She couldn’t pretend everything would go back just the way it had been. They were both so much older now.
“I had a bet with myself that you were married by now,” Lydia said. “But I don’t see a ring. I don’t mean to be nosy.”
“Not being nosy,” Eric said, grinning as he rolled his eyes. “No, yeah, I’m not… Never found the right girl, I guess.”
“Thought for sure,” Lydia said softly. “Thought you’d have the mate and the cub and… just have it all. What about your brothers?”
“Well, Nathan just found his mate,” Eric said. He was only halfway through his filet and he tapped his fork on his plate thoughtfully. “Alanna. That was messy as hell but it worked out alright. She’s pregnant. Just a couple months along now, I think. Connor and Cody, not yet. I think Connor has to beat em’ off with a stick.”
Lydia smiled at that. “I’m guessing you do too.”
It was impossible for her to imagine that women didn’t throw themselves at Eric. He was rich and handsome, kind as well as strong. And best of all, once you got to know him, he could be a riot. He was blind to how intimidating all that could be and how much influence his brothers and his sleuth had exerted over him. But she forgave him. Not that it hadn’t taken a few years to get that far.
“Only when I’m my bear,” Eric said, sticking his tongue between his teeth.
“I can’t believe you still read those books!” Eric was laughing so hard, he looked like he was about to snort whiskey up his nose.
Lydia sat down on Eric’s couch and leaned down to unbuckle her strappy heels. They had gone on a run after dinner and even as bears with their thick winter coats, the cold had been bracing. But Lydia couldn’t remember having felt so good in ages.
“I’ve been living in Sparrow Creek for a while,” Lydia said, taking the highball glass he offered her.
He had invited her up to his room and it was probably stupid, but she’d had no will to refuse. Whether it meant anything was going to happen, she had no idea. She was simply unwilling for the night to end, especially after that run.
Her bear was awake in her head and her heart now, in a way it hadn’t been in far too long. It was riled up and it wanted. She had to work hard to pretend otherwise.
“And ya know,” she went on, “I don’t know a lot of people there. There’s a small bear population, a few sleuths. But it’s not huge and nobody’s very friendly. So when I’m feeling a little down, I go to the library and read a Sherman sisters mystery or look at art books.”
Eric’s mother had read Sherman sisters mysteries. She’d had a whole shelf of them in the parlor of the mansion where Eric had grown up with his brothers, outside the small town of Elkswood in Oregon. They were silly books with simple mysteries that were easy for the reader to solve. The Sherman sisters were very old and stumbled into trouble at every turn. For some reason, as kids Eric and Lydia had found the Sherman sisters mysteries absolutely hilarious.
“Anyway,” Lydia said, sighing. “It’s a comfort thing. They make me feel all homey and cozy.”
She looked down into the amber liquid of her drink and took a small sip. She was pleasantly buzzed and just a little turned on from being in Eric’s presence. But inside, the bear raged. If she let it, it would take over and she would be unable to resist its most primal urges.
Mate.
Her head pounded with it as Eric turned his head and looked into her eyes. He seemed a little sad and she looked away, hoping things weren’t about to turn serious. She felt good and warm and everything was balanced on a tightrope.
Getting serious would just tip them right over.
“Why did you leave?”
Eric’s question thundered in her ears and she sighed, rubbing her eyes. She got to her feet.
“We can’t do this right now,” she said. “Not after drinks and… Not tonight.” She spun around to face him and felt hot tears behind her eyes. “Please, Eric. Just not tonight.”
He was standing too close, the smell of him was hypnotic and she found herself reflexively leaning in closer just as he bent his head and kissed her.
18
Eric
Lydia melted into Eric’s arms and his bear, that had been roaring in his head since she’d sat down with him at dinner hours ago, wanted to bust right out of his chest.
You’re mine, he thought desperately.
It was his child self and his teenage self and his bear and his entire being that howled from every part of him: You’re mine, you’ve always been mine…
She tasted like whiskey and a little like chocolate and like her.
A long time ago when they were kids, just figuring the world out together, they had kissed. Eric had been ten-years-old and even then he’d known: She’s for me.
He considered it a personal failure that he’d never been able to convince her of it.
“No,” Lydia whispered against his lips and shoved him away and he felt his heart shattering in his chest.
He’d read her wrong. Again.
“You found someone,” Eric blurted out. He was breathless from the kiss. He got to his feet and ran his hands through his hair, wanting to shift again just to get all this awful energy out of him, and just to feel something less confusing. “Is that why you came to Black Bear Lake?”
“No,” Lydia said. “I came here because I had dreams about you.”
“Dreams?” Eric spun on his heel to face her, a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve had these nightmares about you,” Lydia said. Her voice shook as she spoke. “They’re always the same. I’m watching you get torn apart right in front of me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I know enough to know that it means something. The fates are trying to tell me something. That you’re in danger. I just don’t know how yet. But I had to come here and do something about it.” She stopped rambling and took a breath, her eyes glassy as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. It’s easy to get wrapped up in things. Pretend it’s...like it was. But it’s not.”
“That’s why you came,” Eric said flatly.
He felt like a complete idiot suddenly. The night had gone so well. He’d started to believe that she’d really come back.
“Eric. That doesn’t mean-”
“That’s the only reason you came,” he said again, clenching his fists at his sides.
“Yes.” She ducked her head. “Okay, yes. I wouldn’t have come otherwise. I couldn’t. But I had to make sure you were okay. The nightmares were so real and even after so many years there’s no one, Eric… There’s no one in the world I care about as much as you.”
“Maybe you should go.”
His head was throbbing, his cheeks burning with shame.
He could have any woman he wanted. He’d been with super models and actresses and debutantes visiting the lodge for the winter or drifting through town. Michelle was practically throwing herself at him and she was both breathtaking and good on paper.
He could have any woman...except this one, it seemed.
“Eric,” Lydia whispered.
“I’m not in danger!” He threw up his hands, smirking. He had an urge to hurt her and maybe that wasn’t fair, but all he could feel was how much she’d hurt him. Again. “So you can go home. Or not. Stay here and ya know… enjoy the lodge. That’s fine too. Whatever.”
“I don’t want you to be mad,” Lydia said. “I know that’s not fair to say.”
“It’s fine.” Eric sniffed and Lydia hung her head as she slowly headed towards the door. “I shouldn’t have expected anything. You don’t owe me a goddamn thing. Really, stay here as long as you want.” He waited until she had the door open and couldn’t see his face because he couldn’t seem to hide his feelings worth a damn where Lydia was concerned. “We both know you’ll just bolt anyway.”
She left the suite without looking back.
“Bro!” Cody nodded at Eric as he slinked into the kitchen for brea
kfast the next morning.
It was a sometimes tradition to eat breakfast in the lodge’s kitchen behind the dining hall. Nothing fancy. Just him and his brothers sitting around the long kitchen island, scarfing down Cody’s omelets or French toast or Eggs Benedict as they complained about guests or told bad jokes or razzed each other.
The vibe was just a little different now, because Nathan’s mate, Alanna, joined them too. Eric found he really liked having her around. She softened things. As much as he loved his brothers to the death and knew them better than anyone else, just as they knew him, sometimes things could be irritating and edgy between the four of them. Male bears could get awfully surly. It was nice having someone’s mate around to shift the mood. And Alanna was sweet. Even if all Nathan ever wanted to talk about was the prospect of his coming cub, Eric could deal with that. It was a long time coming. He was looking forward to being an uncle.
“What’s up?” Cody said, setting a coffee down in front of Eric as he took a seat at the counter. “You look...um...perturbed.”
“Perturbed,” Eric said with a snort. “Yeah, I’m perturbed.”
“What happened? Some asshole couldn’t get their opera tickets?”
“If anyone needed opera tickets, I would be able to get them,” he said, narrowing his eyes.
“Oh.” Cody snapped his fingers and waved his dish towel at Eric before throwing it over his shoulder. “It’s Lydia. She’s back, huh? I guess that’s not going well after all?”
“Yeah, well, I guess some part of me was dumb enough to think she came because, ya know…”
“Because she wanted to be your love muffin,” Cody said, dry as a bone. He grinned at Eric, completely oblivious to Eric’s agitation. Which, in a way, was a relief. Cody had a mop of messy brown hair and a goatee growing in. As usual, he was wearing a white button-down under his apron and he looked weirdly dapper for a chef who always had his hands elbow deep in grease and sauce. “And she doesn’t want to be your love muffin, I take it?”
“I didn’t even realize how much I was hoping for that until, ya know…” Eric sighed. “She made it perfectly clear she wasn’t here for that. Like how many times can this girl break my heart, ya know?”
“So then, like, why is she here?” Cody said.
“She’s having nightmares about me,” Eric snorted, shaking his head in derision. “It was all complete bullshit.”
“What kinda nightmares?” Cody frowned and sat down across from Eric, setting down a plate of eggs and bacon for him and stealing a piece of bacon as he did so. “Like premonition stuff?”
“I don’t know, man. It’s bullshit. She’s dreamed of me being torn apart or something. The same dream a bunch of times. She thought I might be in danger. So she came all the way down here. Comped her a suite and a bunch of shit for her too. Not that… I mean that’s fine, she needs the break. I just…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. The whole thing was giving him a headache and it was taking a lot of strength to keep his bear in check.
His bear was pissed, not even so much at Lydia directly as the whole situation. He was mad at himself too.
It was confusing.
“Where did she come from?” Cody said.
“Washington. I guess that’s where she ran off too way back when.” He nibbled on his bacon and he could practically feel his brother’s disapproving eyes boring into him. “Dude. What?”
“Isn’t she like…” Cody licked his lips. “I ran into her before you met her for dinner. She’s been working some shitty telemarketing job. She was working there because it was all she could find, and you do realize she had to quit her job just to come down here?”
Eric grunted and rubbed his eyes. He had known that and forgotten. It made him feel like kind of a tool suddenly. “Yeah, I know.”
“She came all the way to Colorado from Washington just because she had scary dreams about you,” Cody said, grimacing as he got in Eric’s face. “Because she was worried about you. And it sounds to me like you’re pouting about it because she didn’t go hopping into bed with you. Is that about right?”
“It’s not just about sex,” Eric snapped.
But he couldn’t deny there was a kernel of truth in what his brother said.
“I know.” Cody shrugged. “She’s the one that got away. I get it.”
“It’s not just that. I never knew why she went away. I told her how I felt and she bolted. And she was my best friend. It wasn’t like I was giving her some ultimatum - be with me or our friendship is over. Why leave? I never got it. Whatever.”
“You should talk to her about it.” He smacked Eric’s shoulder. “Instead of whining to me.”
“My bear’s about to lose his mind,” Eric muttered. “It’s whine to you or maul the guests.”
“Okay, well...don’t do that,” Cody said. “Go to her and apologize for whatever it was you said. I’m sure it was stupid.”
“You’re an asshole,” Eric said lightly. “And thanks.”
19
Michelle
I need to go on a run.
There were few coherent thoughts in Michelle’s brain after she left Eric. She was so enraged, she could hardly think. Her mind was a riot. It took a lot of self-control not to simply use the powerful force of her magic to throw Eric right through a wall and tear up the very lodge she wanted to take over, if he wouldn’t just bend like a good boy so she could marry him already.
She fumed and paced. If she could have blown smoke through her nose, she would have. The thought made her huff. It also made her crave a cigarette, a habit she had given up a long time ago. At least that was something to do; a small task to complete as she attempted to process the white hot anger coursing through her.
That son of a bitch. Her head was throbbing. That goddamn son of a bitch!
Michelle all but ran to the shopping promenade full of shops and boutiques where guests could splurge on themselves. The Black Bear Lodge was a lot like a high end Las Vegas hotel and casino that way. All it lacked was a casino.
Michelle found a small touristey shop that also sold some drug store items and cigarettes behind the counter.
“Pack of...whatever,” she snapped. “Something strong. And a lighter.”
The clerk was looking at her funny, as if slightly terrified. Michelle took a deep breath and attempted to school her expression into something like indifference.
But it was difficult.
She had been turned down again. She was not used to it.
Michelle grabbed the cigarettes and the lighter and billed them to her room before stomping out of the store. Her stilettos pinched her toes. She wasn’t dressed to go outside into the cold. She was only wearing a cashmere cardigan to guard against it. She made her way down the promenade to a courtyard with a smoking area that looked out on the higher ski slopes. She leaned against a pillar, glowering as she lit her cigarette until that first delicious drag.
She hated that she had to go to James and tell him that she had failed again. Not that James would be disappointed or that she’d put it that way. James was a complete idiot who counted himself lucky to be with her and was fully content to ride her coattails. He probably thanked his lucky stars every day she decided not to kill him just for fun. But it was still humiliating.
Nobody ever said no to Michelle. She had been getting everything she demanded for the last twenty-eight years and she had planned on continuing that trend, thank you very much.
Michelle smoked and glared and muttered and watched all the jerks skiing, somehow feeling it was their fault that Eric had turned her down. They were guests of the Black Bear Lodge, after all, and he was their dedicated concierge. Maybe if his guests were a little less demanding, he would see reason.
Her phone buzzed and Michelle, hoping it was Eric changing his mind, whipped it out.
It was a text from James. Just a single question mark. He wanted to know how things were going.
Michelle’s head throbbed.
I will kill Eric
either way, she thought. That was a lovely idea. It made her feel a little better as she smoked and watched all the rich dum-dums stumbling their way down the slopes.
If Eric continued to resist, she would kill him anyway. In fact, it might help her snag one of the other brothers if she could get away with it. Perhaps she could pin Eric’s murder on James and then seduce whichever brother was the most distraught about Eric’s death. Men were so weak when they were sad.
She didn’t answer James’ text. Instead, she finished her smoke. She needed to return to the suite and make plans for the next move. She wasn’t about to give up just because the asshole was saying no.
But first, she needed to go on a run.
James was on the couch, watching football and drinking from a mini-bottle of whiskey when she finally returned late that night. She’d gone on a run and stretched her legs and then shot some random magic out just for the release. She’d accidentally killed a few bobcats and felled more than one tree in the process.
“What happened?” He blinked at her as she walked in and took off her cardigan, tossing it over a chair. She was sweaty and she wanted a drink. She grabbed a bottle of vodka from their mini-bar and poured it into a glass.
“He’s not going for it,” Michelle said darkly.
“Huh.” James scratched his head, still staring blankly at the TV screen. He looked like a big dummy but Michelle knew better.
James knew something.
“What is it?” She sat down in the plush club chair next to the couch and took a swallow of her drink. “You have that look on your face.”
“Oh. Well.” He licked his lips and shrugged sheepishly. “Alright, well don’t fly off the handle-”
“Don’t tell me not to fly off the handle,” she growled under her breath and sat back, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Just…tell me what you know. Is it about Eric Strauss?”
Billionaire Bear Shifters: A Paranormal Romance Complete Series Boxset Page 15