by L. A. Fiore
Since Doc Cassidy officially retired, I had been solely responsible for three foalings and each time I was in awe. Speckled Egg’s water broke ten minutes ago and even now the little one was coming and in perfect form—the front legs first and the head between them. It was incredible and Speckled Egg, for as uncomfortable as she’d been prior to her water breaking, was pushing like a champ. This foaling was particularly special to me since Speckled Egg was the very first horse I had tended.
“Every time it still amazes me,” Marnie said as she and Garrett stood behind me. I wasn’t doing anything; just there to ensure it all went well.
Jayce and Duncan were there as was Chris, though I could admit I didn’t feel quite at ease with him learning what I had from Abel. I liked it though, how the whole farm took a break to watch the birth of new life. And even with the wonder happening before me, my thoughts detoured to Abel. I’d been home for two days and all I wanted was to go back. After that fantastic moment in his kitchen, we got a shower and watched late night television. I’d fallen asleep and woke to Abel kissing my neck. We made love in the morning before I left. And the sex was phenomenal, but had it only been fantastic sex I wouldn’t have made the trip. And he felt it too. He was going to try to come up in the next week or two. He’d given me a key to his apartment and had encouraged me to come whenever I wanted, preferably naked and in his bed waiting. Cocky bastard.
Speckled Egg gave a loud whinny as her baby completely dropped from her. “It’s a colt.” And he was beautiful, an Appaloosa like his mom, but dark with white spots. “He’s a handsome devil.”
“Yeah, he is,” Garrett said. “Domino.”
“Oh, that’s his name?”
“Yeah, there will be others for the pedigree but for short we’ll call him Domino.”
“It’s a fitting name. I’ll stay, make sure she passes the placenta and that it looks good.”
“I’ll whip up some sandwiches and coffee.” Marnie said as she started from the barn.
“I’ll help. Thanks for being here, Sidney.” Garrett followed her out.
“I have to finish the schedule. Easiest birth yet. You’re good luck, Sidney,” Chris said before he followed Marnie and Garrett.
“So, what do you think?” Jayce said as he pulled up a hay bale and joined me.
“Amazing. I realize it’s done every day, but it’s humbling to witness a creature coming into the world.”
Equally humbling watching as they leave it too, but I wouldn’t allow sad thoughts to invade this beautiful moment.
“Thanksgiving is in a week. I imagine you must do it big here,” I asked, since I’d been tossing around the idea of hosting dinner for anyone who didn’t have plans. Ever since that first Thanksgiving at Jake’s, I never missed one.
“Usually, but Dad’s going to be traveling, checking out some horses. Marnie offered to toss in a turkey, but to have a chance to go to her sister’s and let her do all the cooking, we told her not to bother.”
“You’re welcome to join Rylee and me.”
“Yeah?”
“I never miss Thanksgiving.”
“That would be great, thanks. How was Carly?”
“She looks fantastic and she seems happy. Don’t you agree Duncan?”
“Yeah, she looked more like her old self.”
“It’s about time you two stopped dancing around each other.”
Duncan’s head snapped to his brother’s. “You knew back then too?”
Jayce rolled his eyes at Duncan. “Yeah and she liked you too.” Jayce glanced over at me, “Duncan, despite his military training, is not very observant.”
Twenty-four hours after the birth, Speckled Egg and Domino were both doing well. Domino was galloping hours after his entrance into the world. Most horses were only trotting or cantering at that point, but Domino was impatient. I had just come back from the Hellar place, checking up on them, where I had witnessed firsthand his love of running. I was home now, taking my lunch hour outside on the deck. I’d taken to having lunch at home so I could spend time with Cain. We were establishing a bond and the more time we spent together the stronger that bond grew. The view off the deck was not one I would ever grow tired of. The mountains rising up to the sun, the trees and fields that though were brown in sleep, turned so lush and green in the spring and summer.
Wyoming, I never had any interest in moving out west and yet not only had we, but Rylee and I had found a wonderful job and a home. Even more incredible, she was dancing around love, a first for her, and I had found Abel. What were the odds that I’d move here and find him? A man who I not only enjoyed the company of, but someone who I felt bound to especially after the loss I’d lived through and the difficult adjustment that had followed. It was the sentimental part of me, but I believed that Jake had a hand in our good fortune. He was doing what he always did; he was taking care of me.
Cain had been lying next to me, but he stood and moved to the stairs just as Abel appeared. Surprise and pleasure burned through me as a smile curved my lips because what a sight he made. It had only been three days since I saw him and still I missed him like I would a limb. Seeing it was Abel, Cain settled back down but I was on my feet. “What are you doing here?”
He took the steps two at a time and answered by pulling me into his arms, dipping his head and kissing me senseless.
“I missed you,” he whispered when he finally broke the kiss.
His words left me feeling a bit lightheaded and giddy and being in his arms again added anticipation and excitement to the mix. Realizing that the man drove across the state on a whim because he missed me had another emotion moving through me. Love.
“That was a long trip to make.” Not that I hadn’t been battling the urge to climb into my car and make the trip myself.
He grinned but there was no denying his sincerity when he said, “I’d drive across the fucking country to see you.”
I’d have slid to the floor in a boneless mess if his arms hadn’t been around me. “I think you’re sweet on me.”
“If you don’t know for sure that I’m sweet on you, I’m clearly not doing it right.”
“I do know.”
He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I know you know. When do you have to get back to the clinic?”
My disappointment was very evident after glancing at my watch. “Soon, actually.”
“I’ll drive you back and after work I’ll take you to dinner.”
“When are you going home?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
In response, my entire body hummed because that meant I had him for the night.
“After dinner, you’re coming back to my place.”
It was like he read my mind. “Yes I am.”
Desire moved over his face and his eyes grew dark like a sapphire. “We should go or you might not make it back to the clinic at all today.”
I so didn’t want to go back to work, but I couldn’t leave Rylee in the lurch. I moved closer, getting up on my tip toes and whispered, “Tonight can’t come fast enough.”
I had thought we’d be dining at the Brass Bull for dinner, but Abel surprised me with dinner at his place. It was cold, but according to Abel it was never too cold to grill up steak and potatoes. We were in the kitchen and as I finished with the salad, Abel poured me a glass of wine and grabbed a beer for himself.
“How’s Carly? Have you seen her?”
“Yeah, the other day. She looks great, a lot like her old self. It’s been hard for her, but she really wants to kick it,” he said as he came to stand at my side, leaning up against the counter next to me.
How I wish I could have said the same about Connor. “I’m so happy she’s finding her way.”
“Doc?”
I looked up from the tomato I was slicing. Abel brushed my hair from my shoulder. There was concern and tenderness in his expression. “You never talk about your brother.”
Even after all these years, anger burned through me thinking about
Connor. “What’s there to say?”
“What was he like?”
It hurt thinking of Connor as the boy and man he had been before the addict he became because I loved that Connor, but I had lost that Connor long before the accident. “He was wonderful. I’d been alone until the Millers took me in at ten. They were completely uninterested in children, but Connor was everything I always wished a brother could be.”
For as cocky as Abel was at times, he studied me now with understanding and what I liked to believe was love in those pale eyes. “What changed that?”
Bitterness burned like acid through my veins, but it wasn’t just Connor that stirred it. I had failed him; I hadn’t been able to reach him, to help him.
“You blame yourself for Connor’s addiction, don’t you?” Even feeling the ugly emotions that the thoughts of Connor evoked, love moved through me that this man knew me so well in so short a time. “Not so much his addiction, but for not being able to help him through it.”
“That’s carrying a burden you have no fucking business carrying.”
“A part of me knows that, but then I remember how lonely I had been, and the staggering disappointment I felt after meeting the Millers. I thought I had eight more years of isolation and loneliness to look forward to until Connor walked into my room with a tray of frozen mac and cheese and soda. He became my family. I met Jake and in part Connor was responsible for that too. He forgot me one day allowing for Jake to roll into my life. But as I healed, found the love and belonging I had always longed for, Connor went the other way. Nothing I did reached him and knowing that I wasn’t enough to help him like he had me, yeah, I blame myself for that.”
“That’s fucking bullshit.”
I couldn’t help the smile because Abel was not one to mince words. “Maybe, but I can’t help the way I feel, especially since it was Connor’s addiction that took Jake’s life. He would never have been in that car on that road with that tractor trailer if not for my brother. And it’s so twisted because Jake is gone, but if he weren’t, I never would have met you. The idea of that hurts me to my very core and still the world lost a beautiful man, I lost a beautiful man and all because my brother lost himself to his addiction and I wasn’t able to save him.”
“At some point, Doc, you have to forgive Connor and yourself.” He touched my chin to keep my gaze on him. “I could blame myself for Carly’s addiction. I knew her the best and I saw her losing her way. I tried to reach her, but she didn’t want to be reached. People can’t be helped if they don’t want to be. I’m not any more responsible for her actions than you were for Connor’s.”
Deep down I knew he was right and still it was hard for me to accept because had Jake not pulled up beside me that first day, he’d still be alive. “Jake would still be here had he never known me. And even knowing I’m not responsible for his death, I have to live with that.”
I honestly couldn’t say what fueled the look that passed over his face, but it was the closest to unsure I’d ever seen Abel look. Before I could ask him about it, he brushed a kiss on my cheek. “I need to check the steaks.”
“Eyes on me,” Abel demanded as his fingers curled into my ass as I moved up and down his cock. “Come on baby, let go.”
And I did. My head fell back and my back arched as the orgasm ripped through me. Abel sat up, curled his arms around me and took my breast into his mouth while his hips ground into me to prolong the pleasure. He’d reached the limit of his control when he flipped us, lifted my hips and started pounding into me. And even being in a state of overwhelming lust, I sensed with each shift of his hips he was staking a claim, trying to reach beyond the physical to something deeper. He had to know he owned me…heart and soul, but I wasn’t able to focus for long because my body was making that climb again, so I gave myself over to both the moment and the man.
Cain and I walked through the field behind the house. The sun was just peeking out over the horizon and there was a chill in the air. It was Thanksgiving and we had a crew coming. I needed to start cooking, but like I did every Thanksgiving, I gave myself the first hour of the day to remember Jake. He lingered in the back of my mind all the time, but every Thanksgiving I took time out to give thanks to him. He’d saved me. I wouldn’t be the person I was now without him. It broke my heart that such a beautiful soul was taken so young, but the more romantic side of me liked to believe he had been an angel from heaven sent to save the lost soul I had been and when his work was done, he had been called home. And even feeling for Abel as I did, Jake would never be forgotten.
“Hey, Sid. We really need to start cooking and by we I mean you if we actually want to eat the food. Plus, Jayce and Abel have offered to do our last minute shopping and since they aren’t likely to offer again until next Thanksgiving, we need to take them up on it,” Rylee called from the deck.
“Okay. I’ll be right there.”
Looking up at the heavens, I couldn’t help the grin. “She’s still a clown.” My smile dimmed as my heart ached. “Thank you, Jake. Thank you for seeing me, for taking a chance on me, for filling all the places in me that were empty. And I’m so sorry. I know you’d be mad knowing there was a part of me that blamed myself for what happened to you and even knowing that, I still do. I love you; I’ll always love you. And Abel, I think you’d have liked him. He’s nothing like you and still he gets me, every part of me. I think maybe you had a hand in sending me here, leading me to the one person you knew would heal the hurt. And he has. I didn’t think that was possible, not after losing you, but he did. So I thank you for him too.”
I wiped at my eyes as Cain nudged my leg. Turning back in the direction of the house, I whispered, “Happy Thanksgiving, Jake. I miss you.”
Maybe I was just being fanciful, but when the wind kicked up and blew gently through the leaves of the trees, I took that as him answering.
Rylee and I were in the kitchen cooking, Abel and Jayce made a run to get more beverages; we were going nonalcoholic since Carly was coming. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was on, the scents of sautéing onions and celery battled with the scents of the turkeys roasting. With the crew we had coming it was going to be tight in our little house, but the more the merrier. I put the cats in my room, since none of them were particularly fond of people. Cain was lying on the floor in the kitchen. Everyone who was coming was someone he’d met, so I wasn’t concerned about his reaction to the crowd.
“Do you think we have enough food?” Rylee asked.
“Two turkeys and double the sides. If they eat all of this food they seriously need to seek help.”
“I think the Hellars and Abel alone could eat it all.”
Rylee probably wasn’t wrong, but we’d manage.
“I’m glad Carly’s coming.” Duncan had picked her up yesterday; she stayed the night at the farm.
“She looks great and watching as she and Duncan danced around each other was adorable.”
“I bet.”
The back door opened to Ichabod, Jeshaiah, Mr. Milburn and Doc Cassidy followed in by Abel and Jayce. Tiny had been invited but he had other plans. What those plans were, Abel didn’t know. Duncan, with a smiling Carly, arrived a few minutes later. For the next few hours people milled around our small house, talking and laughing. It felt good, like home.
“You okay, babe?” Abel’s hands came to rest on my hips as he pulled me back against him.
I was good, still a little tender from earlier, but that was life—the ups, the downs and trying to find happiness in the balance. “Yeah. I love this.”
“Everyone packed in your house like sardines.”
“Tradition.”
He dipped his chin as his thumb turned my face to his. “Didn’t have them growing up, did you?”
“Not until Jake. Something so simple, but it’s important to take the time out from living and just appreciate what you’ve got right in front of you.” I took time out often because I could still remember how it felt to be alone.
Hi
s eyes turned warm as tenderness moved over his features.
“What?”
“Just taking time out to appreciate what I’ve got right in front of me.”
My heart rolled in my chest. Words wouldn’t come, so I answered by kissing him.
Somehow we got everyone around the table we’d rented. It was elbows to elbows with not one inch of available space. Abel stood to give the toast, and to say I was surprised would be fair. He lifted his soda, his eyes on me and I saw understanding burning there. His voice was a bit gruff when he said, “To all those here and those gone. To family.”
Tears filled my eyes because he really did get me, every single part of me. Overwhelmed by him I could only lift my glass in reply.
It was a few days after Thanksgiving and Abel had left earlier, heading back to Cheyenne. It had been hard watching him drive away.
Lauren and Jasper had returned from their vacation and I was eager to hear all about their trip. I settled at the kitchen table to call them.
“Mom, it’s Sidney.”
“Sidney, honey, how are you?”
“I’m good, how are you? How was your trip?”
“Incredible. We ate too much, drank too much, got too much sun and I can not wait to go back. How’s Sheridan?”
“It’s wonderful. Rylee and I hosted Thanksgiving.”
Her voice turned soft. “And how was that?”
“It was crowded, noisy and perfect.”
“Sounds perfect. And how’s work?”
For the next half an hour we talked about the clinic, Rylee, the town, Cain and Sandbar.
“It sounds like you’ve found your niche.”
“I have.” It was harder than I thought it would be, but I wanted to share everything with her and so I took a deep breath before I added, “I’ve met someone.”
Silence followed for a few beats before she said, “I’m so happy to hear that.”
“You are?”
“Moving on with your life includes love, Sidney. And I know how much you loved my son, but you’re still so young. He would want you to find love again. I know you know that.”