by Joan Jonker
Fred Griffin wasn’t in the best of moods that night though, as he jumped up to try to reach the top of the wall so he could haul himself up. He was just inches short, and cursed himself for not bringing a brick to stand on. All he needed was a couple of inches and he’d be over the wall in no time. Kicking the entry door in wasn’t an option, for if he didn’t wake the old lady, he’d wake one of the neighbours.
Determined not to be beaten, or go away empty-handed, Fred took a deep breath, bent his knees and put everything he had into a jump. He found his hands gripping the top of the wall all right, but only because he’d had help. His first feeling was one of elation, but it only lasted a matter of seconds before he realized he was being held up by a pair of hands as big as shovels spanning his waist. In panic he tried to pull himself over the wall, but he was being held in a vicelike grip. And when he glanced down he froze with fright. It was too dark to see clearly, but he sensed the person holding him was the size of a giant. Now Fred Griffin had been called many things in the past that most people would be ashamed of, but one thing he could never be accused of was being a hero. He was far from that. A coward, yes, a hero, no!
‘I don’t know who yer are, but could yer put me down?’
‘I’ll put yer down when yer’ve explained what ye’re doing trying to climb over the wall at this time of night,’ Corker said. ‘Yer wouldn’t be intending to break into the house, would yer?’
‘No, I wasn’t. Yer got me wrong, mate.’ Fred’s mind was working overtime. ‘I live here! But yer see, I went out with a few mates for a bevvy, and I forgot to take me front door key with me. I daren’t wake the wife up, she’d have me life for getting her out of bed this time of night. I told her I was only going for a couple of pints, but I ended up going home with one of me mates and we’ve been playing cards. We didn’t notice the time passing, and I got a shock when I looked at the clock.’
‘A likely story, eh, Jack?’ Corker said, putting more fear into Fred, who now knew he’d been caught by two men. ‘I’ll let him down and he might be more inclined to tell the truth if he’s standing on his feet.’ He lowered the now terrified man to the ground. ‘Now, you tell me and my mate what ye’re up to, ’cos we’re very interested.’
That was when Fred had a brainwave, or thought he had. ‘Oh, I get it, this is your patch! Oh, ay, I’m sorry lads, I didn’t know I was treading on someone else’s toes.’ Feeling weak with relief, he squared his shoulders and attempted to walk between the two men. ‘I’ll leave yer to go about yer business.’
Corker barred his way. ‘You ain’t going anywhere, mate. And what business would my friend and meself be about?’
Fred thought he couldn’t go wrong, because why would these two blokes be hiding in an entry at this time of night, if they weren’t there for the same reason as himself ? ‘Look, I’ll leave yer to it. Yer should have no trouble seeing as there’s two of yer. And it should be an easy job, ’cos there’s only an old lady lives there. She won’t give yer no trouble.’
It was Jack who grabbed Fred by the scruff of his neck. He was furious that anyone should talk about its being easy to rob an old lady. Surely to God, any decent man would want to protect the elderly, not rob them and ruin their lives. ‘Oh, ye’re way off the beaten track, mate.’ Jack’s teeth were ground together. ‘Me and me brother live here, with me mam. Tell him, Jim, that he’s picked the wrong house when he picked ours.’
‘It’s just as well we came along when we did,’ Corker said, mentally giving Jack ten out of ten for being so quick at thinking up that tale. ‘He’d have frightened the life out of me ma, and I think he deserves a good hiding to teach him a lesson.’
By this time Fred Griffin was wishing he was miles away. But he still tried to bluff his way out of getting a hiding. One punch off these two would see him in hospital. ‘I think yer’ve got the wrong entry and the wrong house, lads, ’cos there’s definitely an old lady living in this house on her own. I know because I’ve seen her.’
‘Oh, is that what your job of work is?’ Corker asked. ‘You find out where elderly people live on their own, and you break into their homes and steal from them? What a brave man you are, picking on people who can’t defend themselves. Well, I’m going to give you a chance to defend yerself, which yer don’t deserve but which I’m going to give yer because I think even an animal has the right to defend itself. And you are an animal.’
Jack took hold of Corker’s arm. ‘Don’t make a noise or yer might wake me mam.’ He was keen to stick to the lie that they were brothers for that was one way of making sure this robber never troubled Mrs Reagan again.
Corker nodded. ‘I’ve had second thoughts on that. I now think our best bet is to take him along to the police station. There’s a sergeant on duty all night, so he can put this blighter in a cell and keep him there until they interview him tomorrow. He’ll be charged with attempted robbery, and you and meself will be witnesses.’
Fred struggled to free himself from Corker’s grip, but he didn’t stand a chance. ‘Yer can’t say I was breaking and entering because I was in the entry with you and yer brother all the time.’
‘But you admitted yer were going to break in, and that’s what the police call “intent”.’ Corker didn’t fancy the long walk to the police station, nor did he fancy having to repeat the tale that he and Jack were brothers and making up a cock and bull story about their being in the entry after midnight. ‘Do yer live round here?’
‘No, I live miles from here. Four stops on the bus, it is.’
‘If me and me brother let yer go, will yer give us yer word yer’ll stay those four stops away?’
‘I promise. Yer’ll never set eyes on me again.’
Corker looked across to Jack. ‘What d’yer think, brother? Shall we give him a chance?’
‘It’s up to you, Jim, but I’ll be honest and tell yer that if I ever set eyes on him again, I’ll give him the hiding of his life. He’ll rue the day he was born.’
‘Yer won’t see me no more, and that’s a promise.’ Fred looked from one to the other. They’d given him a fright, these two brothers, especially the one built like a battleship. And he’d definitely be staying well away from this neck of the woods in future. ‘Can I go now, because the wife will be worrying about me?’
Corker clipped his ear. ‘Go on, scarper. Consider yerself lucky and never forget that if we ever see yer again, yer might not be so lucky.’
As they stood and watched the would-be burglar running as though his life depended on it, Corker said, ‘There goes a man without a brain in his head. If he robs people for a living, then he and his family don’t know what life is all about. He’s the most stupid burglar I’ve ever heard of, and I’ve heard of plenty from my pals in the police. But I’ll tell yer about that some other time. We better get home or the wives will be worried. And talking of wives, you can tell Molly from me that with her intuition she’d make a wonderful detective.’ Corker chortled. ‘On second thoughts I’ll tell her meself tomorrow night. Right now, let’s head for home and bed.’
‘I hate to think we caught a burglar, and he got off with it,’ Jack said as they neared their street. ‘He should be behind bars.’
‘There wasn’t anything we could do, Jack, because he didn’t commit any offence. And Mrs Reagan is best not knowing anything about the man Molly calls the man in a trilby. The old lady would worry herself sick. And one thing we can be sure of, she’ll go back to her little house tomorrow and find everything just as she left it. And she must never be told how close she came to losing her treasures. At least we’ve stopped one robber from coming in this area again.’
They reached Jack’s front door and he took a key from his pocket. ‘All the lights are out here, and in your house. I hope I don’t bump into anything, so I’ll take me shoes off and creep up the stairs.’
‘I’ll bid yer goodnight, Jack, and I believe we can both be happy with the turn of events.’ Corker moved to his own front door. ‘See yer tomorrow
night, Jack. Goodnight.’
‘Yeah. Goodnight, Corker. See yer tomorrow.’
Chapter Eleven
Nellie received such a warm welcome when she arrived at her usual time of ten thirty that she looked at her mate with suspicion. ‘Ye’re in a very good mood, aren’t yer, girl? What have I done to deserve that smile yer’ve got on yer clock? Not that I’m complaining, like, ’cos it’s better than seeing yer with a face as long as a fiddle.’
‘I’ve got news for yer, sunshine, so you sit yerself down and I’ll bring the tray in. I’ve got it all ready and waiting for yer.’
Nellie’s eyes were narrowed when she said, ‘It’s not my birthday, is it, girl, and I’ve forgot?’
Molly shook her head and turned towards the kitchen. ‘No, it’s more exciting than a birthday. But don’t ask me to tell yer until we’re settled down with our cup of tea.’
‘And a custard cream, I hope, girl! In fact, seeing as yer look so happy, could yer make that two biscuits?’
‘Don’t push yer luck, sunshine.’ Molly was grinning when she picked up the tray from the draining board. They say God loves a trier, and her mate was certainly good when it came to trying to get the most out of life. ‘However, it just so happens that there were four biscuits in the tin, so we’ve got two each.’ She put the tray down in the middle of the table. ‘Tea is poured out, and sugared and milked, so all yer have to do is drink it. And remind me to get biscuits while we’re out.’
Nellie dunked one of her biscuits in the tea, ate it in one go, then asked, ‘What’s the news, girl?’ Her eyes warned of mischief. ‘Ye’re not pregnant again, are yer?’
‘I said the news was exciting, sunshine, and I wouldn’t find being pregnant at my age exciting. More like a miracle.’
‘I don’t know so much, girl, there’s women older than you what have got themselves in the family way. What about Mrs Higgins from the next street, she was fifty when she had her last baby.’
Molly was getting impatient. ‘For heaven’s sake, Nellie, what are yer bringing Mrs Higgins into the conversation for? We hardly know the woman, and it’s none of our business if she has a baby at fifty.’
‘Keep yer hair on, girl, don’t be getting all hot and bothered, it’s not good for yer at your age.’ Reaching for her second custard cream, Nellie muttered, ‘I knew that smile wouldn’t last long, it was too good to be true. It’s being taken over by misery guts, the look what turns milk sour.’
Molly decided the only way to shut Nellie up was to ignore her. So, feigning a yawn, she sat back in her chair, folded her arms, and began to count the seconds ticking away on the clock. She had counted up to twenty-five when her mate broke the silence.
‘What’s up with yer, girl? Yer were full of smiles when I came in, now yer look as miserable as sin! Surely I don’t have that effect on yer?’
‘I’ve been waiting for yer to stop trying to be funny, sunshine, that’s why I’m not grinning like a clown. I did have some news for yer, but as ye’re not interested I won’t bother. We’ll finish our tea, and then be on our way.’ Molly knew her mate so well, she could predict what was going to happen next. First would come the narrowing of the eyes, then the face contortions, and finally the question. And as usual she was right.
‘Aren’t yer going to tell me what yer news is? I want to know, I’m eager to know, and I’m all ears. So come on, let’s have it.’
Molly shook her head. ‘No, I’m not in the mood now, sunshine, so let’s skip it. But if yer happen to see Jack or Corker in the street, they might tell yer. That’s if ye’re interested, of course, and they’ve got the time.’
‘Corker and Jack!’ Nellie’s voice was shrill. ‘What have they got to do with anything? Yer’ve got me going now, girl, and I ain’t leaving this house until yer tell me what yer’ve been up to with Corker and your Jack. So yer can just plonk yerself down again, girl, and spill the beans.’
‘Well, don’t blame me if I keep yawning, sunshine, because I didn’t get to bed until just on one o’clock this morning and I’m dead beat. I could do with another cup of tea to liven me up, but I haven’t got the energy to put the kettle on.’
Nellie was off her chair like a shot. ‘You just stay where yer are, girl, and I’ll make us a nice pot of fresh tea. I wouldn’t be much of a best mate if I couldn’t make yer a drink when ye’re feeling weak.’
While Nellie was filling the kettle, Molly was sitting back in her chair with a smile of satisfaction on her face. ‘Don’t make the tea too strong, sunshine. I can’t stand tea that is strong enough to stand the spoon up in.’
Nellie could hear the laughter hidden in her mate’s voice, and she popped her head round the door. ‘Sod off, Molly Bennett, I’m not a ruddy slave. Yer’ll have the tea just as it comes out of the spout, and yer can like it or lump it. What’s good enough for me is good enough for you.’
‘All right, sunshine, it’ll be all joking aside when we’re sitting at the table. We’ll start all over again, as if yer’ve only just arrived. No messing around, because when I tell yer why I didn’t go to bed until one o’clock this morning, yer’ll realize there was a very good reason for it.’ Molly took the cup and saucer handed to her, and after taking a sip she said, ‘This is what I call a nice cup of tea, sunshine, just the way I like it.’
The poor chair that Nellie was sitting on was having a hard time trying to stop its legs from breaking under the strain as she shuffled her bottom until she felt comfortable, and then the chair sighed with relief. It wasn’t that it didn’t like Nellie, because it had enjoyed many a laugh when she told her tales. If only her voluptuous body wasn’t so voluptuous, though, for she really did put a strain on it. And it wasn’t getting any younger.
‘Go on, girl, tell me what the news is! Don’t be sitting there like Lady Muck with a soppy grin on yer face. I made the tea for yer, just as yer bleeding well like it, and now I’m waiting for you to repay my kindness. And I warn yer, it had better be good after all this palaver.’
Molly drained her cup, put it back in the saucer and wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. ‘I can honestly say, sunshine, without fear of contradiction, that that is the best cup of tea I’ve had in a long time.’
‘I don’t want flattery, Molly Bennett, I want to know what happened last night. And I want it right now, or so help me I’ll throttle yer.’
Molly leaned her two elbows on the table. ‘And you shall have it, in chapter and verse. Now, d’yer remember the man in a trilby who offered to take Mrs Reagan home yesterday, when she was lying on the pavement?’
Nellie huffed with frustration. ‘Of course I remember him, girl, I’m not in me dotage yet. I also remember yer saying yer thought he’d followed us home to Rita’s! So, now tell me something I don’t know?’
Molly didn’t waste any time. ‘Well, at half past twelve last night he was trying to burgle her house.’
Nellie’s jaw dropped, and it took her a few seconds to recover. ‘How d’yer know that?’ Her eyes narrowed and she leaned across the table. ‘Ye’re pulling me leg, aren’t yer? Well, I don’t think it’s bleeding funny.’
‘I am not pulling yer leg, sunshine, it’s the God’s honest truth. He didn’t get in, thank goodness, because Corker and Jack were there to stop him.’
This was all getting too much for Nellie to take in. Head going from side to side, mouth wide and eyes narrowed, she was lost for words and understanding. Then, after telling herself to calm down, she lifted her bosom, placed it on the table and leaned towards Molly. ‘I’m not going to lose me temper, girl, and I am trying very hard to understand what ye’re telling me. But I just can’t make sense of why Corker and Jack would just happen to be in the entry at half past twelve in the morning when the queer feller was trying to burgle Rita’s house! I think ye’re making it up, ’cos it’s too far-fetched to be true.’ She gave a sharp nod of her head and sat back in her chair putting an expression on her face that told her mate to put that in her pipe and smoke it.
‘Let me spell it out for yer, sunshine, and all will become clear.’ Molly was feeling a little guilty about giving her mate the runaround, for it would be hard for anyone to believe what had happened unless they were there. ‘I told yer I was worried about that bloke following us, and how I thought he had designs on breaking into Rita’s. That’s why I got round Hilda to let her sleep in her house last night. Anyway, Ellen called in last night because some of their customers had told her and Tony about Rita, and Ellen came to see how she was. I mentioned the man in the trilby, and how I didn’t trust him, and she passed on what I’d said to Corker. Now yer know what Corker’s like when it comes to old people being robbed, he’s dead set against it. So it ended up with him and Jack going out at a quarter to twelve, just on spec, like, in case the bloke did have robbery in mind. They stood in Rita’s entry, and lo and behold, at half past twelve, doesn’t the bold man turn up and try to scale Rita’s wall!’