by Leanne Banks
“Other foot,” she told him, determined not to dwell on the fact that her head was inches away from his bare thighs. His musky male scent called to something inside her. Something best denied, she knew, and gave a sigh of relief when she freed his other foot from the jeans.
“There,” she said brightly, and was about to stand, when Brick’s fingers tangled in her hair.
“Lisa,” he said in a night-soft voice.
“What?” She deliberately kept her gaze fastened on the camel-colored carpet.
He tugged at her hair. “Why did you come tonight?”
She closed her eyes against the emotions that swelled inside her. “You were hurt.”
“So.”
Lord help her, at this moment she didn’t know how to fight him, how to fight her own feelings. She bit her lip. “I thought you needed someone.”
“Anyone?” he prompted in that quiet male voice that tugged at her womb.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe anyone.” In a voice that sounded wispy and unsteady to her own ears, she confessed, “Maybe me.”
A charged silence followed. Lisa felt as if there were a wire from Brick’s will to her mind. Her mind bounded between should and shouldn’t until she was utterly compelled to lift her head and meet his gaze. On the way to his eyes, she noticed that he was obviously aroused.
“This is crazy,” he whispered harshly. “My head feels like it’s splitting wide open. The only thing I should want to do is sleep off the pain.” He swallowed audibly. “But seeing you down there, feeling your breath on my legs, and touching your hair…” He shrugged as if he couldn’t explain it.
Lisa nodded because she understood completely. Perhaps it should have seemed that since she kneeled at his feet she was in a subservient role. Strangely enough it wasn’t. For the first time since she’d known him, Brick was physically vulnerable. He’d never even had a cold when they’d been lovers. Now he was allowing her to help him, and Lisa knew that was significant.
She knew this was a rare moment. It made her eyes burn and her heart hammer wildly in her chest. She felt both powerful and humbled at the same time.
Her gaze traveled down his body, and shocking sensual images filled her mind. She experienced an overwhelming urge to press her lips to his rock-hard thigh. She wanted to rub her hair against him. She wanted to do things to him with her mouth that she’d never done before. The power of her desire made her tremble.
Lisa cleared her throat and tried to clear her mind. “You’re hurting,” she reminded him. “You should get back in bed.”
“I don’t want to go to bed by myself, Lisa.” He lifted her hand and held it against his thigh.
His muscles were hard and defined and his skin was so warm beneath her palm. The combination of his inherent power and need was hard to resist when her blood ran like a fever through her veins. Yet the way his thigh trembled beneath her touch was what nearly undid her.
Oh, Lord, she silently begged for strength.
“Brick, I’m trying to do the right thing. Please don’t make it difficult.”
Brick’s eyes smoldered with unspent passion as he allowed her to remove her hand. “Like I said earlier, I’m at your mercy.”
It was one of the most difficult things she’d ever done, but she put a clamp on her imagination and desire. “Sit down,” she whispered. “Let me get you some water.”
Giving her a look that clearly said he wanted far more than water, he lowered himself to the bed. Trapped by his gaze, she slowly rose from her knees.
He crooked his finger for her to come closer.
Lisa shook her head. “No.”
“Just one kiss,” he said. “Just one little good-night kiss.”
Lisa took a deep breath. “No.”
Weariness shaded his face, and he sighed. “I promise we’ll stop after one.”
“You can promise that,” she managed in a husky voice, her gaze sill locked with his as she backed toward the door. “But I can’t.”
For the rest of the night, Lisa was on guard. She woke Brick at appropriate intervals but gingerly kept her distance from him. The next morning in the clear light of day, Lisa decided that caring for Brick and being with him in the middle of the night had brought on some kind of temporary madness. One she vowed would not be repeated even though her stomach fluttered at the intimate look he tossed her way. He was much better this morning, she realized, so he wouldn’t need her hanging around. The I’m-gettin’-under-your-skin-and-stayin’ expression was on his face.
A quiet protective inner voice told Lisa to get out before she started making wishes that couldn’t come true.
After fixing him a light breakfast, she began her goodbyes. “You look as if you’re feeling better now,” she said as she picked up her purse. “If you need anything, just call and—”
“You don’t have to go,” he interrupted, his spoon midway between the bowl and his mouth.
“Oh, yes I do.” This whole situation was too cozy, too appealing. “But, like I said, if you need—”
“Wait a minute.” Brick frowned, putting his spoon down. He stood and hesitated as if undecided. “I want you to have something.” He quickly disappeared down the hall and was back before she could demur. He came to a halt close beside her and handed her a small old box.
Her heart gave an odd little twist. “What is it?” She looked at him quizzically and started to lift the top off.
His hand covered hers. “Open it when you get home.” He seemed both self-conscious and determined at the same time. “You need,” he began, and shrugged as if that wasn’t quite right. “There are—” He raked his hand through his hair and sighed. “Hell. There are some things you want that I can’t give you, Lisa. You deserve to get everything you want.” His gaze was full of honesty, but his mouth was set in a self-derisive, unhappy line. “I wish I could, but I can’t. This is something small, but you said nobody had ever given you one, so I wanted you to have mine.” He squeezed her hand. “And no matter what happens, I want you to keep it.”
Lisa hadn’t a clue what to say after that. She felt as if she’d been sucked into an emotional vacuum. She didn’t know what was in the box, and after what he’d said she wasn’t quite sure it mattered. She swallowed hard over the lump in her throat and scooted away from Brick. She could have kicked herself for being surprised. Suddenly noticing that he was waiting for her response, she nodded for lack of anything else to do. “Well, uh, thank you.” She forced the corners of her lips upward and wondered why she felt so utterly sad. “I’ve got to go. You feel better, okay?”
“Yeah.” He planted his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes. “I appreciate your coming over last night and everything.”
Shrugging, Lisa turned the doorknob behind her and pushed. “Isn’t that what friends are for?”
Brick heard the faintest quiver in her voice and felt a shot of alarm. She wasn’t meeting his gaze. “Hey, I’ll call you later.” He reached for her arm, but she slipped beyond his reach.
At that moment Lisa had the look of a child held together by nerves and a prayer, and Brick had the sinking feeling that he’d screwed up again. “I’ll call you,” he repeated.
She pressed her lips together in a semblance of a sad smile. “Whatever.”
Then she turned and walked away.
An hour later after she’d done a half-dozen things to distract herself from her curiosity, Lisa sat down on her floral couch and pulled the top off the box. For a moment, she simply stared at it. Then she lifted the silver piece of men’s jewelry and held it in her palm. It was cool and heavy with an amethyst stone and was inscribed with the words Beulah County High School, Class of 1980.
Shaking her head, Lisa smiled and slipped the class ring onto her index finger. At another time in her life, she would have put that ring on a chain and worn it around her neck. At another time, she would have felt euphoric and proud to wear it. It would have been enough to hold her forever. Or at least until graduatio
n, she amended wryly.
She rolled it back and forth between her thumb and forefinger. She wondered what had possessed him to give it to her, then struggled with a burning wave of embarrassment as she remembered her foolish confession a few nights earlier. She wondered if he’d ever given it to another girl.
Lisa rolled her eyes at the crazy thought. Was she really jealous over a high school romance Brick may have had?
Lisa stared at the ring and sighed. At another time it would have been enough for her, and Lisa was moved far more than she wanted to admit. But she wanted more than a ring, even if it was a diamond engagement ring, she realized. She wanted a man, marriage and family.
Her throat knotted, and Lisa put the ring back in the box. It was such a little thing that it shouldn’t have affected her so much. She told herself that over and over as the tears fell like warm rain down her cheeks.
The strength of her feelings for Brick frightened her enough that after she was assured he had recovered from the concussion, she made the decision to stop taking his calls.
The following Thursday at the office, Senada handed her an assortment of phone messages. “Two from Brick today,” she said with a disapproving glance. “I thought you two were fini.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that,” Lisa hedged, flipping through her calendar.
“It seems simple to me. You want to get married.” Senada said the word with distaste. “I don’t know why, but I accept that you do. Brick doesn’t, so you dump him and find another man.” Senada’s lips lifted in a cynical smile. “There’s always another man.”
Lisa had often wondered what had made Senada so cynical about men, but her business partner wasn’t inclined to discuss the subject. “It isn’t that easy, Sin. I’ve known Brick for a year now, and since we’ve stopped—dating—” The word still seemed completely inadequate when used to describe their relationship. She sighed. “We’ve become friends. The problem is that it isn’t always easy to separate the new friendship from all those old feelings.”
Senada arched a dark eyebrow. “Isn’t easy for whom?”
Lisa felt her cheeks heat. “It isn’t easy for either of us,” she admitted, remembering the strong emotional and physical pull that always seemed to hover beneath the surface. It threatened to erupt and overwhelm her every time they were together.
“You’re still hot for him.”
Lisa stiffened, feeling as if she’d taken a direct hit. She opened her mouth to deny, deny, deny, but the truth was a thorn in her side. She felt a depressing surge of defeat. “I’m trying not to be,” she finally said in a low voice.
“Oh, chiquita.” Senada shook her head in sympathy. “You want him, but you don’t want to want him. Sounds as if you’re stuck between a brick and a hard place.”
Despite her ongoing frustration, Lisa’s lips twitched at Senada’s twisted version of the old cliché.
Senada picked up the two phone messages from Brick. “He obviously still wants you too. Maybe you can change his mind about getting married.”
“No,” Lisa said immediately, recalling the pain and humiliation she’d experienced the one time she’d confronted him with her need for a family. “I’ve already talked to him about it. It was a horrible experience, and I refuse to do it again. Especially,” she continued, when it appeared that Senada was going to interrupt, “since I know he hasn’t changed his views on marriage. He may have changed in some areas, but not marriage.”
“If he changed his mind about one thing, then—”
“No.” Lisa shook her head. “I felt like I was asking him to marry me. Do you know what it’s like to be turned down for that?”
“No, but I know what it’s like to be turned down for other things,” Senada said thoughtfully. “How many times did I ask the Arts Council if we could do their Winter Ball before they said yes? More importantly, how many times did they say no?”
“At least a dozen,” Lisa admitted, “but it’s not the same thing.”
“I wanted that Arts Council job with a passion.” She flipped her dark hair behind her shoulder. “You’ve got to go after what you want. Pull out all the stops and go for broke. If you want Brick to be the father of your children, you shouldn’t let a little two-letter word stop you.”
That two-letter word held an enormous amount of power, Lisa thought. “I don’t know.”
Senada snorted. “Don’t wimp out.”
Lisa’s temper lit. “It’s not a matter of wimping out, Sin. I’ll admit I’m scared. If things don’t work out, I’m afraid I’ll end up in pieces. If I go for broke and try everything I can think of to get Brick to change his mind about marriage, what happens if he still doesn’t want to?”
Senada hesitated. “That’s a problem. It’s more of a risk for you than it would be for me, because I can’t imagine wanting to marry a man that much.” She shrugged. “If he still didn’t want me, I’d probably tell him to go eat some dynamite.” She gave a melodramatic sigh. “Then I’d check my Rolodex for someone else to comfort me in my hour of need.” Senada made a face and squeezed Lisa’s arm. “Sorry, chiquita. I don’t think I’m helping very much. I think you’re gonna have to roll your own dice on this one.”
And that was the crux of the matter, Lisa realized later. She didn’t want to roll the dice. She didn’t want to wonder what would or could happen. She didn’t want to guess how long he’d stay or when he’d go. She didn’t want to play the game anymore. She wanted a sure thing.
“I’m sorry, Brick,” Senada said, her voice patently insincere. “Lisa can’t take your call right now. Would you like to leave a message?”
Brick swore under his breath. “Why should I leave a message when I know you’re tossing all of them into the circular file?”
“How do you know I’m the one who’s throwing away your messages?”
Her words cut to the very heart of him. “Lisa throws them away?”
“Oh, don’t sound so wounded,” Senada said in disgust. “Lisa’s vulnerable right now. She doesn’t need you bothering her.”
He narrowed his eyes at the cold pain settling in his chest. “Is that what she said? Is that why she hasn’t talked to me in over a week?”
“She’s confused.” Senada paused, and her voice softened. “I’m worried about her. She seems worse today. As if she’s sitting on the edge and…”
His gut clenched. “And what?”
“I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you, Brick. Especially since your intentions aren’t honorable,” she added in a meaningful tone.
“Give me a break, Senada. I’ve been trying to talk to her for almost two weeks. You’re not the only one who cares about Lisa.”
“I’m not hurting her, though.”
Brick looked at the ceiling and counted to ten. Senada’s barbed comment was right on target, but he was wrestling with his own confusion and sense of loss. “You’re probably not going to believe this, but I don’t want to hurt Lisa. I want her to be happy. She’s the most important woman in the world to me. I—”
“Then why don’t you marry her?” she asked bluntly.
Brick’s mind froze. He squeezed his forehead and swallowed hard. “It isn’t that easy.”
Senada gave a heavy sigh. “Lisa says the same thing.”
“Then tell me what you meant when you said she seems worse today.” When Senada remained silent, he ground his back teeth. “Please.”
“It’s really been for the last two days. I don’t know what it is, but she seems like she’s running on nerves. She’s offering to cover extra jobs. She doesn’t sit still for a minute, and she backed over a mailbox this morning. She’s working at being cheerful.”
The last statement was the most telling. Lisa didn’t have to work at being cheerful. She was naturally. His uneasiness grew. “I need to see her. Where’s she working tonight?”
“Absolutely not. What could you do to make her feel better?”
Brick absorbed the veiled insult without
difficulty. His main concern was Lisa. He didn’t really care what Senada thought of him. He was much more absorbed with his compelling need to see Lisa. For Pete’s sake, it had been almost two weeks. “I could hold her,” he simply said.
A long silence followed. He could practically hear Senada’s inner struggle. “I hope I don’t regret this,” she muttered, and told him where Lisa was working.
Brick murmured a quick thanks and got off the phone. He decided to wait until her busiest time had passed and cooled his heels for three excruciating hours. He entered the hotel lobby armed with a bag of fruit-flavored candy in his pocket and a single white rose in his hand.
Minutes later, he found her in the kitchen with the other banquet staff where everything appeared to be winding down. Watching her from the doorway for a moment, he noticed that she looked tired, and as Senada had said, appeared to be running on nerves. She was so intent on her work, she didn’t notice that he’d entered the room.
As Lisa leaned against the counter and scratched some figures on her inventory sheet, something flashed in her peripheral vision. She jerked her head up. A white rose held in a familiar strong hand was extended in front of her. She smelled the scent of the rose and felt Brick’s body heat behind her.
“Surprise,” he said in a low voice.
Her pulse immediately quickened. She studied the rose in silence. The gesture was touching, but it was the man who made her insides tremble. Since she’d gotten the news from her sister two days before, Lisa had felt as if she’d had the wind taken out of her sails. She’d hidden from her anguish with work. But now Brick was there and she suddenly felt vulnerable. She bit her lip and took the rose in her hand. “Thank you,” she managed. “This is definitely a surprise.”
“I wondered how you’ve been doing.”
She closed her eyes and braced herself against a barrage of emotions. “I’ve been busy and I haven’t taken your calls. I’m not sure I can explain, but—”