by Ava Kendrick
“Well,” I said, screwing my face up into what I hoped passed for a smile. “It’s been good to see you.”
I turned and started toward the door. Fuck the coconut. Fuck the party, I thought. I was going home and cracking open a bag of nachos and eating the whole damn thing in one sitting.
I gasped when I felt his fingers tighten around my wrist. I glanced back at him dumbfounded.
“I’d kill for a coffee. You want one?”
I had to consciously close my mouth to stop it hanging open in surprise. I told myself not to get carried away—it wasn’t exactly a declaration of love. Something in his eyes told me this was far from a friendly coffee even though my inner realist told me to back the hell up.
I nodded.
“So,” I said, taking a sip of my latte and glancing up at him. I didn’t know what it was about this guy, but he could make my panties melt at fifty paces.
“Uh-huh?”
I smiled back inanely, unable to think of anything to say. Because my god, he was even hotter like this than he was in a suit. His face still bore the lines of sleep. It would have been adorable if there wasn’t an underlying edge to him. I couldn’t help but be drawn to it. I’d never been attracted to bad boys before, but I craved this one like he was a drug.
We were the only ones sitting in the dining area of the store at that time of the morning. It surprised me—usually in places like that, it was abuzz the whole day. I was glad of the silence, though. It felt like we were in our own little world.
I rolled my eyes. How was it when it came to him I was capable of such terrifying depths of sugary grossness?
“What?”
I clapped my hand over my mouth—it had taken me a couple seconds to realize what was up. I’d actually rolled my eyes.
“Nothing. Just thinking of something.”
His eyebrows were raised.
“It’s nothing.”
“Hey, Roman,” I said, emboldened all of a sudden.
“Yeah?”
“You like old movies?”
He hesitated for a moment, and I thought what a dumb thing to say to this big, tough guy.
But then his eyes widened. “Actually, yeah. I do.”
Eighteen
Roman
“Another?” I whispered into her hair as the screen went black.
She tilted her head back and stared up at me, tears shining in her eyes. “Really?”
I nodded.
“I was worried you might have been bored.”
“No. Of course not.”
How could I have been bored around her? She was intoxicating. The smell of her hair; the soft touch of her skin. She’d automatically led me to one of those old-fashioned double seats. As the movie went on, we’d gravitated to one another; by the end we were squeezed so close that we would have fit in a single seat. She couldn’t have bored me if she tried.
I couldn’t say the same thing about the movie. I’d never been into black and white movies. I don’t know, I just never saw the point. In any movie really. Give me a football game and a six-pack. That was all the entertainment I needed. Well, outside of the bedroom.
But I liked the old movie theater. I’d walked past it so many times, but never really noticed it was there. The seats were faded red velvet from being sat on hundreds of times. There was even a curtain across the screen. I glanced down at her and smiled when I saw her profile. She was staring into space, a cute smile on her face.
I shook my head.
“What?” she glanced up at me.
“Nothing,” I murmured.
She bit her lip, and it was my turn to wonder what she was thinking. I didn’t say anything, though. It was all so strange—I’d accepted the fact that I was never going to share my life with somebody. Then I’d met Cleo, and now I couldn’t stand the idea of going home alone to an empty apartment.
“Didn’t you say you have a party?”
Just walk away, Roman.
She shrugged and smiled. “I guess,” she said slowly. “It’s Julia’s friend. I was just going to tag along.”
I nodded slowly. My brain was telling me to get up and walk away, but my body wasn’t responding. Worse, it was doing the opposite of what I wanted it to do. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her even closer. There was no such thing as too close when it came to Cleo—I couldn’t get enough of her.
Even though I knew the dangers.
Even though I could still remember what it felt like to have my world destroyed.
“You know, I think I have a better idea,” I heard myself say.
She grinned mischievously, knowing immediately what I meant. And before I knew what was happening, she’d grabbed my hand and was leading me up the stairs and out of the darkened movie theater.
Nineteen
Cleo
I’d spent the last few nights at Roman’s place; hell, most of my meager belongings now resided there as I kept going back to Julia’s apartment to grab a change of clothes or a pair of shoes for a job interview.
I was intoxicated by him. And he wasn’t just having a healing effect on my body. He was having a similar effect on my mind. I no longer woke in the middle of the night screaming, unable to explain the strange feelings that hung over me until midday. I could only attribute that to the ways in which he exhausted my body and then wrapped his huge, strong arms around me.
And it seemed like my mind was starting to clear. Whenever I sat in a silent room, I swore I could hear a strange voice in my mind. At first, I’d thought I was going even crazier, but it was always the same; it always said the same thing. And even though I couldn’t remember anything else, I felt sure it had something to do with that night in my apartment.
The cops were a lot more skeptical than Roman and Julia, who’d encouraged me to call them again. I found that out when I breathlessly called Detective Morrison to report the progress.
“What did they say?” Roman asked as I ended the call.
I shook my head. “I think he thinks I’m wasting his time.”
He frowned. “Asshole. What did he say?”
I moaned with contentment as he came to me and wrapped me in his huge arms. Suddenly the detective’s dismissive tone didn’t bite as bad as before.
“He told me to let him do his job and call him when I remember something concrete.”
“Have you remembered anything else?”
I shook my head. “No. Just the voice. I swear it was in my apartment. I don’t know how I know. A man. He…”
Roman nodded encouragingly. “He didn’t sound…”
I shook my head. It sounded crazy to say when I didn’t even have a face to attach it to, but the voice reminded me of Steve’s, my old boss from Tupelo Partners. He was a paunchy executive who drank to excess every opportunity he got. He’d also been educated at the most expensive prep schools before he’d gone to Yale.
Not the voice of your average home invader.
Roman frowned. “You told the cop that?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, but I don’t think he even listened to me.”
He squeezed me tight. “You’re safe here. I’ll never let anyone harm you again, you know that?”
I looked up at him, forcing back the ear-to-ear grin that was threatening to appear on my face. “I can take care of myself,” I said.
I needed him to know that; needed him to see I was capable of standing on my own two feet. I didn’t need him; I wanted him.
Roman raised his eyebrow. “Oh yeah?” he teased. “Like last time?”
I swatted at him, but he danced out of the way, surprisingly light on his feet for such a huge man.
“That was low,” I murmured, coming after him.
He shook his head smiling. “I know. I’m sorry.” He reached for my hips and lifted me to him, and all my frustrations were forgotten. “I just wanted you to know. I’m looking out for you.”
This time, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I bent my head and kissed him, and
my stomach burst out in butterflies. I gasped.
I was wrong. I didn’t just want him. I needed him. I couldn’t help it—he was an addiction.
Twenty
Roman
“Roman?”
We didn’t bother with formalities in my line of work.
“It’s me.”
“Listen. I need you.”
My heart raced. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Its luminous green digits said it was five am. Beside me, Cleo’s breathing was shallow and regular. She was still in a deep sleep. Which was exactly where I should have been.
“It’s five in the fucking morning.”
“Fuck this, Roman,” he drawled. “How am I supposed to reach you if you get pissy about me coming to your apartment?”
“How am I supposed to react? You know I like to keep a low profile.”
“Huh. Well, whatever. I’ve got something big. My client is really… excited about this.”
I bolted upright. “The same one as before?”
“Yup. Something’s come up on his side.”
His breathing sounded strange; tense. I didn’t like it. I could say a lot of things about Dmitri, but he didn’t often lose his cool. I waited. Suggesting he was stressing would only drive him closer to the edge.
“Oh?” I said, staring at Cleo’s sleeping form.
“Do you really want me to go into specifics?”
“No, of course not.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was awake less than two minutes and already the prick was giving me a headache.
“Can you come over?”
“It’s five in the morning, Dmitri.”
He sighed. I could almost hear the sound of him gritting his teeth.
“Feel free to call one of your other guys.”
He paused. “I need you on this, you jerk. And you know that.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll call you later.”
I dialed off and threw off the covers. I was wide awake now; wired.
I walked out of the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind me. There was something nagging me. It was almost like he was in a state of panic. And that wasn’t like Dmitri.
I didn’t know who this client was, but it said a lot that Dmitri seemed utterly petrified of him. Or at least, revered enough to go into panic mode and call me. Dmitri didn’t seem to be afraid of anyone. I sat on the couch and tapped my fingers on my bare knee. I ground my teeth.
I’d written this client of Dmitri’s off as some idiot who had more money than sense. But that couldn’t have been true—if it had been, Dmitri would have eaten him for breakfast. He was rich, reckless and dangerous? That was an interesting combination. Guys like that usually found themselves on the front of the national papers sooner or later.
I sighed and stood up, walking to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator. It was empty except for a six pack. I cursed and paced across the room again. Something wasn’t right about this. I pulled my cell phone off the table and debated whether to call Dmitri back. I felt weary all of a sudden, like maybe it was time to get out.
But…
I ran through my options, in my head, over and over. I was stuck in such a bind that I didn’t even notice that it had gotten light outside the tiny window. Cleo got out of bed and jumped in the shower, giving me a curious look as she walked past and saw me huddled on the couch, weighing my dilemma.
“Everything okay?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. Just work stuff.”
She stopped mid-step and came to me, throwing her towel-clad body beside me. The scent of her freshly washed skin wafted to me in seconds and I noticed she’d used my shower gel. That was sexy—her enveloped in the clean, masculine scent I used.
“Anything I can help with?” she asked, her eyelids still heavy with sleep.
I shook my head and threw my cell on the table. “Nah.”
“Even if you just want to throw ideas around? I know I won’t know the details of what you’re doing.”
I froze.
“I don’t know the first thing about insurance, but I dunno. Maybe talking might help.”
I exhaled with relief. Of course, she didn’t know exactly what I was faced with.
“There’s a guy,” I said hesitantly. “A guy I work with.”
She smiled sleepily. “You’ve never told me about the people you work with.”
I shrugged. Guys like me can’t ask for career advice from our friends or families, and I wasn’t exactly like some of the other guys who were totally immersed in each other’s lives. And that’s what made them vulnerable to informers. I liked my way better, I decided. No one knew everything about me; not even Dmitri.
“Well I’m here. If you need to talk about it.”
There she goes again, I thought. Completely disarming me.
By not pushing me, she made me burst to tell her. Not the full truth, obviously.
“This guy. He’s kind of an unknown. Different to other clients.”
“How so?”
“Well…” I thought about it, trying to put it into the corporate terms that were totally foreign to me. “We need to work together on a… project. He doesn’t operate like others. I don’t know much about him, but my gut tells me he’s a loose cannon. I’m worried he could drag me down with him.”
Her adorable face curled up into a frown. “Would it reflect badly in your performance review?”
I had to stifle a laugh at that image. “You could say that I guess.”
“You have to be more specific. Say the project fails or whatever. What’s gonna be the impact on your career?”
I won’t have one. I’ll be in maximum security pen somewhere far away from your gorgeous face. “Hard to say.”
“Well try. It’s the only way you’re going to make an objective decision. Weigh up the pros and cons. The risks and opportunities.”
“Opportunities?”
“Yeah. Like what you’re going to get if you deliver the project. I’m surprised you don’t have these processes at your work. In my old job, we lived and breathed them. And that was at a small practice. Imagine what it’s like in the big four accounting firms or in management consulting?”
I nodded along, only understanding every second or third word she said. We were so different, me and her. With her gray areas and opportunities and cons and…
Opportunity: easy money. And power for Dmitri.
Risk: death. Or death row.
“Roman?”
I thought back to Dmitri’s agitation. “A lot of money if we pulled it off.”
She nodded. “Maybe it’s worth it.”
I frowned at her. “Do I look like the kinda guy who needs money?”
She glanced around my apartment and I could see her thoughts as clearly as if she’d said them. “No. This place must cost a fortune in rent, even though it’s as sterile as an airport.”
I shouldered her playfully. “You after me for my money, huh?”
She shook her head. “No. Not your money.”
“What then?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re different.”
“So it’s a lady and the tramp thing, is it?”
She shouldered me back, a look of pure outrage on her face. “No, you fucktard. You’re different to other guys I’ve met.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “You and me. I dunno, maybe it’s stupid. But I feel like we’re a lot the same.”
I sighed. If she only knew the truth.
I turned back to find her watching me thoughtfully. “What?” I demanded.
She shook her head laughing. “I didn’t expect you to be so… conservative, you know?”
“I’m not.”
She looked skeptical. I felt a rush of adrenaline. I leaped from the couch and grabbed my cell. “Back in a sec.”
She watched me curiously as I walked to the bedroom and closed the door behind me. Sure, I was getting used to having her around, but some things needed to remain private. They always
would. That was why a relationship wasn’t a good idea for someone like me—well, just one of the reasons. Living alone, single; there was nobody to answer to. That would all change if I allowed myself to get involved, I reminded myself. What happened when she asked where I’d been all evening? I couldn’t exactly tell her what I’d been doing.
I shook my head, knowing there was little point in thinking about the future like that. I wouldn’t let it get that far—what was the benefit? I leaned against the wall and called Dmitri. He answered after the first ring.
“Hey, man.”
“You take your crazy pills?” he demanded. “If someone called me with a deal like this, I wouldn’t have needed hours to think about it. You remember how much he paid last time, huh?”
“Yeah, I just…”
What? I wondered. Was it just that I didn’t like the sound of this client, or was it something else? Ever since I’d met Cleo, things had been different.
“You’ve just what?”
“Nothing, man. I had stuff to do.”
“So what do you think?” he said quickly and breathlessly.
This was a big deal for him. His operation wasn’t exactly small-time, but this was different. That last job? Nobody could afford to pay like that unless they were serious players. This could be an opportunity for Dmitri to expand his influence across the entire city. Hell, I didn’t begrudge him that—I’d get some serious cash for my part in it all. Put like that, how could I possibly have hesitated?
“Yeah. Sounds good.”
I wasn’t planning to tell Dmitri about how I’d wavered. What was I gonna do? Move to Florida and play shuffleboard with my fucking grandparents? No. A momentary lapse in judgment, that was all.
“I’m in.”
He grunted; I’d known him long enough to recognize that sound as a note of approval.