When Aria pulled away, he tightened his hold on her hands, stopping her halfway.
She searched his eyes with regret in her own.
Yoshi winced at the sight.
“You know… the girl I was back then? The girl who followed you off the roof when she was eighteen? The girl who followed you to The White Keys? Followed you to Los Angeles? Followed you into superstardom?” She shook her head. “Yoshi, I’m not that girl anymore.”
“Aria, please….”
“I’m not that girl who feels like she’s not pretty enough, talented enough, strong enough to demand the best from the people in her life. I’m not that girl who follows a boy wherever he goes, even when it’s against her own values, just because she’s terrified of losing him. Terrified that no other man could ever love her again. Terrified of being subpar. I’m not subpar, and my time away from you has shown me that. My faith in myself is strong. More than I ever knew it could be. I’m in school. I sing on weekends. My crowds aren’t as big as yours but…” She laughed softly. “Before I got onstage tonight, an employee from Motown was actually there to see me. Me.” She beamed. “Running off the stage in tears surely killed any dream he might’ve had ready for me, but that’s okay. I’m not out to be a star, or to even get a record deal. Just out to love myself as best I can, and I finally feel like I’m getting there.”
Yoshi squeezed her hand. “A Motown exec showing interest might surprise you, Aria, but it doesn’t surprise me. You say you’ve been following me, but that’s bullshit. You’ve made your own way, on your own accord. That beautiful voice of yours has paved the way for you, not me. That beautiful skin, those gorgeous eyes….”
“But that’s the point.” She reclaimed her hands completely, holding them as claws at her heart. “I couldn’t see that. I couldn’t see that I was a woman of value. And I would’ve never seen it… as long as I was following you.”
Yoshi’s bottom lip took on a slow tremble, but he bit it before it became noticeable, motioning across the table at her.
Aria continued. “If I knew then what I know now… Our relationship died at that release party, when Carmen kissed you right in front of me.”
“That’ll never happen again.”
“The words just aren’t enough anymore. And watching you give up your biggest dream won’t make me feel better, Yoshi. It won’t validate me. It’ll just make me feel terrible. I don’t want you to quit the industry, because even if your father was the big reason you wanted to be a star, it wasn’t the only reason. A solo career was truly your biggest dream—”
“You are my biggest dream.”
“And yet the world doesn’t know it.”
“What does it take? What do you want me to do?” Yoshi’s eyes filled as he leaned forward on both elbows. “What do I have to do to get you back, Aria? I’ll do anything.”
“What will it take to get me back?” She grinned. “Just the one thing you’ve never been able to do.”
“I will do… anything.”
Aria’s smile grew, and she said the three words that had driven her out of their Los Angeles mansion all that time ago. The three words that had been building up inside her since the moment he’d signed that contract with Simon. The three words she’d been wanting to say since the day they’d left The White Keys together.
She never meant three words more than the whispered ones that left her lips. “Say my name.”
21
“Say my name.”
Yoshi heard those words for the entire flight back to Los Angeles. For the entire walk through the airport terminal, where paparazzi were waiting for him at baggage claim. He heard those words as he ignored their invasive questions about the woman they thought he loved. He ignored the fury that raced through his veins at the sound of that woman’s name.
He heard those three words for the entire ride to The Staples Center, where he was late for a Super Bowl press conference he’d forgotten was scheduled. He heard them as he followed Leroy through the secret entryway to the arena’s backstage area.
And he heard them when, across the bustling backstage area, he caught sight of her.
Her.
The woman they all thought he loved.
Sitting on top of a large speaker, swinging her legs and laughing with several members of his crew, Carmen didn’t see Yoshi until he was within a foot of her, storming at her with his fists clenched and his nostrils flared.
She happened to toss him a passing glance, but that glance was enough to wipe the smile clear off her face. It was enough to send the male crew members who’d surrounded her scurrying away without another word. Enough to make her jump down from the speaker, giving him the big green eyes that had surely gotten her out of many jams in the past.
But it wouldn’t get her out of this one.
Soon, her nostrils were just as flared as his, her gaze just as unrelenting, her chest just as swelled as it rose and fell with fury.
“Tell me you didn’t,” Yoshi seethed through clenched teeth. “Tell me you didn’t, Carmen.”
She crossed her arms over her chest while throwing her hair out of her eyes. “Yoshi, what’s wrong? Is it your father again? You look wrecked. Like you’ve just run a marathon without a single sip of water.” She reached for him, but her hands froze in mid-air when he stepped away.
Yoshi saw the exact moment they started to shake. “I trusted you.”
“Well, I hope so.” Carmen frowned, crossing her arms. “We’re friends, right?”
“Friends…” Yoshi smiled through pain in his eyes. “You watched me.”
Carmen’s eyes widened as her arms fell to her sides. A lump moved down her throat.
“You watched me… sobbing onto her voice mail…. for months.”
Carmen lifted her chin, her own jaw going tight.
Yoshi’s fists tightened. “You watched me call her, beg her, write her… You watched me throw my career to the wolves, watched me take it out on my fans and fall apart onstage because I couldn’t handle the pain of losing her. You watched me suffer, Carmen, for months and months, and the entire time, you were behind it. Hanging all your hopes on the fact that two orphans will always believe, somewhere in the back of their minds, that the people they love most will eventually leave. That being thrown away is unavoidable. Inevitable. You fucked with the weakest part of both of us, the part of us that will always be weak, ailing, sick with fear over who will leave us next.”
Carmen swallowed again, lowering her eyes and tightening her own fists. She stared at the floor at their feet for ages, and then lifted her head again, shaking the hair out of her eyes. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, Yoshi. I haven’t been anything but a friend to you.”
“You know that saying?” Yoshi bit his bottom lip. “‘When someone tells you who they are, believe them?’”
Carmen’s eyes doubled in size, and then they filled with tears. She gritted her teeth, looking at him from the corner of her eye. “Don’t.”
“In the Maldives, you told me you were a whore….”
“Yoshi…” The tears came in a flash and filled her eyes in seconds, finally falling over the brim of her desperate orbs and down her trembling cheeks, one after the other. “Don’t.”
“You told me you were a whore, and I didn’t believe you.” He dragged in a deep breath. “But I believe you now.”
Carmen’s bottom lip joined her tears and took on a soft tremble. “But…” When the words fell away before she could even finish, she almost stopped talking, but with curled lips, she powered through, looking at him from under her eyelids. “But you said… You said I was exquisite.”
Yoshi flinched, and when he felt his arms roll with dilating tightness, sending orders to his fisted hands that he couldn’t obey, he took a healthy step away from her.
Carmen reached for him again, halfheartedly, allowing the first sob to escape her lips as her arms seemed to give up halfway, falling back to her sides.
Yoshi zeroed
in on her again, pointing a finger in her face. “I want you out of my sight and out of my life.”
The shock that passed over her face seemed genuine. So much so that it dried her tears. It calmed the shaking in her cheeks and lips. It relaxed the tension in her fisted hands.
She stared into his eyes for another long moment, and then crossed her arms again. “You should’ve really read that contract you signed,” she said, her voice already becoming nasally. She tried to sniff it away. “Because, according to that contract, I’m your girlfriend until that deal expires. And it doesn’t expire for another three years, or until you release another album.” She shrugged. “Whichever comes first.”
Yoshi felt the disgust washing over his face. He felt it whitening his skin and making it clammy. He saw the moment she felt it too. Like it climbed right out of his body and relocated to hers.
But even as her eyes filled with defeat, she lifted her chin higher, shaking her hair out of her eyes. “You’ve already bled yourself dry buying your way out of the last leg of the tour. I doubt you can afford to buy your way out of your contract. So, regardless of how you feel, or what you say, Yoshi… I. Am. Your. Girlfriend.”
“You’re fucking insane. That’s what you are.”
Her face grew manic. “This is business. And it’s far too late to do an about-face. The public has fallen in love with us as a couple. I am just as responsible for your rise as you are—if not more so.”
Yoshi’s face fell. Then, he burst into laughter.
Her face went beet-red. “Do you really think you’d have sold a single album with that girl on your arm?” she cried, pointing to the door of the backstage area. “Do you really think you’d have thousands of girls—of all races—begging to suck your dick every night if I weren’t there to make them all think they stood a chance? Do you really think all the non-black girls who bought your album would’ve still bought it if I weren’t on your arm? There are three times as many Yarmen shippers as there are Yaria shippers now.”
Yoshi had to chuckle, amazed that she was using unhinged fans on Instagram as a basis for her twisted argument.
Taking his silence as ammunition, her voice rose. “You should be thanking me for keeping that weird-looking girl away from you. I saved you from yourself!”
Yoshi searched her eyes, still unable to hide his smile. “You sure about that?”
“Are you sure about the Super Bowl conference you’re late for right now?” Carmen countered. “I bet you’re pretty damn sure about that. And you would’ve never been speaking at this conference if it weren’t for me!” She jammed her finger into her chest.
Yoshi’s smile finally came full bloom, lighting up his face. “If you knew anything about me, you’d know how little this conference means to me. If you knew anything about me, you’d know that I just told Aria I’d drop the Super Bowl, drop the contract, drop you, drop all of this bullshit, for good, if it meant winning her back.”
Carmen’s shoulders collapsed. Her eyes softened as her lips resumed trembling. “I loved you.”
“Oh, Jesus.” Yoshi turned and walked away, putting several feet between them with his hands on his head. He laughed heartily.
When she spoke again, her voice was closer, deeper, darker. She shoved him from behind. “I love you!” she screamed.
Yoshi spun on his heel and pointed down at her. “You don’t love me, Carmen, because you can’t love anybody as long as you hate yourself this much.”
She sputtered over her words, slapping away the new tears that had wet her cheeks.
Yoshi bent down to her level, making claws. “Do you hate yourself this much? That you’ll batter-ram your way into the life of a man who doesn’t want you? Who is disgusted just looking at you? Who will forever hate the sight of you?”
She shrugged, sniffling. “It’s just business.”
“You’re a whack job. You really had everyone fooled about how ‘cool’ you are, how ‘professional’ you are, how ‘together’ you are. But you’re nothing but a fucking whack job. Contract or no contract, stay away from me, Carmen. I mean it. Stay the fuck away from me.”
Yoshi went to move away, but she hurried into a speed walk, so she could be the one to leave him. Abandon him. She sped past him while looking up at his tightened jaw, making sure to bump his shoulder on her way by, never breaking their eye contact.
Yoshi stopped walking and watched her go.
Any other day, his heart would’ve been at his feet.
Carmen thought she’d won. She thought a contract meant the war was over.
Little did she know Yoshi had read his contract.
And he’d already devised a foolproof plan to wiggle his way out of it forever.
--
A week later, every television in The Rum River blared the Super Bowl. That time, the bar wasn’t filled to the hilt in anticipation of Aria, but in celebration of another epic championship game. The New York Giants and New England Patriots were going head-to-head at Los Angeles’ Staples Center. As was true with any sports duel between a New York team and a Massachusetts team, the bar was on fire. They hadn’t even reached halftime and Aria was sure she’d blown an eardrum from all the passionate cries of Giants’ fans splitting her ears. Her clothes stunk of the beer that inevitably went flying every time a play was called in favor of the Patriots, and she was legitimately worried for the lives of the couple of Patriots fans who’d had the balls to show their faces in that bar.
Aria and Shaun watched those two fans, who’d had the good sense to huddle themselves into a corner. Quietly. Even when the Patriots got a touchdown, their lips were shut tight. They knew better than to even make a peep of celebrating.
“If the Giants lose, those two are not going to make it out of here alive.” Shaun laughed, locking eyes with Aria from where they sat side by side at the bar.
They were both leaning against the bar’s countertop, their backs bent to accommodate the passionate Giants’ fans who were unconsciously invading their space as they spat expletives at the TV. There was barely enough room for their elbows on the bar, which was littered with hundreds of half-consumed alcoholic beverages.
“And they’ll have brought it on themselves,” Harry spat from behind the bustling bar, polishing a glass and glaring at the couple in the corner before straightening his Giants’ jersey. “I’m about five seconds from throwing their sorry asses out of here.”
Shaun laughed jovially.
Aria smiled into her vodka cranberry, stirring it gently.
“What’s got you down, baby girl?” Harry asked. When Aria just shrugged, he threw his bar towel over his shoulder and leaned onto the bar. “I’ve been swamped all night, so I haven’t had the chance to tell you how sorry I am if I caught you off guard with Yoshi last week. Him coming on stage in the middle of your song and all…” Harry shrugged from behind the bar, curling his lip. “He’s the one who actually called me with the idea, but if I’d have known there was trouble between you two I would’ve never given the okay. I really thought you’d be happy.”
Aria smiled across the bar from where she sat cross-legged on the stool. “You have no reason to be sorry, Harry. It was a sweet thing you did, and it’s not your fault that I’m too emotional for my own good. I’m the one who should be sorry. Running offstage in tears in front of the biggest crowd this bar has had since its inception? What a dumbass. It must’ve really hurt your sales.”
Harry’s cocked lip went higher. “You’ve been in the music industry for over five years and you still don’t understand that there’s no such thing as bad press? The only video on our YouTube channel that’s gotten more views than ‘Who Knew’ is the video of you running offstage like a lunatic in the middle of ‘Who Knew.’ Our sales tripled overnight, baby girl.”
“I’m thrilled that my breakdown’s been so lucrative for you. Where’s my cut?”
Harry put a hand to his ear, pretending to be listening to a patron at the other end of the bar. “Oh, another scotch? Co
ming right up.”
He breezed away before Aria could breathe another word about her ‘cut.’
She and Shaun watched him go, giggling softly.
Aria took a sip of her drink. “Where’s Adam, anyway? Isn’t he a big Giants fan?”
“Have you ever seen that movie, The Fan? I’m beginning to have suspicions it was written about Adam and his obsession with the New York Giants. I’ll just leave it at that.”
“You’d think he’d be in here losing his mind along with everyone else.”
“He had a last-minute work thing,” Shaun said. “You know how these artists are. Consumed by their work.”
“What kind of work thing?”
Shaun poked her lips out and shrugged. “I dunno….”
Aria squinted at Shaun, sensing she was keeping something from her, but she let the subject drop.
“Henry’s right. You’re not yourself.” Shaun bumped shoulders with Aria. “Still haven’t heard from Yoshi, huh?”
“Not since we had drinks last week.” Aria sighed. “He asked me what he had to do to get me back, and I told him. I told him exactly what it would take, and he hasn’t done it yet. Apparently, it’s the one thing that’s still too risky to pull off. At the end of the day, his career comes first to him. It will always be the most important thing to him. More important than me. And I can’t live with that. I deserve better.”
“Maybe he has to get all his ducks in a row before he can give you what you want.”
“What I asked for? It wouldn’t have taken him a week to get all his ducks in a row. All it would’ve taken was for him to stop in front of the paparazzi that follow him everywhere he goes, and just do it. Do the one thing I asked. The one thing I need. The one thing that would’ve gotten me back in a flash. He hasn’t done it, and he’s not going to. So, it’s over. For real this time.”
Shaun bumped her shoulder again. “I’m sorry, friend.”
As halftime arrived with the Giants still down, pained groans filled the bar. The patrons couldn’t even enjoy the game’s infamous commercials, too hurt by their team falling behind to enjoy it.
Encore (Stereo Hearts Book 2) Page 28