by L. A. Fiore
Oh my God.
“And Sammie, he was a sociopath, been killing small animals since he was little. He was just working his way up to murder and with how he’d been harassing you. He had to be stopped.”
I felt like I was in some surreal alternate universe listening as the gentle Mr. Milburn confessed to murdering three people. “You killed them?”
“I had to. I knew of their dirty deeds and I helped them escape their punishment, time and time again, hoping they’d change their ways. They didn’t, had no intention of doing so. I had to make it right.”
As horrible as his confession was, for Belinda to approach him on the anniversary of his wife’s death, to push his buttons on that day of all days, I understood why he snapped. And he wasn’t wrong about Sammie and Owen, I’d have killed the bastard myself if I had had a gun. It was wrong, so very wrong, and yet…
He turned to the sheriff and handed over his gun. “I had to Dawson.”
Sheriff Lenin sounded as if he held the weight of the world on his shoulders when he started reading Mr. Milburn his rights.
I held Abel’s hand, sitting next to his bed in the critical care unit. He’d survived the surgery, but the doctors said he wasn’t out of the woods yet. He was warm, his large palm pressed against mine. Feeling that heat gave me hope.
He was so still and seeing big, strong Abel so still was unnatural. I didn’t even know what I said to him, just wanted him to hear my voice, wanted him to know I was close. Owen was dead. What Mr. Milburn did was wrong, absolutely, but no one was going to miss Owen Madden. And still my heart ached for Mr. Milburn because he’d never see the outside of a jail cell again.
My hand tightened on Abel’s. “That day in the bakery, I felt you before I saw you. I think you felt it too. When you looked in my direction, I had never in my life seen anyone more beautiful. I think I fell a bit in love with you in that moment, even when the feelings you stirred, the intensity of them, scared the shit out of me. And later in the alley, even with your cocky arrogance, something inside me was drawn to you. Every part of me wants, no needs, every part of you, so I’ll sit here as long as you need me to.”
I woke and it took me a minute to realize where I was and then I felt Abel’s hand move in mine. My eyes flew to his; pale blue stared back.
“Abel.”
He squeezed my hand. “Oh my God, Abel. I need to get the doctors.”
His words were as soft as a whisper but as lasting as a brand forever etched on my heart. “I felt you too.”
The Hellar home was packed; it was the only place large enough to house everyone and it looked as if the entire town was here. It was Christmas Eve, not really it was well into February but my friends decided to hold off Christmas until after I got out of the hospital. It had been two months since I’d been shot. When I thought of that day, my fucking father putting two bullets in me all for money, it sickened me to know I shared DNA with that fuck.
Learning about Mr. Milburn had been a shock, shit I was still trying to digest the news that he was a serial killer. Shooting Owen right in front of the police station when he was being hauled in. What he’d done was wrong, but why he had done it, I understood. Owen was an asshole, an even bigger one than I’d thought because he had set up most of the people he’d been blackmailing, like Chris Dearly. The man liked younger women and Owen orchestrated a meeting with one who was too young and then milked him for money to keep quiet. And now Owen was dead. I’d never have him darkening my doorstep. If it made me a monster to be fucking thrilled that he was dead, I was okay with that. And Cooper, he lived with Rylee and Jayce now.
Sidney never stopped watching me. I found myself periodically throughout the day feeling her eyes on me. After the scare with the mountain lion, thinking she’d been killed, and knowing what she’d been through with me had been so much worse, yeah I got it. She didn’t talk about it, what those two days had to have been like for her especially since she’d lost her first husband so violently. A meltdown was coming, I felt it in every part of my being, but all I could do was be there when she broke.
Cain walked over, dropping on his ass right in front of me. Looking into his eyes, ones that were the exact color of my own, was fucking surreal. He hadn’t left my side since I returned from the hospital. He still adored Sidney, no doubt about that, but I had been brought into his inner circle—an extension of her. Sidney had her own Cain and Abel, something she enjoyed saying often.
Tiny settled on the sofa next to me. “Hey man. How you doing?”
“Good. A bit sore but not bad.”
He looked down at his hand, whatever he had to say weighed heavily on him. “I shouldn’t have left that day.”
“Don’t.”
“He wouldn’t have gotten the drop on you if I had been there.”
“There was no way to know he planned on making that play.”
“Still.”
“Tiny. Don’t. My father was a fuck and now he’s dead and I’m not. Let’s move on.”
“She never left your side. Not once. And even knowing all that had to be going through her head, she held it together. You have to wonder if she’s processed it all yet.”
“She hasn’t.”
“So you’re waiting on the storm.”
“Yeah, but we’ll ride it out together.”
“You need anything, give a holler.”
“Will do.”
“Stella needs my help in the kitchen.”
“Doing what?”
“Tasting.”
Lucky bastard.
The hairs on my arms stood on end; a jolt, like electricity, burned through me, which had my eyes seeking out Sidney. She was on the other side of the room in a group with the Thompson brothers, Rylee and Jayce but her focus was on me. It was a look I’d never had from her, one I’d seen a lot in the past two months. Blessed was the only word that came to mind to describe it. And as beautiful a sight as it was, it was just another indication that a storm was brewing. I bent my finger to her and her expression changed; this one I preferred, humor and incredulity. She headed toward me, and watching her body move was always a really fucking nice sight.
“Do you need something?” She asked.
“You.”
Her face went soft as she settled next to me. “You have that.”
Yeah, I fucking did. “Is this a big enough Christmas celebration for you?”
“It’s wonderful. I love how practically the whole town is here. But honestly, I’m looking forward to tomorrow night when it’s just you and me.”
“Amen to that.”
Jasper and Lauren were leaving early in the morning. Sidney and I had both encouraged them to stay, but they’d been here the whole two months helping Sidney care for me, keeping the house going and the animals fed. They were good people. The fact that Jasper hadn’t even hesitated with the ransom money floored me, but during my time in the hospital he had shared that I was Sidney’s family and so I was theirs now too. Good people, really fucking good people.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, Doc.”
“You’re stiff and sore.”
“Yeah, but considering it’s only been two months since I was shot, I’m more than fine.”
Her body tensed and she shuttered her eyes. “Can I get you anything?”
Taking her by the chin, I forced her eyes back on me. “You have to deal with it, Sidney. Whatever is going on in that head of yours, you need to let it go. Maybe not now, but baby, you have to let it go.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re not sleeping, you watch me like a hawk and you avoid the topic of my shooting whenever it comes up. You haven’t dealt with it, you’ve pushed it aside but sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with it.”
She dismissed that; a smile that didn’t reach her eyes curved her lips. “I really am fine, but now I’m going to see if I can help in the kitchen.”
Her lips touched mine and at least i
n that she was being honest…warm, hungry and sweet. “I’ll be back.”
I didn’t know when the storm was coming, but it was definitely coming.
Jasper joined me. “How’s she doing?”
“Not good.”
“I feared that. One thing I’ve learned about Sidney, she handles things in her own way. All you can do is be there for her.”
“I ain’t going anywhere.”
“She loved my son, deeply, but when I see her with you it’s something more. After what she lost, to give herself over so completely, it takes a remarkable man to bring someone back from the emotional edge she’d been on. Lauren and I both worried if she’d ever allow another man in and I’ve got to tell you son, I’m damn glad you’re the man she did.”
That tightness in my chest was back and a lump in the back of my throat made talking hard. “Thank you.”
“Now I have to continue on with my mission.” He said as he rose.
“What’s that?”
“Lauren wants eggnog, very spiked eggnog.”
The storm came in the most unlikely way. Our delayed Christmas morning and Sidney and I were drinking coffee on the sofa. A fire was burning; the tree was lit, a new tree since the other had long ago died. I was contemplating pulling her onto my lap, my cock getting hard at the thought. We hadn’t exchanged gifts, circumstances as they were we didn’t get around to it. Normally, Sidney pressed right up against me, but that morning she kept herself at a bit of a distance. She wasn’t drinking her coffee, which she usually downed her first cup and was onto cup two before I’d even started mine. The animals were scattered around the room, but she barely acknowledged them. Her focus was on the flames dancing up the chimney, her eyes grew bright and one tear rolled down her cheek.
“I didn’t get you a Christmas present.”
“Don’t need one.”
“It’s your first Christmas. You should have a present.”
“I have you. Only present I want.”
Her body jerked, like my words physically hurt her, and then she was up, her mug slamming down hard on the coffee table as she ran from the room.
“Sidney?” I was up after her but she’d already cleared the front door and was running down the drive. She didn’t have on shoes, it was fucking cold outside, but she didn’t seem to notice. Then she just stopped, dropped to her knees and bent her body in half. Her sobs were loud, pained, as if her very soul wept. I scooped her up and she curled into my body like a child, her face burrowed into my neck as her body convulsed with the force of her tears.
I carried her back to the living room, grabbed the blanket she’d bought and insisted we needed, and wrapped her in it, my hold on her never easing.
“Let it out, baby.”
She cried until she physically wore herself out and when she slept, I carried her to bed and stayed with her. All day and into the night, she went from tears to sleep. It was early the following morning when sleep finally claimed me. When I woke, I stretched and reached for Sidney. Her side of the bed was cold. I glanced at the clock and realized I’d only been asleep for two hours. Sitting up, I rubbed my hands over my face. My chest hurt like a bitch and then I grinned. Doc was right. That expression made no fucking sense.
Climbing from bed, I went in search of her. I wondered how she’d be after yesterday. My hope was the cry released it all, that she had finally let it go. Walking into the kitchen, the coffee wasn’t on. There were no mugs sitting out. Cain stood by the door and a glance outside showed that Sidney’s car was gone. I hunted down my phone and called her, but it went straight to voice mail. I called Rylee.
“Hey Abel. I was going to call you. How’s our girl?”
“Is she there?”
“No. What happened?”
Concern churned in my gut, the first pang of fear iced my blood.
“Abel, what happened?”
“She broke down yesterday, cried all day and into the night. She was gone when I woke.”
“I’m guessing you tried calling her.”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe she’s at the clinic. I’ll run over and give you a call.”
“I’ll meet you there.”
I got dressed, found my keys, but that fear was taking root. For Sidney to leave without a word, after yesterday, we weren’t going to find her at the clinic. She left. Just the thought of it hurt worse than the bullets I took to the chest, but I knew it in every part of me. She left me.
I left him. Ran with no destination in mind but to get away. I didn’t get far, couldn’t because leaving him hurt more than almost losing him. I finally got it, sitting in my car on the side of a country road outside of Sheridan. Life wasn’t about longevity; it was about quality. Loss hurt, love hurt more, but even knowing I would lose Jake, I would have done it all the same. And Abel, he was alive; he was here. I hadn’t lost him, but seeing him on the floor of that abandoned shack, his blood staining the old wood haunted me. He had come so close and every time I was at the Roberts’ farm I was forced to remember him lying there so still, forced to remember every feeling from those two wretched days in vivid detail. I’d never find peace with those demons clawing to get out. Reaching for my phone, I called Keith.
“Sidney, people are looking for you.”
My heart twisted, but I had to purge the memory if Abel and I were ever to find peace. “I have a favor to ask.”
Six hours had passed, the longest fucking six hours of my life. Keith called, told me where to find Sidney. She was at the shack where Owen had dumped me. I pulled my bike next to her car and shut off the engine. She was there and the sight of her actually made my fucking knees weak. Her hair was pulled up, she wore gloves and in her hand was a sledgehammer. So focused on her task she didn’t hear me. She was pounding the shit out of the building and every hit I bet was cathartic, releasing the last of the ugly that still haunted her. I fucking got it; I’d be doing the same had the roles been reversed. Keith had stacked a few sledgehammers, so I reached for one. I approached, her head turned, her eyes found me. Tears ran down her face, but she smiled. The sight of it settled in my chest. Without a word, I joined her in beating back her demons.
He had come. I wasn’t sure he would when I asked Keith to call him. He joined me in tearing down the building, giving us back control over a situation we’d had no control over. We hadn’t been at it long when the others started showing up. Rylee and Jayce first before the trickle turned into a wave as our friends and family helped us tear down the last link to Owen Madden and the horror he brought into our lives.
I stood there long after the shack had been reduced to splinters, after everyone had left. Abel stood near, but we hadn’t spoken a word.
I needed to apologize, opened my mouth to do so when he said, “You left.” He sounded so remote, distant.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“Six hours.”
“I shouldn’t have left.”
“Six hours; six fucking hours.”
“Forgive me. I panicked, got scared. You were so still in that hospital and the thought of losing you.”
He moved so fast, his long strides eating the distance between us until I was pressed tight against his chest. “Six hours I walked around without my fucking heart.”
I exhaled on a sob and pressed my face to his chest.
“I get why you left. You’ve been through this before and you almost had to go through it again.”
I looked into his tear filled, pale eyes. “That’s just it. I lost Jake and it tore me apart, but the idea of losing you. I can’t imagine a world without you, know that there is no way I’d ever come back from it.”
“You didn’t lose me.”
“I know and that’s what I realized. I didn’t get far, just outside of town, because it hurt more to leave you.”
His fingers pulled through my hair. “Even if we only get a month, a year, I’d take that over days like the last six hours. Never needed anyone never wanted anyone and then
you walked into my life. And now I can’t imagine living without you. We can’t know tomorrow, but we can sure as fuck live for now.”
“I’m so sorry I left.”
“Don’t do it again.” The seriousness of his tone, the steely determination in his eyes, I knew I’d hurt him.
“Never.”
“Whatever happens, we’re in this together. You opened this world up to me and now you’re stuck. I’m not letting you fucking walk away.”
I ran my finger over his whiskered cheek. “Forgive me.”
“I already have.” He kissed me, sweetly at first before it turned hot, wet and hungry.
I stepped into the bakery, the scents of cinnamon wafting out onto the street. The line was to the door as people happily waited their turn. I felt the air charge as a shiver of awareness moved through me. My eyes moved down the line to the man in the front with the messy bun and beard. His head turned and those pale eyes landed on me. He moved toward me with a graceful, deliberate stride and his focus was unwavering. He moved right up into my personal space. His scent teased my nose and my body ached being so near him. A grin appeared on his mouth, just the slight lifting of his lips on the one side.
“I told you once you could kneel in front of me any time.”
I slapped his arm because his words had taken me completely out of the moment. “Abel!”
He laughed, a rich sound that settled over me in the most wonderful way. He dropped to his knee and my heart stopped beating. He pulled something from his pocket, but his intense gaze never left my face. “I love you Sidney, can’t imagine living a day without you. Marry me, make a life with me.”
My knees went weak, buckled as I dropped to them. I had to touch him, my hands wrapping around his face, my thumb stroking his lip.
“Yes.”
His ring was so Abel. An iron band, worked smooth to the touch and resting atop it a brilliant cut diamond. He slipped it on and all those pieces that had made up my life for so long melted together and like that iron were made stronger.