I’ll show you, Juliana, I thought. One day.
Later
I notice my two friends are at last doing as I asked. They call me by my given name. I am glad they feel close enough to me to be able to do so, but I feel they only find it easy now that I have sunk so low. And that makes me sad.
August 6th
Last night I had such a haul! All because the stupid man shivered like a jelly and practically offered me everything he had. I was confident enough to ride up to him, and snatch whatever he held out to me. He blurted out things like, “Please let me be,” and “Take what you want, but spare me,” and “Here, here’s gold.” There was not much gold, but just before I waved my pistol to tell him to go, something made me ask for his gloves. And underneath his gloves were three magnificent rings! He really blubbered when I demanded those. They were family heirlooms, his father would be in a rage when he found out, and so on. I did not care one jot. All I could see was that these would help me and Dominic. I took them. After all, the man did at least have a family, and rings could be replaced. I could not replace my brother if he were to… I cannot write the word.
“Go!” I said to my quaking victim. “You will find other riches in life.” I thought that was rather a nice thing to say – sort of the opposite of a curse.
Ned says he’ll take the rings to the Stag’s Head and ask Sykes MacPhee’s advice about who can help him sell them. Oh, I am so excited. They will bring lots and lots of money. Maybe enough for me to leave now!
Today I do not feel good about the man I robbed. But I suppose that’s the price I must pay for getting what I need.
I shall not go out this evening. Ned has walked to the Stag’s Head, and if the rings fetch enough money, maybe I shan’t even need to go out again. Besides, I am tired. Highway robbing is exhausting. All that waiting around wears me out.
But it is exciting!
August 7th
Thank goodness I did not go out robbing last evening. I had a visitation from the de Gracy family as they left for a musical evening at Sir Staveney’s home. They were dressed in their best – I have never seen such a quantity of lace and frills and ribbons – but the ladies’ fashions are not new. They cannot have the wealth they appeared to have when I first arrived. Maybe I was asking too much when I wanted a loan from them. No! Ridiculous! By their own standards they may not be wealthy any more, but by mine they are rich indeed.
I put Jack outside, of course, so that sweet Juliana wouldn’t have reason to throw a fit of the vapours, and they entered. The ladies’ eyes were everywhere, and I hoped that Ned had left no traces of his presence. He’s normally very good at keeping everything upstairs.
“We wished to greet you, cousin, as we passed,” said Sir Roger. (You mean the ladies wanted to show off their finery, I thought.) Then he paused. “What is that?”
“That” was a badger’s skull from the keeper’s collection, that Ned has taken a fancy to. I can’t imagine what he wants it for. Juliana leapt back in horror when she saw it. I picked it up. “I’m working on my drawing skills,” I said. “This is my model.” I congratulated myself on my quick thinking.
“Ugh,” said Juliana, so I kept hold of the skull.
The ladies’ skirts were so full, and all their hats so well- plumed, they almost filled my little parlour. In fact, I was quite unable to find Bid to ask her to fetch refreshments. Fortunately, these were refused as soon as mentioned.
“It is Lady Vean’s birthday,” explained Lady Anne. “We are invited.”
I hadn’t realized there even was a Lady Vean, and said so. Heavens, how much anguish it would have saved me if I’d known that Sir Staveney was already married.
“Goodness, yes,” said Juliana. “They have quite a household. Many, many servants, and Dunby, of course, and his child.”
Lady Anne smiled. “Dear Dunby.”
Juliana flushed and lowered her head. Merciful heaven, are things that bad? Are they going to marry Juliana to the fool? For his money? Surely not.
But it would be the solution. Sir Staveney would gain what his family lacks – good social connections – and Sir Roger would gain what his lacks – money.
When Jack barked suddenly, my heart sank. Ned! Ned was back from the Stag’s Head. My insides panicked, while I tried to remain cool on the outside. Fortunately, a flurry in the corner and the door opening and closing told me that Bid had slipped out to warn him.
Juliana was performing as usual. “The beastly dog, Mama, it is coming. Oh, I feel faint…”
“Hush, sweet one,” said her mother. “It’s outside. And have a care for your hair,” she said as Juliana’s knees buckled. “Do try to stay upright.” She turned to me. “You look flustered, cousin. Have you a guest arriving?”
“I… I…” A brilliant inspiration struck me. “To tell you the truth it is no guest you hear,” I said.
“But your dog sounds excited. Someone must be here.”
“’Tis only the keeper. Did you not see Bid run? Oh, she is so frightened of the keeper.”
As I prattled on, those around me fell silent. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Then they all spoke together.
“The keeper?” That was Sir Roger.
“The ghost!” moaned Lady Anne.
Dear sweet Juliana was as white as snow and gibbered quietly to herself. Then she gathered her wits and screeched, “Fathergetmeoutofhere!”
He did not need telling twice. They were all gone with the speed of hunted rats. A lot they cared about me! Nobody thought to save me from the ghost!
I watched the carriage depart, then signalled to my two friends, cowering behind Moonbeam’s stable, that it was safe to come in.
“Wherever was they off to?” asked Ned as he limped in. His poor leg had suffered from the long walk. He is little used to exercise these days, being always cooped up.
“A jolly evening at Sir Staveney’s, listening to Madam Juliana playing the virginals,” said Bid, putting a jug of ale in front of him. “Drink up. You’ll have more fun here.”
Ned was thirsty and drained half the jug before realizing Bid had put a cup out for him to use. He glanced at her and laughed. She ruffled his head.
“Must be quite a gathering they’m going to,” said Ned. “They was in an ’ell of a hurry, begging your pardon, Susannah.”
“It wasn’t the gathering that made them run,” I said. “It was the keeper.”
Bid squealed and moved closer to Ned.
“Not really, Bid,” I said. Honestly, that girl can be so dense. “It was Ned who startled Jack. Ned!” I turned to him, and I know excitement must have shown on my face. “How much have we got? Show me!”
He hesitated, then placed two handfuls of coins on the table. I stared in disbelief. “This is all? Ned, please tell me there is more.”
He shook his head. “That’s all I could get.”
“But those rings were worth far more!” I cried. “This—” I scooped up the coins and let them fall through my fingers like giant grains of sand. “This would scarcely pay for a few nights’ lodgings while I wait for a ship. Get them back.”
Ned gaped at me. “What?”
“You heard me. Get the rings back. I will sell them myself.” I fetched my cloak. “Come, Bid. It will be light for a while yet.”
But Ned had hold of her hand. “Susannah, I don’t care what happens to me, but I will not let you and Bid set foot in the Stag’s Head.”
Bid nodded. “He’s right, my love. We can’t let you do it. You put yourself in danger enough most evenings. Now give me your cloak, sit down, and I’ll make you a warm posset, calm your nerves.”
I did as she said. It was only at that point that I realized Bid is older than me. I am no longer the mistress and she the servant. She has begun to mother me. What a sweet girl – woman – she is.
Ned explained the rules of fencing. The person you sell stolen goods to is called a fence. He gives you a much lower price than you’d get if you sold th
e goods yourself. “The fence, see,” said Ned, “has double danger, ’cos he might get caught with the stolen goods, and when he takes them to sell he lays himself open to robbery or to being caught. And he knows the best place to sell stolen things, which people like you and me don’t. Very valuable, is fences.”
He has learned a lot. But so have I. I’ve learned to be brave and strong. It’s obvious that the bits and pieces I rob from walkers and the odd rider are going to amount to only a little. I must be even braver and hold up someone more likely to yield a good haul.
Ned and Bid drank more ale than they should and I had two cups of strong wine. When Ned said, “Why don’t we all go out and hold up the de Gracy carriage on its way back?” we laughed.
“Ooh, yes! It would be easy,” I said, and Bid and I got quite giggly about what we’d do to Juliana. Then Ned spoiled it all by getting serious and saying he’d tie us down before he’d let us do anything so foolhardy.
But it made me think of the pickings that could be had. A carriage! That’s my next target. But not just yet.
August 12th
Three nights out (not Sunday, of course) and I collected a small haul of money and rings, and a beautiful gold and silver necklace that some young lover was taking to his lady. He begged me to return it, but I have to harden my heart against such pleas. My need is greater. He can buy another necklace. If I lost Dominic, I could never have another brother.
Ned is storing everything for me. We think – at least I think – it might be better to take the jewellery and a fancy carved walnut case, containing a silver watch, to the city, to sell ourselves. I am excited. My wealth is building slowly. Just a little more luck and there will be enough. Then I can forget my life of crime and concentrate on the good I can do. Must do.
Tonight I shall try the road I came in on when I first arrived at Gracy Park. I do not remember the driver hurrying at all. Perhaps, because it doesn’t lead to a city, people are not so afraid to travel along it.
August 13th
I did it! I held up a carriage! I have collected so much! My only sadness is that I did not have another horse, or I could have carried more.
Oh, it was so easy. I let three single riders and a pair of fat churchmen pass by. They little knew the danger that lurked in the trees along the road. Oh, who am I fooling! They’d be in no danger from me, with my empty gun and my girl’s strength. But they would fear me!
When the carriage appeared, I moved out in front of it. That’s always a dangerous moment. The driver could be brave enough to whip the horses up and drive straight at me. But not this one. He pulled them to a halt and said, “I’ve got nothing, my friend.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Try them inside.”
“Get down,” I said. “Sit on the roadside and don’t move, or you’re dead.”
He shrugged. “Don’t worry. I ain’t moving.”
I urged Moonbeam forward and banged on the side of the carriage with my pistol. “Them inside” stuck their heads out, and had obviously been asleep.
“What? What?” said a plump red-faced man.
“Eh? Eh?” The well-dressed, untidy woman opposite him looked bemused for a moment, then she saw my pistol and screamed. “Help! Murder!”
I wanted to slap her face to shut her up, but instead I ordered, in my deepest voice. “Hold! Be still and no harm will come to you.”
Instead of being still, she turned to her husband and began to rant at him. “I TOLD you we should have stopped at that inn. I TOLD you. But no, we’ll push on, you said, we’ll be there before dark, and no, it’s a quiet road, you said, there’s no danger and NOW look at us. All our worldly goods are in this carriage and we’re about to lose them. You FOOL!”
“Quiet!” her husband and I said together.
“I will not take all,” I said. “I want your silver plate, your jewels and your money.”
Well, there followed such an argument that I was afraid the whole world might hear. I almost turned to go, but I was tempted by those words, “all our worldly goods”.
The man got out and I tossed him my sack. “Fill it,” I ordered. “Start with those rings and that pearl necklace your wife is trying to hide beneath her gorget.” I had seen her hands fluttering at her throat, and I would adore to own some pearls.
Once the jewels were in, I said, “Your money.”
He reached into the carriage and pulled out a small leather pouch. “In,” I said, gesturing with the pistol towards the sack.
He obeyed. “That’s it.”
Something told me he was lying. “When I said your money, I meant all of it,” I growled. At least, I tried to growl, but my voice cracked and simply sounded hoarse and harsh. But it was enough. With his wife berating him at every move, he reached beneath her skirts and pulled out a small chest, about the size of a loaf of bread.
“Take it, you scab!” he snarled.
“The sack,” I said. He put it inside. “And there’s room for more – your silver.”
His wife was wailing now, and threatening him with fifty different kinds of vengeance when she got him to their new home, but I didn’t care. I saw a set of silver goblets go into the sack, and a small salver.
Suddenly, my courage left me. I’d been there too long. I needed to get away before someone came. Reaching down, I took the sack from him and, with difficulty, swung it up in front of me.
“You may keep the rest, with the highwayman’s blessing,” I said.
Obviously very relieved they weren’t to lose everything they owned, they thanked me. It made me feel so – I don’t know – so bountiful. I liked the feeling.
I know for sure that when I’m with Dominic and our lives run smoothly, I will do good. I know I will.
Later
All day I’ve hugged the knowledge to myself that I now have a lot of valuable goods. I am sure that when everything’s sold there’ll be enough to get me to America and to help me start a new life with Dominic. Just one more hold-up, then maybe I’ll even have enough to employ a servant to help us grow things and build things – at least until my brother is completely well and strong.
Yes, just one more hold-up, tonight – then I’ll give up my life of crime.
Poor Godfrey had to settle for a walk with me and Jack today. I was so restless I felt unable to teach him a word. I am so close to being ready to go to Dominic. I need to leave.
I’ve scarcely given the actual journey a thought. Getting to Bristol will be easy. I shall ride Moonbeam – both of us with clean noses! I am experienced now in using inns, so that holds no fear for me. How long will the sea voyage take? Two months? Please God that Dominic will not be taken by his illness. Once I am there, I know all will be well. Just hold on, Dominic. And Hannah Carew, please be kind and generous a little longer. I will repay you.
August 14th
Yesterday evening felt so long, though the road was busy. I let several people go past my hiding place at the edge of a wood. One group of three were drunk; the tallest and drunkest was sick on the road. His friends put their arms round him to help him along. The thought of touching anything belonging to that disgusting trio quite put me off robbing them. I wanted to come out of the shadows and tell them how lucky they were, but that would have been foolhardy, and I would have been as much of a show-off as the de Gracy ladies when they were dressed to impress the Vean family.
Eventually I resigned myself to the fact that there was to be no fruitful carriage hold-up and I settled for robbing the first person who came along: man, woman, churchman, on foot, on horseback or even drunk. I couldn’t go home empty-handed.
My prey signalled his approach by tuneless whistling. I moved into the middle of the road. “Hold! Your money, sir!” He stood and stared at me, mouth wide open.
I waved my pistol. “Or your life…?”
He jumped into action and fumbled around his clothing, which looked quite unsavoury. Fishing out a handful of coins, he held them out to me.
I moved forward and took them.
“I hope you hang for taking what little I have,” he said. “I hope I see your rotten corpse in yonder gibbet.”
I turned to look in the direction in which he nodded. My face, behind my mask, must have paled at the sight. A gibbet, its ghastly load swaying in the wind, topped the next hill.
My mouth dried, and my heart pounded. Courage, Susannah, I told myself. Looking at the coins the man held out, I whispered hoarsely, “’Tis all you have?”
“Aye. All the money I have in the world,” he muttered, “but at home I have a wife and three little ’uns to feed. Go on, then, take it, damn yer eyes.”
I could not. I was shuddering inside, and almost unable to speak. I cleared my throat and said, “Keep it. Feed your children. Go.”
He slowly closed his fingers over the coins, but he continued to stare at me. I waved him on with my pistol. As he passed, he looked directly into my eyes and said, “A mother yourself, are you?”
Stupid, stupid Susannah. I was so overcome with emotion I had spoken in my normal voice.
“GO!” I shouted and, pulling Moonbeam’s head around, I went through the trees and on to open land, where I galloped away, not looking where I was going. Only now I am safe in Keeper’s Cottage do I realize how dangerous that was. Moonbeam could have stumbled and thrown me, and I’d have been discovered wearing my mask and men’s clothes.
This morning I feel better. I must go out again tonight, perhaps where I took the last carriage. I must. I failed last night. This will be the last time, whether I am successful or not. I shall have to make do with the hoard Ned is keeping for me.
Late at night
Oh, so much to write, and it may be my last chance. This is also my last theft. I have taken paper from a dead woman’s table, and used her ink. I shall have to leave my writings here, or perhaps I’ll stuff it all inside my clothes and take it to … to wherever I next find myself.
Where shall I begin? With the normal doings of the day? A game with Jack, dinner with Ned and Bid, a chat about how much we’ll all miss each other when I go to America? Our hopes and dreams for a joyful reunion when Dominic and I return?
Highway Girl Page 9