by Kenna Grace
Not only did I recognize it for what it was, but from the short glance I took of it, I immediately knew the age of the fetus. Not to the exact day, but well enough that I knew there was no possible way he could have received assisted insemination and have the fetus at its current age while we were together. Unless, he had gone through with the process and not told me about it. I knew Lachlan, though, and that just wasn’t something that struck me as something that he would do.
Lachlan and I had had sex a few times in the approximate time frame for the current development of the fetus. I could feel my face start to flush. I had to know for sure. “Am—” I hesitated for a moment, still trying to process what I had just seen. “Am I the father?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Taking the photograph out of my hand, he looked over it for a few seconds and tucked it back into his pocket. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were wide with an expression on his face like a deer caught in headlights. “Yes.” He paused for another moment before continuing. “I wanted to tell you, but…”
Just as he was in mid-sentence, the elevator suddenly came to a jolt and the emergency lights flashed off before the main power source kicked back in. I looked up above the door and watched as the numbers descended.
Lachlan was still staring at me when I looked back down at him. I stood up from the ground and lowered my hand to help him up. He grabbed onto my hand and stood with a little assistance. By the time he was standing and had regained his composure, the elevator chimed. My heart sank when it did. As the doors slid open, Lachlan stepped out and I followed closely behind him. I expected him to turn back around so we could continue our discussion, but he didn’t. Instead, he kept on walking towards the front doors.
Realizing that if I wanted some answers, I’d have to take control of the situation, I jogged towards him. “Lachlan,” I called out. He didn’t answer. I reached out and placed a hand on the back of his shoulder. When I did, he froze in his spot, took a deep breath, shook my hand off his shoulder, and turned around to face me. “Look, can we talk about this?” I pleaded.
His face was now looked stone cold as he looked me in the eyes. “Donovan, I don’t want anything from you, alright? Just leave me alone and let’s go our separate ways. We won’t have to see each other again. That’s what you wanted, right?”
The words stung. I wanted to deny it, but that was what I wanted. Wasn’t it? I wasn’t so sure anymore now that I had seen him again. Regardless, he was carrying my child in him. Images flashed in my head about how absent my fathers were through nearly my entire childhood. It was a pain I knew all too well and the issues it could create further down the line. It wasn’t something I’d ever wish on anyone. Especially Lachlan and our child.
Before I could even say another word, Lachlan turned back around and started heading towards the doors again. I stood there stunned, watching as he made his way out onto the streets until he turned a corner and I could no longer see him. I wanted to chase after him, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good. Besides, there was no one I could blame for this situation besides myself. I was the one who created the situation. I was the one who left him in the dead of night and refused to answer his messages. Right now, the best thing to do was let him go.
17
Lachlan
Walking away from Donovan in that elevator was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I knew I needed to for my own health. He made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want to be with me, so I was doing exactly that. I didn’t want to give him another chance to lie to me and play with my heart. I had learned that lesson with every past relationship and Donovan already proved to me he was nothing more than another alpha-hole.
As I made my way to my car, I wasn’t sure if Donovan was following me or not. I never turned around to check. Partly because I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to be or not and that was what scared me the most. After all he put me through, I knew I couldn’t let him back into my heart just as easily as I did only a few months ago. Even now, he was on my mind constantly.
When I finally got to my car, I stepped in and shut the door behind me. I squeezed the steering wheel and let out an exhale of hot air. After a few minutes, when I was sure that I had regained my composure, I turned it on, shifted into drive, and made my way home.
As soon as I pulled into the driveway, it felt like a weight was taken off my shoulders. It was nice being somewhere familiar. I got inside the house and made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cupboard above the sink. I filled it up halfway with some cool water from the tap and tossed in a couple ice cubes before taking a sip.
I still felt a little nauseous, but the water helped. Despite feeling better, the nausea didn’t show any sign of leaving completely anytime soon. I drank the rest of the water and filled the cup back up again before heading into my room to call it a night. I put the glass on the nightstand and undressed before slipping under the covers.
Laying there, I couldn’t help but think of Donovan and about what we used to have. As much as it hurt to think about him, he still brought a smile to my face when I thought about our first kiss. Or our date to the fundraiser. No, I couldn’t think about that right now. Instead, I thought about how he hurt me. How he made me think he was different and then left me in the middle of the night. I needed to get over him and remembering the good times wouldn’t help.
I blinked my heavy eyelids and took a few deep breaths, trying to keep the nausea at bay. After a few moments, my eyelids shut and I let them remain that way as my mind drifted into a fog. Slowly, I drifted to sleep. Even then, Donovan occupied my mind.
The next morning, I woke up as the sun shone through my window and onto my face. I shielded my eyes with a pillow until the fog cleared from my mind. Then, I slowly sat up and let my eyes adjust to the light. Letting out a yawn, I stretched my arms and legs and reached towards the nightstand to grab the glass of water I had left out. After taking a sip, I set it back down and put on a pair of pajama pants and an old shirt.
Making my way to the living room, I took a seat on the couch and put on an old episode of The Most Eligible Alpha. I felt a lot better this morning, but I knew it wouldn’t be long until the nausea would be a daily occurrence.
I also felt a lot better about yesterday and everything that happened with Donovan in that elevator. As much as it hurt to see him, at least he knew that I was pregnant and it was his child. It felt wrong with him not knowing, so I was relieved that I got it off my chest. Even if it was by accident. Despite that, I felt anxious thinking about what the future would have in store for the two of us.
I couldn’t deny that I still had feelings for Donovan and by the way he acted when I left the hospital, I was pretty sure he felt something for me as well. As much I wish things would have worked out between us, there was nothing I wanted more right now than to never have to see him again so I could move on with my life. However, now that Donovan knew I was pregnant with his child, it might be more difficult that I’d hoped. We didn’t discuss it on the elevator, but I hoped he didn’t want to be part of our child’s life. It sounded horrible when I admitted it to myself, but the idea of seeing Donovan if we shared custody sounded horrible if we weren’t together.
If we were still together it would have been perfect, but that wasn’t the case as much as I wanted it to be. Still, if Donovan wanted to be involved, there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn’t like I could deny our child the possibility of seeing his father, or Donovan the right to be part of his life.
My expected due date was still some ways off, so at least it would give me some time about what to do and expect. I mean, if Donovan did want to be part of his life, at least I’d have some more time to try and get over him. Hopefully, if he did want to be involved by the time I gave birth, I’d be able to see him through a different lens. Maybe, I’d be over him by then. But, the more I rolled the idea around in my head, the more I doubted I’d be able to stop feeling something for him.
Later that day Donovan sent me a message saying he wanted to talk. Immediately, I deleted the message. I had nothing to say to him right now, and even if I did, I didn't want to say something that I might regret later. Besides, his actions already said everything that I needed to hear. He left and I didn’t want him to come back or open some form of communication just because he felt like he owed me something. Donovan was through with me, and now I was done with him. I couldn’t prevent him from seeing his child if that was what he wanted, but until the baby was born, I wanted nothing to do with Donovan. I just wanted to continue with my life.
The next day, he sent a few more messages. Again, I ignored them. As much as I wanted him to stop trying to get in touch with me, I had to admit that it felt nice knowing that he was trying. It was selfish of me, but I couldn’t help it. Even if the only reason why he was trying was because I told him that I was pregnant with his child.
The messages continued to come the day after. When he realized I wasn’t going to reply, he tried to call. I ignored him, but I’d be lying to myself if I said it was easy. I figured he would eventually get that I didn’t want to speak to him, but until then I had to put up with the flurry of emotions that sprung up every time his name popped up on my phone.
This time he left a voicemail. I debated listening to it, but sided against it. I quickly deleted it from my phone and began to head to work. The office was quiet today, which was expected for a Monday morning, but I wished it was a little livelier. At least if there was some commotion, it would be easier to focus instead of having Donovan on my mind.
By the time lunch arrived, I decided to go grab something to eat from the cafe down the street. I locked up my office and headed towards the front door.
“Want some company for lunch?” a voice called out from behind me as I got to the doors.
I turned around to see Tanya getting up from her cubicle. “Sure, I could use some company.” Normally, I would enjoy the alone time during my lunch break, but I figured what the hell, I could do with some company right now.
We got to the cafe and ordered our meals. Apparently, everyone else decided it was a good day to go out for lunch as well, as the place was packed. We looked around for a few minutes, but when we couldn’t find a place to eat, we decided to just take our food to go.
“So, what’s new?” Tanya asked before taking a bite into her sandwich.
“Well, I’m pregnant.” She nearly choked on the mouthful of food. She was the first person I had told. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt like I needed to tell someone.
She swallowed. “That’s amazing, congratulations,” she said with a smile on her face. “I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”
“I’m not.” I took a sip of my espresso. I wasn’t sure why I was being so honest with her, but it felt good to have a conversation with someone about what was going on in my life. I had been working with her for a while now, but it was always strictly business.
“Oh.” She took another bite of her sandwich. “Artificial insemination?”
I nodded. It was a lie, but it was easier and a whole lot less complicated than telling the truth. Just as we turned into the office parking lot, I saw Donovan’s car parked by the front door. “Oh, shit.”
“Hmm?” Tanya looked at me, confused.
“Listen. Donovan is here.” I motioned over to his car with my chin. “If he asks for me, I need you to tell him that I’m out on a business call and won’t be back in the office for the rest of the day.”
Tanya wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. “Why?”
It was a reasonable question. I probably seemed crazy, but I didn’t have time to explain. “I just need you to, alright?”
“He’s probably just here to see if the bank approved the loan for the couple who put an offer down on his condo.”
“Maybe. But if he asks if I’m in, just tell him I won’t be for the rest of the day,” I said, desperate for her to help me out.
She stopped walking and looked me in the eyes. “Lachlan, what’s going on?”
Seeing there was not going to be an easy way out of this, I had to fill Tanya in on everything. “Donovan and I were seeing each other. I thought things were going well, but then he split in the middle of the night. That’s why I asked you to take over his file.”
“He’s the father, isn’t he?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Look, I’m just not ready to see him right now. Can you help me out and run a little interference?” I was asking a lot, but to my surprise she agreed nearly immediately.
“I can do that. What an asshole. You know, I should have known he was a piece of work the moment I saw him,” she bellowed.
She was saying what I had been thinking, but for some reason it bothered me hearing it coming from her. I wanted to object, but I cut myself off before the words could come out of my mouth. I still had feelings for Donovan, but it wasn’t healthy to hide from the truth. Besides, up to the point where we got stuck in the elevator together, Donovan had given every appearance of being a selfish jerk who loved and left. “Thanks,” I said, resisting the urge to defend Donovan.
As Tanya went inside the front doors, I snuck around to the back of the building and entered from the emergency doors and into my office without being seen.
The next day when I got to the office I was half expecting Donovan to be waiting outside. Fortunately, he wasn’t. The morning went as usual. I had a few meetings with potential clients and a few more with clients whose places were already on the market.
Suddenly, while I was sitting at my desk, my phone rang. Looking at the display, I realized it was the front desk calling. “Lachlan speaking,” I said, clicking the speakerphone button.
“Hi Lachlan. There’s a package that just arrived for you that needs your signature,” the receptionist’s voice informed me.
“Thanks, I’ll be right there.” I hung up the phone. That was strange, I wasn’t expecting anything to be delivered today. I put the contracts I was reading to the side and made my way to the front desk. When I got there, I didn’t see the usual man from alpha-mail doing his deliveries. Instead, I was greeted by a man dressed in casual clothing holding a bouquet of flowers.
“Lachlan?” he asked when I walked up to him.
“Yes,” I replied, confused as to who was standing in front of me.
The man gave me a smile and passed me a clipboard. “Sign here please.”
I signed the form and he passed me the bouquet of flowers. Before I could ask who it was from, he was out the front door and already making his way back to his car parked out front.
“Well aren’t they lovely,” the receptionist said with a smile on her face. “Who are they from?”
“I have no idea,” I replied, genuinely curious. I went back to my office and put the roses on my desk. Just as I sat back at my desk, still flustered as to who sent them, I noticed a small card tucked inside the cellophane wrapper.
Reaching inside, I grabbed the card. It was from Donovan. As soon as I read his name, my heart started to pound against my chest. I didn’t bother reading the rest of his message. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bear it. So instead, I immediately picked the bouquet back up and tossed it into the trash bin under my desk. Despite throwing it out, I still couldn’t help feeling a little flattered. Flattered, but pissed off that Donovan thought he could win me back with a bunch of flowers.
I thought it was a one-shot thing. That the next day he would have gotten the hint when I didn’t message him and he would know that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. That I was through. But the next day around lunch the receptionist paged me back to the front desk, where there was a man standing with an even bigger bouquet of flowers. This time, I refused to sign for them.
“But they’ve already been paid for,” the delivery man informed me, looking a little perplexed that I didn’t want to accept them.
“Look, just tell Donovan to stop sending them.”
The man looked a little confused.
“Donovan?” he replied.
I reached into the bouquet that was still in his hands and grabbed the little card with his name on it. “The one who keeps sending them.”
The man shrugged and walked back out with the flowers. I got back to my desk, feeling a little annoyed that Donovan thought he could solve all our issues with a few roses. Hopefully, this was going to be the end of it. I hoped that the flower shop would call him back and tell him that I refused the delivery and he would stop.
That wasn’t the way it worked out. The next day at the office a brown bag was sitting on my desk when I walked in. Inside was a box of mint biscuits imported from London. Another note was inside. This time, I read it.
“For your flagging appetite. Hopefully they help with the morning sickness. - Donovan.”
As tempted as I was to enjoy them, I knew that would mean letting Donovan win. So instead, I tossed them into the trash. I couldn’t help but chuckle at Donovan’s persistence. This routine persisted for the next few days. It started as flowers, but when I refused the delivery, he moved on to exotic meals. When I stopped accepting those, fancy chocolates started showing up on my desk. When I called the delivery company and cancelled those orders, small gifts started to come. Face masks, bubble bath, spa gift cards. Still, I refused to accept them. Though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted on more than one occasion.
I could ignore most of the gifts, but what really got me was when a gift-wrapped package arrived at my desk. I was tempted to just toss it out with the rest of his gifts from the past few days, but something told me to open it. When I did, my jaw dropped and I could feel my heartstrings being tugged. Inside the box were a few baby toys, soothers, and clothing.