by Julie Cross
Thomas looked out at the field again, watching the two little bodies chase a red ball around as it rolled through the grass. “If, and only if Plan A fails completely, we terminate them. We can’t have that kind of power working against us.”
I held in a gasp and glanced at Jean. She nodded solemnly as if she had already accepted this horrific task.
Suddenly the man with the children was walking toward us. He looked Thomas’s age or maybe a couple years younger. He moved past our bench without making eye contact, but as soon as Thomas stood up, I knew this was a planned meeting.
“Follow me,” Thomas said to us.
Minutes later, the four of us were hidden from the public eye by a small forest of trees.
“I thought we agreed, no backup,” the man said, nodding toward me and Jean.
“They aren’t backup, Kevin, just young trainees,” Thomas said casually. “And our definition of trainee is very different from yours. They’ve never picked up a weapon in their lives or learned hand-to-hand combat. They’re time travelers. Two of the originals.”
Originals … that’s what we were going to be called now that cloned time travelers were a part of society.
Kevin looked us over carefully, the disgust in his expression shifting to surprise maybe. It was hard to tell. He seemed to have composure as solid as Thomas’s.
“I have a short message to deliver,” Thomas said. “Dr. Ludwig and I are very impressed with your efforts toward scientific advancements. Even with the limited technology this year has to offer. I came to tell you that the experiment products—”
“Jackson and Courtney,” Kevin said, speaking through his teeth.
“Of course,” Thomas corrected. “Jackson and Courtney are in no danger. And we wish you and your team the best regarding the experiment’s outcome. It’s a brilliant concept, it truly is.”
In that moment, I completely lost my head. I could feel something surfacing inside me as Kevin looked at us, grouping me with them. I couldn’t stand it. Not for one more second. “He’s lying!”
Thomas turned to look at me and so did Jean. “Blake, do you have something you’d like to say?”
“They’re not safe!” I said to Kevin. Blood rushed to my face, flooding my judgment and thought process. “The kids, they’ll never be safe.”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “He knows that, Blake. And besides, it’s not completely true. If the children present no special abilities over time, we won’t have any interest in them at all.”
Of course he knows that. I felt like an idiot right then, trying to do something heroic and it wasn’t even close. They’re on opposite sides. Of course Kevin isn’t going to take Thomas’s message seriously. It’s just a formality. Thomas is formal about everything. And he wanted Kevin to see us—me and Jean. To know that we were real and natural and maybe he wasn’t working for the right side.
As Kevin walked away, leaving the three of us alone in the wooded area, I felt the weight of the entire world on my back. I couldn’t fight it. I’d never win.
“Do you really think they’ll be able to do it?” Jean asked. “The Axelle products? Even the Eyewall Project has suffered casualties.”
“Failure is part of every experiment,” Thomas said. “We made the subjects aware of the dangers of time travel and they made the choice to jump.”
“Casualties? Some of the clones died trying to time-travel?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said right away. “The earlier products, though I’m certain it will still happen now and again.”
Oh God … this is worse than I thought. And what did he mean they made the choice? He told me they follow orders. They were raised to do everything they’re told or basic needs are withheld.
“I want out,” I said to Thomas right away. “I can’t do this … not the mission, not the job. I’ve never been right for this.”
“Blake,” he said. “You’ve been through a lot in the past twenty-four hours. You haven’t even had a chance to grieve the loss of Nora and Grayson. Perhaps we—”
“Grayson!” My stomach flipped upside down as I fought the urge to vomit. “What happened to Grayson?”
Jean chewed on her fingernail, keeping her eyes on the ground. She knew something. And she had kept it from me.
Thomas rested his hands on my shoulders, staring right at me. “Relax. It’s a lot to absorb. Let’s back up and take things one step at a time.”
I could feel my legs trembling beneath me. “Just let me out, please. I’ll never tell anyone about Eyewall or what you’re really doing there. That children are dying…”
Thomas’s eyes turned hard and cold, disappointment filling his expression as his hands dropped from my shoulders. “You’ve lost your head, Blake. You’re not looking at the big picture. Plus, everyone knows you and what you can do. We can’t exactly put you behind a desk without explaining things.”
A small part of me thought maybe Jean would jump in and say she agreed with me and felt the same way, but I knew it wouldn’t happen.
“I’ll hide … let me go to 2002 or 2003 and stay with Lily … I can let you know if anything happens with her and I won’t jump at all,” I pleaded.
Thomas showed a rare sign of distress, rubbing his hands over his face for a few seconds. He glanced at Jean then back at me before taking a deep breath. “I wish this were easier, Blake. I really do.” He pressed something against my neck and the whole world went black.
When I woke up, I was lying on the floor in a living room somewhere. There was a fire in the fireplace beside me. It crackled and popped as the wood shifted. I lifted my head, feeling the grogginess still heavy in my limbs. Jean and Thomas stood in front of a couch, leaning over it slightly. I jumped to my feet when I saw the limp hand hanging over the side.
Jean had latex gloves on and held a huge syringe in one hand. “The boy next?”
“Yes,” Thomas said.
I glanced around the room, trying to figure out who the people who lived in this house were. Then I saw her … on the mantel … a photograph.
Lily.
This was her house.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
Thomas touched the body on the couch. I leaned over and could now see it was two bodies. Both Professor Kendricks. Curled up together. Blue lips and faces. No rise and fall from either chest.
They were dead.
Thomas narrowed his eyes at me. “First it’s them, next it’s her. Unless you can find your focus again and never go near this subject in any year.”
“Oh God, Lily,” I muttered, then glanced up at the steps. “Carson! Not Carson.”
Lily’s much younger brother. The baby her parents never thought they could have. She adored him. Half of our conversations revolved around funny stories about Carson as a toddler, Carson in preschool.
I dove past Thomas and took off for the stairs, flying up them two at a time. Jean stood next to the bed in Carson’s room. The sleeping boy looked older than preschool, maybe eight or nine years old.
“Stop!” I shouted at her. “Please, don’t do this. Jean, it’s wrong. You know it’s wrong.”
Thomas calmly stepped behind me, pressing something into my back. I felt a shock of electricity go through my body and then complete paralysis. I knew what he had done and it was only temporary. Law-enforcement officers used these devices in my present.
I was completely powerless as I watched the little boy sit up, awakened by the commotion. His wide blue eyes froze on me and his mouth barely had time to form an O as he started to scream.
“Jean!” Thomas commanded.
Don’t do it, please don’t do it.
Her hands shook as she raised them. Her eyes glossed over and a tear trickled down her cheek when she stabbed the needle into Carson’s neck.
His eyes rolled up in the back of his head and he slumped over. No tears could form in my eyes while paralyzed, but inside I was breaking into a million pieces. Then Thomas lifted me off the ground, tossing me ov
er his shoulder. The stunner still pressed into my side.
He set me down outside in the frigid air and finally released me from the horrible paralysis. Jean seemed to have pulled herself together, her eyes no longer wet.
“I’m not angry with you, Blake,” Thomas said, standing over me as I tried to pull my knees toward my chest in an effort to get up. “Lots of people make judgment errors as you have, and to be truthful, there isn’t really a right or wrong for you to choose from. Take some time and think about what you’d like to do next. Come find me whenever you decide.”
He grasped Jean’s shoulder and they vanished right in front of me, leaving me alone in this unidentified year.
Headlights edged their way toward the driveway in the dark. I scrambled to my feet and ran to hide behind a nearby tree.
I saw her feet first, then her legs as she climbed out of the car, keys rattling. Lily Kendrick a few years older than I’d ever seen her before. I felt my chest caving in, pain crushing me as I watched her open the door, knowing what she was about to find.
I slid to the ground again, pressing my face against my knees and feeling tears come out so easily even though the last time I could remember crying was six years ago, when I dislocated my shoulder while playing soccer.
Maybe I could warn her or … something.
I did a quick jump back home and then right away jumped again to the day after the last time I had seen fifteen-year-old Lily.
The quick shift from night to late-morning sun blinded me for several seconds and then I could see her, sitting at our usual coffee-shop table. I started to run but then slowed myself, attempting to act normal.
“Lily!”
“Blake,” she said, laughing at my volume.
I took a deep breath and fell into the chair beside her. “Sorry, I thought I’d missed you, got busy this morning.”
The smile faded from her face. “Is something wrong?”
My feet tapped nervously as if a clock were ticking away at my minutes with her, her parents’ and brother’s minutes of life. I jumped to my feet. “I can’t sit … I’m just … can we walk? Do you wanna walk with me?”
I glanced around and saw that her dog wasn’t here today.
“Yeah, okay. Whatever you need.” She stood up and we headed down the sidewalk, toward the park. “What’s up with you today?”
Someone just killed your family.
But I couldn’t say it. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t stop it from happening. Thomas would just pick a new date. I could feel us both hurtling toward this grief-stricken future and I wanted to hold on to her for as long as I could.
I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight. Her cheeks blushed pink but she didn’t pull away. In fact, I got the tiniest smile from her.
My breathing slowed as I forced myself to inhale longer and deeper. “Sorry … I had a bad day. A very bad day. But let’s talk about something else … like anything.”
She laughed nervously. “Um, okay. I’ve decided that Josh is an asshole.”
Josh. The boy who ran by the coffee shop shirtless every day. I hated him. “Good. That’s really good to hear.”
Her eyebrows lifted as she glanced sideways at me.
“It’s good because I like you,” I said, spitting out the words with as much confidence as I could muster.
She smiled down at her shoes. “Yeah, I kinda figured you didn’t hate me considering you hang out with me every day.”
“True,” I said, turning her toward the park and away from the street. “I guess it’s not really a secret.”
“You could tell me why…” she said. “That part is a secret.”
I stopped under the shade of a large maple tree and turned to face her, still keeping our fingers laced together. “I like you because you’d rather be kind than superior.”
Her face turned a deeper shade of pink, but she was brave enough to look up at me. “That’s not completely true. You haven’t really seen my competitive side.”
“You’re not as selfish as me,” I said. “I know that for sure.”
“How are you selfish?” She laced her fingers through my other hand and tugged me closer, removing the gap of space between us.
Heat flowed through my entire body. I leaned in, knowing today would be the day I was finally brave enough to kiss Lily Kendrick.
It was also the last time I’d ever come back here.
CHAPTER TEN
DAY 13. EARLY MORNING
“I don’t believe in God,” Holly said after silence had fallen over us for far too long.
“Me either,” I mumbled, my thoughts still glued to Blake and his memory of watching Kendrick’s family murdered.
“How are we supposed to feel that overwhelming urge to fight Eyewall if we don’t believe in God?” Holly chewed on her lower lip, and when she leaned over me to turn the screen from blue to black again, her hair fell onto my shoulder and I inhaled the scent. “Obviously, that’s what drove Blake to want to inform us. To tell us how unethical the world would become.”
“I knew about Kendrick’s family already,” I said, dropping my gaze to my hands. “She’s the one who found them.”
Holly released a heavy breath. “Damn … I can’t even imagine…” She shook her head, unable to continue. And she didn’t need to finish. I was perfectly capable of filling in the blanks. The thoughts of Lily Kendrick and her family, of the future of the world, weighed so heavily on us, I think we both had sought out a distraction the moment that recording had finished.
One of her legs was practically wedged between mine as she stood, half in front of me, half beside me. If I reached out only six or seven inches, I could grab her waist and pull her onto my lap and—
Stop!
I closed my eyes for a second and then opened them again, holding my breath as I spoke. “Just because … just because we don’t believe in God doesn’t mean we aren’t morally good.”
“Maybe we’re good, but we don’t have that external drive to serve people we don’t know. To fix the world or whatever.”
“I don’t think it’s God. I think it’s guilt.” My gaze was glued to Holly’s waist again, which showed perfectly through the formfitting blue tank top she wore under her sweatshirt. My eyes shot to the white hoodie lying in the corner of the room where she had tossed it twenty minutes ago. Then my gaze followed all the empty floor space we could fill with additional articles of clothing. I swallowed back the images and cleared my throat before pulling myself to a stand. “That’s it, right? We finished all of it? We should probably go back and talk to Blake about all this and…”
My voice trailed off when Holly reached behind her and brushed my hand before grabbing on to it. “It’s this room, isn’t it? Something about the confined space and proximity.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, but I heard the invitation in her voice. She wanted me to move closer. So I did. Just one step and my body was brushing her back.
Maybe Blake’s last memories were so intense neither of us could mentally process them right away. Or maybe it just felt like the end of the world would come even sooner now that we’d heard how awful things would get and this was the time to give in to these impulses.
Holly leaned into me and flipped my hand over so it was palm up and moved her thumb across the center.
Did she really want this? Did she want me to do something? Make a move? I hadn’t told her anything about us. Nothing. But maybe … maybe it was just meant to be.
My free hand snaked around her waist. My nose touched the top of her hair and moved down toward her cheek and then her neck while her thumb continued to move inside my hand. I barely touched my mouth below her ear and I could already feel her pulse racing at a similar speed as mine.
I couldn’t convince myself to do anything more than graze lightly over her skin, like she might crumble to ashes at my feet if I did.
Or beat me to a pulp.
Slowly, she released my hand and pressed more fi
rmly against me before turning around. My pulse pounded from my heart all the way to my feet. Our eyes met for only a second and then I felt her fingers gliding under my T-shirt. Over and over the images of our shirts falling to the ground played in my mind until I realized she was lifting mine over my head. I held my breath as her fingers trailed over the scar from being stitched back together after having my lung uncollapsed.
“Does it hurt?” she whispered, her eyes focused on my chest.
“No.” If it did hurt, I wasn’t feeling it at the moment.
My hands found her waist again and rested there loosely, waiting for the fantasy to be shut down by some outside force. Inch by inch, my fingers crept under the bottom of her shirt. She raised her arms slightly and I took the hint, lifting the tank top over her head. It was still cool in here but the second her skin hit mine, there wasn’t anything to be felt but intense heat.
I tightened my arms around her waist and just like that, we were kissing—hard and intense, like she’d spent half the night dreaming about me the same way I’d spent it dreaming about her. I lifted her off the ground and set her on the counter, avoiding the keyboard.
Maybe all that time Agent Holly and I had spent together, when I was moaning and groaning about my poor broken heart, might have actually been getting to her. In a way that she had skillfully hidden. I hadn’t even considered that possibility.
Until now, anyway.
She kept tugging me closer, eventually wrapping her legs around me, molding our bodies together. And I could hardly grasp a single solid thought other than the realization of how good and perfect and right it felt to kiss Holly.
I was right to doubt myself that night with Stewart. There was no comparison and there never would be.
“Jackson?” She tilted her chin up toward the ceiling, allowing me to kiss the front of her neck. “Do you think … is it possible…?”
“What?” I asked, breathless and brain-fogged.
I had just gained enough focused coordination to finally unhook Holly’s bra and I allowed a few inches of space to come between us while she slid it off her shoulders. “Do you think we’ve been set up here?”