“From me?” Nathan snorted. “You’ve never asked my advice.”
“Yeah, but look at you.” Cody shrugged. “You got it all, man. I hate to admit it but... I’m jealous, alright? Of both you and Eric. I think Connor is too. Sometimes I feel like maybe Jessie is the one, ya know?”
“Wow. Your mate?” Nathan gaped at him. “Really? Do you get the feeling in your chest?”
Cody chewed his lip. It was an overwhelming thought and he hadn’t voiced it before.
“What feeling in my chest?” He said softly.
“Just like... this desperate yearning,” Nathan said, looking somewhere far away. “Like if you don’t spend nearly every minute with this person, you can’t go on. Like you’ve already known them for a hundred years and yet there’s so much left to discover. This deep connection goes beyond all that too. That’s the fates. You feel it right here.” He pointed to his own heart. “It feels hot and tight. It hurts and it also feels good. You feel that?”
Yes, Cody thought. No question.
But he only shrugged and said, “I don’t know. Maybe.”
39
Jessie
Jessie told herself that it didn’t mean anything that she stopped in the employee washroom to let down her hair and brush it out and style it, and put on a little makeup before heading down to the kitchen for Cody’s dinner.
She had no intention of pursuing a romance with Cody, she told herself. But she at least pretend to herself. That’s all it was. They were friends and they could flirt.
She applied a second coat of peach lip gloss that set off her warm complexion and smack her lips. There was a fanciful part of her that wondered if it was possible to be with Cody someday... once things were more settled with the kids. But the truth was, she didn’t know how things could ever really be settled. She had effectively stolen six children from their abusive parents and if they were ever found... Jessie didn’t like to think about what would happen.
Bear sleuths didn’t follow human law. They could easily just kill her as payback without ever being caught. Or they might enlist the help of shifter elders; older folk around the region who were trusted to decide what justice meant for such a crime. It was an old fashioned way of dealing with trouble among shifter folk. Jessie had heard of elders intervening when sleuths didn’t know what to do when one of them committed a crime.
Sometimes she forgot that was what she had done. It still might have been right... but the elders might not see it that way.
Jessie sighed and shoved that thought away, skipping down the main staircase and heading toward the kitchen for her definitely-not-a-date-dinner with Cody.
She could, at least, have this for herself.
“Hey, everybody!” Jessie said later that night as she walked in the door back at the cabin.
Jessie was on a high from spending just a half-hour in Cody’s company at dinner and there was something nice about knowing where each of them stood now. They at least both knew they were interested in each other. But there was no awkwardness as Cody had sat next to her, watching her eat his seafood linguini.
He was terribly curious about whatever she wasn’t telling him. She could sense it, even when he didn’t ask her. But they didn’t talk about that. They talked about The Great Gatsby and then Cody told her about he was reading Kafka and she remembered that she’d once read some Kafka too and that had started them talking about books and then their favorite bands, Cody loved R.E.M., Pixies, and a lot of old indie stuff and his brothers all thought he was stuck in the past.
It was almost dangerously easy to fall into the groove of conversation with Cody. She felt comfortable with him and safe in a way she’d never known before.
And more than that, she felt a desperate craving for him that seemed to sit right beneath her ribcage and it was so powerful it made her ache.
But she tried to ignore all that.
“Hey!” Molly smiled at her from her spot on the area rug where she was playing with Sophie and the twins, scribbling construction paper with giant crayons.
Poor little Molly took care of the kids all day until Jessie got home. That wasn’t fair to her, seeing as she was only twelve. But she at least had Chris to help her. The two of them were older than their years by necessity and she was always surprised at their knowing maturity.
“Hey, Molly.” Jessie had picked up the routine of quickly surveying the cabin for any obvious disasters as soon as she came home. All the spilled milk from the day before had been mopped up. The kids had done their best with towels and she’d given the kitchen floor a good cleaning afterward, fearing the eventual odor of spilled milk.
The abandoned cabin she shared with the kids had just two bedrooms and she’d set up cheap cots and cribs in both the living room and one of the bedrooms, but it was still fairly cramped. She tried to keep things as tidy as possible, an endless endeavor, so the place wouldn’t feel claustrophobic for her or the children.
“What’s for dinner!” Chris ran up to her, his blue eyes huge. He was carrying a library book about dinosaurs she’d borrowed for him. She tried to keep them stocked with books and whatever educational toys she could afford as much as possible.
The kids were not in school and she had no time to homeschool them. It was a problem that she hadn’t yet figured out how to solve but Molly was a trooper. She and the other older kids had gone to school sporadically in their old sleuth, whenever the grown-ups actually felt like taking them. So Molly did her best to teach what she knew in between playing.
Molly had way too much responsibility, in Jessie’s opinion. She didn’t know what to do about that either.
“Tamale casserole,” Jessie said, patting Chris’s messy hair. She looked him up and down. His hair was a little tangled but he looked clean and his overalls weren’t stained with anything. That was good. “Who didn’t get a bath yesterday?” Jessie said.
“Kevin and Mary need a bath,” Molly said. “And Jason.”
“No, I don’t!” Jason said, which definitely meant he did.
For the hundredth time, Jessie wished she had some help. Her feet hurt and she wanted nothing more than to crash on the couch and watch TV. But she had dinner to make and baths to administer and then dishes and at least one load of laundry...
“Okay,” Jessie said. She forced a smile and said, “Who wants to help me make tamale casserole?”
The twins were pouring over a pop-up book, Sophie was in a playpen, and Jason was coloring. Molly said, “I will!”
“No, I want you to make yourself a chocolate milk and rest,” Jessie said firmly. “Read one of your books if you want. You do too much, sweetie.”
Jessie watched Molly’s mouth collapse a little, her eyelids looking too heavy. “Okay then.” She sounded far too relieved. It made Jessie feel guilty. Molly went about making herself a glass of chocolate milk, her middle-grade library book about an adventurous mermaid already waiting on the kitchen table.
Jessie nodded at Chris, “Will you help me, please?”
“Can I mix the cornbread stuff?” Chris said.
“Sure.”
“Okay.”
Time flew by with so much to do. But the whole time, Jessie found herself daydreaming about what it would be like to live this life if she were somehow with Cody. Well, for one thing, if she were with Cody for good, they would not be living in an abandoned cabin. Jessie had no earthly clue how rich the Strauss brothers were. She had never wanted for much herself and had only started worrying about money since impulsively adopting six bear shifter children who always seemed to need new clothes and had bottomless pits for stomachs. She had heard the Strauss family was very rich. She had even heard that they didn’t need to be running the ski lodge at all... they just liked their jobs. Maybe it was all rumor. She had never bothered to ask Cody about his wealth, which seemed rude even if she were interested.
But if he was very rich, then she supposed they would all be living in a house somewhere. All the children would have nice cl
othes and go to good schools. Cody could be cranky and loud on occasion but she had seen his sweeter side and heard him gush about his baby niece. He would be a good dad, she decided. And on top of that, the kids would have three uncles...
They would all go on runs together in the woods and the kids could finally go out to the park and the movies and all those places she was hiding them from just in case and Cody would spoil them because they deserved it after what they’d all been through.
It was a complete fantasy. The stuff of silly dreams. But somehow it still made Jessie a little happy to think about as she went about her busy and tiring night until the seven of them were all piled on the couch and on the area rug, watching cartoons on the TV, it took up a lot of energy from the generator and she didn’t allow it during the day.
If Cody were here, he’d rub my feet, Jessie thought dreamily.
“Do you know where my kangaroo book is?” The question came from Jason who looked at her with hazel colored puppy eyes, his mousy brown hair that needed a trim flopping over his forehead.
“I think it’s in the car,” Jessie said gravely.
On the rare occurrence that she had a weekday afternoon off, she sometimes took them for runs in the forest, always staying very close to the cabin and keeping her senses attuned to any new scents that might mean danger. Other times, when the paranoia of their abusive sleuth finding them out was too much, she piled them into her Carolla and took them on drives at night. Chris always insisted on taking a backpack full of his favorite things on drives. He was always worried that something would happen and they wouldn’t be able to go home again.
“Can I have it?” Chris said. He sounded so pitiful and stuck his lip out.
“Okay,” Jessie said, heaving a sigh. He staggered to her feet and left the kids, enchanted by a nature documentary about whales.
Jessie threw open the front door and gasped so dramatically that all the kids’ heads whipped around like alarmed little meerkats.
Cody Strauss stood on the front porch of the cabin. He was covered in mud as if he’d been rolling around in it. He jumped a little when she discovered him, blinking at her, his hands shoved in his pockets.
“Uh... hi,” he said slowly. “So... you have six kids?”
40
Cody
Cody didn’t feel much better after talking to Jessie. The air was cleared and that was nice and all but he couldn’t stop thinking that Jessie had some kind of serious problem she was dealing with and was unwilling to let him in enough to possibly help her. Like his brothers, Cody considered himself a fixer. If someone was in trouble, he was going to jump at the chance to get them out of it... even if he grumbled about it the entire time.
So after work, Cody went for a run.
It had been too long and it felt good to let his bear run free. The winter had seemed so long and biting and the spring had come and gone quickly. But the summer was warm and outside the hustle and bustle of the lodge, the woods had the sleepy feeling of a lazy type of season. But it wasn’t enough to slow Cody down.
He lumbered up into the mountains beyond the lodge, heading deep into the woods to his favorite creek for catching small fish and wading. It was his favorite spot since the Strauss brothers had moved to Black Bear Lake and he’d never taken anyone else. He’d never even mentioned it to his brothers because he liked having his own private spot where no one would bother him.
Because, on his own, Cody liked to be a bit childish as a bear. The mad was thick and wet when he reached the creek and Cody’s tongue wagged as he tossed about in it. His worry over Jessie faded away in the air that smelled like wildflowers, the cool creek water splashing him as he hopped in out of the creek and rolled into a mud puddle. He fooled around for an hour before running further up and impulsively taking a side road into less familiar territory. The woods were wild out beyond the lodge. There were all kinds of places to explore beyond the well-trod hiking trails they kept clear for guests. He’d hardly given himself time to explore.
He almost missed the cabin.
It was dark out by the time he spotted the dim amber lights in windows beyond a cluster of trees. Out of sheer curiosity, he crept closer, wondering who lived this far up the mountain who he didn’t know already.
When he spotted Jessie’s car parked next to the cabin, he stopped short. It took his more primal bear brain a minute to process things. He knew Jessie’s car because they’d chatted in the parking lot before while she was on her way home. He’d noted the bumper sticker on the back of her bright red Camry. The bumper sticker sported a yellow Care Bear and said “Let your fun shine.” He’d thought about that small detail of Jessie’s personality dozens of times since he’d seen it and smiled to himself.
He crept around a tree and squinted into the distance. Yes, there was the yellow Care Bear bumper sticker on the back of the Camry. It upset his bear because it was confusing and his bear hated being confusing. He pawed the ground and growled under his breath.
There were so many bear scents coming from the cabin, it was almost overwhelming only because he had not expected it at all. He made out Jessie’s unique scent right away and the others were oddly sweet and sharp... Cubs. They were all very young bears. The scent of bear cub shifters was sharp so as to catch their parents’ attention over other scents. All of them at once was a lot if you weren’t used to it. He shook his big head and blinked.
Some part of Cody’s human brain though: This is dumb.
He shifted into human form. His jeans and arms were muddy, from rolling around in the woods and he grimaced, dusting off the chunkier bits before he crept closer to the cabin.
He was too curious not to sneak around and see what he could see. He felt a little bit like a stalker as he snuck over to the cabin on quiet feet. The curtain wasn't quite closed in the windows and it was dark out and light inside, giving him the advantage.
Cody crept around the car and climbed up a trellis to the porch, staying quiet. He didn’t want to risk anyone seeing him in the window.
He was overstepping some boundaries by a long shot. He knew that... except that something was wrong with Jessie. If she was in real trouble and afraid to tell him, he couldn’t stand ignoring it. It had also occurred to him more than once that two of his brothers had recently been in similar situations. Strauss boys were just bad at not helping, he supposed.
Cody crouched down and peeked through the window. He saw what his nose had led him to expect.
There were a whole bunch of bear cubs plus Jessie hanging around in a shabby living room that had obviously been spruced up recently with a lot of effort and very little money. Cody counted six kids, most of them crowded together with Jessie on the couch. They were all watching cartoons on an ancient-looking little television and Jessie looked like she was about to fall asleep. One of the children, a little boy with floppy brown hair in his eyes said something to Jessie and she rubbed her eyes and finally nodded before staggering to her feet.
Cody remained on the porch, frozen with indecision. He saw Jessie headed toward the door.
Shit...
He had several endless seconds during which he could have hopped off the porch and possibly escaped her notice.
But he didn’t want to...
Jessie had six children? Or she was taking care of six children at least. He wondered if they were siblings. It simply didn’t seem possible that they could all belong to her. She was so young. She had told him she was twenty-four. It wasn’t impossible, but still...
Cody walked up to the door and grit his teeth and when it opened, he took a deep breath and blinked at Jessie who gaped at him in shock.
“Uh... hi. So... you have six kids?”
“Cody!” Jessie’s mouth dropped open and she stepped out onto the woods plank porch, shutting the door behind her with a glance over her shoulder. She crossed her arms and faced him, her mouth an irritated grimace. “How are you... What are you? Oh, God.” Abruptly, she turned from annoyed to upset and sank her head
in her hands. “Oh God, you’ve found us now everyone’s going to find us. I can’t let them go back there, I can’t... ”
“Whoa whoa!” Cody stepped forward. He didn’t embrace Jessie but he rested his hands on her arms. It was just a gentle touch to let her know he was there. “Hey, please. It’s alright. I didn’t mean to... “ He sighed, rolling his eyes and slid his hands up and down her arms as she sniffled into her palms. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to be here. I didn’t follow you here or anything like that. I was just out for a run and I saw the lights and then I saw your car and I got curious. That’s all. But... Jesus, Jessie are you okay? No wonder you’re exhausted! Single... mom? With all these kids?”
She barked a laugh, dropping her hands. Her eyebrows shot up. “Cody, they’re not my kids! I mean... they are now. I suppose. Yeah. But, I didn’t... I’m not their real mom. I mean I liked to keep busy but no, I have not given birth to six children.”
“Oh.” He flushed, feeling a little stupid, and rubbed the back of his neck. “But you’re taking care of them. Who are they?”
She heaved a sigh and looked him up and down. “Damn. I guess there’s no getting around telling you, is there?” She looked so resigned, as if her jig was truly up. It stung a little that she thought he would ever get her in trouble.
“Jessie,” he said quietly. “Unless you kidnapped all those kids, I’m not going to tell anyone what’s going on if you don’t want me too. Whatever this is, you’re obviously scared and you need help. Just... please let me help. I won’t even tell my brothers. Not even Connor.”
She did not look very comforted.
“Well,” she said slowly. “The thing is that I kidnapped all those kids.”
“Jessie,” he said, narrowing his eyes.
She had a dry sense of humor sometimes. He had noticed that before, but now didn’t seem like a good time for jokes.
Billionaire Bear Shifters: A Paranormal Romance Complete Series Boxset Page 28