“Aye. Claire, what are ye trying to tell me?”
“Well…I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I’ve learned that it is possible to travel through time. A soul from one time can enter the body belonging to a soul from another time.”
He stared at her and began shaking his head slowly. “Nay, ye can’t have...I can’t believe it. Claire, did Gertrude give ye the pocket watch?”
Cassie stared at him blankly. “Ye know about Gertrude and the pocket watch?”
“Aye, I do. Answer my question. Did Gertrude give it to ye?”
“Aye, she did.”
Tavish looked as if someone had punched him. “And ye want to use it? Ye want to travel to another time?”
“Tavish, I already have used the watch. I came here.”
“So ye’re a soul from the future who entered Claire’s body?”
Cassie nodded. She couldn’t read his expression and it scared her a little.
He scrubbed his face with his hands. “And ye can still go back to yer own time?”
“Aye.”
He turned away from her. “Damn it all. Please stay, Claire. I don’t want to lose ye. I can’t lose ye.”
“Tavish, as much as I love hearing those words, I’m still stuck back on the part about how ye know about Gertrude and the pocket watch?”
“Because she gave it to me.” His voice sounded strained. He met her gaze and the pain she saw there tore at her heart.
“Did ye use it?” Her voice was quiet and tremulous. “Did ye travel through time?”
“Aye, I did.”
“Where did ye go?”
“Claire, I came here from the future and I stayed.”
Cassie’s mouth fell open, dumbfounded. Finally she said, “Well, of all the ways I thought this conversation might go, I never imagined that. When did ye come here? I mean how long have ye been here?”
“I’ve been here for seventeen years.”
Seventeen years? He’d just been a boy. “Why did ye decide to stay?”
“It’s a long story, and I’ll tell it to ye, but please, answer my question. Have ye decided to stay? Will ye be my wife?”
“I want to stay. It’s what I’ve been wrestling with. If ye’ve done this, ye know it isn’t an easy decision. It means leaving my old life behind and that’s more than a little scary. But at the same time, I’m not sure there’s anything left there for me. I mean there are people there who I love, but I’m sort of cut off from my family and the man I love—”
“God’s bones, there’s another man? That’s what’s been holding ye back? Ye’re in love with someone in yer own time?”
Tears welled again and she couldn’t keep them from spilling down her cheeks. “Nay,” her voice broke on a sob. It was as if that sob broke the dam because she could no longer contain her sorrow.
Tavish pulled her into his arms. “Oh, my sweet lass, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” He stroked her back and crooned soft comforting things to her.
When her sobs quieted, he said. “Claire, I understand what it’s like to love someone with everything in ye. Ye know I loved someone too. But the reason I couldn’t have her is that I left her in my own time. Even though it’s been many years, I loved her with everything in me. It’s as I told ye when ye first arrived, I didn’t think I could ever love another woman. But then I met ye. And we chased the wind, and walked barefoot by the sea. And I fell in love. I love ye so much, I can’t stand the thought of losing ye.” He tipped her chin up and looked her in the eyes. “But, my darling, if ye have that kind of love waiting for ye in the future, I’ll understand if ye decide to return.”
“Nay, Tavish, it isn’t that at all. I mean it is. He was my whole world. But if we were still together, I’d have never used the pocket watch.”
“He set ye aside?”
Her chin quivered and she fought back tears again. “Nay. He died.”
“Oh, sweetling. I’m so sorry.”
She rested her head on his chest, trying once again to regain control. “But this is what I wanted to tell ye.” She gave a little, sad laugh. “I mean I was going to tell ye as long as ye believed me about the pocket watch—and clearly ye do. But I needed for ye to understand about him too. Ye said ye lost the woman ye loved by coming here years ago. I lost my beloved just over three months ago.”
“What happened?”
“It’s a long story too and I don’t want to sob on ye the entire time I tell it.”
His arms tightened around her for a moment. “Precious lass, I don’t mind. I’m just sorry yer heart aches so.”
She accepted his comfort for a little longer, then she took a deep breath and pulled away from him. “I will tell ye, but give me a few minutes. Tell me yer story first.”
Chapter 20
Tavish could scarcely believe what Claire had told him. Of all the people for him to fall in love with, who could be more perfect? To have a partner for the rest of his life who understood his past was the greatest gift he could imagine. He had never told anyone about soul exchange or who he really was. It was astonishing to learn that Gertrude had given Claire—or technically the girl from the future—the pocket watch. Deep in his heart he knew she was meant for him. She was meant to stay. But she needed to arrive at that decision on her own. Maybe Gertrude had said something to her. Maybe she’d hinted at it.
“Before I start on my story, can I ask ye something? Why did Gertrude give the pocket watch to ye?”
Claire’s brows drew together. “Why? Do ye mean what had Claire done that would result in her death?”
“Aye that too, but did she give it to ye because ye’d lost yer husband?”
“He wasn’t my husband—at least not yet. But, honestly, I’m not completely sure I understand all of the reasons. It had been a terrible summer. When I asked her why she was giving it to me she said I was kind and that I put the needs of others first.” She blushed. “She said something about my soul shining bright, whatever that means. But she went on to say it was just a gift. She gave it to me because she wanted me to have it. There was nothing I needed to learn or do here. I thought it was a way to give me a chance to work through some of my grief. It also happened to be a way to save Claire from something horrible.”
“What could have harmed Claire at the abbey?”
“Nothing. But that was the problem. She had made a dangerous decision. Ye know that Coll gave her the option of coming here or going to her family’s home on Lewis, but he wanted her to leave the abbey.”
“Aye. To experience life.”
“Well, apparently she simply didn’t accept that. She wanted to stay there. It had been her home for so long. And as illogical as it sounds, she decided to run away.”
“How would that have kept her at the abbey?”
“Gertrude said, Claire thought if she just hid in the forest for a little while, her brother would realize she was serious about not wanting to leave and give in.”
He shook his head. “I shudder to ask this, but what would have happened to her?”
“I don’t know exactly. Gertrude only said that it was something very bad and that by exchanging souls, I would save her from a terrible fate. She said making it so Claire died peacefully, asleep in my body, was the only gift she could give the lass because she couldn’t interfere with her free will. She could only take the choice away from her by giving it to me.”
“The poor lass.”
“Aye. I know. Both Coll and the Mother Abbess thought this was the best course. But it’s hard to forget that her father just sent her there, then all but forgot about her for ten years. Bless her, she made it her home and found a way to be happy. I’m sure it seemed to her as if all of that was being ripped away. She was young and scared and made a bad choice. I popped into her body as she was starting to sneak out of her chamber the night before she was to leave. All I had to do was go back to bed.”
“I’m sorry she felt so cornered, but I’m glad ye saved her from suffering.”
“What about ye? Why did Gertrude give ye the watch and why did ye decide to stay?”
He sighed. “I was dying. I had cancer. I literally had nothing to go back to.”
“People fight cancer and live all the time.”
“Sweetling, when I say I was dying, it was happening right away. I was very ill. My immune system was knocked out by chemo. My temperature was going up and my blood pressure was dropping. I was becoming septic.”
“But, ye don’t know—with antibiotics and fluids and stuff—maybe ye would have been able to fight it.”
He shook his head sadly. “Ye know how Gertrude knows things? Well, she didn’t mince words. She told me she was an angel, and that in spite of everything I was dying very soon. She said she had a gift for me.”
“Oh, dear God.”
“I know. As soon as she told me I was dying, the gift didn’t matter much. Frankly, I didn’t really care what it was. When I realized I didn’t have much time left, I just wanted to see my family and my girlfriend one more time. So I asked her if we were talking about days. She said I only had hours, but that I would lose consciousness in the next few minutes. I told her the only gift I wanted was enough time to see my girl just once more.” He blew out a slow breath. “Damn. I haven’t relived this in a long time.”
“I’m sorry, ye don’t have to—”
“Nay, it’s all right. I want ye to know. Gertrude said that while time was her gift, she couldn’t give me any more time in my old life. But she could send my soul to another time and body. She said that I would save other lives and have an impact where I was going but that the choice was mine. I asked one last time if she was sure I wouldn’t be able to hang on and see the people I loved. She was. So I asked her what I’d have to do.”
“That’s not exactly an easy thing to explain.”
He smiled. “Apparently she gave me the Cliff Notes version because time was so short. She said if I wanted to accept the gift she’d put the pocket watch chain around my neck and I’d have to tell it a word. She even suggested one, saying I’d understand why later. Then she said, when I fell asleep, my soul would be exchanged with someone in the distant past and that I’d wake up in their body. She warned me not to say my word again unless I wanted to return to my dying body. She made it clear that the choice was mine but I had to make it immediately. She promised to tell me a bit more as I fell asleep.”
Claire smiled. “So you accepted the watch.”
“I did. Before I said the word, I asked her to tell my sweetheart that I loved her and would miss her.” He smiled. “She said, ‘Good heavens, lad, she knows that.’”
Claire laughed at his imitation of Gertrude’s voice.
“But she promised she’d take care of my girl. So I said my word and closed my eyes while I listened to her. Then she gave me a little information about how the watch worked. She told me that I’d wake in the body of a young boy who was on a path to destruction.”
“You were an adult and you entered a boy’s body?”
He shrugged. “Apparently that doesn’t matter. Anyway, just like ye said about Claire, I would stop whatever was about to happen, simply by entering his body. I was in a lot of pain at the time. I remember worrying about him suffering when he entered my body. But without me having to ask, Gertrude said that when it happened, he’d only be there briefly and I’d already be in a coma, so he wouldn’t feel anything. That’s when she explained about the watch hand advancing one second for each day here and about how the return word worked.”
“But ye weren’t planning to return.”
“Nay, but she said the choice was still mine to make and if for some reason I wanted to return to my own body, I just needed to say the word before the sixty days were up. But as long as I didn’t, I would stay here, in my new body and live out the rest of my life. She said as soon as my own body died, which would only be hours after I left, the little boy’s soul would move on. And she also said I couldn’t stop him from dying by not using the watch. Those events were already set in motion.”
Claire frowned. “That’s the hardest part, I think.”
He nodded. “Aye. So knowing that he wouldn’t suffer and there was nothing I could do to save him, I accepted it. Her gift of time was the chance to live on as someone else and experience a time in history that had always fascinated me. The last thing I remember was opening my eyes, nodding once to let her know I understood, and closing them again. Then I instantly woke up in eight-year-old Tavish Ranald’s body.”
“What had he done?”
“At the time I didn’t know. I was in the woods, taking a leak against a tree that looked like it had been gouged by some animal. When I finished, I listened and followed the sound of voices. I found several men in a small glen, saddling horses. I assumed, rightly, that I was meant to be with them. By the context of their conversation, I figured out that they were on a journey somewhere and had stopped to rest the horses, but were ready to go again. Evidently, I had stepped into the woods to answer nature’s call.”
“That still must have been pretty frightening.”
He chuckled. “It was. They were mounting up. A man, who I now know was my father, gave me a leg up. I was so scared. I had ridden horses some when I was younger but I wasn’t great at it. They set out, and I went with them, bumping along in the saddle just trying to hang on. We rode for a while, but the horse I was riding knew something was wrong.” He gave her a sidelong glance. “He had a wee eejit on his back.”
Claire laughed.
“I guess he’d finally had enough and reared, throwing me. I hit my head and blacked out. When I came to, my father was kneeling beside me, obviously worried. Then this old woman riding a pony showed up and told my father she was a healer and she’d have a look at me. It was Gertrude.”
“Ye’re jesting.”
“I’m not. I was shocked. She whispered for me to be quiet. Then she told my da that head injuries were tricky things and it would be better to stop for the night and make camp. She said she’d sit with me while they took care of everything else and promised to stay with us in order to check me again in the morning to make sure I was safe to travel. So while everyone was busy, she had a chance to tell me more. She told me about the whole language thing and that I was speaking Gaelic. She also told me my name and that we were journeying to Cnocreidh, Clan Matheson’s holding.”
“Ye told me ye trained there.”
“Aye, I did. And Tavish was on his way to begin training.”
“So what fatal decision had a wee lad made?”
“Do ye remember the day at the seaside when the guardsmen told tales about my bold youth?”
“Aye.”
“Well that was Tavish, not me. Those marks on the tree that I saw? They were made by a boar. Tavish intended to look around and see if he could find the boar.” He gave her a wry smile. “It was incredibly dangerous, he knew that, but as previously established, he was willful and very full of himself. Apparently he would have found the boar, not far away and the beast would have gored him.”
“So is that what she meant by saving other lives?”
“Actually, no. Oddly enough, I did that by falling off the horse.”
She looked confused. “What? How could that have saved anyone’s life?”
“This is where things get bizarre.”
She arched a brow at him. “This is where they get bizarre? We passed bizarre several stops ago.”
He laughed. “Aye, I suppose we did, but this is even crazier. If young Tavish had been killed by the boar, his father would have wrapped his son’s body and continued on because they were closer to Cnocreidh than Castle Ranald. After they stopped for the night, they would have been attacked by a band of thieves and some of them, possibly even Laird Ranald, would have been killed.”
“Oh, good heavens!”
“Aye. And the same thing would have happened if I hadn’t been thrown from the horse. In both situations the Ranalds would have simply bee
n in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“But when the horse threw ye, yer da stopped for the night.”
“Exactly we stopped hours earlier than we normally would have and so we missed the encounter with the thieves. We reached Cnocreidh two days later without incident.”
“How did ye explain yer total memory loss?”
“I didn’t have to really. Gertrude told me who the men I was with were. Other than that, training in a new environment was the perfect cover. I was going to a place I’d never been, to live with people I’d never met, it wouldn’t be obvious to them that there was anything wrong. But Gertrude also told my father that I might suffer some memory loss after the head injury. So anything odd I might do would be blamed on that.”
“They said ye changed after going into training, that ye became more serious.”
“Little did they know just how much I changed.”
She frowned. “It still sounds pretty scary to me. After all, ye knew nothing about life here or being a warrior.”
“Actually, I knew a little because it had always interested me. But I was just a wee lad so I didn’t have to know much. I loved it. I missed my family and my girlfriend—I still do—but I am happy otherwise.”
“Ye’ve been here seventeen years?”
“Aye, long enough for it to feel more like home now than my old life. I won’t lie, medieval life is challenging, but I’m a Highlander now.”
She smiled. “Aye, straight out of a romance novel.”
He laughed. “Maybe so. What about ye? Ye said Gertrude simply gave ye the watch as a gift. I guess I didn’t realize it wasn’t always just a gift.”
“Apparently, it isn’t. She said usually there is something a time traveler must do or discover. But aside from keeping Claire safe, I think she gave it to me because, well, like I said, it had been a really bad summer.”
“Because yer boyfriend died?”
“Aye. That was the biggest part of it. But my family kind of disowned me too.”
“What? That’s hard to believe. What could ye have possibly done to deserve that?”
The Gift: The Pocket Watch Chronicles Page 17