Her mouth dropped open. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. That man has nothing to do with me.”
“I thought someone working for God would be less prone to lying,” Yuri said. “I guess I was wrong. A prisoner is a prisoner. Come here.”
Yuri reached forward, seized her arm in a painfully hard grip, and suddenly everything spun away from her.
****
The next thing Eden knew, she was in a world of darkness going down a giant slide toward a discus of light at the end of it. If Eden hadn’t had this happen to her twice already, then she would have been alarmed. She was going into Yuri’s world. As Eden sped ever faster toward the discus of light, she thought, But why Yuri? Why is he one of my five?
When Eden recovered from her fall she stood in a locker room, staring forward with bleary eyes. Her conscious mingled with Yuri’s, and she was no longer herself. She was him.
Someone came up behind him and patted his shoulder, knocking him out of his stupor. The man was African American with a bald head and glistening brown eyes. He was also muscular.
“Ken, you scared me,” Yuri said, frowning.
“You should get home and get some rest,” Ken said. “Did you go home last night at all?”
He shook his head. “No. I worked the graveyard shift at the bank last night.”
“So you work nights as a security guard, early mornings as a personal trainer, and evenings as a waiter?” Ken whistled. “I’ve been to your apartment, and it isn’t too great. What are you doing with all of the money you’re making?”
Anxiety filled him. Yuri quickly slammed his locker door shut. I’ve got to get out of here now. I don’t want him sniffing around in my life. I don’t know what he’ll do if he finds out about my mom’s medical debts. He ground his teeth.
“I have got to go,” he said.
“Okay,” Ken said, eyes wide with concerned. “Take care of yourself, man. Get some sleep and something to eat. You look like you need it.”
Yuri nodded, turned, and walked out of the locker room. He entered the parking lot. As he walked toward his car, the world spun again. Pausing, he gripped his head, wondering what had just happened. He shook his head, recovered, and kept walking to his car. He unlocked the door, climbed inside, and sat down, staring straight ahead blankly for a moment.
I’m so tired. So, so tired.
He put his key in the ignition, started the car, pushed his foot to the pedal, and began to drive. He pulled onto Main Street, took a left and then a right, and he came to an apartment complex which was rundown and tagged with gang insignia. A woman in a short dress smoked a cigarette outside of her car, and when Yuri pulled in, an appreciative grin crossed her face. Yuri opened the door and climbed out of his car.
“Hey, Yuri, baby,” the woman said.
“Hello, Daisy,” Yuri said, grimacing.
Yuri whirled around to head toward the stairs but then Daisy grabbed him and caught him mid-step. She dropped her cigarette on the ground.
“What do you say to coming upstairs with me?” Daisy asked.
“No,” Yuri said, his voice firm. “Like I’ve said a thousand times.”
And to what feels like a thousand different women.
“Suit yourself,” Daisy said, shrugging. “One of these days, though, you’ll be looking my way, and I’ll give you what you need. A man can’t stay celibate for forever.”
Shrugging his shoulders, he walked tiredly into the apartment building and took the stairs. He climbed up them and made it to the second floor. He walked down the hallway and went to room 315. After taking out his keys, he unlocked the door. When he went inside, he gazed around.
The apartment was furnished with eclectic yard sale furniture like lawn chairs. There were stains on the floor and, somehow, on the plain white walls. When Yuri turned and went into the kitchen he spotted a cracked pan, still filled with dollar noodles crusted over, lying on the stove. Swearing, he picked up the pot, dumped the cold food into the sink and then rinsed it out. He threw his keys on the counter and swore again.
“Mom, where are you?” Yuri asked. “I’m home and making food. Do you want any?”
He paused. Where is she? Not again. He left the kitchen and began to walk down the hall. He glanced down at the table and saw there were bottles of anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and anti-anxiety pills on the kitchen counter. He picked them up and weighed them with his hands. Still full. Panic filled him
“Mom?” he said.
He headed to the room at the end of the hallway and opened the door. When he saw a near empty room with a television showing white static in the middle of it, he muttered in anger. Yuri stormed over to the mattress lying on the floor, the only piece of furniture in the room, and yanked at the stained blankets. After he threw all the blankets on the floor, he groaned and ran his hand through his hair.
I know where she is. If she hasn’t taken her pills, then she’s in the middle of a psychotic spell. She’s probably gone back to McKinley’s again. He kicked the wall by the bed and left a dent. There were two other similar dents there. She was doing so well in her rehab classes. I’ve been paying for what? For her to stop taking her pills and have her get sick again? Anger bubbled beneath the surface.
“If Dad was still alive, I don’t even want to know what he’d do,” Yuri muttered, turned, and then stormed into the hall. “I’m not going to put up with this.”
He re-entered the kitchen, grabbed his car keys, and then walked out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. He locked up and sprinted down the hall as fast as his legs could carry him. Maybe, if I go fast enough, I can drag Mom home and force feed her the pills. After that, I’ll call her doctor. That way, I won’t have to watch her start all over again.
As he ran, he thought, This time, Dr. Ward might put her in St. Anne’s psychiatric hospital. He shivered.
When he made it back to the parking lot, Daisy was still there, smoking another cigarette. She grinned at him when she saw him.
“Off to chase that mom of yours again, huh?” Daisy asked, as he rushed to his car. “Third time this month she’s done this. When are you going to face the music and learn that once a crazy person, always a crazy person? She’s just using the fact you love her as an excuse to take you for everything you have.”
“Shut up,” Yuri said, his heart filling with pain. I know she’s crazy now, but she wasn’t always like that.
As he climbed into his car, Daisy said before he shut the door, “I thought you were going to go to college, Yuri. Now look what she’s done to you. She doesn’t love you.”
But I love her, he thought, frowning at his shaking hands. After slamming the door shut, he stared blankly ahead for a moment. He started the car, wheeled out of the parking lot, and took to the road. As he drove, his head grew fuzzy again. If I don’t get rest soon, I’m going to lose it. But I can’t let her down. I have to take care of her. Otherwise, she won’t have anyone. Maybe if Dad hadn’t died, it wouldn’t be like this. Maybe she wouldn’t have lost it and…
With that thought in mind, he pulled by a broken-down house and stopped. There were many cars in the driveway. A party at Mom’s boyfriend’s? Now? Oh, no, not when she’s like this. Yuri’s jaw tightened and he opened the door of his car and stepped outside, onto the grass. As he walked up the front steps, a group of regulars lingered by the front door, grinning at him.
“Back again, huh?” one of them said. “Your mama is inside, seeing black shadows on the couch.”
Yuri groaned. “I was too late. How bad is it this time?”
One of the other people sniggered. It was a girl with blond hair with a green stripe in the front. “Pretty bad. I have heard some strange things come out of your mom’s mouth, but nothing like this. Even Dougie doesn’t want to sleep with her. I think she’s talking about seeing your daddy tonight.”
Yuri moved to head inside, his stomach sinking, when the blonde girl grabbed his arm.
“Here,” she sa
id, offering him a beer. “Normally, I don’t share my drinks, but it sure looks like you need one.”
He put up his hands and shook his head. “Sorry. My head is foggy enough as it is with the lack of sleep. I don’t want to drink and drive.”
“Suit yourself,” she said, then she winked. “I offer other things besides drinks, you know? I wouldn’t mind slipping off with you for a quickie on the top floor. You’re pretty hot stuff.”
Ignoring the offer and elbowing the girl out of the way, he pushed open the door and walked inside. The girl made no attempt to follow him. As he entered the foyer, he gazed around and saw how crowded it was. Everywhere he looked there were sweaty, drunk, people. The stench of stale beer and vomit made him feel ill.
He pushed his way farther inside and then he looked down at the couch where his mom lay spread out, staring at the ceiling. She was painfully thin with blond hair which fell out in patches and pasty, pock-marked skin. Next to her was a little girl, probably eight or nine, who had her knees drawn up to her chin.
“Mom,” Yuri said furiously, seizing his mom’s arm. “What are you doing? You are supposed to take your meds. You promised me you weren’t going to do this anymore. Don’t you remember?”
His mom stared up at him with red-rimmed eyes and didn’t say anything.
“You know what your doctor said, didn’t you?” Yuri said. “He is going to put you in the mental hospital. I have been fighting this with you for as long as I can, but you have got to help yourself.”
Staring at him with blank eyes, his mom grinned and patted his cheek wordlessly. He had never seen her this bad. I can’t believe this. What do I even work for? He grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet.
Just as he was about to yank his mom out of the room, the little girl looked up at him with pleading eyes. He wanted to turn away. He was tired. So tired. But he couldn’t just leave a kid here.
“You shouldn’t be at a place like this,” Yuri said, frowning.
“I think my mom and dad forgot me here,” the little girl said.
Horror filled him. He stole a look around the room. Dougie has some pretty wild parties, but this is insane. Who would forget their own kid or even bring a child here to begin with?
“Are you okay?” Yuri asked. “No one gave you anything to drink, did they?”
Heaven help me, an eight-year-old who is drunk. The little girl shook her head and he felt relieved. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with that.
“How far away do you live?” Yuri asked.
“About fifteen minutes,” she said.
“Okay,” Yuri said. “Come on.”
“Really?” The little girl’s eyes brightened.
“Yes,” Yuri said. “Will you have a way to get inside your house? Is there anyone at home?”
“Well, my parents are probably home, but I don’t think they’ll be able to open the door in the state they’re in.” The little girl nodded. “There is a way through the back window. It’s always unlocked.”
As Yuri reached forward to take the girl by the arm, his mom clenched his shoulder. He whirled around to look at her.
“Let’s not…” his mom said. “I want to go home. I’m exhausted.”
You’re tired? I just worked three eight hour shifts in a row with no sleep. But he didn’t say the words. His mom was practically an eight-year-old herself whenever she was off her medication.
“You can sleep in the car,” Yuri said. “Come on.”
As he did his best to maneuver both his mom and the little girl out of the house, he felt overwhelmed. People were everywhere, pressing in on him. Finally, he opened the front door and stepped through, and he took a breath of fresh air. He looked around and realized the group on the front stoop was gone. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about being hit on again.
Yuri walked toward his car and unlocked it, still towing his mom and the girl along. There was a napkin on his windshield with some writing on it. The girl grabbed it and frowned at it.
“Alison,” the girl said. “It’s some woman’s phone number.”
“Not again,” Yuri groaned.
“Why would a woman leave a phone number on your car?” the little girl asked.
“Beats me,” Yuri said. “Maybe you can tell me when you’re older.”
Just as Yuri was about to get in the car, he heard groaning and then looked up and saw his mom had disappeared. He wound around the car to see that his mom leaned back against the door and peered up at the sky with big eyes. He swore, seized her underneath her arms, opened the door, and then tried to shove her inside. Mid-shove it got easier, and he saw the little girl had begun to help him. She was stronger than he realized.
“Sometimes my dad comes home and does this. He likes to drink a lot,” the little girl said. “I have to help my mom get him to bed.”
Poor kid. She has it worse than I do. Yuri grabbed his mom by her belt and shoved her farther back into the car. Once he was done, he looked at the little girl and found himself smiling.
“Thanks for helping me,” Yuri said.
“It’s okay,” the little girl said. “By the way, I’m Dawn.”
“I’m Yuri,” he said.
Dawn beamed at him. He opened the door for her and then walked around to the driver’s side again. When he climbed into the car, he looked straight ahead and his vision blurred. He rubbed his eyes and then tried to focus. He felt as though every second he was getting stretched thinner and thinner.
“Are you okay?” Dawn asked, shooting him a worried look. “You don’t have to take me home if you’re drunk. My dad got in a bad accident once because of drunk driving.”
“I’m not drunk. I would never drive after drinking,” Yuri said. “I’m just tired. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
He put the key into the ignition and the engine sputtered to life. As he pulled out into the road, he heard the sound of his mom’s snoring in the backseat of the car. He stole a look in the rearview mirror and saw that her head was back against the headrest and a line of drool drizzled down her chin.
“Turn left here,” Dawn said, knocking him back to reality.
Focusing, Yuri looked at the road again and went left. He realized Dawn led him onto the freeway.
“You sure this is the right way?” Yuri asked.
Dawn nodded. “Like I said, my parents forget me a lot. Sometimes I walk part of the way and then hitchhike a ride half-way when somebody feels sorry for me.”
A cute kid like this? Hitchhike? He gazed at Dawn’s golden skin, curls, and bright brown eyes. Someone like her hitchhiking is dangerous.
“You shouldn’t hitchhike anymore,” Yuri said, getting into the lane to enter the freeway. “Next time you need a ride somewhere, call me. It might take me a little while to get out of work, but I’ll give you a ride. Remind me to hand you my number when we get to your house.”
What are you saying, Yuri? You don’t even have enough time to eat or sleep. But as he stole a look at Dawn, he realized he didn’t care. It was only a matter of time before she ended up getting hurt because of her parents’ negligence.
“Yuri?” Dawn said.
“Yes.”
“Why would you do that for me?” Dawn asked. “Most people ignore me.”
“I can tell you’re a good kid,” Yuri said. “You deserve better.”
He saw Dawn glance at the rearview mirror and say, “So do you.”
He wasn’t sure why, but he felt inclined to explain himself. Leave it to a kid to get right to the heart of the matter.
“I love my mom. She wasn’t always like this. I mean, we were always poor, but that didn’t matter. My family was great.” Yuri stole a look at the mirror at his mom. “Eight years ago my dad went to work and didn’t come back. I was seventeen at the time. I was going to go to California to learn photography at college, but she needed me. The first year I missed out, I told myself I would get my chance soon enough. But every year she got worse. It’s hard to imagine it’s been eigh
t years like… like this…”
He wanted to punch himself. He shouldn’t have told information like that to a kid. But when he glanced over at Dawn, he saw a tear trickle down her cheek and her bottom lip quiver, and he felt she more than understood what he was going through.
“I’m sorry, Yuri,” Dawn said. “Maybe someday you can take pictures.”
“Maybe.” Yuri frowned sadly. “I don’t know.”
Silence fell in the car, and he stared straight ahead. How did things get like this? I was going to take pictures for travel magazines. I was going to see the entire world. As he drove his eyes began to grow heavier and heavier, so heavy he felt as though weights had been strung from them. He began to have trouble focusing. Bright lights flashed in his eyes, and he blinked them away. For a second, he saw trees, green grass, and a beautiful river.
Where am I? He saw his mom’s pale face in front of him, weeping.
“Yuri. Yuri, look out!” Dawn screamed.
The car jerked to the right, his seatbelt tightened painfully across his chest, and then the sound of screeching metal filled his ears. Everything went black.
Eden was yanked out of Yuri’s body, and she was stunned as she hovered in the place of blackness between memories. Even with Adanna, she hadn’t truly felt as if she was her. Just that she was inhabiting her memories. That was not the case with Yuri. For a while, she had felt like she was Yuri.
Both of our moms let us down, Eden thought, as she slid down the black slide to the glowing white discus. We have that in common. That’s why.
When Eden reached the disk of white light, she was once again transported into Yuri’s world.
Yuri stood inside his dim kitchen, staring straight ahead. He was no longer tired, but he felt pain, anger, melancholy, and guilt. Guilt so strong it seared his soul and blinded him.
He looked down at the counter where a news clipping lay. A picture of his car, crumbled, shown on the front page.
Car Crash Kills Eight on Freeway
Five days ago, Yuri Cheremisinov fell asleep at the wheel and flipped his car. Two other cars, trying to evade the crash, swerved, but unfortunately were not able to avoid the collision. As of Friday night, the death toll for this incident was six people. Two of the victims in the critical ward of St. Margaret’s Hospital died as of last night.
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