She peered through the gloom behind the stairs. The crowds were thinner under this end of the dais, spread among tables and stools. Screens ran across the back wall, jutting out in L shapes. She walked over and looked behind one.
A couple was lying on a couch. Retra saw their legs entwined and their hands moving inside each other’s clothing.
She backed out, shocked.
‘Whatcha doin’, Retra-Seal?’ said a slurry voice, in her ear.
Retra jumped. It was Krista-belle from the kar; one of the White Wings. The girl swayed, as if she was having trouble keeping her balance, and her breath smelt strange, like burnt oranges.
‘Have you seen the girl I was with? Suki?’ Retra asked her.
The girl shook her head and pointed. ‘Jus’ gonna have a little lie down in there. Not feeling so good.’
‘Where’s your … where’s Kero?’
‘Can’t find him.’ She shrugged unhappily and staggered off behind one of the screens.
Retra thought about following her to see if she was all right, then changed her mind. She’d just met Kristabelle; she didn’t need to watch over her. Instead, she walked a circuit of the dance floor looking for Suki, but it was more crowded than before. She ended up back in the same spot in front of the screens.
Her palm was stinging now. She had to leave. Perhaps she could ask Krista-belle to tell Suki that she’d gone back to Vank.
She went over to the screen and knocked.
When there was no answer, she looked behind it. She couldn’t see Krista-belle but a Riper lay on a couch with her back to Retra, her coat and boots a stark outline against the pale covering.
As Retra began to retreat, a movement caught her attention. The glimpse of a frantic hand, fist closed and pumping, beating at the Riper’s back.
Krista-belle’s hand.
Retra knew what that movement meant. She’d used it on the warden, in her dreams, beating at his head as he held her down to inspect her thigh.
She took a few steps closer. Music drowned voices. Shadows cloaked detail. But she saw the side of the Riper’s scarred face clearly enough.
Brand.
She wanted to run away from what was happening but she couldn’t. She knew that frenzied movement. The cold fear in her belly warmed, and then slowly began to boil. She tried to contain the angry welling with Seal discipline; tried to quiet her thoughts.
Calm is my reward.
Calm is my reward.
She’d never shown her anger when her father had whipped her. Or when he’d denied her food as penance. Even when the warden pawed at her thigh, and the softer parts around it, she’d never let her control slip …
Calm is my reward.
Calm is my –
But this time her mantra failed her. The sight of Brand smothering Krista-belle set loose a fury in her that deepened and widened with each breath. She hadn’t been able to stop the warden but she could –
The Riper shifted, crouching over the girl’s exposed breast. Krista-belle’s red hair spilled out as she strained away, face contorted with terror.
Retra ran out into the club, looking for something – anything. She snatched up a stool and returned with it lifted high above her head.
‘Stop!’ she cried.
But the Riper didn’t hear her, or chose not to.
‘Please … stop!’
Nothing. Just Kristabelle’s panic and revulsion, and the Riper’s sickening intent.
Anger raged through Retra. Clutching the stool tightly, she brought it down as hard as she could onto Brand’s back.
The Riper arched back in pained surprise. She rolled off the couch, unnaturally quick and agile, her mouth open, teeth bared.
Retra froze in the grip of her bestial stare.
Freed of Brand’s hold, Krista-belle gave a high-pitched scream that rang above the beat of the music. As Brand stalked towards Retra, Krista-belle scrambled off the couch and ran past them both, out into the club.
Retra turned to follow her but Brand seized her wrist, twisting it.
‘It seems that you will have to do instead, baby bat,’ said the Riper.
The Riper pulled Retra towards the couch with an unnatural strength. Her cruel fingers wrenched Retra’s chin up, exposing her throat. Brand’s face lowered towards hers. ‘I remember you at re-birth, little one. You ran away from me.’ The Riper made a noise of satisfaction.
Retra writhed to escape the nearness of the Riper’s scarred face; the thick, damaged ridges of skin along her cheek and forehead that bespoke something ugly and dire.
‘But not this time,’ Brand whispered.
Pale teeth scraped along Retra’s neck and a camphor scent overwhelmed her. Her lungs filled with it, struggling to find air above the sharp, pervasive odour. Fingers gripped her thighs, up under her dress, forcing her legs apart, and she felt the sharp pain of something puncturing her skin under her jaw line.
Then, without warning, the Riper’s weight was gone.
Retra lifted her head and looked up. The club had gone silent; music dead, lights brighter.
‘Brand?’ Lenoir’s unmistakable voice sounded in Retra’s ear, in her head. ‘What goes on here?’
Brand rolled onto her feet in one movement.
The booth was filled with people: Lenoir, Brand, Test and more Ripers. One of them held Kero around the neck as he made futile efforts to get free. Krista-belle and the White Wings pressed in around and behind them.
‘What are you doing with the girl, Brand?’ Lenoir again.
Brand hunched her leather-clad shoulders and curled her lips in a sneer. ‘Nothing.’
‘You know that it’s forbidden to touch the younglings.’ Lenoir’s voice was quiet but intense as it entered Retra’s mind. She couldn’t drag her eyes from him. This close he was breathtaking; tall and lean, with sleek hair falling below his shoulders. His skin was whiter than Cal’s hair, and his face was made beautiful by the perfect symmetry of his features.
‘You think you need to preach our rules to me, Lenoir?’
‘I think you forgot yourself. That wouldn’t happen again, would it?’
Lenoir’s last two words hung heavily between them.
‘The first girl was a mistake. I was needy,’ Brand allowed. ‘But this one …’ She pointed to Retra. ‘This one attempted to harm me. What would you have me do?’
‘Harm?’ Lenoir looked at Retra, the fallen stool, and Brand. ‘How truly terrifying for you.’
The Ripers around Lenoir didn’t hide their smirks.
Brand bared her teeth again and swept out of the booth, knocking aside the rest of the White Wings who crowded around the edge of the screen, trying to see in. Their cries of protest went unheeded by Lenoir.
He glided closer to Retra, his gaze scalding her. ‘You show courage, little bat, to protect a friend, and foolishness. Never attempt such a thing again. We have ways to manage such an occurrence.’
Part of Retra wanted to disappear beneath his stare, but her anger was still alive and fanning a stubbornness that would not let her submit. ‘Such an occurrence? But I thought you were our Guardians. Our safekeepers.’
‘We are. That’s why I am here and why you are still alive.’ He turned to Kero. ‘This is finished. Take your gang and leave.’
The Riper holding Kero let go and, as quickly as they’d appeared, Lenoir and his Guardians left, leaving Retra alone with the White Wings.
Krista-belle launched herself at Retra straightaway, clutching her tight. ‘Thank you,’ she sobbed.
Retra stood awkwardly in the girl’s grip until Kero pulled his girlfriend back under his arm. He looked upset, his expression caught between anger and distress.
‘Seal Retra?’
Retra nodded. The palm of her hand was so hot now that it burned, and weariness fell across her like a thick blanket.
‘Let me through!’ Another voice penetrated through the quiet group.
Suki pushed her way in to stand next to Retra. Her makeup
had smeared, and one stocking had laddered. ‘What’s up? What’s going on?’ She gave Kero a furious glance. ‘What’ve you done to her?’
‘Nothin’,’ croaked out Kero.
He stepped closer to Retra so that he, Krista-belle, Suki and she were in a tight circle. ‘Seal or not, we owe you for this.’
Retra tried to think of something to say, but her palm felt as if it had caught fire and the room had started to spin. Her only coherent thought fixed on Suki’s concern. No one had shown her that since Joel. Even Mother … Mother had been too scared.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ someone asked.
Suki grabbed her hand and held it, palm up, next to her own. ‘Ret, you’ve gotta rest now. Real quick.’
‘Find me later and we’ll talk,’ said Kero.
But Suki shook her head. ‘Forget later, tough guy. You gotta help me get her back to Vank. Now.’
‘She’s fortunate. The Guardians allow some room for mistakes among the newcomers. If she does this again, though, her time here will be shortened,’ she drew a breath, ‘or snuffed out completely. Petite nuit must be observed.’
Retra recognised Charlonge’s sombre voice without having to open her eyes.
‘I’ll tell her.’ And Suki.
‘Krista-belle, you should know better than to let one of your own miss petite nuit,’ scolded Charlonge.
‘It was Brand’s fault,’ argued Krista-belle. ‘We were at the Drop. Kero was talking to Juice from the Freeks and I felt sick. I went to lie down on one of the couches. You know, behind the wall screens, where couples go to catch some down time. Brand found me. She … she … climbed on me and …’ Krista-belle faltered.
‘Brand? But the Ripers are forbidden to have any physical contact with us. It’s lore. They’re our Guardians.’ Charlonge sounded puzzled.
‘She’s been watching me for a while. I thought it was because I’m getting older. You never really know when it will be your time.’
‘You should go to the Youth Circle and tell them what happened. You must speak up.’
Krista-belle made a rude noise. ‘What’s the point? What would they do? Tell Lenoir? He already knows. He stopped Brand from hurting Retra after she threw the stool.’
‘She threw a stool?’
‘Right at Brand’s back. Smashed it into her.’
Retra sensed Charlonge’s astonishment in the silence that followed.
‘Lenoir said he would protect us. But I’m not so sure, Char.’ Krista-belle’s voice quavered when she eventually spoke. ‘Something’s happening with the Ripers. I mean … among them. I can feel it. Kero says the Freeks have noticed it. He’s going to talk to the Ghosts too. We think something’s going to happen soon. Not something good either.’
‘You’re imagining things.’ Charlonge’s tone was sharper. ‘And such talk can be seen as troublemaking. Speak to the Circle about the incident with Brand, let them deal with it. Otherwise keep your mouth shut. And you too, Suki. You’re too new here to be involved in this kind of thing. You’ll be tainted by it. Now, I have to go and supervise mealtime. Bring her down when she is rested.’
Retra waited until the door closed before she rolled over. Her eyes met Suki’s straightaway. The Stra’ha girl was sitting on a chair close to her. She was wearing a lace shirt and short pants, and chewing her fingernails. Kristabelle was at the foot of the bed, in a simple red velvet dress that set off her hair. They were in a room with a single bed, furnished with only a small table weighed by an untidy pile of old books.
‘We’re in Charlonge’s room,’ said Suki. ‘She said it was best not to draw attention to you.’
‘You feeling better, Retra?’ asked Krista-belle.
Like Suki she’d changed clothes since the club, but her eye shadow was still heavily purple and her lashes thick with paint.
Retra nodded, and levered upward to lean against the heavy bed head. The nubs of iron studs stuck into her back, and she rearranged the pillows to cushion them. Then she looked at her palm. The colour had faded again, leaving only the tattooed outline of the badge.
‘I’m well,’ she reassured them, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks at the unaccustomed attention. ‘Th-thank you for bringing me back here.’
‘Kero and the boys carried you,’ said Krista-belle proudly.
‘You zoned out in the club,’ added Suki. She sounded a little sour. ‘I told them they had to help, seeing as what you did for them.’
But Suki’s flat expression didn’t seem to have an effect on Krista-belle. The red-head jumped up from her seat and clasped Retra’s hand. ‘Kero’s down in the refectory. He wants to talk to you about joining the Wings. You can be one of us.’
Retra stared at her and then at Suki.
Suki shrugged. ‘They said I could too. Because of you.’
Krista-belle’s hand felt warm and sticky against Retra’s skin. ‘I-I don’t know. What do you do?’ Retra asked.
‘Oh,’ she said vaguely, ‘the usual. We go out in groups. Make sure no one gets forgotten and strays onto the Lesser Paths. Mostly, it’s just fun. Hanging out. We look out for each other. That’s the best thing. Though sometimes the boys fight against the other gangs.’
‘What do they fight about?’
She picked at her black-painted fingernails. ‘Stuff. Who’s tougher, I guess.’
Retra didn’t like the sound of it but Suki’s eyes lit up. ‘Fighting?’
Krista-belle tugged Retra’s hand. ‘Come and talk to Kero, please.’
‘Yeah,’ said Suki. ‘Geddup! I’m getting bored here.’
The pair followed Retra down to the neglegere, chatting about music, and Brand, and boys, while she washed and put on the fresh clothes from her locker; black net stockings this time, with a soft, clinging tunic and boots. Retra’s boots on Grave were the walking kind, not high-heeled and running up above her knee. She tried to fold the top back and Suki slapped her hand away.
‘Leave them alone,’ she said. ‘They’re supposed to be like that.’
‘They feel strange,’ she said.
‘Sexy,’ giggled Krista-belle. ‘You’d better watch out.’
Retra wondered if Markes would like them then chided herself for such a shallow thought. Joel was the most important thing in her life. She had to find him and then … and then what? Persuade him to leave Ixion. They would go somewhere else, together. Not Grave, but one of the places that Charlonge had spoken about. ‘I’m ready,’ she said.
The refectory was crowded with newbies and White Wings. A glance at Charlonge standing over by the servery with her hands clasped tight told Retra that the Vank supervisor was tense. She was staring at Kero, who sat with his feet up on a table, talking to a couple of Wings – boys, older than Retra.
Krista-belle took Retra’s hand and led her through the table-maze to her boyfriend. Suki trailed behind them and Retra sensed her reluctance. From what Suki had said, she was used to fighting, and men kept to their place in her province. Here, things were different.
‘Kero, look!’ said Krista-belle. She pulled Retra forward. ‘She’s okay.’
Kero nodded at one of the empty chairs. ‘Siddown, girls.’
Retra perched on the edge of a chair, uncomfortable with the attention the whole refectory was giving them, including Charlonge.
There was a moment of awkward silence before Kero mumbled, ‘Glad you’re okay.’
‘Thank you,’ she answered.
‘So … like I said before in the club … what you did for Krissie was … well … ballsy. Normally we don’t take Seals in the Wings but you can join us if you want.’ He flicked a glance to Suki, who was standing behind Retra. ‘Her too.’
‘Don’t do me any favours,’ said Suki, sulkily.
Kero shrugged. ‘Suit yourself.’
Retra practised her answer in her head a couple of times before she spoke. She wanted her voice steady and Kero made her nervous. She knew her expression would be calm, at least. Seals knew how to do that.
/> ‘Your offer is kind but I don’t want to join anyone. There is something, though …’ She hesitated. ‘Can we talk about it … alone?’
Kero slid his feet down and sprawled forwards, elbows on the table. ‘Go mingle, lads,’ he told the other guys.
His gangers got up and left, making rude signs to him behind their hands, so the girls couldn’t see, as they walked away. Kero laughed.
Krista-belle sat down next to him, but Suki stayed where she was, behind Retra’s shoulder, hands on hips.
‘Spit it out,’ said Kero.
‘I’m looking for someone called Joel. He’s tall and thin with brown hair. He came here nearly a year ago.’
Krista-belle clapped her hands. ‘You’re in love! Like me and Kero!’
‘Krissie,’ growled Kero in warning.
Krista-belle licked her lips and made a kissing noise.
Kero gave her a fierce frown but Krista-belle just kept on grinning.
Retra could feel Suki trembling behind her. She glanced over her shoulder. The girl was trying not to laugh.
‘He’s not my b-boyfriend,’ said Retra. ‘But I want to … I must find him.’
Kero chewed his lip for a moment. ‘There’re more than a thousand of us on Ixion. Chance is he’s changed his name. Most do. Might not look the same anymore, either. He might have even been withdrawn. Happens all the time.’
‘No!’ Retra reared up from her chair.
‘Whoa. Settle,’ said Kero, tilting back in his seat. ‘Can you tell me anything else about him?’
Retra took a breath and thought for a moment. ‘He speaks his mind. He’s not afraid. Not like most Seals.’ Not like me. Unbidden tears stung the back of her eyes. I must not cry. Not in front of these people.
If Kero saw her emotion, he didn’t react.
Krista-belle clasped her hand again. ‘You’re plenty strong-willed,’ she said. ‘You smacked out a Riper to help me. Most of the guys on Ixion wouldn’t have the guts to do that.’
Kero glowered at her this time, but Krista-belle didn’t seem to be the kind of person to worry too much about quelling looks. Her bright eyes were riveted upon Retra with unmistakable admiration and gratitude.
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