by Kat Catesby
“Don’t worry about it, Dix. Most days I don’t feel like I’m here anyway,” I say a little too morosely, causing Lucy to flash Max a look that reads somewhere between alarm and do-as-I-fucking-say-now.
Twenty seconds later, my phone pings with an incoming message from Max…with Mason’s number and new email.
I thought I’d feel relief or anxiety at having the ability to contact him again, but I’m so angry at this moment that I genuinely feel nothing.
* * *
After dinner, I retreat to my room early, the need to be alone and process my new reality pressing heavily against my chest.
Today I went from independent (albeit unemployed) woman with her own place to crashing at my best friends’ house…I’m only one step above sofa surfing at this point.
Trying to make peace with everything that’s happened to me does the exact opposite and before long I see the red mist of anger clouding my judgment again.
I shouldn’t have to make peace with this new reality. I’ve done nothing wrong, yet I’m the one left to deal with the mammoth horse shit that fell on me all the while being vilified for hearsay and gossip.
I pick up my phone; there’s not a force in the universe that’s going to stop me from unleashing my frustration on Mason.
Will I regret it in the morning?
Maybe. But no worse than the regret I feel for letting the fucker worm his way into my heart.
Me: Hey, it’s Kelsey…in case you didn’t save my number to your new phone.
Passive-aggressive? Sure. But we’ve already established I’m pissed.
Me: Also, in case you’re wondering, Lucy got the better of Max. That’s how I got your number. Not that she should’ve had to do that for me. You shouldn’t have blocked me from your life. That was fucking cruel and uncalled for.
Mason: I know.
I stare at the screen for a few moments. Just blinking at it, willing there to be more than just two stupid words dancing in front of my eyes.
Me: You know! That’s it? That’s all you have to say?
Mason: I’ve been thinking about you.
What the actual fuck?
Me: Oh no you don’t. You don’t get away with it that easily. No amount of you thinking about me can undo the hell I’ve lived through the past few weeks.
Mason: I’ve been missing you too.
Me: Missing you is the easy part!
Me: The hard stuff was having your parents and ex-wife come into my place of work, telling the mayor that I’m an adulterous slut who broke your marriage apart. I got fired. Some stupid morality clause they were able to manipulate.
Me: Then there was your ex posting the salacious gossip on the community group. The entire town knows about our ‘affair’. Half the town hates me, the other half are too afraid to talk to me because they don’t want your family hating them.
Mason: I’m so sorry, Kelsey.
Me: Sorry? I’m not even finished! No one will hire me because of my slutty reputation, I lost my apartment because I have no job to pay for rent and bills and as of today, I’m living with Lucy and am all out of options. I don’t think there’s a single way you haven’t completely ruined my life. It wasn’t enough for you to keep breaking my heart, you had to leave me here to deal with your family and ex-wife and now I’m jobless and homeless with not much hope of that changing soon. Thanks for nothing, Mason.
My blood is boiling and I’m so riled up that I nearly throw my phone at the wall…but as I can’t afford a new one if I break it, I settle for switching it off and crying into my pillow.
I don’t want to see his reply or read the pity and guilt in his words. It shouldn’t take a fucked-up situation like this for him to realize he made the wrong choices. I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him how badly he’s ruined me and nothing he says through a message is going to fix what he broke.
Chapter Six
Mason
I stare at the message conversation on my screen. Kelsey’s hurt and anger are palpable from here – no amount of distance can disguise how badly I’ve messed this up and how spectacularly her life has fallen apart since I left. It also doesn’t escape me how responsible I am for all of it.
I may not control my parents or Helen but I left Kelsey behind to deal with the fallout. I never in a million years thought they would treat her so badly but I’ve been underestimating the spiteful nature of my ex-wife since I married her.
All of Kelsey’s problems stem back to her relationship with me and I feel like a wretched fucker for destroying her. I was so selfishly consumed with wanting a fresh start, with wanting to escape the chains of my family and ex that I threw the one person I truly, deeply love under a bus. I left her, twice, shot her down when she offered to come with me and ignored her in the aftermath of all hell breaking loose.
What did I think was going to happen when I left? That my parents and Helen would take my absence in their strides? Of course not. Of course, they were going to go stomping around town looking for someone to blame for their AWOL son and ex-husband. Helen has the influence and motivation to make Kelsey’s life a living hell and I left her to deal with it alone.
And now, rightly so, she’s ignoring me.
She unleashed both barrels on me and called me out for my bullshit and is now letting me stew in my worry and anxiety.
Me: Kelsey, please pick up the phone so we can talk.
I can see that my last message hasn’t been read.
As soon as I read her last message, I dialed her number. It went straight to voicemail.
It keeps going to voicemail.
She’s switched her phone off and is ignoring me, the way I’ve been ignoring her.
Karma is a big fat bitch.
I realize I’m a hypocrite and I don’t like the role reversal.
My chest is cramping tightly with worry, my stomach is in knots and all I want is for Kelsey to reply or pick up the phone, but she won’t. She won’t engage with me. I thought I wanted to cut off all communication with her; now I realize I’m the stupidest fucker on the planet. I don’t think I’m going to breathe deeply or get a moment’s sleep until I hear her voice.
It’s not like I can hop on a plane, head back to Aspen and get all of this sorted out – I’m one day into a four-day duty. I could withhold my number and call my parents but this is serious enough that it needs face to face intervention, especially if they are harassing Kelsey and getting her fired from a job she was amazing at.
I never thought they’d go after Kelsey considering I ended the relationship six months ago. I never saw them getting her fired or defaming her so she couldn’t get another job. I’m genuinely sick to my stomach that they had her trolled on the internet, that Kelsey’s hometown has turned its back on her.
I’m so mad that I could snap Helen’s neck and probably not care about it; how dare she even plant the seed of doubt in Kelsey’s head that she was a mistress and that our relationship was an affair. The only person I’ve ever been disloyal to was myself because I ignored my desires for years whilst following the wishes of others.
My relationship with Kelsey was real and honest…and I made her keep it a secret as if I had something to be ashamed of.
No wonder she would doubt me and my feelings. It’s no surprise at all that the woman I’m in love with now hates me.
“I don’t think there’s a single way you haven’t completely ruined my life.”
Her words haunt me over and over. I imagine the shake in her voice she gets when she’s upset, how wide and shiny her eyes are just before she cries, the pinched downward turn of her lips when her chin quivers with hurt and anger.
Fuck.
I’ve made such a mess of this.
There’s only one thing I can do to ease my panic; call Max.
As Kelsey is living with his girlfriend, Lucy, maybe he’ll have seen her and can tell me how she is. Or he’ll pass the phone to Lucy and she’ll give me the dressing down I deserve.
I wait impa
tiently while the call connects, the ringing an annoying drone in my ear.
“I was wondering how long it would take you to call,” Max says by way of greeting. “I’m guessing Kelsey messaged you and is now ignoring you?”
“You don’t miss a beat. I just need to know she’s okay. Have you seen her?”
“I had dinner with her, Lucy and Dix an hour ago and no, she’s not okay. She’s not been okay for weeks. She’s probably not been okay since you dumped her all those months ago. I’m not sure what you want me to say here, Mason? You keep making the wrong call as far as Kelsey is concerned and she keeps having to pay for those choices. She doesn’t have much left to give at this point.”
“Fuck. I honestly thought leaving town would be the best thing for both of us.”
“How the fuck did you figure that? Thrusting your opinions of a situation onto another and dictating their emotional response is never the solution, Mason. Take it from me. I had all these ideas in my head about Lucy that I believed to be fact and allowed them to keep us apart for a decade. I was an idiot and it nearly cost us both our happiness.”
“You callin’ me an idiot?” I say, half-joking to lighten the mood.
“Nope. I’m calling you an asshole. You’re my friend but you’re an asshole. I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to steal the sparkle Kelsey has, her upbeat and bubbly nature. But you managed it. With your pig-headed ideas that you knew best. She doesn’t smile. She’s lost her job, her apartment, the man she loves and is harassed and trolled by your family and psycho ex-wife.”
I don’t bother to argue any of his criticisms – Max knows better than most that unilaterally deciding the outcome of a relationship ends in disaster. He’s also my friend; if he thinks I’m behaving like an asshole, then I am. Not that I hadn’t already figured that out.
“When you say they harassed her, what exactly did they do?”
“You mean apart from professionally humiliating her and smearing her name across the internet?”
“Yeah,” I sigh deeply, “apart from that.”
“Well, when I turned up at the Mayor’s office to bring Lucy her lunch on the day Kelsey was fired, I found your parents and Helen hounding her in the parking lot. They surrounded her and all three were shouting in her face. Helen had grabbed hold of her arm and wouldn’t let her move. Kelsey did a decent job of hiding it, but I know Helen bruised her. They only stopped when I stepped in and threatened to call the cops.”
“Why didn’t you? Have them arrested – I sure as hell won’t bail them out. Let them face the consequences of their actions.”
“Kelsey told me not to; she was afraid it would just be her word against theirs as no CCTV cameras are covering the staff parking lot. Plus, your parents are close personal friends with the Mayor and Police Chief. I don’t like her decision, but I respect it.”
I hear the not-so-subtle dig and it’s another punch to the gut. He’s right. I’ve never respected Kelsey’s decisions. When she wanted to tell her parents or Lucy about our relationship, I shut her down. I didn’t trust her judgment or her ability to cope with the fall out of our relationship being public. The irony of that slaps me in the face because that’s exactly what she’s having to deal with now – except now she’s dealing with it alone whereas when she asked for our relationship to be public, we’d have faced the hurdles together, as a couple.
I didn’t respect her request to come to L.A. with me. I failed to respect her feelings when I cut her out of my life, blindly believing that I knew best and that she’d be better off instead of realizing I was dealing yet another blow to her heart.
Is it an age thing? Do I assume I have some level of higher wisdom because I’m older? Because it’s becoming quite apparent that with age and experience, insight does not necessarily follow.
Kelsey has been right the majority of the time. Had I listened to her thoughts and feelings and gone along with some of her decisions, we’d be in a healthy, loving relationship. Age isn’t a factor in successful relationships because my younger girlfriend has greater emotional intelligence than I do… I just wish I’d had that life-altering realization six months ago before I fucked us both over.
“Okay, I get it, Max. I’m an ass. I’m not arguing the point; I’m trying to figure out how to fix it all. Why didn’t you call me after the parking lot incident?”
“Not you as well,” he groans.
“What?”
“Lucy and Dix have already been on my case about that. I was following your instructions, Mason. You said you didn’t want to know anything. You wanted a fresh start without the drama. Also, you left Kelsey – again – and I didn’t think it was right for you to interfere and try to be the hero and rescue her from the situation if you were only going to leave her after. She doesn’t need you dropping in and out of her life. If you want in, I’ll help you fight for it. But no more dicking her around. Be what she deserves…if she’ll let you.”
“I want in. But I don’t know how to fix this and I can’t get back to Aspen until the weekend when my duty is over.”
“Then that gives us a few days to work on Kelsey…and we’re going to need it.”
“He’s going to need a fucking miracle,” I hear Lucy say in the background, although she doesn’t sound angry, more resigned to the uphill battle of helping me earn Kelsey’s forgiveness and working out how to fix all the wrongs I’ve caused in her life.”
“Thank you both. I’ll let you know my flight details when I have them,” I say before ending the call.
I don’t feel much better knowing that Kelsey’s life is fucked up and she’s struggling as much as I feared. But knowing she has Max and Lucy and that they’re going to try and help me make this right means I’ll probably be able to get some sleep, which is sort of crucial before battling through twelve-hour shifts fighting fires and saving lives.
~ Lucy ~
I watch the heavy expression on Max’s face as he puts his phone down on the kitchen island, worry etched deep. Mason is his friend and he wants to help him but Max is also the acting Fire Chief, which means keeping on the Mayor’s good side, which means trying not to get too tangled up in the web of crap the Foxes have spun. He also cares about my best friend and the complete detonation of her life because of Pat, Nancy, and Helen Fox.
As a couple, we’re in a sticky situation where we want to help the people closest to us but it’s a balancing act. I know we’d both like to tell the Foxes to fuck off but Max doesn’t want to make anything harder at the station for his men and who knows how deep the Foxes vindictive tendencies go?
“He shouldn’t come back,” I blurt out, the plan only half-formed in my head. No doubt the glasses of wine I’ve consumed are slowing down my brainpower.
“I know Kelsey is your best friend but he does love her. He’s fucked up royally, but he does.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that. I don’t mean he shouldn’t come back because I don’t want them back together; I didn’t know the reason at the time but Kelsey was the happiest I’ve ever seen her during the months they were dating. I mean the last thing they need is to be in this town, surrounded by his hostile family and ex-bitch while they try to fix their relationship.”
“I think I see where you’re going with this,” Max says, a small smile tugging at his mischievous lips.
“Kelsey needs to go to L.A. Her parents are traveling for the foreseeable future, there’s nothing left for her in this town except me and I’ll be damned if I let her wallow in misery and surround herself with people who are content to ruin her life, just so we can be geographically close. Kelsey going to Mason makes sense. No one else knows where he is, they’d have a fresh start together. A chance to repair their relationship away from the scrutiny of his parents and Helen. Kelsey would be able to find another job and build the life she wants.”
“The Mayor is a dick; he’s not likely to provide her with a letter of recommendation.”
“I write his letters of recommendation and I h
ave his digital signature. I honestly don’t give a fuck about forging one that provides the truth about what a talented and hardworking employee Kelsey is. And if it ever comes out, I’m sure I can find enough leverage on our dear Mayor to shut him up.”
“And that is why I never want to be on your bad side, cupcake,” he uses Kelsey’s nickname for me.
“The man fucked with my best friend; he really should know to watch his back. It’s easy to forget that the lowly employee you walk all over is usually the one who notices all your dirty secrets. Mayor Stevens hasn’t done anything illegal or questionable enough to get him thrown out of office, but morally? Well, let’s just say, there’s enough to muddy the waters and damage his reputation. He’s well aware of how easy it is to damage a reputation…after all, he did it to Kelsey.”
“Pick your battles wisely, Lucy,” Max cautions.
He’s not wrong, I’m not in the habit of making enemies and I don’t intend to start now, but I have a backbone if Mayor Stevens feels like fighting me for providing Kelsey with a letter of recommendation.
“I’m not going to war, Max. Kelsey wouldn’t want that. I’m merely saying I can give her what she needs and if Stevens tries to make life difficult for me, I can reciprocate.”
“Just be careful, okay? I’ve seen what the entitled assholes of this town do to honest people and I’m here for Kelsey, I am, but you’re my priority. The sooner that man’s term in office is over, the better.”
“You won’t hear me complaining or see me waving him goodbye…I’ll be the one kicking the door closed behind his flabby ass.”
“I take it you have a plan to get Kelsey to L.A.? Because she’s telling us she hates Mason and is ignoring his calls. I can attest to your powers of persuasion, but still…”