by J. L. Perry
My head snapped in her direction, while my brother and his mates screamed profanities at me. She was fully dressed and soaked from the splash, but surprisingly, she was smiling. It was a beautiful fucking smile too. I’ve never been a believer in love at first sight, but fuck me if I didn’t fall a little in love with her in that moment. If it had been any of the other stuck-up bitches my brother hangs around, all hell would’ve broken loose.
Two days later, I ended up beating the crap out of her boyfriend in our kitchen after I heard him bragging about her exceptional oral skills to my brother and his dickhead mates.
Thankfully, she saw the light and broke up with him a week later. We’ve been hanging out together ever since.
I’m pulled back into reality when her hand slides inside my boxer briefs, causing me to inhale a sharp breath. I’m torn. I want this more than I want my next breath, but it’s what comes after that petrifies the hell out of me. I can’t lose her.
‘Holy crap,’ she whispers once she’s freed my cock. ‘I had no idea you were packing this monster in your pants.’ Her comment makes me laugh. ‘This thing should come with a warning label.’
‘You’re not the first person to say that,’ I reply with amusement. When her eyes slightly narrow and her grip on my cock tightens, I get the impression she doesn’t want to hear about the other girls I’ve been with. I don’t blame her.
I’m positive that’s part of the reason I beat up her ex. One, because he was telling his mates how well she sucks cock, and two, the thought of them together like that really fucked with my head.
I take a deep breath and hold it as her face inches towards my dick. Part of me is screaming, ‘Stop this before it goes any further!’ But I can’t. Maybe the alcohol coursing through my veins is affecting my rational thinking, or maybe it’s because all the blood in my head is now rushing to my cock.
The second her sweet mouth wraps around the head, every ounce of fight leaves me. ‘Candice,’ I moan as my hands thread through her hair. ‘Fuck.’ My eyes roll back in my head as my hips involuntarily thrust towards her mouth. She takes me deep into her throat, palming my balls in her hand at the same time. I bet you a thousand bucks one of those trophies in her cabinet says: Blowjob Queen—Candice Crawford. If there isn’t one, there fucking should be.
I bask in her magic mouth for a little while longer, before putting my hands under her arms and dragging her up my body. It’s not fair that I’m the one getting all the pleasure.
When her mouth crashes into mine, I flip her over onto her back, covering half of her body with my own. ‘It’s my turn now.’
‘Oh Jax,’ she whispers into my mouth, when my fingers trail up her leg and under that sexy little denim skirt she’s wearing. I groan when she parts her legs for me, allowing me better access.
I’m still up in the air about what we’re doing but I’m losing the battle with every second that passes. The moment my hand runs between her legs and over the soaked fabric of her lace panties, all my indecision vanishes. I need her—more than fucking life itself.
Sliding my hand into her underwear, my fingers glide through her heaven. She’s so fucking wet for me. ‘I need to taste you,’ I say, pulling out of the kiss and making eye contact with her.
‘Please,’ she whimpers.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask, hoping she has the sense to stop this, because I sure as hell don’t.
My hopes are dashed when she nods before uttering, ‘Yes. I’ve never been surer.’ There’s no way I can deny her.
Sitting back on my haunches, I glide her pink lace panties down her legs. She lifts her torso away from the mattress, pulling her shirt over her head, and removing her bra while she’s at it. Fuck, she’s beautiful. Surely she didn’t need all those trophies to tell her that. My eyes rake over her luscious body. She literally takes my breath away.
I’m so fucking hard my cock aches.
She moans the moment my mouth bears down on her and her fingers grip my hair. Christ, she tastes just as sweet as I knew she would. I love that it only takes me minutes to have her coming undone.
I place my hand over her mouth when she screams out in pleasure. Her mother’s downstairs. I don’t fancy facing her wrath if she finds out what we’re up to in here.
Taking my time, I kiss my way up her body until my mouth covers hers. I know the day will come that I’ll regret doing this, but I’m too lost in her to care right now.
My body is still nestled between her legs, and my need to be inside her is so strong.
‘Fuck me Jax,’ she breathes. Did she just read my mind?
‘Candice,’ I murmur as I move my cock towards her opening. The moment I slide the tip inside, I throw my head back and groan. She’s so tight. She feels … amazing.
My mouth hungrily captures hers as I push my hips forwards, filling her completely. Her pussy feels like a vice. I hear her breath hitch and her body stiffen.
‘Shit. Are you okay?’ I ask, pulling out of the kiss.
‘I’m perfect.’
‘Do you want me to stop?’ Please don’t say yes.
‘No. Just give me a minute. You’re hung like a horse, remember?’
I chuckle at her comment. She has no filter whatsoever. I love that about her.
Stilling, I give her body time to adjust. My mouth meets her again, but this time my kiss is a lot softer. I stay buried inside her for the longest time, while we make out until my need to move becomes too much.
Drawing my hips back slightly, we moan in unison when I slide back in. Within minutes I’m moving at a steady pace, pumping into her little slice of heaven, over and over. Rocking her hips, she meets me stroke for stoke. The sheer enormity of what I’m feeling for her in this moment scares me.
It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
Flipping over onto my back, I bring her with me. ‘You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now,’ I say as she straddles my hips and sinks down onto my cock.
She rewards me with a smile. ‘I’ve never felt more beautiful.’
My fingers dig into her hips as I slightly lift her before drawing her back down. I watch as her eyes flutter shut and her mouth parts as she sweetly moans. Lowering my gaze, I stare at her pussy tightly wrapped around my dick. It’s a perfect fit. Then my heart sinks.
‘Fuck,’ I grate out, pulling her off me in a panic.
‘What?’ she asks, confused.
‘I forgot to put a rubber on.’ I’ve never gone bareback before. ‘Shit,’ I say, looking down at my cock. What the hell? Is that blood? ‘Fuck.’ That’s all I damn well need. ‘Please don’t tell me you’re a virgin.’
‘Okay, I won’t,’ she whispers, wrapping her arms around her legs.
‘You won’t what?’
‘Tell you,’ she replies, turning her face away from me. In that moment no words are needed, her actions say it all. Christ. How could that be? I never would’ve let this go so far if I’d known.
The moment I go to stand, Candice grabs for my arm. ‘Don’t go,’ she begs. ‘I’ve mucked around with guys before, but I’ve never gone all the way. It’s no big deal.’
Running my fingers through my hair in frustration, I turn to face her. ‘It’s a big deal, Candice.’
When I notice the tears pooling in her eyes I reach for her, pulling her to me.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because I know the type of person you are, Jax. You never would’ve gone through with it.’ She’s right, I wouldn’t have. Too late now, the damage is done.
We’re both silent for the longest time, until she finally speaks. ‘Please don’t leave me.’
I don’t reply because truthfully, I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure if she’s talking about this moment, or me going away to university. The thought of leaving her and not seeing her for God knows how long, is tearing me up inside.
‘I need you, Jax,’ she says, straddling my lap again. My entire body comes back to life the moment she sinks
down onto me. ‘I need you,’ she repeats. When her lips meet mine again, I’m lost.
I fucking need her too.
‘Wait. Let me wrap it,’ I say, pulling out of the kiss.
‘No. I want to feel all of you, Jax. Just pull out when it’s time.’
My common sense screams, ‘Don’t be a fool, wrap that fucker,’ but my heart tells me to give her what she wants. My heart will always win out when it comes to her.
Holding my orgasm back, I drag this out as long as I can. I don’t want our time together to end, because I know it will be our last. The second I feel her muscles clench around my shaft, I can no longer stop the inevitable. Quickly pulling out, I stroke my cock a few times until I’m cumming all over her silky soft skin. It’s a beautiful sight.
In this moment, I know I’m ruined. I’ll never again experience anything remotely close to what I just did with her. Never.
*
When I wake, the room is bathed in darkness, and my head hurts like a bitch. I lay there for a few minutes, trying to get my bearings. Then it hits me like a tonne of bricks—Candice.
Please let this be dream.
Turning my head, I see the beautiful profile of her face illuminated by the moonlight shining through her bedroom window. Fuck. It’s not a dream.
Throwing my legs over the side of the bed to sit up, I clutch my pounding head in my hands. What have I done? A lump rises in my throat as the enormity of everything I’ve just risked hits home.
I’m suddenly feeling like I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here. Standing, I blindly feel around the floor, searching for my pants. ‘Fuck,’ I murmur to myself as I slip into my jeans. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’
Once I’m dressed, I make the heartwrenching decision to walk away. It’s gonna kill me, but it needs to be done. I can’t face her in the morning. I just can’t.
‘I love you,’ I whisper as I lean down, gently placing my lips to hers. I’ve never uttered those words before. My family doesn’t do love.
She stirs briefly before releasing a cute snore. Even though my heart is heavy, it brings a smile to my face. I walk towards the door, glancing briefly over my shoulder as I go. This may be the last time I ever see her.
I selfishly put my wants before my needs, and I hate myself right now. I’ve always wanted her, but more than anything I’ve needed her. I always will.
I fucked up.
I’ve ruined everything.
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My name is Carter Reynolds. I was born a bastard and I’ll die a bastard. I learnt it at a young age, and nothing and nobody can change that. I’m on a one-way path of destruction, and God help anyone who gets in my way. That’s until I meet the kid next door, Indi-freakin’-ana. My dislike for her is instant. From the moment I lay eyes on her, she ignites something within me. It freaks me the hell out. She’s like sunshine and rainbows in my world of gloom and doom.
I’m Indiana Montgomery. My friends call me Indi. Despite losing my mum at the age of six, I have a wonderful life. My dad more than makes up for the fact that I only have one parent. I’m his little girl, the centre of his world. When Carter Reynolds moves in next door, things take a turn for the worse. He’s gorgeous, sinfully hot, but he seems hell-bent on making my life miserable. He acts tough, but when I look into his eyes I don’t see it. I see hurt and pain. I’m drawn to him for some reason. Whether he likes it or not, I refuse to give up on him.
CARTER
the past …
REACHING OUT, MY MUM WRAPS HER LONG, DAINTY FINGERS around my small hand. “Jump, baby.” She smiles as I launch from the bottom step off the bus, landing on the sidewalk. We both laugh. I love my mum. She’s fun.
“Brrrrrr, it’s cold today,” she says.
Looking up, I find her shivering. I smile at her as she zips up her coat to keep warm. Digging through her bag, she takes out my favourite Spiderman beanie and scarf, holding them up for me to see.
“Put these on, sweetie,” she says smiling as she crouches down in front of me, placing my beanie on my head and wrapping the scarf around my neck. “Let me get your gloves,” she adds, reaching into her bag again. “I can’t have my little man getting sick.” I stand and watch as she pushes my small fingers into my blue gloves, one by one. “There, all snug.”
“Snug as a bug in a rug,” I add. This is something she says to me every night when she tucks me into bed.
“That’s right, baby,” she says leaning forward, giving me a soft kiss on my nose. Rising to her feet she reaches for my hand. “Come on.”
As we walk down the street, my eyes take everything in. I don’t think I’ve ever been here before. There are shops on one side of the street, and big houses on the other. “Where are we, Mummy?” I ask while looking around. The loud roar of a motorbike passing makes me jump.
“This is my hometown. I grew up here.” I look up at her. Wow. Mummy lived somewhere else before our home?
She gazes down at me, but she looks sad. “You lived here when you were little, like me?” I ask.
“Uh huh. This is where your grandparents live.”
“I have a grandma and grandpa?” I didn’t know that either. I feel my eyes widen and I smile. I hear the kids at school talk about their grandparents all the time. I’ve always wondered why I didn’t have any of my own.
I’ve never asked my mum why. Once I asked her how come I didn’t have a daddy like the other kids, and it made her cry. I don’t like seeing my mummy cry.
“I’m taking you to meet them now. They’ve never met you before.” I’m getting so excited, like I did a few weeks ago when I turned five, and my mummy bought me a big chocolate cake. My friend, Josh, was allowed to come over. He even bought me a present. Nobody but my mummy has ever bought me a present before. I met Josh’s grandparents once, when I was playing at his house. They were really nice. I hope my grandparents are like his.
I start jumping along because I’m so happy. Mummy stops in front of a big, white house. It’s really, really big, like the houses you see in movies. It’s so much bigger than where mummy and me live.
My mum’s hand starts shaking as she holds mine. I look at her. She looks mad, like the time I drew on the wall at home. Her eyes are doing funny things.
“Your hands are shaking, Mummy.”
“I’m okay little man, I’m just cold.” She looks down at me and smiles. Her eyes look happy when she looks at me.
“Do you want to borrow my gloves?”
“No, baby,” she says as her smile widens. She crouches down, placing her hands on either side of my face. “No matter what happens when we go in here, just remember how much I love you, and how special you are.”
“Okay,” I say. I love my mummy. I know I’m going to love my grandparents too.
“Good boy.” She leans forward and kisses my cheek before standing up and reaching for my hand again. “Let’s do this.”
As we walk down the long driveway, my mum’s hand continues to shake. I wish she’d put my gloves on. I hate how she’s cold.
“One … two … three … four … five.” I count the stairs in my head as we climb them before we stop in front of the big yellow door. I hear my mum let out a big breath. Letting go of my hand, she makes a fist as she raises her arm, but she stops mid-air. Looking down at me, her lips turn up before finally knocking on the door. I can’t wait to see my grandparents. I hope they have chocolate. I love chocolate.
Reaching for my hand, she gives it a squeeze. When the door opens, I look up at the man who stands there. He doesn’t look happy when he sees mummy.
“Elizabeth,” he says sternly.
“Hi, Daddy,” she replies nervously. He relaxes when mummy says that. The corners ofhis mouth turn up slightly. I feel my own big smile. Wow, this must be my grandpa. He looks so strong.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
My mum doesn’t say anything for what feels like one hundred years. “I wanted to see you. I … ummm, wanted you to meet your grandson, Carter.” She gives my hand another squeeze as she looks down at me.
“Hello, Grandpa,” I say. I’m seeing my very own grandpa. I want to hug him.
He looks angry again as he stares down at me. Then his head snaps back up to look at my mummy. “Why did you bring that little bastard here?” he asks really, really meanly. “Get him out of here. Don’t you ever bring him here again.” Stepping back, he slams the door in our faces.
My mum makes a strange sound and I feel like crying. I’m sad because my mummy is sad. She only makes that noise when she’s upset. I don’t like my grandpa. He’s mean. “Come on, baby,” she says. When her eyes meet mine, I see her tears are already falling. I don’t like seeing my mummy cry.
I’m almost running behind her as she tugs on my hand. She hurries down the driveway and back out into the street. “What’s a bastard?” I ask. I’ve never heard that word before. The way my grandpa said it, it doesn’t sound like a nice word.
My question stops her walking. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she squats down in front of me. “You’re not a bastard,” she says sadly. “Pay no attention to what he said. You’re a beautiful boy.” She gives me a kiss on my forehead. “I’m sorry I brought you here.”
“It’s okay, Mummy,” I say trying real hard to be brave. When my bottom lip starts to quiver and the first tears fall, I know I’ve failed. I’m not brave.
“Oh, baby.” She opens her arms, pulling me tightly against her as I cry into her chest. “You’re not a bastard,” she whispers.
I want to believe her, I do, but why would grandpa say it if it’s not true? I hate that I’m a bastard. Even though I don’t know what it means, I know that this moment and that horrible word are going to stick with me for a long time. Maybe even the rest of my life.