by Jason Durman
We all laugh at that one. Everything seems funnier when we've just killed something.
Eve looks over the bodies. "I think we're getting better. This lot only took us a few minutes."
Trevor nods. "Well, you're no shy shot. Russ's arm is better, and the Sundance Kid over here-" he jabs his thumb at me - "make a darn good spotter."
My cheeks feel hot. "Thanks," I manage to say.
Russ looks out over the city. "Let's not linger. It might be warmer, but we're still running on short daylight."
I'm about to start walking again when I feel it. I little shake in my feet. A distant sound, soft and loud…
Shit.
"Guys," I say, but they've stopped too. Eve's eyes widen, and Trevor' jaw is tight. Russ squeezes his eyes shut.
"Fuck," he says, quietly. "Fuck."
The hairs stand up on the back of my neck. It's getting loud, and the little rocks on the ground are shaking…
Thug.
I see the others hold up their weapons.
"We can fight it," Eve says, but Trevor is shaking his head. "We're gonna have to run."
"Can we? Those things are like freight trains," she replies. Her voice sounds faint and light, but she's holding her gun so tight her hands are white.
The rumbling gets louder.
Suddenly I see Russ move.
He bolts. He runs towards the rumbling, off to the crumbling city. Trevor tries to grab him, but Russ is too fast.
"GET THE HECK BACK HERE, YOU, YOU-" Trevor screams, but Russ only looks back.
"Run!" He screams. "Run, ya sons of bitches! I'll head the fucker off!"
Trevor tries to run after him, but Eve grabs his arm. " Anciano, no. We have to go. Now."
Trevor looks on, but Eve tugs him away, and they both start running opposite of Russ.
I stay. The rumbling gets louder, but I can hear Russ yelling, too, and gunshots in the distance.
"Dude , c'mon!" I hear Eve yell. I don't.
You can save him.
Like you couldn't save her.
Like you're gonna save her.
"I'm not going," I say. They both stop.
"Kid," Trevor says, but Eve stops him. She's watching me. "You're going after him," she says. "Aren't you?"
I don't say anything. She doesn't say anything, either, she starts taking her shotgun off her back. I shake my head.
"You need it," I say. "And it'll slow me down."
She stops, and she grabs the pistol from her belt. She presses it into my hands, and I can feel her stare in my eyes.
"Promise me," she says. "Promise me you'll come back safe."
I say nothing. Trevor is yelling in the background.
"Promise me you'll get him back safe," she says.
"Ok." I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder.
Trevor shoves a something else in my hand. I look down.
Nuka Finest: Cola Syrup, it says.
"Found it in a pharmacy," Trevor says. "Kid, if you don't catch up to us… find him. Find your girl. But, for the love of the Lord, please stay in one piece."
I swallow. My eyes are burning, and I shove the bottle on my pocket. "I…"
"Go," Eve says. "And come back."
I swallow again. "Thanks."
"For everything."
And then I run.
When they're far behind me, I really run. I don't have time to take off my gloves, I just focus on my legs and I make them go.
I pass by a few sick ones. Some of them try and swipe at me, and others just lie there and don't notice.
The rumbling gets louder. So do the gunshots, RATATATATATA
That's when I see it - and smell it.
It's big. Its beck is to me, but the smell of Death and Rot hit me like a punch. Its skin is spotty, with bits on it that are black and hole-y, like it died.
It roars, and I cover my ears. It's trying to get in an alley that it's too big for, for some reason, and banging against the walls. I hear the brick cracking - and something else.
"Come and get me, you stupid sonuvabitch!"
RATATATATATATATA More gunfire. I cover my ears again, but I know I've found him.
Quick. Runrunrunrunrun to the side where the Thug can't see me, and get up the side of the building, on the roof, look over the side-Russ is down in the alley, all the way in the back against the wall. He's yelling angry words and shooting at the Thug.
"Fucker! If you're gonna take me down, you're going with me!"
The building I'm on shakes again. The Thug is going to break through, and soon.
RATATATATATAclickclicklick
Russ is out of ammo. He curses and throws the gun down.
Promise.
I look across the alley. There's a bunch of metal red stairs on the side of the other building, going up.
They're too high for Russ to reach, but if I….
I don't think. I just jump.
BANG. I hit my shin against the rail as I grab the rails, and I almost curse. Instead I claw up and look down.
The Thug is trying to carve out a hole in the walls, and it's getting bigger.
"Russ!"
He looks up, confused. I hold out my hand to him. He's just close enough….
"What the fuck, kid?" he says, but I shake my head.
"C'mon, it'll smash you if you don't get up!"
He grabs my hand, and I heft him up just as the Thug smashes through the wall. It roars and screams, but it can't reach the rails.
Russ shakes his middle finger at him. I don't know what that will do. He turns back to me.
"You've got a strong grip," he said. " How the hell did you get up here, kid? The main entrance to the place is locked plexiglass, I tried it."
My face burns. "I-"
BAM. A chunk of brick explodes by my head. I look down. The Thug is taking parts of the wall and throwing them at us.
"No time," I say, and I grab Russ and drag him of the stairs. He shoves my hand away and climbs up with me.
There's a window at the top. Russ curses.
"Goddamnit, I shouldn't have left my gun down there-"
I don't say anything. I just punch the glass. It shatters under my hand and falls out.
Russ is saying something, but I don't listen. I just crawl in. He follows.
It's a room. The roof is all fallen in, and it smells of wet and damp and rot. There's a glass door in the other end. It leads out to a platform sticking out of the side - a balcony.
Russ leans against the wall, panting. I can hear his heart beat from across the room.
"Fuck, I need a cig," he says. "Are Eve and Trav safe?"
I nod. "They ran off away from me. I think they made it to the next saferoom."
He nods. "Good."
Then he hits me. It stings.
"Ow," I say. He snorts.
"Thanks for saving my sorry ass back there," he says. "You're a fucking idiot."
I don't know if I should say sorry or you're welcome, so I just rub my head. "Should we start heading back?"
"Yeah. That stupid meathead'll probably be yelling at the wall for hours. By the time it gets out of the alleyway, we'll be long go-"
BAM.
The building shakes, and I hear the Thug roar. We look out the window.
The Thug is hanging on the rails, swinging with one hand. It looks angry.
It uses its other hand to grab on, and it starts pulling itself up.
And it's getting closer.
"Fuck," Russ says. "FUCK."
I run to one of the doors and try to open it. It opens a little, but there's a bunch of crumbled roof keeping it closed.
Russ is trying the other doors. "Fuck, this one's a pantry," he says. "The only other one is a broom closet."
"Can we hide?" I ask. My chest is beating, and I feel my hands itch. The Thug is getting louder and louder.
"It'll tear the room apart when it gets up here," Russ says. "We hide, and we'll have enough time to pray. Maybe."
I look around the room
. There's a ladle in the sink, which won't work - not even my shovel could get a Thug. The pistol in my pocket would make it angrier. There's nowhere else to run.
Wait…
The Thug is nearly at the top. I can hear it roaring and the floor shaking. Dust from the ceiling is raining down.
I run to the balcony door and punch the glass away.
The ground is a long way down. I could make the fall, but Russ…
No. There's another balcony down there. It's close…
"Russ!" I yell. I can see the Thug in the window; now it's starting to punch down the wall. "Russ, get over here!"
He sprint overs. The wall is crumbling. I point to the balcony.
"Listen, when I say jump, you jump," I tell him. He looks back and forth between me and the balcony.
"We'll never make it," he says, but I shake my head. "Listen."
"Just trust me."
BAM.
I gulp. "I'll be fine."
The Thug busts through the wall. It stomps around, angrily, before it sees us. It roars.
I grab Russ's arm. "On my count."
"Now?" he asks. First the first time, I smell it on him: Fear. I've only smelled Anger and Sad, but now? Now he's scared.
The Thug paws the ground. "No."
It bellows. "Now?
"No."
It starts charging. The ground shakes.
"Now?
It's getting closer. Closer. I can see its face. Its tongue is hanging out because half its face is gone.
It's covered in old sores and bullet wounds, and it's leaking black and red blood. I can smell it - I almost gag.
One more second.
"NOW!"
I jump. Russ jumps. My feet are aimed at the balcony.
I don't think. I just fly.
BAM. We hit the ground, and I roll. My feet hit glass and I kick- the balcony door shatters, and I drag myself and Russ through.
I hear the Thug roar above us, and then another BAM. Rock and balcony are falling down.
So is the Thug.
It screams, as it falls over the balcony and down the down the side. I heard a THUNK as it hits the balcony we were just on, and then bounces off to the wall across. Then: CRNCH.
I step out onto the balcony. It shifts a little, but it stays. I look down.
The Thug is laying at the bottom of the building. There's bits of rock and dust on it from the balcony.
It's not moving.
I breathe in. I breath out. Then I go back inside.
Russ is sitting on the floor, groaning. His hands and his face are cut up from the glass, but he looks ok. He sees me.
"Problem solved?"
I nod. He sighs.
"Fuckit, kid. That was one of the most hairbrained schemes I've seen in my entire life, and I was around for the dotcom bust."
I don't say anything. I just give him my hand. He takes it, and hefts himself up.
"Thanks," he says. "For that. And, uh, for saving my ass. Again."
"No problem."
He smells… different. Not angry anymore. Tired, yeah. The Fear smell is fading away. But not mad like he always used to around me."
He sighs, and he smiles a little. "Guess I had you pinned all wrong, huh?"
I look down. "I, uh…"
He slaps my back. "Don't sweat it, kid. Let's get back to the others, huh?"
I grin. "Yeah. Let's roll."
He chuckles, and we start walking.
That's when I hear the sobbing.
Chapter 21
It didn't like talking. Its mouth hurt. Everything hurt, really, but Its mouth especially. The air tasted like blood. Or maybe that was just Its mouth. It felt like there were little daggers in it, digging into Its gums and tongue and cheeks. Digging out. Trying to get free.
It was wearing green things. They itched and burned, and when It scratched at them they got all wet and stuck on even more with sticky red stuff, and the more It scratched the stickier and itchier and redder it got.
It wanted something. Something to bite. Something to hit. Something to eat.
Food would come. It was in red cubes flung through the wall. They didn't move, and It liked the taste but the food didn't move enough to satisfy It. It wanted something that would run. Something that would scream.
Sometimes It screamed, but nothing would happen, and nothing would come.
Other times, They came. They would grab It, pin It down like It wanted to pin Them, put things on It and poke those little sticks in Its arms, fill It with red. Those times were the worst, not because It was being held down, or the sticks or even Them. No, it was the red. The red in the little bags did something. The red made Its arms burn and itch, Its whole body, Its brain itched and burned- the pain burned, and burned something else away, until It became I, and I became Me, and the not-It would think: Where am I? What is happening to me? Why am I here? What have I become? And, then, most wonderful of them all:
Am I going to die?
And then They would stop the red, and Me became I became It, and everything else became something else foggier and, once again, forgotten.
Except one thing; that one thing that was so sweet, so alluring, so longed-for that It held onto it the longest, as much as It could until the thing, the word, faded away like everything else.
Before that happened, though, It would sigh, in some semblance of happiness. Because It had that word, that beautiful word, and It knew that It would end one day, and maybe soon.
And so, joyfully, with this word close to heart, It would curl up on the floor and wait to Die.
Chapter 22
I freeze. Every muscle in my body is tense. There's dust in the air, and it's hard to see and to smell don'tsneezedon'tsneezedon'tsneeze….
But I can hear her. It's behind one of the doors off to the right. It's closed, but I know what's behind it.
Sniff, sob, sniff, sniff, sob…
I look around the room, quickly. One of the other doors is open, it's another closet… the other one one isn't there. It's just a pile of rubble, blocking off the path…
I hear Russ breathe in quick. He jerks his head over to the balcony. I nod.
Careful, step careful...
There's broken glass on the floor, and bits of rubble, which I step around. My heart is like a gun in my chest. Easy…
Crnch.
My heart stops. My breath stops. Russ is pale, and I look down at his feet- there's a broken piece of plaster under one of his shoes.
Grrrrrwwwww….
We don't move. Stay still, stay still…
" Savage, huh?" Trevor takes a swig from the bottle. Even and Russ are asleep, and it's just us and the smell of Betsy. I don't say anything. "Like my ex-wife, Rebecca. Did I ever tell you about her?"
He has, but I listen, even when he tells me about how she keyed his car. I don't know what it means.
" And this thing is," he said, "She always kept her nails long, right? Glued fake ones on top, and always painted them bright red. Sometimes I'd see her with her nails like that, and they'd be like talons. Like claws, all covered in her latest kill. She could probably tear you to ribbons with 'em if she wasn't so worried about messing up the paint. Creepy, man. I'd never trust anyone with nails like that."
I still don't say anything. But my fingers burn.
It feels like forever. My muscles start burning from staying in one place. My head is foggy from trying not to breathe, my nose burns from all the dust…
And my arms itches. I want to scratch it. Shit.
The Savage calms down, and I can hear the growl fade away. Phew.
Russ glances at me. He's covered in sweat but he grins. Just a little. I smile back.
Grnbl.
I hear it. It's from the balcony. Falling rocks.
Grkl.
No, no, stop,
KRK.
My heart stops. I feel it in my legs.
KRAK
Dust is falling from the ceiling, and the floor shaking. The balcon
y above us…
It couldn't have taken a Thug's weight, could it?
BAM.
The balcony outside is hit a big thing. It's the other balcony.
It crashes into it and is trumbles down, down, and it roars in my ears and sends dust up. I want to sneeze and my eyes burn, but that's not the problem. It's the Savage growling behind the door.
She sounds mad. Really mad.
BAM.
She hits the door with full force. I can hear the screaming, but it's not nearly as loud as the screaming in my head. Russ isn't screaming. He's yelling- lots of angry words. I can't hear them.
Exits. Side door? Blocked. Balcony? Too high. Run? Too slow.
?
No.
!
NO.
.
I can't, I tell myself.
You promised.
I did.
Then do it.
I…
No option.
I…
BAM.
Shit.
No time.
BAM.
No time.
I stop thinking.
Russ is still yelling. He's trying to shove his way out the side door, and he was dragging me along while he did it. I shove him away. I tries to grab me again.
"C'mon, you fuckin' dumbass!" he yells, but I slap his hand away.
BAM
I reach into my hoodie pocket and I pull out the gun. Too heavy.
"Hold this."
I put the hood up. Too bright.
BAM. I can hear the splinters starting to crack.
Russ gives me a funny look, like he can't even hear the Savage any more. "What in the ever-loving fu…?"
I breathe in. I breathe out.
I take off my gloves.
Free.
"Hold these."
I turn to the door. I can see it mostly now. The pale thing behind the door. She has her arm through the hole she made and she's pulling it off the hinges. One moment, and she'll be out.
And I'll be here, I think.
I crouch down just as the door shatters.
And I…
Chapter 23
Blood.
Blood in my teeth. Blood on my hands. Blood… everywhere. It's bitter and it's sweet in my nose, and it's everywhere.
I'm just… instinct. That's the word. It's that thing I do when I bite and tear and slash and I don't think, I just do. Instinct.
I feel the Savage grabbing at me. Her eyes are read and her teeth are black, and she screams. It's all muffled, because I'm thinking of only one thing: