by Vivian Wood
“Why?”
“For, you know … sex.”
“I meant why would I pretend that,” he said with a smile. “You’re cute.”
Lily felt her face grow hot, but she persisted. “Come on, indulge me. I’ve had a rough day.”
“Alright. But first of all, you should know I don’t have beginning-of-the-date moves. I have end-of-the-date moves. I make sure the girl, sorry, you, have had a nice time. Plenty of drinks if you’re into that. Then I move closer.” Cade moved his chair next to hers so quickly and smoothly she barely realized it had happened.
“Round two,” the waitress said, and slid the drinks to them.
Cade didn’t break eye contact with her.
“And I ask for a taste of your drink, like this.” He lowered his voice and looked so deeply into her eyes she thought he could see her deepest secrets. “Can I try your drink?”
Her stomach began to flutter. “Sure, go ahead.”
He tried the fresh spritzer. She watched his throat work as he swallowed.
Enjoy it, she told herself. Just let it be real, just for a moment. Surely there’s no harm in that?
Cade put the drink down and gazed into her eyes. She could sense the fire in him, just below the surface. It matched the flames inside her. His eyes traveled to her lips, which heated up below the smoldering gaze.
She couldn’t move as he moved closer, brought up his hand and ran a thumb along her cheek. As he cupped the back of her head, her lips parted in anticipation.
She already knew what his lips felt like, tasted like. As he kissed her, softly at first, her body responded and it escalated to unprecedented passion.
Lily let out a soft moan and he pulled back.
“Lily,” he said quietly. “I’m into you. Don’t mistake that. But… there are so many reasons why we can’t do this. Elijah, and…” Cade let the words trail off while he moved his chair away.
“It’s not just about you all the time,” she blurted out, irritated. “What if I have my reasons for not wanting you?”
“Good for you, then,” Cade said. He stood up and tossed some cash onto the table. “So, we’re agreed, then?”
Lily crossed her arms and just shook her head. If she spoke, she was afraid she’d burst into tears.
Cade walked toward the parking lot and never once looked back.
All I do these days is watch this guy’s back as he walks away, she thought.
8
Lily
“Hey, Jean-Michel, you want to go hiking at Silver Falls?” Lily asked as he rushed past her toward the kitchen.
He wrinkled his nose. “I do not do outdoors. Why you don’t ask your friend, that American girl with the French name?”
“Renee’s still in Italy,” she said with a sigh. “Not only is she my only hiking friend, she’s my only friend. How depressing is that?”
“When you hiking?” he asked.
“Well, I was hoping you’d go with me since we’re closing early today.”
Jean-Michel shrugged. “Those boys always in here talking with you? Go ask them.”
Actually not a bad idea, she thought.
Aiden or Elijah might be up for it. She left Jean-Michel to finish closing and slid into her little Mercedes. In the backseat, her backpack was already stuffed with hiking clothes.
Any day off that was clear and sunny in an Oregon spring demanded to be taken advantage of.
Lily smiled as she pulled up to her brothers’ apartment and saw that Elijah’s truck was there. Of her two brothers, he was the most likely to say yes.
“Hey!” she called as she let herself in with the spare key. “Elijah, you want to go to Silver Falls?”
Elijah emerged from the hallway in his firefighting t-shirt.
“Damn, I wish,” he said. “My shift’s about to start. Heading out. Maybe Cade wants to go.”
“Cade?” she asked.
“Yeah?” She heard the hallway bathroom door open. Lily blushed, unaware that he was there.
“Lily wants someone to go hiking with.”
“Oh yeah?” Cade asked. She sensed the shared trepidation in his voice.
“It’s not like he’s being allowed to work,” Elijah reminded Lily. “And he’s been bitching to us nonstop at the station about how bored he is.”
“It’s true,” Cade admitted with a shrug.
“Uh, it’s okay. It was just a random thought. I should probably go home and practice my choux skills, anyway—”
“You two don’t be weird,” Elijah said as he rolled his eyes and slipped on his jacket. “Cade, I know you love to hike. Don’t you even keep your gear in your ride most of the time?”
Cade looked at Lily. “Well, yeah …”
“Then go,” Elijah said. “While the rest of us are stuck at work, make the most of a rare sunny Sunday.”
“I mean, a hike would be good …” Cade said slowly. His eyes searched Lily’s for permission.
“Sure!” she said, aware of how fake her enthusiasm sounded. “Sounds good.”
“Have some fun for me,” Elijah said as he bounded out the front door.
As soon as she couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore, Lily turned to Cade. “Obviously I don’t expect you to go hiking with me,” she said.
“Look, about the other day … I’m sorry. It was my fault. How about we just pretend it didn’t happen?”
“Well … okay …” Lily said as she shifted from foot to foot.
“Seriously. We can be friends, can’t we?”
“Uh, sure?”
“Good. So, your big brother is right. I do have my hiking gear in the trunk of my car. Where were you thinking?”
“Well …” Lily mentally scratched Silver Falls off the list. It was too far of a drive, too long of a hike, and too freaking romantic. “I was thinking of going to Hendricks Park. It’s close,” she added.
“Great. Let me grab my hiking boots and stuff, and we can go.”
“Do you mind driving?” Lily asked.
Cade looked at her, amused. “Sure, no problem. Your car still acting up?”
“Yeah, but it’s also not as nice as yours.”
“Actually, I got a new—”
“I know, Elijah told me. Yesterday, right? A new Mustang?”
“Man, that boy’s got a big mouth. Yeah, a convertible.”
No wonder I didn’t notice his truck in the parking lot.
“What are you doing with the Chevy?”
“Traded it. Not for much, but anything helps.”
She held up her backpack. “Just let me change really quick and we can go.”
Briefly, as she changed in Elijah’s room, she wished she’d brought some cuter hiking gear. Instead, she pulled on the same pair of yoga pants she’d had for four years.
She groaned when she realized which long-sleeved top she had. The cartoon of three burlesque dancers with pasties on their breasts, the fourth holding up macarons and saying, “I thought you said pastries” was cute to her and Jean-Michel.
Probably not anyone else. Lily zipped up her Nike jacket all the way to her throat.
“Ready,” she said, and followed Cade down to the sleek, candy-colored Mustang. As soon as he started the car, Warrant started playing. “I haven’t heard this in forever!” she exclaimed as the hook for “Cherry Pie” began.
“Want me to change it?”
“No, I like it.”
As Cade maneuvered onto the main road, she turned to him. “So… how many girls have you slept with?”
He was clearly startled, but tried not to show it. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been very good at math.”
“But the number is like, a lot? Right?”
“A lot is subjective, don’t you think?” he asked with a wink.
“Okay, like more than one hundred?”
“Why are you asking?” he asked as they pulled up to a red light.
“I dunno. Just making conversation.”
“Is this what you consider
small talk? You know, when you told me you don’t have much of a social life, maybe that’s why. Your conversation skills could use some sprucing up.”
“I think you’re avoiding the question.”
“Damn right I’m avoiding the question!”
“Why? Why does it matter if I know?” she asked.
Cade paused. “You’re right, I guess it doesn’t. So, okay, my answer is a lot.”
“A lot,” she repeated and nodded. “What’s your definition of a lot?”
“Probably similar to yours.”
So at least one hundred, she thought.
What the hell? Are there really over one hundred girls in Salem that he would even be into? I mean, after deducting the ones in relationships and everything.
“But none since… you know. The thing in Montana.”
“Wait,” Lily said. She turned to him. “Seriously? None?”
“Yeah,” Cade said with a nod. “I think… you know, it really fucked me up.”
“But, Montana. That was like, awhile ago.”
Cade looked at her, aware that she was about to start a new interrogation. “How about we change the subject?”
“To what?”
She felt a little embarrassed about pushing him, but she’d wondered about his number for most of her life. And having the answer didn’t feel very validating. Still, she was surprised that she wasn’t jealous.
But did I make the list? she wondered. Do I count?
“Let’s see,” Cade said. “Who do you think looks best from your years in high school?”
Lily laughed.
He’s certainly not very good at smooth conversational shifts. But he was right, she’d pushed him enough.
“Honestly, I don’t really see many people from high school around. I think most of them left.”
“But on Instagram or whatever?”
She shrugged. “I don’t really keep up with social media. I think I have an Instagram. And a Twitter? But I’m never on them.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
For a second, she thought she saw him blush.
“I mean, I don’t remember really seeing you on there much. Not that I really am, either.”
Liar, she thought, but with a smile.
She might not be posting all the time or share anything, but she lurked. It had gotten especially bad right after they’d slept together three years ago.
She’d made an anonymous account to check out his photos, and on Instagram there were scores of girls liking his pictures and commenting.
Lily had slowly stopped her online stalking of him once she’d realized it didn’t do any good. If she wanted that crush to die, she needed to stop feeding it every day. She’d never disabled those accounts, just abandoned them.
“What about you?” she asked. “Who do you think looks best from high school?”
“I don’t know. Kind of like you, I don’t really keep track. You look pretty good,” he said, and gave her a wink.
She shoved him playfully. “I wasn’t fishing.”
“I didn’t think you were. I can tell you who doesn’t look good, though.”
“Who’s that?”
“Mr. Stroh.”
“Oh God, I forgot about him. As if having him in middle school wasn’t bad enough, he had to go and become principal of the freaking high school.”
“I had him for homeroom one year,” Cade recalled. “I felt kind of bad for the guy.”
“Why’s that?”
“All these girls were always talking about how he was checking them out, calling him a pervert and stuff.”
“Do you … do you think he did something? Like, hit on them?” she asked. She’d never had him as a teacher, but didn’t remember any rumors like that.
“I can’t say,” he said with a shrug. “All I know is they never gossiped about him actually doing or saying anything. But you know, who knows. He was kind of weird. With that toupee and all.”
“Yeah, I remember that,” she said. “Well, if he didn’t do anything, that is sad. Teenagers are cruel.”
They pulled into the parking lot and Cade parked next to a car full of kids in South Salem sweaters.
“Speaking of,” he said with a nod.
She smiled at him. “Let’s do this.”
9
Cade
After barely a quarter mile on the trail, he could already feel the sweat as it started to pool at the small of his back.
And it’s not even that hot out, he thought.
But Cade knew what it was—Lily, just a few steps ahead of him. And how her ass swayed in a hypnotic motion. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, and she’d already caught him once.
Or at least he thought she had. When she’d turned around to ask him whether he wanted the longer or shorter route at the fork, he couldn’t see her eyes beneath the gold-trimmed aviators.
“Longer,” he’d said without pause.
Looking wasn’t so bad, right? He could hear the slight tremor in his voice, but she smiled at his response and didn’t seem to notice.
“ … especially this time of year,” Lily called over her shoulder.
“Sorry, what?” he asked. Get it together.
“I said I’m glad we got to take advantage of one of the few sunny days,” she said.
“Oh, yeah. It’s great,” he said.
Cade couldn’t help it. His eyes wandered from the swell of her ass, barely contained in the tight black leggings, to her shapely thighs.
She might as well be naked. It didn’t take much to imagine.
In some places, the curve of her cheeks and the flare of her hips, he could even see a touch of skin as it shone through the stretchy material. Cade searched for an outline of underwear, but found nothing.
Those gorgeous legs, he thought. Attached to a gorgeous body, and gorgeous face.
“ … think so?” Her voice broke through to him, and he realized she’d turned to him again.
Cade cleared his throat as embarrassment flooded him.
“Yeah,” he said. He didn’t know what he’d agreed to, but she smiled again.
Right answer. You got lucky, he scolded himself. Can’t you keep it together for an hour?
The path widened, and Lily moved to the edge of the trail to make room for him. Side by side, it was a little easier to avoid the distraction. But here, he could smell her, that familiar perfume or soap that she’d worn even when they’d been together that one time.
“I know I’m from here and everything, but I’m always amazed how beautiful this place is.”
“The park?”
“Oregon!” she said with a laugh. “But yeah, this particular trail, too. It’s crazy how green it is, even after the winter.”
“Evergreen,” he said. “That’s the thing about the Pacific Northwest. All the pines. It’s kind of like Montana, but a different type of green.”
He heard that he was babbling, but it was better than getting caught checking out her ass and legs over and over.
It’s okay if you want her, he told himself. Hell, it’s even okay that she knows you think she’s hot. Just don’t cross that line, he reminded himself.
That seemed simple enough. But if it’s so simple, what am I doing out here in the woods alone with her?
“I wish EJ could have come,” she said.
“Why? Am I not good company?” he asked.
Damn, and EJ. If EJ ever found out about us, or how I think about her …
“Well, your conversation skills could use a brushing up today,” she said with a smirk. “But I’ll let it slide since this whole thing was kind of sprung on you. Thanks for coming, though,” she added quickly. “I don’t want it to sound like your company is a consolation prize or something like that.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad it was sprung on me. But about EJ, how do you think he’s doing?” he asked.
“What do I think?” Lily glanced up at him. “Fine, I
guess. I mean, I think we’re all handling Dad’s death in our own ways, but he seems as okay as could be expected.”
“That’s good,” Cade said. “And what about, you know, the whole love life…”
“I figured you’d know more about that than me,” she said with a shrug. “I mean, boy talk and all. It’s not like I sit around and compare notes with my brothers.”
“That’s not what I mean,” he said quickly. “Back, you know, a few years ago. He was dating this one girl—”
“You mean Courtney?” she asked sharply. “Yeah, she was a real—well, she crushed his heart for sure. Let’s just put it that way.”
“Damn, he never told me that,” Cade said. “I mean, they were together awhile. And then I left for Montana and on social media at least, one day all the photos he had of her just disappeared. I should have called him.”
“You shouldn’t have,” Lily said. “He was a mess for awhile about that, but you know how he is. Just about spent three hours in the gym every day for a few weeks, and that was it. Actually, EJ’s whole breakup wasn’t the worst of it.”
“What do you mean?”
They reached the crest of a small rolling hill and entered a patch of sunshine that broke through the tree canopies overhead.
“Well, it’s not like Aiden’s been an angel. He started getting around quite a bit when you left. Maybe he was after your local title, I dunno,” she said.
He glanced at her guiltily, but she nudged him playfully in the arm. “I’m kidding. About the title thing, but he did have two pregnancy scares in three days. With two different girls, obviously.”
“Are you serious? He never told me that!”
“Well, you were in Montana,” she said with a shrug. “And he wasn’t exactly bragging about it. He about lost half his hair from the stress.”
“And neither were, well, you know…”
“Pregnant? No,” she said. “It was actually kind of funny, the circumstances. It was hard not to laugh at him.”
“How come?” Cade heard bark chips crunch beneath their feet as ferns brushed softly against his calves.
It really is beautiful, he thought.
But he couldn’t tell if it was just that Lily had brought his attention to it, or if it was being here with her.