some did the family farming too. There was an advertisement for women to come and do the jobs men used to do. They used an icon for the manufacturing jobs known as Rosie the Riveter.” She looked at Mama. “We could have been Rosie’s.”

  Mama grinned and said, “We sure could have.”

  Mr. Fowler waved his fork in the air.

  He said, “Them women shouldn’t have been allowed to do that sort of work. Housework. That’s their job.”

  Aunt Ruth sat back in her chair so hard, it creaked.

  She said, “Who was going to do it when most of the men were off fighting?”

  Mr. Fowler swallowed and said, “A woman’s place ain’t in some factory. Too hard for’em.”

  “Is that right? Funny, somehow they did it, hard or not. Tell me. What do you mean by hard? Intellectually, or physically, Mr. Fowler?”

  Mr. Fowler appeared to ignore the question, even though he was looking right at her. He ran his tongue around the front of his teeth, and made a sucking noise, like he was loosening a piece of meat that got caught. The whole time, he gazed at her with that same look he had for Daniel, his head cocked off to one side. It was plain to see he’d decided something about Aunt Ruth. He didn’t much like her or her questions.

  Chapter 17

  Mr. Fowler stood under the oak tree, his foot propped on the bumper of his truck, drawing hard on the cigarette, enough so his cheeks sucked inwards, and he had to squint his eyes against the smoke he released.

  Aunt Ruth leaned against the counter and said, “Well, well, well.”

  Mama was quick. “Well, what?”

  Aunt Ruth said, “He’s quite the know-it-all.”

  Mama had no reaction.

  Aunt Ruth went on. “Impatient.”

  Mama said, “He doesn’t seem like that to me.”

  Aunt Ruth said, “He gets his dander up quick.”

  “Oh, he’s fine, Ruth. He’s like most men.”

  “Lloyd wasn’t that way.”

  Mama sounded sad when she said, “No. He wasn’t.”

  Aunt Ruth looked thoughtful. “Why isn’t he married?”

  Mama ran water into the sink, added soap, and put the dishes in.

  She looked toward the screen door, then back to Aunt Ruth, and lowering her voice, she said, “How would I know? Sounds like he was in the war and then he came here
to work the farm after his mother died. Sh! Here he comes.”

  He opened the screen door and Mama motioned for him to have a seat. She immediately began serving pie and coffee, hovering at his shoulder, pouring him a cup when she saw it was almost empty. Like she’d have done for Daddy. Aunt Ruth sat quietly sipping from her cup, watching it all. When it came to eating pie, she barely nibbled at her slice. Her earlier comments and questions made me feel better, knowing I wasn’t the only one who thought the way I did. He was starting to give me a feeling something was happening I couldn’t stop.

  Then Mama asked him what happened to his daddy. “My father? Oh. We ain’t sure what happened. Mother found him in the barn. Shot.”

  Mr. Fowler left at nine o’clock, and when the door shut behind him, it didn’t take long before Mama and Aunt Ruth found themselves in a little war of their own. Aunt Ruth was only trying to open Mama’s eyes a little, wanting her to realize maybe she was a little blinded by how he was, and couldn’t see beyond his perfect manners. How funny it was to think so differently about the same person right before our very eyes. Ross and Trent were sprawled on the floor in the living room in front of the TV and the sound of Indians whooping meant they were watching a Western. They had the volume up, but as time went on, it got pretty loud in the kitchen too. Mama and Aunt Ruth didn’t seem to care I was standing right there, drying dishes and stacking them back into the cabinets, and their interaction became like the gunfire on TV, one shooting words, and the other shooting back.

  Aunt Ruth started in with, “I’m telling you, there’s something to be said for him appearing all of the sudden. He’s got something up his sleeve.”

  “It’s only a business deal, Ruth. We agreed he’d get part of the profits and that’s why he’s sticking around, to see it through.”

  “That’s not all he wants.”

  “Oh, Ruth! Really!”

  “Yes, really!”

  Mama said, “You’re always jumping to conclusions. Why can’t someone simply be helpful?”

  Aunt Ruth said, “I see what I see.”

  “Your eyes need checking.”

  “Rather convenient for him, you here all alone.”

  “I’m not alone. The kids, remember?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “No, not really.”

  “Oh, Olivia. Why didn’t he ever come over here before Lloyd was gone?”

  “I never thought about it, to tell you the truth. I was too busy worrying about where this farm was headed.”

  Aunt Ruth gave her an exasperated look. Daniel’s voice echoed in my head again, hinting at the same thing as Aunt Ruth. I couldn’t imagine this. I hoped it wasn’t true, but I knew how he acted around her, and how she was around him, wearing lipstick and all.

  Aunt Ruth continued, “People have reasons for doing what they do.”

  Mama said, “Maybe.”

  Aunt Ruth made a noise. “I’m telling you, you best be careful.”

  Mama said, “You’ve always been so suspicious. Can’t nobody change your mind once it’s made up.”

  “That’s a good trait.”

  “Not if you’re wrong. You ain’t been here but half a day, and you’ve already judged the situation.”

  “Not true.”

  “True.”

  Mama sighed. “Always got to have the last word.”

  “I’m only trying to get you to see what’s going on here. Lloyd’s gone. This neighbor who’s never bothered to drop in before miraculously shows up. Offers to spend thousands of dollars? What’s he doing here all the time? Sonny said he’s here for every meal, and more. Doesn’t he have his own farm to tend to?”

  Mama looked at me like I was some kind of ratfink. She didn’t answer. Exasperated, Aunt Ruth grabbed Mama’s cigarettes and lit one up. She released the smoke in a manner that reminded me of a bull snorting.

  Mama finally said, “He’s got workers over there I guess.”

  “Don’t you know? It seems you don’t know a lot about him in general. You didn’t know he’d fought in the war, even.”

  “I don’t need to know his history. All I need to know about is this farm, and how to make ends meet.”

  “That’s being naïve.”

  Mama stopped washing the dishes, and faced her sister. “You’re always so self-righteous. You see things your way, and that’s it. You’ve never married either. What’s the big deal about that? All I know is it would have been a lot worse if not for him. Despite that, we’re not going to do well, Ruth. That crop’s not going to bring in near enough money the way it’s looking.”

  “Which is why, if it had been me, I wouldn’t have gotten myself tangled up with him to begin with. Now you’ve got not only your bills to pay, but him too. You’ve dug your hole even deeper and you can’t see it?”

  “What would you have done?”

  “Not this.”

  And then Mama dropped an even bigger bombshell. “Let me tell you something. This is exactly why Lloyd married me instead of you.”

  All movement ceased. Mama put her hand to her mouth. Aunt Ruth dropped her eyes and stared at the floor. I don’t know exactly what I’d expected to come out of this evening, but I sure hadn’t anticipated that. I didn’t know who to look at. Mama bit her lip, looking like she regretted what she’d said, while Aunt Ruth looked hurt.

  Mama said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” and then she said to me, “and, Sonny, you shouldn’t have heard it.”

  Aunt Ruth brushed it off, and acted indifferent, although there was a sheen to her eyes that said otherwise. “What difference does it make? That was all a long time ago.”

  Mama’s voice was filled with regret as she said, “Yes.Yes it was.”

  Aunt Ruth’s voice had gone soft in a tired, beaten down sort of way. “I think I’ll turn in. It’s been a long day.”

  Even though they hugged good night, I could tell that might have been exactly why Aunt Ruth ended up in Rocky Mount. The fact she’d never married herself said a lot too. Had she loved Daddy so much no one else after was good enough? Mama wasn’t the only one who’d lost weight. Aunt Ruth had too, and maybe it was for the same reasons. Mourning his death.

  I said, “I’m gonna go to bed too.”

  I hugged Mama, and followed Aunt Ruth down the hallway. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable knowing this about her.

  I couldn’t look at her when I said, “You use the bathroom first. I’ll wait.”

  She grabbed her cosmetic case and left the bedroom.

  I picked up Dolly and whispered in her ear, “Boy oh boy. What a mess. Wait till I tell Daniel.”

  When she came back in, she had on her nightgown and housecoat. She had smeared cold cream on her face, and had pinned her hair up. Usually she’d joke with me about how she looked, or grab me and try to rub her face on mine, but tonight, she sat on the edge of the bed, looking serious.

  Her words precise, she said, “I would like to read some, if you don’t mind me keeping the light on?”

  I shook my head and said, “No, Aunt Ruth, that’s fine.”

  I went off to brush my teeth and when I came back, she wasn’t reading. She held the book in place but her eyes weren’t on the page. She didn’t say anything though, so I climbed underneath the cool sheets on the cot and closed my eyes. I was tired, but I wanted to tell her I agreed with what she was saying and what she was thinking. I also wanted to tell her about what Mr. Fowler had done, and what I thought he’d done. And, then there was the whole thing with Daniel. I was bursting with what I had to share, and I wanted her to give me permission to talk to her, but she didn’t. I rolled over on my side and thought about her and Daddy. Had it been the two of them first? Or had Aunt Ruth loved him, but he’d chosen Mama over her instead?

  It wasn’t long before she turned off the light and said, “Good night, Sonny.”

  Disappointed, I said, “Good night.”

  The next morning I woke up and realized I was lying crooked, with one l
eg hanging off the cot while a warm hand brushed my hair off my forehead. It was early, the sun not quite up yet. I turned over and looked at Aunt Ruth who sat in a chair by me, staring out the window.

  Her hand came to rest on my arm, and I leaned up on my elbows. “Aunt Ruth?”

  “Hey, sweetie, I hated to wake you, but wanted to let you know I was leaving a bit early.”

  “But, you just got here!”

  “I know.”

  We stared at one another for a few seconds, and I said, “It was what Mama said.”

  She lifted a hand, and let it drop. “That all happened a long time ago.”

  “I know, but . . .”

  I was afraid to ask about it. It wasn’t none of my business ’cause it was an adult subject, as Mama would have said.

  Aunt Ruth looked at me with patience. “But what?”

  “Did you and Daddy date?”

  Aunt Ruth looked away and said, “Well, it was more than that. We were engaged once.”

  I actually squeaked when I said, “You were?”

  “Um-hmm. We were in the same grade. A thing through most of high school, you could say.”

  “What happened?”

  “Oh, I don’t know exactly. Your mama’s right. I am opinionated. We broke up, and he started dating your mama a few months later. She’s always been so easygoing, less of a tyrant than me.” She gave a little laugh. “I guess she just suited him better. And besides, if not for them marrying, well, then I wouldn’t have you, or Ross, or Trent. I am not unhappy at all about that!”

  “But you’ve always been unhappy about what happened with you and Daddy?”

  “Well. I did think he was real special.”

  “Aunt Ruth?”

  She sort of laughed and said, “Sonny?”

  That was our funny little thing.

  “You’re right about him.”

  “Who?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Mr. Fowler, who do you think?”

  She said, “Ah. Want to tell me?”

  Once I got to talking I began listing everything fast as I could.

  “He treats Mama real nice, but he calls Daniel names, like flit, whatever that is. Everybody got into a big scrap the other day when he made fun of me and my dowsing after I couldn’t find water. Daniel stuck up for me, and Mr. Fowler hit him, and then Ross knocked him down, and Mama got real mad at us, but not him! And he’s the one who started it! I also think he’s the one who stuck my willow branch in the burn pile out of pure meanness. I don’t like him at all.”