by Fel Fern
“Wasn’t one of the grooms your ex-boyfriend?” Clark asked me.
“Just give me my glass of red wine, bartender,” I said loudly.
Clark frowned at me. “You know, you’re really lucky to have Wayne.”
“Everyone in this nosy family says the same thing.”
“Because it’s true. Don’t you know how rare it is to realize your soul mate is right under your nose?”
I snorted because I reacted in odd ways when confronted with the awful truth. “Clark, I’ve never taken you for a romantic.”
“Whatever.” Clark poured me my drink. I grabbed the glass, but he added, “I saw the two of you on the dance floor. I didn’t know Wayne could dance.”
“I dragged him to dancing lessons.” I took a sip of my wine.
I was an idiot.
“Take it easy on Wayne.”
Clark didn’t need to remind me. I gulped down my wine and handed the glass back to Clark. Right now, I sure needed that extra dose of liquid courage.
I went searching for my best friend. I didn’t find him anywhere around the reception area. I began to sweat under my suit.
Shit. I probably said something that made Wayne angry. What if he left? I stopped a passing waiter carrying a tray of hor oeuvres.
“Can I have these? I’m having a bad day.” I pouted at the waiter, not caring if he was straight or gay.
I thought the waiter would tell me off but he handed me the entire tray with some reluctance.
“You’re the best,” I told the waiter.
With my offering to Wayne in hand, I went looking for him again.
Wayne never could resist anything free. During one of our big family weekend barbecues, an aunt of mine whipped out several platters of these babies.
We nabbed a tray and ate it in secret, far away from my equally greedy cousins.
That had been years ago. Wayne and I were no longer teenagers but neither of us forgot all the good times we had.
It took a better part of an hour but I found him inside the hotel, sitting at the empty restaurant. He looked a little lonely. I stopped, watched him for a few moments.
Wayne undid his bowtie and finished his bottle.
I slipped into the empty chair opposite him and set our tray of stolen appetizers on the table.
“Ta-da. Look what I scored.”
No response from Wayne. He looked at me steadily, his gaze was unreadable.
Shit.
I knew I was pushy. My family always reminded me to be thankful to Wayne, because he always went along with my schemes—albeit reluctantly.
The silence was damning and I began imagining the worst-case scenario. Wayne and I breaking our friendship off. Wayne leaving the apartment.
The space would feel so empty, so quiet without him around.
I could always lean on my family but Wayne was different. He was my stone. My anchor.
Oh God.
Have I finally managed to push my best friend away?
5
Wayne
Denver looked so uncomfortable. He shifted on his chair, opened his mouth again but no words came out.
Good. I wanted, no needed him to have an inkling of what I was feeling. I hated every moment of that awful reception.
Denver hatched this scheme to get back at Ken. Does that mean Denver still had feelings for Ken?
That question kept popping up repeatedly in my head.
I tried my best not to look at his peace offering—the platter of tasty looking bacon-wrapped asparagus on the table. All I’ve had so far were vegetables.
How did Denver manage to find bacon?
Denver could talk the ear out of anyone, I remembered.
“Wayne, why did you walk away just now?” Denver finally asked.
Why did I?
It suddenly got so hot, so crowded that I felt claustrophobic. Also, it didn’t help that my annoyance with Denver had reached an all-time high.
“You said we’d attend the ceremony, then stick around for a couple of minutes for the reception,” I reminded him.
I didn’t recognize my voice. It came out harsh, almost growly.
“I know.” Denver bit on his bottom lip. “I got carried away with the revenge business.”
“Or maybe,” I began. “You still have some unresolved feelings for Ken.”
“What? Get out. Of course, I don’t,” Denver blurted.
“Then why go through all this effort, this charade to get back at him?” I asked.
Denver couldn’t answer me immediately.
“See?” I pulled out the asparagus from the bacon and popped it into my mouth.
I grabbed another piece of bacon, watching Denver gather his thoughts.
“I’m over Ken,” Denver said.
He looked solemn, serious, and completely unlike him. He reached out across the table and touched my hand.
Denver started stroking the back of my hand like I was an angry dog that needed to clam down. I jerked my fingers away and ate more bacon, glaring at him all the while.
It was childish, but I wanted him to admit he was wrong. That we shouldn’t have come here in the first place. That he no longer had feelings for Ken, because it was me he wanted.
Always me.
“Don’t lie to me,” I warned.
“I’m not and don’t finish all our snacks.” He slapped my hand away from the tray only for me to grip his wrist.
Denver sucked in a breath and looked up at me when I didn’t let go. I guess I needed to spell out the truth to him.
“I walked away because if I didn’t, I was going to hunt Ken down and beat his sorry ass,” I told him. “I was mad with jealousy. I hated the fact you’re still into him.”
“You were jealous?” Denver asked.
“Did you hear everything else I said?” I demanded.
“Wayne, I wasn’t lying to you. Ken’s not even on my radar anymore. I also had an ulterior motive coming here.”
“And what’s that?”
“So we could have some downtime.” Denver ate the rest of the appetizer.
I ordered another beer from the kind and elderly owner of the inn, Mrs. Fields. Since Denver didn’t have anything to drink, I ordered him a glass of wine.
I liked it here in the restaurant. It was quiet, homey, and cool unlike the hot and noisy reception outside. We ordered more food off the menu.
Mrs. Fields, our angel, returned with fries, fried calamari, and more beer and wine. I wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon like this, just pigging out and getting hammered with my best friend. We could conveniently forget what happened earlier.
“Remember when we stole a tray of hor oeuvres from my aunt?” Denver asked.
Of course, I did. I remembered everything. I committed every memory I made with Denver and locked them in a special box in my head.
“Yeah, we got sick after. Remember? Your aunt was so angry.”
“So were my cousins. Say, did you notice Clark lost a little bit of weight?”
It was time to fess up. I could never stay angry at Denver for long and besides, I hated the immature way I’ve acted. I didn’t want any distance, any tension between us.
Denver wasn’t the only one at fault. I wasn’t completely blameless either.
“Yeah, Clark broke up with someone, but don’t let him know I told you.”
“What? Are you serious? I didn’t know Clark was seeing anyone.”
“Well, you know how your family is. Clark wanted to keep his relationship a secret until he was certain it was serious. You know how his mom could be.”
“Wait a second. Since when did Clark and you become so close?”
I shrugged. “He dropped off a car rental a few weeks ago. We started chatting. He invited me to play basketball a few times.”
“Basketball? So last Sunday when you mentioned you were going to shoot some hoops, it was to hang out with Clark?”
Denver looked unsettled, which I sort of liked. Hell, he even s
ounded a little jealous. I knew I was a bad person for thinking that but over the years, Denver had put me in awful spots before.
“Clark needed a friend and your family is kind of,” I paused, looking for the right word. “Overbearing.”
“So you Alphas formed some kind of secret club, is that it?”
“Denver, you’re starting to sound like a jealous lover.”
I was baiting him.
I wanted him to admit he had feelings for me and I didn’t know why.
That was a lie. Maybe I was sick of waiting around and pretending things were normal between us but they weren’t.
I wanted to date my best friend. To have a romantic relationship with Denver. I pictured Denver in my bed, his hair all mussed and wearing a lazy smile. He’d look recently fucked.
In my mind’s eyes, I saw him walking around the apartment, pregnant with our kid.
I was thinking way too far ahead.
How would I ever reach that point, when I haven’t even told him how I felt about him?
Time to change that.
“I always know where you are at all times and what you’re up to,” Denver said in a sullen voice. “I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.”
“I know. It won’t happen again.”
“You promise?” Denver asked.
I didn’t know whether it was the beer that gave me the extra courage to crook a finger at him. Denver leaned closer as if he expected us to share a conspiratorial whisper.
I tipped his chin using my fingers, gazed into his surprised brown eyes. He didn’t shove me away or ask what I was doing.
I went for it.
I kissed him, feeling him out at first. When Denver gripped my arm and responded, I knew it was finally happening.
Kissing him was everything I ever imagined. Denver tasted so fucking sweet, like wine and berries. I moved my hand to the back of his neck, keeping him in place. I was still a little terrified that he’d somehow leave.
I swiped my tongue into his mouth, thrust it down his throat only for Denver to suck down hard on it. My dick thickened in my trousers. I didn’t care who was watching.
I wanted to drag Denver to his feet, throw him on the nearest table. Then I’d strip him out of his clothes and finally do what I’ve been dreaming of doing for ages.
Own his body and make him mine.
My heart was his to keep. Since the first day we met back in high school, I was always his. I wondered if he knew that.
Denver trailed his fingers down my chest. I pulled away first, panting. I knew if I didn’t stop, I would turn my erotic fantasy into a reality. It scared me a little, knowing how little self-control I had over my body.
“What are we doing?” Denver asked, sounding a little dazed.
“You didn’t push me away.” I reminded him.
“Kissing you felt so amazing, like it was the most natural thing in the world,” Denver whispered, gazing up at me.
My heart thudded.
How many times have I pictured Denver looking at me like that, like I wasn’t just his best friend but a potential lover?
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.”
“We can’t,” Denver said.
Those two simple words ripped my heart in two. I thought Denver felt the same thing I did.
We shared a revelation, didn’t we?
We could be so good together. We could be more than just best friends.
The old Wayne would’ve just chalked up his losses and given up but not this new me. I wanted answers.
“Tell me why we can’t? We’re perfect for each other,” I told him. “I know every one of your secrets, Denver. I know your likes and dislikes. For example, you tell everyone, including your cousins that you love country music but you hate it. You prefer pop.”
“Hey, don’t give away my secrets,” Denver began.
I raised a finger. “I’m not done. You always pick out the pickles in your burgers and give them to me to eat. You’re a cat person even though you’re allergic to them—”
“Wayne, stop,” Denver said, squeezing my arm. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“We know so much about each other that it makes everything so much easier.”
“Easier to ruin the awesome friendship we have,” Denver blurted.
“The chemistry between us is undeniable. I bet you’re rocking a hard-on for me now, aren’t you?” I demanded.
I took a peek under the table only for Denver to kick my knee. I cursed, bumping my head against the wood.
“Oh shit, Wayne. I’m sorry,” he said.
I returned my attention to him, frowning, unable to understand what the fuck was happening.
6
Denver
“Wayne, come on. Can we talk about just now?” I demanded.
Right after our awkward supper, Wayne announced he wanted to return to our room. Since he wasn’t listening to me, I followed him.
Wayne took off his jacket and lay on the bed. He curled on his side, away from me on purpose.
“Let’s talk about this like adults,” I suggested.
I knew I stepped on a landmine because Wayne out what suspiciously sounded like a frustrated growl.
“Like adults? We came here pretending to be a couple. We’re both 27 this year, Denver. We shouldn’t be acting like vengeful teenagers.” Wayne reminded me.
Feeling stung, I crossed my arms. I stood right next to his bed, waiting for an apology that never came.
Seconds passed. Then minutes.
“Hey, are you pretending to be asleep so you don’t need to talk to me?” I asked.
I was tempted to slide next to him, to hug him, except that would be a dangerous move. I imagined Wayne turning around, crawling on top of me and pinning me under his big body.
I might resist him for a couple of seconds before giving in.
We had two arguments in a day. I couldn’t remember the last time we fought like this and it was all my fault.
When I told Wayne nothing should happen between us, I was lying both to him and myself.
I lusted after Wayne just as much as he desired me but I was selfish. I wanted both my best friend and a boyfriend but I didn’t think I could have both.
Wayne was right. He knew everything about me, faults and all.
He knew I was horrible at the dating game. I never got far in any of my relationships because I was terrified of letting someone in. Except I didn’t need to be afraid of doing that with Wayne. I hid nothing from my best friend.
Truth was, I was downright terrified of screwing everything up. I couldn’t bear to remain in this room a second longer.
It felt suddenly tiny, like the walls were closing down on me.
“I’m going out for a swim,” I said.
I strode out of the room and slammed the door shut behind me. I didn’t know why I pressed my ear against the door.
Part of me was still hoping Wayne would get out of bed and follow me outside.
When nothing happened after a few seconds, I let out a frustrated breath. I returned to the first floor, grabbed a seat at the restaurant, and ordered a beer.
I could still hear the music from the wedding reception from where I was seated. I wasn’t alone in the restaurant anymore. There were a group of friends hogging one table and an elderly couple sitting a few tables from where I sat.
Loneliness settled in the pit of my stomach. I watched the couple gloomily. The woman grabbed a steak knife. She helped cut her husband’s meat into smaller pieces.
I envisioned Wayne and me in that table, white-haired, sitting close together, looking at each other the way that couple did—with tenderness and undeniable affection.
“You want anything else, dear?” A waitress asked, stopping by my table.
I glanced down at my empty bottle. “Yeah. Beer, please.”
I was drinking a lot but I didn’t care. This wasn’t right. Wayne was upstairs, fuming in bed while I was here, drink
ing all by my lonesome.
I downed my beer and began to feel a little light-headed and warm all over. Going back to that room and confronting Wayne again wasn’t an option.
I paid for my drinks and went outside. The chilly night air blasted at my face. I shoved my hands into the front pockets of my pants and took a little stroll around the grounds.
I avoided the wedding reception as much as possible. It didn’t matter. The newly married couple would be long gone by now. They were probably on their to their honeymoon.
I overheard another wedding guest mention that they were heading to some fancy resort in Mexico.
I hugged my sides, wishing Wayne was walking next to me in companionable silence. I blinked, stopping in my tracks when I realized where I was.
I had wandered to the poolside. It was too cold to take a dip, so I had the entire area to myself.
I did tell Wayne I wanted to go for a swim. Maybe the water would cool my head and besides, it would be a waste not to make use of the hotel facilities. The rooms here weren’t exactly cheap and I paid for ours using my last salary.
I huffed, still angry at Wayne. This staycation wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. We were supposed to have a good laugh at the wedding.
Wayne would endure all the jokes and insults I slung at Ken and Carl. We’d get stupidly drunk at the bar and end up in this very pool.
I peeled off my shirt. Goosebumps appeared across the skin of my arms, my chest. I shivered. This wasn’t the best idea in the world.
Still, I figured if I ended up getting a cold, Wayne would forget all about our fight. He’d be too busy fussing over me.
“You’re a dick, Denver,” I muttered to myself.
That didn’t stop me from taking off my pants.
“Hey,” said an unfamiliar voice. “You’re taking a swim at a night like this?”
I whirled, eyes narrowed. The speaker turned out to be a guy in his late thirties. He had dark brown hair, blue eyes, and wore a rumpled suit. Probably another wedding guest of Ken and Carl’s.
I didn’t like the way he looked me up and down. Only Wayne could eye-fuck me like I was a tasty piece of meat. This guy had no right.
“Go away. I want to be alone.” I uttered those words by reflex.