Riley and Jade sidled up to Max to check them out. Sure enough, in the pan were two pancakes, each around eight inches long and two inches thick, complete with bulbous mushroom caps and roundish testicles.
“Research.” Charlotte was one of those women who didn’t walk; she moved like she was either on a mission or completely lost. There was no in between. Clearly on a mission, she took the spatula from Max and flipped the pancakes. “What do you think? Pretty lifelike, right?” She set the spatula beside the stove and picked up her notebook. “I’m writing a story about a grocery store clerk who hooks up with an erotic male dancer. She’s a nightmare in the kitchen, which I can totally relate to, but she can cook pancakes. Like…only pancakes. After they hook up, she makes him dinner.” She eyed the pancakes again. “I think it totally works, right?”
“Lord,” Max said under her breath.
Jade peered at the griddle again. “Looks about an inch too small, and too thin. Definitely too thin.”
Riley laughed. “No comment. I wouldn’t want to make you feel like you were missing out.” Jade elbowed her, and they roared with laughter.
“They’re going to burn.” Max snagged the spatula and flipped them again. “I can’t believe I’m flipping a penis.”
“That would be penises,” Jade offered.
“Or peni?” Riley suggested. “What’s the plural of it anyway?”
“Cocks? Schlongs? Flesh P—” Jade bent over in hysterics. “Flesh Popsicles?”
Max turned beet-red. “You are so bad.”
“Oh, come on. It took me forever to get them right.” Charlotte grabbed a plate from the other side of the counter and set it in front of them. It was piled high with crooked penis pancakes.
“This one looks like the Leaning Tower of Pisa,” Jade pointed out.
“Why do you have to make them and get them right? They’re not actually going in the book.” Riley gasped. “Oh my gosh. Char, do you do all your research hands-on? For everything?”
All eyes turned to Charlotte, who seemed unaffected by their curiosity and delighted at the prospect of researching erotic love scenes with their men. “Well, sure.” She tucked a wayward lock of her tousled dark hair behind her ear. “I mean, if I’m going to write about a couple having sex on the stairs, I have to make sure the angle works, right? And it’s not just the size and shape of the pancake that matters for research. It’s the making of it. I have to imagine a man nibbling my neck while I’m stirring, or flipping, or—”
“Coming,” Jade suggested.
Max’s cheeks burned redder. “Jade!”
“Best. Job. Ever,” Riley added. “So, who’s the lucky research partner? Some hunky mountain man?”
Char scoffed. “You’re kidding, right? You think there are men around here? Nope. Just me and my blow-up dolls. It’s the mechanics of the scenes that need to work, not the…”
“Intensity of the orgasms?” Jade asked. “Because I think that’s what really matters. And we are so going to fix your no-man problem,” Jade promised.
Charlotte shook her head. “I’m not the dating type, but thank you very much. Guys are a pain. They get jealous of my hours at the keyboard, and they’re never as attentive as the heroes I create. It’s a recipe for disaster.”
“Funny,” Riley said. “I’m never disappointed with Josh in the attentiveness department. Maybe you’re just going out with the wrong guys.”
“Whatever.” Charlotte waved a hand dismissively.
“You know,” Max said. “Our hubbies have all those single cousins out in Pleasant Hill, Maryland. I bet Beau Braden could help you fix this place right up. He’s smart and funny, not to mention handsome—”
“Thanks,” Charlotte said, cutting her off. “But he’s a man, which means he’ll be jealous and demanding, and like I said, not nearly as good as my heroes. Better to live in a fantasy world that I can turn on and off with the flick of a switch.”
“Or an air pump,” Jade added.
Charlotte laughed. “I’m never naked with my dolls. Gosh, you guys should write dirty books.” She picked up a pancake from the plate and bit the head off of one of the crooked penises. “A dirty mind is a wonderful thing.”
“I smell pancakes!” Max and Treat’s daughter, Adriana, said as she bounded into the kitchen with her younger brother, Dylan, putting an end to their matchmaking efforts and penis talk.
“Incoming!” Jade moved between the griddle and the kids.
Riley put the box of brownies on top of the fridge before the kids could ask about it.
“Aunt Riley!” Adriana threw her arms around Riley’s waist. At almost seven she was tall and lanky, with eyes as green as the grandmother she was named after and hair as thick as Max’s and as dark as Treat’s.
“I want some!” Dylan stretched to his tiptoes to peer above the edge of the counter. He, too, was tall, but at just shy of four years old, he was still not quite tall enough.
Thank goodness.
Max pushed the plate of pancakes away from her son’s eager hands. “Those are Charlotte’s pancakes. I’ll make you some of your own.”
“They can eat the pancakes. I’ve already set the scene in my head.” Charlotte grabbed a plate from the cabinet, oblivious to Max’s glare. She took a fork and knife from the drawer, cut off the pancake testicles, rearranged them on the plate, and handed it to Dylan. “A rocket ship and two clouds.” She winked at Max and whispered, “Writers are very creative.”
Guess she isn’t oblivious after all.
“May I please have a rocket ship?” Adriana asked so politely Riley’s heart squeezed.
“Let the morning madness begin,” Jade said excitedly. “Big rockets for everyone! Can we make some with smoke coming out of the top?”
“Yeah!” the kids screamed.
Riley tried to squelch a laugh and snorted, earning a round of laughter from everyone else.
Max shook her head. “See what you’re missing by living in New York, Ri? Jade and the kids and I have breakfast together several times a week. I know what Jade’s breakfast special will be from now on.”
“Rocket ships and…” Jade’s eyes sparked with mischief. “Twin mountain peaks.” She and Riley laughed again.
“My job here is done,” Charlotte said with a satisfied smirk. “Back to my writing.”
“Just a sec,” Max said. “Last night Rex and Treat noticed that some of the railings were loose on the terrace where we’re going to have the ceremony. Since they’re building the canopy, they said they could fix those, too, but they couldn’t find the wood they had delivered last month.”
“Oh, right. Sorry. It’s in the woodshed down by Snow White’s cabin.”
Max arched a brow.
“Sorry. The original log cabin. If you saw it, you’d understand. When I was younger, I expected dwarfs to come out whistling every time I went down there. Too bad I never saw the handsome prince. I’ll draw you a map.” Charlotte tore a piece of paper from her notebook and began drawing a map. “There’s a small tractor and trailer in the shed they can use to transport the wood. At least there was when I first moved in. I haven’t been out there for three years.”
“Three years?” Max asked.
“Yeah. I wasn’t kidding when I said I never leave my little wing of this place. I only opened this big kitchen for you guys a few days ago. And I didn’t get everything cleaned out. So I’d stay away from the cabinets on that end of the room.” Charlotte waved her hand toward the intricately detailed maple cabinets across the enormous kitchen. “I live on microwaved foods, peanut butter and jam, and energy bars. I usually use my kitchenette, but I didn’t want to miss welcoming Josh and Riley this morning.” She handed the paper to Max.
“What are these?” Max pointed to several points on the map.
“Rock formations, groups of trees. You’ll know when you get there,” Charlotte assured her.
“Why don’t you open the resort again?” Riley asked. “I bet you could make a killing.”
Charlotte shrugged. “Maybe one day, but right now I’m perfectly happy writing. Besides, there’s a ton of work to be done around here. The railings are only the tip of the iceberg, and I don’t have time to breathe.” She tousled Dylan’s hair. “Enjoy the pancakes, little man. You girls can come get me if you need anything—but you might want to knock first.” She winked and headed out of the kitchen.
“Hi, Char,” Brianna said, passing Charlotte on her way out of the kitchen as she entered with Layla and Christian.
Layla made a beeline for Riley, giving her big hug. “Hi, Aunt Riley. Mommy said Adriana and I can make the flower headdresses for the wedding. We found some pretty flowers by the lake. I can’t wait to make them.”
“Layla!” Adriana smiled brightly, patting the chair beside her. “Sit with me.”
Layla settled in beside her.
Riley could hardly believe how big the girls had gotten. They leaned in close, whispering and giggling just like she and Jade had always done. She hoped her baby would have a bestie she or he adored, too.
A few minutes later Savannah came through the door with Adam in her arms. At just over a year old, Adam was the spitting image of his father, Jack. Lacy followed her in, carrying Finn, who was almost a year old, as blond as she was, and as dark-eyed as Dane.
Christian and Dylan were all giggles and blast-off noises as they gobbled down pancakes at the table, while Jade and the other women joked about rocket ships and explosions. Riley soaked it all in. She gazed out the window at Josh, who was talking with Dane and Hal beneath the leafy umbrella of a large tree. Treat, Hugh, and Jack stood a few feet away, and in the distance, Rex was leading Hope toward them. She loved that Hal had brought Hope to the wedding. Hope was as much a part of their family as any of them. She wished Josh’s mother could see her beautiful family coming together to help prepare for their special day.
“Let’s go over the plans for today.” Max set a notebook on the counter beside Riley and began ticking off their to-do list. Although Jade was the matron of honor, everyone knew Max was the best organizer on the planet. Jade had worked with her to make all the arrangements, but with her new baby boy to care for, she was happy to let Max do what she did best. The men were in charge of building the canopy, fixing the railings, stringing lights, and making sure the terrace was baby-proofed.
“Hal offered to help keep the kids busy making wedding decorations while we cook and make your wedding cake,” Jade added.
“I saw all the cake pans. Your friend Molly really came through for you,” Savannah said, repositioning Adam on her hip. He clung to a fistful of her hair like a security blanket.
“Molly is awesome. And Josh is going to be so surprised. He thinks we’re doing a fancy sheet cake, not a four-tier real wedding cake.” Riley smiled, thinking about the day she had surprised Josh with the news of their pregnancy. They’d both gotten teary-eyed imagining what life would be like with midnight feedings, a crib in a nursery, and baby toys strewn about the living room.
Brianna set another pancake on Christian’s plate. “Last one, piglet.” She kissed him on the top of his head.
“Aw, Mom,” he complained around a mouthful of pancake.
“I swear he’d eat until there was no more food if we let him.” Brianna pushed her dark hair behind her ear and reached for Finn. “I’m feeling the urge for another baby. Maybe Finny will scratch that itch.”
“Why not let Hugh scratch it?” Savannah bounced Adam on her hip. Eyeing the children, she lowered her voice and said, “We’re thinking about trying for another. I want Adam to be close to his siblings.”
“Besides,” Lacy whispered, “trying is so much fun.” She’d secured her blond corkscrew curls at the nape of her neck with a blue clip that matched her eyes. “We’re not trying to get pregnant, but we aren’t not trying either.” Her eyes danced with excitement. “No bun in the oven so far, but maybe next month we’ll get lucky.”
“How about you, Ri?” Jade asked. “You said you guys were going to try right away.”
Riley’s confession was on the tip of her tongue, but she had another few weeks before she’d feel like she was out of the woods. The last thing she wanted was to make her friends worry about her pregnancy when they were in such high spirits. Not wanting to outright lie, she said, “I went off the pill.”
“You did?” Jade asked. “How did I not know that?”
“It’s not like she needed to ask your permission,” Savannah joked.
Jade looked at Riley, her eyes suddenly a little sad. “No, but there was a time when we knew everything about each other.”
Riley’s heart ached. There was a time when Jade would have been the first person she’d told about such a big decision. But their lives were busier now, and their priorities had shifted. Jade was married with a new baby, and Riley’s life had become one deadline after another. While she and Jade used to talk on the phone at least four times each week, they now texted only a few times a week. And the night Riley and Josh had made the decision that Riley would stop taking birth control was their monumental moment. Wasn’t that the way their lives were supposed to evolve? To mold and shape around the people they grew to love as much—or more than—their very best friend?
“It’s only a matter of time before we’ll be throwing you a baby shower, Ri,” Max said excitedly. “Maybe a triple one with Lacy and Savannah. How fun would that be?”
Before Riley could answer, Jade reached for her hand. “Maybe you’ll get pregnant right away. Our babies could be in the same classes and grow up as close as we are.”
Riley’s heartbeat sped up, and she had to fight hard not to tell Jade her news. But she and Josh had made a joint decision, and she’d never betray him like that.
“I hope so.” Her honest confession sparked a litany of hopeful comments.
Surrounded by sweet baby noises, happy whispers, and the warmth of family, Riley let her hand drift to her belly as she gazed out the window again, her eyes immediately finding her handsome fiancé. Josh turned, scanning the windows as if he felt her gaze on him. Their eyes locked, the electricity between them as hot as ever and the love carrying it as real and stable as the mountains they stood upon.
JOSH AND HIS brothers stood in the yard discussing the work that needed to be completed for the wedding. As Rex looked over the map Charlotte had drawn, which would guide them to the woodshed, Josh thought about the other things that needed to be done. Once they found the woodshed, building the canopy would be time-consuming but definitely doable. Rex and Jack were experts at building things. Fixing the railings and stringing lights around the terrace were a piece of cake, but making sure the terrace was completely baby-proofed? Josh didn’t know the first thing about baby-proofing, but it was about time he learned. First, though, they had to find the woodshed.
“Are you kidding me?” Rex stared at the map with an annoyed look on his face.
“It can’t be that bad.” Jack took the map from him and chuckled. “Okay, maybe it can be that bad. Heart tree? What’s a heart tree?”
Hal cleared his throat and reached up to pet Hope.
Treat snagged the map from Jack. At six foot six, he stood shoulder to shoulder with their father and had a solid few inches over each of his siblings. “Max would never let these directions pass without asking for an explanation.” He studied the map. “Snow White’s house? This is like a fairy-tale wild-goose chase. I have a feeling someone’s pulling our legs. Hold on. Let me check.”
Hal put an arm around Josh’s shoulder and leaned in close. “Your mother would get a kick out of this.”
“At her sons being totally perplexed?” Josh asked.
Hal shrugged. “She’d never ask for directions. She’d take that map and follow it to a tee, just to see what she could discover along the way.”
Treat pulled out his cell phone and called Max. “Sweetness, we’re having some trouble with these directions.” He paused, his brows lifted, and a small smile slid across his face. “Sounds good
. Thanks, beautiful. How’re the kids? Okay. Absolutely. Put her on.” He lowered the mouthpiece and said, “Adriana wants to say something. Hold on.” As he listened again, his smile widened. “Okay, precious girl. I’ll let him know. Yes. Yes. Okay, love you, sweetheart.”
“Well?” Rex crossed his arms, his biceps twitching with impatience as Treat put his phone in his pocket.
“Adriana wants Hugh to know that Dylan wants a race car for Christmas,” Treat explained.
“That’s a boy after my own heart,” Hugh said. “Christian’s already got a little go-kart. I can have one made for Dylan.”
“Adriana also said she doesn’t want you to buy him one, because they’re too dangerous.” Treat put a hand on Hugh’s shoulder. “So before you go having anything made, I suggest you take it up with Max and Adriana. You’re liable to get an earful.”
“Come on, bro,” Hugh said. “Go-karts are a rite of passage.”
“Then you’ll have no issue with me teaching Christian to dive with sharks when he’s older?” Dane gave Treat an I’ve-got-your-back nod.
“That’s totally different,” Hugh argued. “You can’t control a shark.”
“Like you can control a race car?” Dane scoffed. “Give me a break.”
“We’re talking about go-karts, not race cars,” Hugh pointed out. “And why are you so persnickety? You drove them when we were young. Like I said, it’s a rite of passage.”
“There are no rites of passage once you’re married,” Jack reminded them. “Joint decisions, concessions. That’s the name of the happily-ever-after game.”
“Thank God Riley and I have the same beliefs about kids,” Josh said under his breath.
“That won’t matter,” Hugh said. “You could have a kid who wants to follow in my footsteps, or Treat’s, or Rex’s, or he could swim with sharks like Dane. You can’t control what kids want.”
“No, but I can control what I allow them to do,” Josh responded.
“All I know is, my boy’s never going anywhere near sharks or race cars,” Rex said. “He can sit his ass on a tractor or a horse. Can we focus now? Christ, Josh will never get married if we dick around all day. Treat, what did Max say about the map?”
Story of Love (Josh & Riley's Wedding Novella): Love in Bloom: The Bradens Page 3