"Nh-uuh," Abby said. "He said he'd bring us to get some Sonic for lunch if we wanted."
Taylor was overwhelmed. The last thing she needed was for Ben to be out there making friends with her brothers and sisters. She shook her head. "Abbs, he's trying to be nice because he's a nice guy, but he has to get back to his house."
"Taylor he's our friend too."
She knew this would happen. She knew this would fucking happen. This is exactly what she was trying to avoid.
"I could use some Sonic," Charles said lazily from the couch.
If Taylor had been an animal, she would be a bull with steam coming out of her nose and ears. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that compared to Charles, Ben must have been like a superhero to those kids.
Taylor made herself take a second and then a third deep breath. She was tempted to take Ben and run for the hills before any further damage could be caused, but she knew it wasn't very often that they could spend time with a guy who wasn't a total loser. She put a hand on Abby's shoulder. "I'll talk to him," she said. The two of them walked out together leaving Jennifer and Charles to their crime show.
She ended up deciding to let him take the kids to grab lunch. Ben could see that she was a little uncomfortable, but he liked the kids and wanted to treat them. Jack called shotgun on their way to the truck, and since Taylor didn’t have the heart to refuse him, she let him sit in the front with Ben. Abby and Alexis got in the very back, and Taylor sat in the middle row with Henry.
Ben talked with Jack the whole way to Sonic. They talked about school mostly, but during the course of the conversation they started talking about Jack learning how to drive and getting his driver's license. Ben told Jack he'd take him out sometime and let him drive the truck a little bit, which made Taylor laugh nervously and make a comment about just doing driver's ed.
Ben paid for lunch even though Taylor protested. He said it was him who offered to bring them in the first place and it wouldn't be the gentlemanly thing to do to let her pay. She consented, knowing it was a reasonable argument and Jack needed to learn the same type of manners. They brought the food back to the trailer. Henry begged to start eating in the truck but Taylor absolutely wouldn't hear of it.
She reluctantly ordered a couple of hamburgers for her mom and Charles. It wasn't out of the goodness of her heart—she only did it so they wouldn't try to mooch off the kids' food. She thought of their burgers as hushpuppies…
Back in the olden days, kitchens were built separate from the house in case of fire. They were connected by a covered walkway, but built as a separate structure so that if the kitchen caught on fire, they wouldn't lose the house too. Anyway, the cooks would fry little balls of cornbread to throw at the hungry dogs when they brought dinner to the main house. The handy little tools of distraction were key in getting the dogs to leave them alone on their journey, and became known as hushpuppies.
Taylor brought the bags of food inside and started handing it out to the kids, who all sat around the table. Her mom and Charles were still sitting on the couch no doubt waiting for her to serve them their food. Instead of bringing it into the living room, she set their hushpuppy-hamburgers on the kitchen counter and told them they could come get it. Jennifer came in there and took the bag of burgers from the counter without so much as a thank you.
"Okay, we have to go now kiddos," Taylor said. She'd had all she could stand. They protested, but it was around mouthfuls of food, so it didn't have the same affect.
"Wait, hang on," Henry said. He used a ketchupy hand to dig into the pocket of the athletic shorts he was wearing and pulled out a toy motorcycle. He handed it to Ben.
"What's this?" Ben asked.
"You said you liked it," Henry said.
"I couldn’t take your motorcycle."
"Just borrow it and bring it back next time you come," Henry said. He added a blink that he meant as a wink, letting Ben know he was trying to make a way for him to come back.
Did six-year-olds really think like that?
Ben winked back and put it into his jacket pocket. "I'll play with it and bring it back next time, then."
That whole visit was basically a nightmare for Taylor. She sat in the passenger seat of the truck and stared ahead silently has he backed out and got on the road. Obviously, he picked up on her mood.
"Did I say something wrong?" he asked.
"No, it just puts me in a bad mood that you were there at all."
"What do you mean? I had fun. I thought we all had fun."
"You don't have to act like you enjoyed it. It's disgusting and embarrassing and I'm sorry you had to see it."
He huffed a disbelieving laugh. "Taylor, do you think I care what your mama's house looks like?"
"Of course you care. You might say you don't care or even feel like you don't care right now, but somewhere deep inside, it changed the way you see me. It's not your fault. I would feel differently about a guy if he would bring me to a shit hole like that and say he grew up there."
"You don't know what you're talking about Taylor. I loved your little brothers and sisters. They're really cool kids."
She huffed sarcastically. "Who knows how they're turning out halfway normal. I have no idea. It's certainly not Jennifer. And it's not me. I'm not around enough to offer them any help at all."
Ben could see that she was pissed and he should tread lightly. "I'm sorry if my being there made you uncomfortable," he said. "But I really am glad I went. I enjoyed meeting them—all of them, even your mom and Charles."
Taylor gave him a sweet smile even though she didn't feel like it. He was trying to be nice and she couldn't punish him for that. She stared out the window of his truck with a hopeless feeling like whatever chance she had with him was gone now.
"I figured we'd go back to my place," he said a few minutes later. It was Sunday, and Taylor didn't have anything else to do, so going back to his place sounded like a good option even though she was still moody about him meeting her mom. She thought about it for a few long seconds before she decided she wanted to spend some more time with him bad enough to get over whatever reservations she was having.
"I'm okay with that," she said. "What's Molly got going on?"
"I think she and Nick spent the night at the apartment. Her door was closed when I left, and his car was in the parking lot."
"Do you like him?"
"Who? Nick? Of course. He's a nice guy and he's good to Molly."
"Does it help that his dad's Leroy Logan?"
Ben smiled and shrugged. "It's cool saying my sister's dating Leroy Logan's son," he said. "But if he wasn't good to Molly, I'd still beat his ass no matter who his dad was."
"Have you met him?"
"Nick's dad? Yeah, that was a trip. I took a picture with him even though Molly told me to act like I didn't care who he was when we met."
"Oh, I totally cared when I met him," Taylor said. "Even meeting Cam wasn't that big of a deal compared to how I felt when I met Leroy Logan. I think it's because I grew up with his music."
"When did you meet him?" Ben asked.
"At Jason's one night, but he and Nick's mom are actually trying to hire me to plan a party."
"I thought they were divorced."
"They are."
"What's the party for?"
"Their anniversary."
"Are you serious?"
"No," she said laughing.
"It's something about his career. I think it's like a ka-zillion records sold or something. I haven't worked out the details with her yet, or I would know for sure."
"It's cool that they're hiring you."
"Well not yet, officially. Mostly we've been playing phone tag, but I think I have the job."
"What'd your mom think about you rubbing elbows with all these famous people?"
"Oh, she has no idea."
"Really?"
"No," she said. "They're not ready for that kind of information."
Ben hated that she felt like she
couldn't tell her family what she was doing, but didn't press the subject. They were quiet during the last few minutes of the drive. Neither of them ate lunch at Sonic. Both of them were still full from Waffle House, and decided to skip it. Ben figured he had enough food around the apartment for them to whip up something if they got hungry.
Molly was sitting at the dining room table when Ben and Taylor got to the apartment. She explained that she and Nick had just gotten back from a hike and that he was on the patio talking on the phone.
Ben went into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. He leaned against cabinets as he drank half the glass in one gulp. After a second, he held the glass of water out to Taylor as if to ask if she wanted a sip.
She laughed. "No thank you."
"You want your own?"
"I'm good."
He leaned back and drank what was left. "Come on," he said, still looking at Taylor. He used a cock of the head to indicate that she should follow him. She looked at Molly with a confused expression as she followed him into the bedroom. He stopped at the door and motioned with an arm for her to walk in ahead of him. Taylor went into his bedroom and he closed the door behind them. She turned to face him with a curious expression.
"Can I please kiss you?" he asked. She didn't expect him to say that. He hadn't kissed her the night before at Jason's even though he had ample opportunity, and she certainly didn't feel too kissable now that he'd met her mom and Charles. Her expression reflected her confusion. "You're thinking about it too much," he said, moving closer. He cupped her jaw in his hand. "Just let me do it."
She nodded, but he wasn't really waiting for permission. His lips were on hers before she really even had the chance to answer. Taylor felt her gut clinch the instant their mouths touched. It seemed like forever since the last time they kissed, and the relief and release that came with finally feeling his lips again was immense. She wanted to throw herself into his arms. It took every ounce of self-restraint she had to stand there and kiss him gently when all she wanted was to jump him.
By the sound of his breathing, he was feeling it too. Neither of them gave into whatever urges they had, though. They just stood there and continued the tender kiss even though it was a struggle for them both.
"It's not my fault," Ben said between kisses. "It's your lips. They make me kiss you."
"My lips are totally innocent," she said.
"No they're not. Those lips may be a lot of things, but they're not innocent."
She chose that moment to lick her lower lip. It was an accident. She honestly didn't mean it to be seductive. They were just talking about her lips, and it made her absentmindedly lick it.
"See?"
She smiled. "I didn't mean to do that."
"Oh really?"
She laughed. "Seriously. You were talking about my lips and I just licked them without even thinking about it."
"Do it again."
"What?"
"Do it again." He pulled her into his arms and stared down at her with a challenging smile. He was so gorgeous that she couldn't bring herself to refuse him. She tentatively ran the tip of her tongue along a little section of her lower lip.
"Shit."
"What?"
"You're too fuckin' hot. I can't take it."
"What's that mean?"
He broke contact with her and turned to pace a few steps as he adjusted the crotch of his jeans. "It means I should probably stop kissing you and go take a cold shower."
Chapter 18
As much as Taylor wanted to stay in Ben's bedroom and never come out, she just couldn't let herself. She knew Molly and Nick would make assumptions if they stayed in there too long, and besides, she was still overwhelmed by the trip to her mom's and felt bad about going from that disaster to all worked up at the drop of a hat.
She used his cold shower interlude as a way to break up what was happening with them. "I guess we should, uh, go back in there so they don't wonder."
Ben cocked his head slightly and regarded her through eyes that were narrowed in question. "What's wrong?" he asked sweetly.
Taylor breathed a little self-deprecating laugh to buy a few seconds. How could she explain that if she spent another second in here she'd most probably jump his bones even though it was 2PM on Sunday and they weren't even really a thing? "I was just thinking we'd hang out with everybody," she said. She shrugged. "I guess I'm just in a weird mood because it was so awkward at my mom's."
He closed the distance between them and took her into his arms. She stiffened slightly at first, but quickly relaxed, enjoying the feeling of being held again. Relief flooded her body—the same relief she felt every time he held her.
"It wasn't awkward. Everybody has a story. It's not as bad as you're making it out to be."
"It's pretty bad," she said, looking up at him.
"Not as bad as it could be."
She took a deep breath, wondering how she could change the uncomfortable subject. "It taught me a lot about what I don't want to do with my life."
"See?" He asked, giving her a little squeeze. "It's not all bad."
She giggled. "Glass half full type of thing?"
"Exactly."
"I'm usually the annoying one reminding everyone to see the positive side."
"Well even the reminder needs reminding sometimes."
She was quiet for a few seconds before smiling up at him. "I think the kids really like you a lot. Thanks for hanging out with them while I got a few things done."
"I had fun," he said. He flashed that easy grin just before he lowered his head and placed a quick but careful kiss on her mouth. Right when he was done doing that, he let go of the hold he had on her and turned for the door, grabbing her hand in the process. "Let's go find out what Molly and Nick are up to."
He held her hand all the way out of his bedroom, but let go of it just before they rounded the corner where Nick and Molly would be able to see them. Taylor didn't know if he was doing that for his own sake or for hers but she couldn't help the little stab of disappointment that hit her.
Nick was standing in the kitchen and Molly was sitting on the couch in the living room when they came in. Nick came around the bar to greet Ben and Taylor as soon as he caught sight of them.
"Molly said you guys came in," he said. He crossed to the living room and sat next to Molly on the couch. She cuddled up next to him, looking extremely cozy. Ben went into the living room and sat in the recliner but Taylor had some nervous energy and wasn't ready to sit down just yet.
"I'm gonna grab some water," she said. Ben started to get up, but she saw him and said, "No, no, stay there. I know where everything is."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'll be right there."
"What are y'all doing today?" asked Molly.
"I was gonna ask you the same thing," Ben said.
"What have you been up to all morning?" Molly asked. Taylor's head popped up. Ben couldn't see her, but she was extremely curious about how he would respond.
"We just went to Taylor's mom's," he said.
"Really?" Molly asked. She looked up at Taylor for confirmation, but Taylor was far enough away that she got by with acting like she hadn't heard anything.
"Yeah, she's got four little brothers and sisters. Jack's fifteen, Abby and Alexis are eleven and ten, and you can barely tell them apart, and little Henry's six."
"Why did I have no clue you had all these brothers and sisters?" Molly asked as Taylor entered the room holding her water.
She wanted to dump it on Ben's lap. Was he seriously bringing up her trailer trash family to Leroy Logan's son? Jesus.
"My mom and I are very different," Taylor explained. "The only reason I go over to that house is to see the kids."
"Are they your half-brothers and sisters?" Molly asked. Apparently, she was getting the idea of just how dysfunctional they were.
"Yes." Taylor said with a humorless smile.
"Are they cool kids?" Molly asked.
Taylor
couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the thought of her sweet siblings. "They really are," she said. Then as naturally as she could she looked over at Nick and said, "Your mom and dad are trying to hire me for a party. Thanks for spreading the word."
Nick smiled. "They told me about that. I was happy to pass along your information. I think you'll do a great job."
Taylor had been standing while they talked but during the break in the conversation she shifted her gaze, deciding what section of the couch to choose.
"Come sit right here," Ben said.
Really? Was this the same guy who wouldn't even hold her hand when they walked in the room? Her eyes widened as she stared at him. Her expression clearly asked if he was thinking straight.
"They don't care," he said. He patted his lap. Taylor walked more stiffly then she intended, but her body was in shock, not knowing how to respond to his offer. Sitting on laps was PDA right? She set her glass on the coffee table before perching with very little weight on the edge of the armrest. She thought he might reach out, grab her, and pull her onto his lap—she wished he would do that, but he just let her sit on the armrest. Taylor was extremely uncomfortable perched there, but she played it off, continuing the conversation with as few adjustments as possible.
They talked for the next hour before deciding to go eat a late lunch together. She had been frustrated with him for telling them about her family, but as it sank in, she realized she was actually glad to have it out in the open. She still got along fine with Nick and Molly even after they knew the truth and there was a certain level of relief that went along with that. Relief was something she was getting used to feeling around Ben—it was as if he was helping her, little by little, to drop some of the heavy loads she carried.
Ben kept the touchy-feelyness to a minimum after being half-rejected by her sitting on the arm rather than his lap. He didn't mind pushing her out of her comfort zone—sometimes she needed it, but he knew when to say when and decided not to push her for more PDA than she was comfortable with.
They went to lunch with Molly and Nick at a local bakery not far from Belmont campus and the coffee shop where Taylor worked. They all got sandwiches on amazing, crusty rolls and croissants before choosing from a beautiful assortment of desserts. Taylor compared the scene of them eating this tasty meal to the one of her brothers and sisters eating Sonic. She felt a small pang of regret and maybe guilt thinking about them, but she reminded herself that she would continue to do what she could to help them. She had to begin building her own life or she'd be trapped there forever.
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