by K. L. Ramsey
She wiped the fresh tears from her face and slumped down into his favorite leather chair, inhaling his scent. She pulled a blanket over herself and stared into the fire.
“Where are you Tag?” At the sound of her own voice cracking, she broke down sobbing.
The winds howled on around the cabin as she cried herself into a fitful, restless sleep. Instead of dreaming about Tag making love to her, she dreamt of him being out of reach. He was with her parents and she was screaming his name, trying to get to him. She woke up to a cold, dark, empty cabin and one missed call from Aaron. She dialed his number and held her breath, ready for the bad news that she knew was coming.
***
Tag was relieved that the storm had just about stopped by daybreak. He and Torren had taken turns sleeping through the night, although he felt like he’d only got about five minutes. They needed to get the kid to safety and then find the rest of the team.
He pulled out his cell phone and found that it had died. Torren checked his and found the same. Tag tried to reach Aaron by radio but got only static feedback. He knew that the storm had probably taken out the power, even in town. Spring snows were always wet and heavy. It would be some time before he could get anyone on the radio and he wasn’t about to sit around and wait. Between him and Torren, he was sure they could get the kid down the mountain to safety. He would then head back out to help find the rest of his missing team. He’d send word to Piper to let her know that he was alright. He knew that she was probably scared to death, but he also knew he would make it up to her. Right now, he needed to focus on getting everyone home safely, then he could concentrate on making it up to Piper.
***
Piper didn’t know if she felt relief or panic when Aaron called to tell her that they were sending the team back out at daybreak—she’d been worried that the next call from him was going to be bad news. A part of her was thankful that she and Tag had no television up at the cabin. He’d told her that they’d never had one there and she was happy to keep that tradition. It gave her and Tag more time together, as if they were living in their own little world. She had the radio if she needed to reach anyone and her phone still had a charge. Other than that, she couldn’t bear to hear any news until Tag was home safe.
She spent the morning cleaning her already clean home. She showered and dressed quickly, so as not to miss a call from Aaron or even Tag. Aaron had assured her that it was totally normal that they would have no signal during the storm. He even told her that “no news was good news.” She knew that he meant well, but it was still hard to listen to him be optimistic. She needed to hear that Tag might not be okay, because that was the truth. Life had taught her that bad things can and do happen. It had happened to her before she was old enough to know about what evil lurked in the world. She hoped for the best but prepared herself for the worst. Sadly, it was just how she lived her life.
She decided to try to catch up on some reading and found a good romance on her Kindle. She started the first chapter and jumped when her cell phone buzzed on the coffee table.
“Hello!” She shouted into the phone without checking the caller ID.
“Piper?” Tag’s voice sounded so far away. She wanted to scream, jump up and down and cheer. But she sat as still as possible, trying to hear him through their weak signal.
“Tag,” she whispered. She cleared her throat, needing to find her voice. “Can you hear me?”
“Yeah, honey. It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“You too, I thought—”
Her voice cracked, and she couldn’t help her sob.
“I know Pipe, but I’m fine. So is Torren. We have to go back out though. We lost three SAR team members while searching for the kid. I can’t leave them out there.” Tag sounded so tired, she ached to wrap her arms around him.
“Please don’t go back out Tag. Just come home, please.” She knew she sounded desperate, but she didn’t care.
“Honey, I know that you’re worried, but the storm is pretty much over. Spring snow thaws quickly and by tomorrow everything will be back to normal. Torren and I need to do this. These guys are friends of Aaron’s and we owe them.”
Piper was trying to be open-minded about what Tag was saying, but she couldn’t. She was terrified that he was going to go back up to look for the lost SAR guys and she would end up losing him.
“I know you must think that I’m being unreasonable, Tag, but I can’t just sit here and pretend that I’m okay with all of this. I don’t want you to go back up there.” Piper sobbed into her own hand, trying to muffle the sound.
“Piper, please don’t cry. I can’t just leave those three guys up there; they stayed behind to help me find Torren. I need to do this. You stay put at the cabin. The roads are still bad and going into town won’t be safe. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Tag—”
She wanted to scream at him, lose her temper, demand that he had to come back. But he was gone. He’d ended the call and left her sitting in the middle of the cabin, fuming that he discounted her feelings so easily.
She stormed into their bedroom and pulled down her overnight bag. If Tag was going to do what he wanted, then so was she. She would find a way to get back into town and open her store. She could stay at her old house with Lorna. Piper had convinced her to give up her rental apartment and live at the house. It made her feel better knowing that her aunt didn’t have to worry about paying rent every month and Piper’s old home wouldn’t be sitting empty.
She threw a few days’ clothes into the bag and pulled on her coat and boots. Her car was going to give her some trouble, but she knew that if she took it slowly she would make it down the mountain. She couldn’t sit around the empty cabin and wait for Tag. He would come home to find that she was gone, and wouldn’t that serve him right? If they were going to be able to move forward in this relationship, she was going to have to find her backbone and Tag was going to have to consider her feelings. They’d work on it, just not today. Tomorrow—yeah, tomorrow they could work on everything. Today, she just wanted to get into town in one piece and work until her body was bone tired and her mind didn’t have the energy to think about all the worst-case scenarios that had played through her thoughts over the past twenty-four hours. Tomorrow she would face Tag and discuss ground rules and promises.
Chapter Sixteen
Tag saw Piper’s face as she rounded the corner and came into view of his store’s front windows. He’d spent the last day searching for the three missing Search and Rescue members. He hadn’t been home in almost two days and had slept mere hours since he’d left Piper. He was dog tired and ready for bed. Bed with Piper sounded like an even better plan. But from the expression on her face, it didn’t look like that was going to happen.
She stormed into his store, ignoring the customers that were looking at the fishing lures, and found Tag behind the register.
“Hey, honey.” Tag reached for her, but she swatted him away. He knew that she was mad that he’d gone out to assist Search and Rescue, but this was a new level of angry. “Okay, let’s have it.” He braced himself for Piper’s onslaught of anger but was met with her tears. Hell, anger he could handle, but tears were a whole other subject.
“Damn it, Tag, you were gone for almost two days. Why would you do that to me? I thought you were hurt, or worse.” She covered her eyes with her hands and sobbed. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss away all her fears, but she wouldn’t have it. She shoved his hands away with a harsh slap.
“No! Don’t touch me,” she shouted. Torren made his way from the back room, obviously hearing Piper.
“Listen, guys, I’m not going to pretend to know what’s going on here, but how about you two take this to the back?” Torren gave Tag a sympathetic look.
“We don’t have to take this to the back.”
Piper had stopped sobbing and seemed more in control. Her mask was back in place and Tag felt a chill run up his spine. Piper had put her walls back up an
d she wasn’t going to let him tear them down easily.
“I’m leaving.”
She swung around to go but Tag grabbed her arm, stopping her.
“Let go of me, Tag. I said that I am leaving.”
He had never seen Piper so angry. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to reach her.
“Piper, don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.” He pulled her out the front doors of the store, afraid to let go of her for fear that she would run.
She barked out a laugh. “I’m not the one shutting anyone out, Tag. You made me a promise, one you should have never made. You told me that you weren’t going anywhere. That we would be together. You promised me and then you went off and did something dangerous. Something that could have gotten you killed. How would you have kept your promise then, Tag?”
He could see the hurt in her eyes—all her fears were shining through. She was afraid that he was going to leave her, the way her parents had. He knew that being with Piper meant walking a fine line between grief and happiness. He just hadn’t realized how fine a line it was until now. Him going up on the mountain to rescue some punk kids had scared her. It had taken away her tightly-held control. She had lost everyone she loved to fate and here he was tempting it himself. Tag closed his eyes and groaned at his own stupidity.
“Honey, I know that I promised you that I wasn’t going anywhere, and I meant it. If it is within my power to stay with you, I will. But I can’t control life and death, no one can. Not even you, Piper.”
He let go of her arm and took hold of both of her hands. He needed to reach her, to make her understand that he was promising her forever, as long as his forever with her would last.
Piper shook her head, trying to pull her hands free from his.
“He promised they would be right back. He said that it would only take a minute. But they never came back. He lied, and you lied too.”
Tag knew exactly what Piper was talking about. He’d heard those same promises from his father when he dumped him and Torren off at Dane’s. He’d promised both of them that he just needed some time to sort everything out. He’d said that he would be back before they could even miss him. He’d lied too, but his father had made the choice to break his promise. Piper’s father had had his choice taken away from him.
“Piper, your father didn’t lie to you and neither have I. Your dad couldn’t keep his promise. I’m sure that he wanted to, more than anything. Don’t you think that your parents would have given anything to have not walked into that store? They wanted to get on that plane and come home with you, but they had their choices taken away from them. You’ve been blaming them for something that wasn’t their fault. Cut them a break, Piper.”
She pulled her hands free from his, not able to look him in the eyes. Tears were streaming freely down her face and she was breaking his heart. He knew her next words before she even said them.
“After you called yesterday to tell me that you were going back up on the mountain, I packed a bag and left the cabin. I didn’t want to stay there without you. I couldn’t spend another night wondering if you were alive or dead. I spent the night before that curled up in your favorite chair, wearing your t-shirt and praying that you would find your way back to me.”
“I have, Pipe. I did.” His hands longed to reach for hers, but he could only let them drop back to his sides.
“I begged you not to go. I told you that I needed you to come home to me, but you chose to do what you wanted to do. You chose to break your promise, Tag.” She shook her head, anger still seething through her body.
“Piper, I explained why I had to do that. I’d do it again too. All three men made it down the mountain because Torren and I could lead the team back. Without our help, everything might not have ended so well. Those men could have lost their lives.” Tag shoved his hands into his pockets, to prevent from reaching out to Piper.
“I stayed in town last night and when I found out that you never made it home, that you’d just got back in, I went back up to the cabin and packed a few more bags.”
Tag could feel his own head shaking. He wanted to scream at her to stop, but he knew that she wouldn’t.
“I can’t stay in a relationship with you and protect my own sanity, Tag. I can’t keep putting myself through so much pain, not if I can help it. We’re done,” she whispered. “I can’t be with someone who takes chances. If you’d have died, I would have died. I can’t do this anymore, Tag. I need something that you can’t promise me. I need a guarantee that you won’t die. I know how crazy that sounds.” Piper ran her hands over her face, wiping away her tears. “I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked with her final words and she turned to leave.
Tag felt panic like he never had before. He had been in hundreds of dangerous situations but had never felt the fear that he currently felt. He couldn’t lose Piper, but right now he wasn’t able to reach her. She was lost to her irrational fear and anger. He did the only thing he knew to do—he stood in the middle of the road and watched his future walk away.
***
Piper knew that New York was her only option right now. Some time away from Harvest Ridge and Tag was what she needed. Then why did it feel so wrong to slink away into the night? After she’d run away from Tag, she took care of a few loose ends and then drove straight to Denver Airport to catch the first flight to New York. Her heart ached with every step closer to her grandmother’s apartment.
Agnes’s lawyer, John Ketchum, met Piper in front of the building to show her into her grandmother’s home. The apartment was cold and dark. Even though it was filled with her grandmother’s things, it felt empty. Piper’s little home might be small in comparison to her grandmother’s penthouse, but at least it felt like a home. Agnes’s place felt like a museum and that made Piper sad for the woman that she never really knew. Why would her grandmother choose to live such an empty, cold life when she could have been surrounded by family? Piper remembered the stories that her parents had told her about Agnes: how cold and distant she was towards Piper’s mother, even how she came to dislike her own son for the choices that he’d made in his life. Her father chose love with her mom, and that was too much for Agnes to bear.
Piper looked around the massive living space, gravitating towards the gothic fireplace mantle that held family pictures. At least, she believed them to be family pictures. Most were of people she had never seen before, dressed in clothing that told her they were from past generations. She stopped in front of a picture of Agnes, appearing to be in her late twenties, holding a baby. The baby, Piper knew, was her father. She had similar pictures of him on her own fireplace mantle. Her pictures did not include a smiling Agnes. She studied her grandmother’s face, seeing a lot of similarities in her own reflection. She never knew how much she looked like her grandmother—the resemblance was almost uncanny. Piper replaced the picture on the mantle and turned to face John as he cleared his throat.
“I was surprised when you called me last night. I didn’t expect you to change your mind after our first conversation.”
He sat on the large sofa, signaling for Piper to sit across from him. He pulled out a stack of papers and set them on the coffee table. Piper felt as though he shouldn’t put anything on Agnes’s perfectly polished table. She was almost afraid to touch anything herself. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that Agnes was gone. That’s why she was here—to decide what to do with her grandmother’s things. She knew that she was using this responsibility to get out of dealing with her feelings for Tag, but she didn’t care. She welcomed the distraction. Not having to think about the way that she’d thrown away the only man that she had ever loved was a blessing in disguise.
The plane ride to New York had given her some time and perspective to realize that not only was she in love with Tag, but that she’d acted like a fool. How could she blame him for living his life and doing his job? Her irrational fears had won, and she lost—everything. She’d spend a few months settling Agnes’ estate and then decide what to
do from there.
Before she left town, she’d closed the shop indefinitely. She didn’t want to push her problems on Lorna. She’d left notes for both Lorna and Sunny, letting them know that she needed some time to figure things out. She’d told Sunny where she could be reached, in case of emergency. She’d also begged her best friend not to tell Tag where she had gone. She knew that her aunt would tell him, for the sake of true love. Lorna was a sucker for romance and happily ever after. But Sunny would keep her secret under the best friend’s oath that they’d sworn to each other when they were both nine. Besides, she wasn’t sure that Tag would try to find her. He’d let her walk away so easily. She imagined that he would take a few days to sulk and then move on.
She wished she could do the same, but she was afraid that she would never find another man like Tag. He’d come into her world and knocked it sideways. She’d fallen for him so easily, so completely. She knew that she was in love with him, but she was too much of a chicken to tell him how she felt. Walking away from him had been the hardest thing that she’d ever done. She knew that she was putting up her walls, not letting him in. Not giving him a chance. She needed to protect herself, her heart. The pain she felt at losing her parents had almost killed her. Losing Tag would have been her end. She couldn’t imagine a world without him in it. If he was alive, she could continue on. But she couldn’t be with him, knowing that he could be taken from her just as her parents had been.