Tough Girl

by Bonita Van Gerve

  "I like you, Alex, a lot. You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you and tell you how I feel. You drive me fuckin’ crazy, and after kissing me and then not hearing from you… Not even fighting made me this confused," he exclaimed.

  I smiled to msyelf. He likes me? Like, the no-name girl from a small town?

  I had to ask, "But why me?"

  He smiled and cupped my cheek as he softly ran his hand up and down the side of my face.

  "You are beautiful. When you laugh it warms my heart. When you smile it makes me smile. You are not a girl who asks for much or worries what she wears and thinks she’s better than everyone else. You’re like a star in the darkness. You’re my star. I don't want to let you go," he said.

  I gulped. My throat ran dry. It felt so unreal having this big, tough man saying things like that to me.

  "Alex," he whispered, bringing his face closer. He drew his hands through my hair. "Be my girl." He looked as my eyes opened wide. "No jokes. Be mine," he said, smiling down at me.

  "W-what?" I stammered.

  He chuckled, pulling away, but I stopped him by grabbing on his shirt and pulling him back to me. What was I doing?

  I saw him smirk and then he pulled me to him.

  "I’m… afraid," I suddenly let out. He looked at me, confused. I pulled his hands off of me.

  "Eddy hurt me. He made me vulnerable. I don't want to relive that pain again," I explained.

  Ryder nodded. He took my hand in his.

  "I know I can't compare him to you. It isn't fair on you. But my heart’s just started beating again," I continued.

  He smiled and drew me closer. "I know, Alex. I know what he did to you. Not literally, but I know he hurt you. I don't ever want to hurt you, or see you go out my life. If I want you, then I want you to stay and be mine as long as you want."

  He’d made me smile.

  "What do you say?" he asked, softly brushing his hand down my jaw.

  I looked at him. His eyes were an open book. There were no lies. No games. Just me. I could trust him. And he wants you. Only you.

  I pulled him down for a long hard kiss. My back hit the wall and I let out a moan as he ravished my mouth. We were hungry for each other’s kisses. He pulled away slightly.

  "Does that mean yes?" he asked.

  I brought his head down and brushed my lips against his. "Oh hell, yes!" I said and he crashed his lips against mine.

  Chapter twenty

  When I opened my eyes I was greeted with a perfect view. His black hair was mussed from sleep, his soft lips were slightly parted, and his chest moving up and down gently. I never thought I would see the day where Ryder Cane was in my bed. After last night’s kiss I’d invited him to my room like a naughty teenager. But this girl didn't do anything except enjoy being in his arms, talking nonsense, and making jokes.

  I scooted softly closer to his body, liking the way my body fitted perfectly against his. I curled my hand under my head while the other hand explored. I brushed my hand through his hair and ran my fingers down his jaw and over his soft, warm lips and back up to his cheek. To think—he was mine.

  My lips automatically curve up as the reality hit me.

  I was his girl. I was Ryder Cane's girl.

  Me… a nobody.

  I couldn’t stop smiling as his arm around my waist pulled me closer to him. He let out a sigh, his face now inches from mine. I smiled as I remembered how he’d taken off his shirt before he got into bed. It was something I’d always dreamed about doing. I lifted the blanket and sighed again as I saw his sculpted body. I traced my hand down his shoulder, down his chest, and stopped at his abs. I felt him shiver under my touch and when I looked up his eyes were open.

  He had a small smile on his gorgeous face. He placed his hand over mine and brought it up to place a kiss on the back. I scowled as I was still exploring him. He chuckled when he saw my expression.

  "Take that scowl off your face, sweetheart," he said, his voice thick with sleep.

  "I was still busy exploring your sculpted body," I replied.

  He rolled onto his back, his arm holding me against him while my head was rested on his chest. The blankets had moved down, leaving his chest on display. I started tracing patterns down to his abs.

  "I am starting to think you only like me for my body," he said with a laugh.

  I pushed my head up, biting my lip. "It is just a bonus," I replied. I pushed myself up and he looked at me, confused. I climbed on top of him and the frown disappeared. His hands were on my sides. I leaned down and kissed him slowly. I felt his hands moving up and down my back. I pulled my lips away from his and started kissing him on the neck and down to his chest.

  I heard him groan, which set my whole body on fire. He threw me on my back and leaned over me. He smashed his lips against mine and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He deepened the kiss. Our hands explored each other. This was getting way out of control—but I totally loved it.

  He pulled his lips away and started kissing me down my neck and pushed up my shirt. He then placed butterfly kisses on my stomach. My back arched. I felt him smile against my skin. I pulled him back up for a kiss. He rolled off me and we lay side by side, catching our breaths.

  "Damn," I whispered.

  After finally getting our lazy asses out of bed we headed downstairs. I heard Amy talking to someone, and when I came around the corner I saw Josh standing in the kitchen with his bags. They stopped talking once they heard us. Amy's eyes were big and Josh's jaw almost landed on the floor.

  "Oh my god," Amy said. "Did you two…?" she asked.

  "Amy." I sighed. "We just slept. My name is not Amy," I replied, then turned to Josh. "What are you doing here?" I asked, motioning to his bags.

  "Mom kicked me out," he said while running his hand through his hair.

  "Okay, what happened?" I asked and moved to make coffee for Ryder and me. I handed him a cup and sat down on his lap.

  "I told mom about the pregnancy," he said.

  I gaped at him.

  "She totally freaked out and yelled at me. She gave me a day to get out. Dad hasn't even talked to me."

  "It’ll blow over. Mom can't take it if one of her babies is not talking to her." I took a sip from my coffee.

  He nodded. "I disappointed everyone. I wish I could be more like you."

  I choked on my coffee. "W-what?" I wheezed as Ryder softly tapped me on the back.

  "Look at you, Alex. You’ve been Dad's favorite since the day you started to walk. He always supported you with your kickboxing and MMA. He was always there for you. Even when Eddy hurt you, Dad kept on calling and visiting you to make sure you were fine."

  I felt a lump form in my throat. "Mom doesn't approve of me," I said softly. "You are her baby, Josh. That’s why she went off on you. You caught her by surprise. In Mom's eyes, you are everything. I wish Mom could look at me like that."

  "I think we were switched around," Josh said. "While you’re the tough and strong one, I’m the weak and gentle one," he explained.

  "There is nothing gentle about you," I said.

  After I got ready, Ryder gave me a ride to work. He dropped me off and went for training. I was so busy the whole day with orders that I didn't even notice the time. I was getting ready to leave when my mother entered the shop. She looked terrible. It looked as if she’d been crying for days.

  "Mom?" I asked, shocked, and she looked up at me.

  "Can I talk with you?”

  I nodded and ordered coffee and a piece of cake for her.

  She sat a long time, just stirring her coffee. I placed my hand over hers and she looked up at me. Tears were in her eyes. "Josh got a girl pregnant," she said, wiping away a tear.

  "I know, Ma. He arrived at my place this morning," I said.

  She nodded. "My baby's whole life is still ahead of him and now he is going to be a father." She sobbed.

  "Ma, it’s not that bad. Okay
, the whole thing about quitting college and looking for a job… But still he is twenty-one. They are having a baby. It is a new addition to our family." I knew my mother loved children.

  Her eyes suddenly lit up and she wiped away her tears.

  "Maybe it is a girl," I teased and she smiled.

  "Maybe you’re right… Maybe I am over reacting," she said.

  I looked up and saw Ryder leaning against the counter, watching me. I waved him over and my mother raised an eyebrow. When Ryder arrived at the table my mother smiled.

  "Oh, hi, Ryder."

  "Hi, Mrs. Anderson." He sat down next to me and placed a kiss on my cheek.

  My mother smiled. "Are you two…" she asked and I nodded. She clapped her hands in excitement and I looked at Ryder. My mother was already planning our wedding in her head. And he hadn't even told me he loves me.

  Chapter twenty-one

  "Josh!" I heard Amy’s whine and then a knock on the bathroom door. I rolled over to my side and tried to get comfortable. "You have been in there for over an hour!" I heard Amy yell.

  I sighed and pushed myself up. "Amy, just take my bathroom," I said, opening my door.

  "I am so glad I am leaving soon," she grumbled and I raised an eyebrow. "Not from you. From your obnoxious brother," she hissed, hitting the door one more time.

  I went downstairs to make myself some coffee. I heard the bathroom door and then footsteps followed downstairs. "I hope you’ve cleaned up after yourself. I’m not Mom," I said into my cup before taking a sip.

  He rolled his eyes while sitting down. "I did." He tried to reach for my coffee but I grabbed the cup in time.

  "What time do you need to be at college?" I asked.

  "Over an hour."

  I nodded.

  "Are you going to take me?" he asked excitedly.

  "No, Amy is going to," I said sarcastically. His face fell and I smiled in triumph.

  "Have you and Ryder hit the sheets?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

  I raised an eyebrow. "Look what happens when you hit the sheets," I replied, standing up.

  "Are you never going to sleep with the guy?" He sounded shocked.

  I looked at him, bored. "I didn't say that, idiot. And when it happens you will be the last one to know." I placed my cup in the sink and walked off to the bathroom. Once I was ready I gave Josh a lift towards school on my bike. He slipped off the helmet and handed it to me. I noticed a few eyes on us.

  "Thanks. I’ll see you after class," he said.

  I waved and took off. The day was going to be a busy one. I had so many orders coming in, and it wouldn't stop. Once I had some free time I noticed my brother sitting at one of the tables with a girl, a frown on his face. This couldn't be good. He stood up, slamming his fists on the table making her jump, and then he walked out.

  I walked over to the table where she was sitting crying. I handed her a tissue and she thanked me softly.

  "Hilary?" I asked and she nodded.

  "You must be Alex," she said.

  "Yes, I am. I don't want to interfere, but what just happened?"

  She looked out the window, and when she turned to me a tear rolled down her cheek. "He just broke up with me," she said with a sob and put her hand over her mouth.

  "What about the baby?" I asked worriedly. He can't just leave her like this on her own. He needs to take responsibility.

  "That's why he left me," she said and I raised an eyebrow. "I-I lied," she whimpered.

  It felt like all the air was hit from my body. "You what?" I asked and she sobbed. "Why would you do that?" I was confused and shocked at the same time.

  "I didn't want to lose him. I was a nerd, a freak, and he was the most popular guy in college. He noticed me and I didn't want him to forget me," she explained.

  I took a deep breath. "Oh boy," I said and she looked at me with her teary eyes. "Hilary…" I didn't know where to start. "With this, you just lost Josh. My brother was crazy about you. Totally obsessed with you. But doing this is not right. You hurt him because he truly loved you." I took her hands between mine. She let out a sob and my heart broke for her. I stood up and took her into a hug.

  "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt him."

  "I know, I know," I whispered, trying to comfort her. Tears even started to form in my eyes.

  I took Hilary home and then went to look for my brother. Just like me, he loved the ocean. I walked up to the rocks and found him sitting on one. He didn't move when I sat down next to him. I let out a breath and I heard him follow.

  "She lied to me." His voice was breaking. He sounded so devastated. "I can't believe I fell for it," he said with so much pain. "I love her so much, and she did that." He shook his head.

  "I am not defending her and saying it is right what she did, because it wasn't. But I don't think she did it to hurt you. She was afraid of losing you."

  "She’s just like Eddy!" he spat out.

  I shook my head. "Eddy didn't love me. Hilary loves you. Eddy cheated on me. Hilary didn't. There is no comparison. I am not saying you should forgive her, but don't throw her away just yet. A person does not easily forget about heartbreak. It hurts so much you don't know how to take the pain away. And every time, you blame yourself."

  "I was actually getting used to the idea of becoming a father. I even started looking at baby clothes and toys," he said. "I could actually imagine her as a mother, with her beautiful smile, her laugh, and just the sweetness in her."

  I looked down at my hands.

  "She hurt me, Alex. I don't know if I can ever forgive her,” he said.

  I placed my hand on his back. "Just give it time and think about it. But one thing I can say s that she is a good girl. Don't let her slip away just yet. And don't you ever dare compare her to Eddy—she is nothing like him."

  He nodded. He leaned his head on my shoulder and sighed. "I’m glad to have you as my sister."

  I smiled. "Come on, let's go home. I am starving." I stood up.

  "You’re always hungry," he complained as he followed me.

  I was still taking off my shoes at home when I heard laughter in the kitchen. I walked in and found almost my whole family in my kitchen with Ryder. Everyone turned to us and I saw the way Ryder looked at me, as if he’d caught on that something wasn't right. He walked towards me and gave me a hug and led me out of the kitchen.

  "What's wrong?" he asked.

  "It’s just Josh. He is hurting."

  He nodded and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I have something for you." When I raised an eyebrow he smiled at me and dug in his pockets. "I have a match in Miami next weekend"—he showed me two tickets—"and I thought you would like to come with me."

  I smiled as he passed me the tickets. "You really want me to come with you?"

  "Yes. I want you to go with me." He gave me a peck on my lips. I curled my hands behind his neck tugging him down for a long passionate kiss. We heard some throat clearing and pulled slightly away.

  "Hey, this is my house too," I said before my father could say anything.

  "I didn't say anything." He held up his hands in surrender.

  Ryder chuckled, placing a kiss on my cheek and then releasing me. "So, what do you say?" he asked.

  "That would be great." I ginned and he smiled and winked.

  In the end, Josh needed to explain to my parents that Hilary had lied about the baby. My mother actually looked disappointed. Josh looked heartbroken while explaining. Ryder decided to sleep over. While I was making coffee I noticed the back door was open. I took a peek and saw Josh lying on the grass, staring at the stars.

  "Josh?" I asked and he looked up.

  "Oh hey," he said and waved me over.

  I lay down next to him. "When did we do this last?"

  He chuckled. "Before you left for college."

  "I can still remember. My ankle was wrapped in a bandage and you still pushed me out and helped me on the grass," I said a
nd he chuckled.

  "What did Mom say?" I asked.

  He sighed. "She apologized and said I should come home."

  I nodded. "Well, Amy would like that idea."

  He laughed sarcastically. "Are you getting your ankle fixed?" he asked.

  I lay there thinking about it. "I don't know. It gives me trouble when I exercise, and I can't jog properly anymore," I said.

  He nodded. "I honestly think you should."

  I pushed myself up and noticed Ryder leaning against the door, already dressed for bed. "G’night, Josh," I said, walking towards Ryder.

  "Just be quiet, eh?" he yelled.

  I rolled my eyes as Ryder chuckled. "Is he going to be alright?" Ryder asked when we were lying together in bed.

  "I hope so," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder and letting out a yawn.

  He smiled and pulled me closer to him. "He’ll get through this. If he loves her truly, things will sort themselves out."

  Chapter twenty-two

  The sand between my toes, the sun gazing on my skin, and the muscular hand guiding me down to the sea… I smiled at Ryder and kicked the water, splashing him.

  He let out a chuckle and picked me up in his arms. He fell into the water still holding me. The waves crashed over us, but not once did he let me go. My face was nuzzled in his neck, shielding myself from the water.

  He stood up with me still in his arms and then let me down. His hands grazed over my butt and I smiled. He winked at me, making me burst out laughing. I dived into a wave, splashing him in the process. He grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me towards him. He caught me around the waist, pulling me up effortlessly, and threw me back into the waves.

  I surfaced and yelped as my top came loose. "Ryder!" I whined and then his eyes found my hands. I saw his eyes darkened and I rolled my eyes. "Not that, Ryder. Keep your head out of the gutter."

  He chuckled as he waded towards me. I turned around so he could fix my top. Every time his fingers brushed against my back… I shivered.

  He turned me around and took me into his arms. He placed his hands on the side of my face, crashing his lips against mine. I let out a moan. It felt as if my body had melted against his. He pulled away, smiling down at me. We began walking out hand in hand.