“But I’m damaged—I’ve only been with one man, that was my choice, and it was kind of a bust.”
“Did you love him?” Brian looked as adamant as his brother.
She didn’t even have to think about it. “No.”
“There you go,” Chase said.
“I don’t know for certain that I love you, either.”
“Of course you don’t,” Chase said. “Not yet. But you’re attracted to us, and you like us. Most importantly, you trust us. That’s a pretty damn good start, don’t you think?”
Carrie frowned. She didn’t know if she would ever get to the point where she really understood these men. “It is a good start.”
“Besides, you’re forgetting the most important part, darlin’.” Brian brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.
“What am I forgetting?”
“We love you.” Chase’s words made her heart feel like it thudded in her chest.
“We love you,” Brian repeated. “And we’re not going anywhere.”
“I…” She had to swallow over the lump in her throat. They’d said the words simply, without fanfare, and Carrie knew in that instant they were telling the gospel truth. She knew she trembled, but trusted that was okay. “I don’t know what happens next.”
“What do you want to happen next?” Chase asked.
That was easy. Carrie knew exactly what she wanted. She’d never felt this free to ask for exactly what she wanted. “I want you to do what you do every time I’m here. I want you to hold me and kiss me. Only this time, don’t stop.”
“Are you sure?” Brian’s voice quivered and she understood she wasn’t the only person feeling the power of passion. “Be sure, darlin’, because once we cross that line, there’s no going back. Not for any of us.”
Carrie felt an amazing calm, something she’d never experienced before as she looked from one brother to the other. She kissed Chase, the same kind of kiss he’d given her earlier. Then she reached for Brian, and when he leaned forward, she kissed him, too.
“I’m very sure. Please, take me to bed.”
* * * *
Julián didn’t know if he hadn’t made the biggest mistake of his life, coming here to Lusty. He’d felt itchy and edgy the moment he’d stepped out of his truck at the Benedicts’ ranch. Of course, the reason for that feeling and his doubts was right there in his sights. Here he was, about to visit a man he hadn’t seen in five years, a man he never should have lost touch with but had because of his own arrogance and unbending, false morality.
You’ve done a hell of a lot of shit that required a hell of a lot more nerve than knocking on that door up there. He hadn’t lied when he’d laid his past out for the Benedicts. Five years ago when he’d suffered an angina attack at the ripe old age of thirty, he’d known he had to make some serious changes in his life, and lifestyle.
He’d spent all of his adult years up until then in denial. He’d denied his Hispanic heritage, he’d denied his Texas roots, and he’d denied his true heart. He’d been spending the last five years cleaning all the bullshit out of his life. He’d begun by turning his back on what his so-called friends, the movers and the shakers, had come to expect of him and set out to discover who he really was. He’d come to understand that he needed very badly to know the heart and mind and soul of Julián Alvarez.
At the beginning of this journey of self-discovery he’d set out upon, it hadn’t taken him long to understand who he’d become, and he didn’t like any of it. He’d been a greedy venture capitalist, pursuing the biggest and the best deal. He’d been a disaffected son, who rarely gave thought to his parents, and when he did, made the contact as limited and as sterile as possible.
And to one sibling, especially, he’d been a piss-poor brother.
He had come a long way in the last five years, but he had a ways left to go.
The next part of my journey is right over there at the end of that lane, behind the walls of that very nice-looking house.
He hadn’t called ahead, because he was afraid. Afraid he’d be told to fuck off—which he deserved. If he was told that now in person, he’d take it as his just deserts.
But he’d had to come here tonight. He didn’t want his youngest brother to hear about him being in the area through gossip—or through his brother’s new Benedict cousins.
He pulled his Ford into the driveway behind an Audi, a Buick, and an ancient Crown Vic.
I don’t need to ask which vehicle is Peter’s. The Alvarez men are partial to Fords. He was stalling and he knew it. He and Peter hadn’t parted on very friendly terms. They’d had a bit of a dustup, the two of them, and Julián wished he could say that his cause had been just. But he’d been pissed that his brother was becoming a cop, and really pissed to find out he was bisexual.
He’d gotten over both since. He respected cops and was, thank God, no longer homophobic. I’m not as much of an asshole as I was. Fuck, nearly thirty-six and I’m a fucking work in progress, instead of a man fully grown.
“Here goes nothing.” The words slipped from his lips as he got out of his truck, walked to the door, raised his fist, and knocked.
The woman who answered his summons was of medium height, her light blonde hair caught up in a ponytail high on the back of her head. Face free of makeup, blue eyes twinkling, and sporting pretty little bare feet with her toenails painted hot pink, she was about the cutest thing he’d ever seen.
He couldn’t help but return her smile.
“Hello. Can I help you?” Her head cocked to the side. He could tell by the look in her eyes she saw a resemblance to someone she knew.
Julián pulled his hat off, only just remembering he’d had it on.
“Yes, ma’am. Is Peter home?”
He sensed movement further back in the room and looked up, and felt everything inside him go completely still. In college, his brother had grown a mustache and beard that he’d kept trimmed close, claiming it made him irresistible. Of course, he hadn’t been quite as tall or filled out then as he was now.
The years—all five of them—had been very good to him.
He watched his brother’s eyes, awaiting recognition, wondering if it would be welcome he’d see there, or something more foreboding and darker.
He knew in his heart he really deserved the latter.
Peter blinked, and his eyes widened in surprise. “My God, I don’t believe it! Julián?” He stepped closer as if he really couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Hello, Peter.”
“Julián!” He had no more time to wonder about his welcome, because his brother was there, enveloping him in a hug that nearly stole his breath, it was so fierce.
Shocked and humbled, Julián returned the embrace, even as he realized his brother had used the Hispanic pronunciation of his name he was now using himself.
Peter stepped back, grinning, then looked him up and down. “You look great! Different without the label suits, and hey, what’s this I see?” Peter tugged at his hair. “You’re letting it get long.”
“Yeah, but it’s a pain in the ass when it’s hot out,” Julián said. Then he looked over at the woman who opened the door. “Beg pardon, ma’am.”
Peter snagged the woman and pulled her close. “Blondie, this is my brother, Julián. Bro, this is my wife, Tracy.”
“We have company?”
The man who came into the kitchen matched his brother in height, but his brown hair held a shimmer of red, and his brown eyes looked at both Peter and Tracy with love.
Peter said, “Babe, come meet my brother.” Then he turned to Julián. “This is Jordan, my husband.”
Julián extended his hand to Jordan Kendall. “I’m very pleased to meet you.”
“We were just about to sit down to dinner,” Tracy said. “There’s plenty. Please join us.”
“I don’t want to intrude on your family time.”
Jordan tilted his head to the side. “You’re not. You’re family, too. Aren’t you?”
; Julián looked at his brother, and saw only acceptance in his eyes. Strangely, Peter’s acceptance freed him to be completely honest. “I don’t deserve to be. I owe you more than one apology, for being an older brother with an intolerant and superior attitude. I’m sorry, and I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“Of course I forgive you. You’re my brother and I love you. And for the record, I was a younger brother who was a little shit. Do you forgive me?”
Julián felt his throat tighten. He felt his eyes sting and had no shame of his tears. “There’s nothing to forgive. I love you, too.”
His brother embraced him again, and for the first time in a long, long time Julián felt good.
When they released each other, he looked over at Tracy in time to see her wipe her eyes. “Y’all will have to forgive me. I am so damn hormonal lately. Now come and eat before I give it to the dog.” She turned and more or less marched further into the house.
Peter grinned then looked at Julián. “We don’t have a dog. She’s pregnant, and very emotional these days.”
“Pregnant? Congratulations…to all of you!”
Jordan laughed. “To the uninitiated, I’m sure our family dynamic is confusing as hell. Peter and I will share the title of father, just as we share the title of husband to our wife.”
Julián looked from Jordan to Peter. He really was okay with his brother’s lifestyle. Peter had always been true to his own self, and that was an ideal Julián was shooting for, too. He said, “You all seem happy. I think that’s really all that should count.”
“So.” Peter put his arm around his shoulders as he led him to the kitchen, and Julián liked the feel of that. “We have lots of room here, if you’re interested in bunking down with us.”
“Actually I have a place to stay…and a job. Well—my new bosses and I are giving each other a two-month trial period.”
“You’re working near here?”
They entered the kitchen. Tracy had already set another place at the table, and was taking a roast pan from the oven. He could smell the succulent aroma of roast beef, and his stomach growled.
“Smells good.”
“Wait until you taste it,” Peter said. “Tracy’s a wonderful chef. But her specialty is desserts.”
Tracy made a sound that resembled a snort. “I have to make cream puffs in secret or all of Jordan’s brothers come over with their mouths drooling.”
“All of your brothers?” Julián looked over at the other man.
“I have four. Henry, especially, is addicted to Tracy’s pastries. She’s the pastry chef at the restaurant in town, Lusty Appetites.”
“Good name for a restaurant.” Julián sat down at the table, and then turned to his brother. “I’m sorry, I didn’t finish answering your question. I took the position as lead hand over at the new Benedict Ranch.”
“Chase and Brian?” Peter asked.
“Yes. They’ve got a pretty good business plan. It’s just a matter of taking what’s on paper and helping them deal with the reality once they begin to implement their plans.”
“And you’re giving each other two months?” Peter looked at him, one eyebrow raised.
Julián shrugged. “It may sound odd that at nearly thirty-six I’m still looking for my place in this world…but there you have it. I don’t know if this is my place, or not. I figure after a couple of months, I’ll know for sure.”
“I don’t think that sounds odd at all,” Tracy said.
“I agree.” Peter passed him the rice casserole that Tracy had made to accompany the beef. “It’s never too late to make a change for the better.”
“I’ve done that,” Julián said. He met Peter’s gaze. “I’ve discovered things I’m as good at as I was all the stuff on Wall Street. And I’m happier—and healthier.”
“Our sister thought there might have been some health issues at the bottom of your complete renaissance.”
Renaissance. Trust Peter to find just the right word to describe what he’d been through the last few years.
He said, “Nora always was insightful. To clarify, I wasn’t sick, but I was headed in that direction.”
“We stopped in on our way back from our honeymoon to visit your parents,” Jordan said. “We got to meet Nora and her husband, as well as your brother, Sebastian.”
“Paolo is still out in Los Angeles,” Peter said. “Still writing screenplays, from all I’ve heard.”
Julián grinned, and man, it felt good to smile. “Funny that the writer in the family never has time to write—or even send an e-mail.”
“How did you get the job with the twins?” Jordan shrugged. “There’re so many Benedicts, Kendalls, and Jessops around, sometimes we give ’em nicknames.”
“You know, I’ve noticed we do that more with the Benedicts than we do Kendalls,” Tracy said. “You’ve got the twins and their brothers, the triplets. Then their cousins, the geeks.”
Jordan laughed. “They’ve always called Morgan and Henry Flyboys, Adam the law, Jake the legal eagle, and me—wait for it—the stud.”
“Referencing the fact you’re a contractor, darling.”
“True, but there’s more of them than there are us.”
“That’s only because all of your cousins left town.”
“True.”
Julián felt like a spectator at a tennis match. Peter said, “You’ll get used to it.” Then he grinned. “So you’re here, in Lusty, for now.”
“Yeah. After, we’ll see. I don’t know how to explain it, but in the last year or so I’ve come to believe that when I find my place, I’ll know it.”
Peter looked at Jordan, and then Tracy, before he returned his gaze to Julián. “You don’t have to explain that at all,” he said. “That’s something we all three understand quite well.”
Chapter 7
When she’d arrived at the ranch that afternoon, Carrie had no idea of the true definition of the word “seduction.” How could she have known that it would have so many nuances and facets?
She’d asked them to make love to her. Chase and Brian each kissed her sweetly, and then they took her inside. But they didn’t take her to the sofa where they could snuggle and cuddle, or to the bed where they could make love.
They took her, instead, into the kitchen.
The men poured her a glass of wine, and then set about to make a simple dinner. The kitchen featured an indoor grill, and between them they grilled steaks and tossed a salad. They wouldn’t let her do a thing except sit, relax, and sip.
Before she could do so, Chase cut a piece from her steak, speared it with his fork, and brought it to her lips. Brian repeated the gesture a few moments later, serving her a second small bite of the beef. The salad she fed herself, but the meat they fed her, and she thought the entire process sexy as hell.
“You didn’t eat much, darlin’,” Brian said when she refused another bite.
As she’d eaten, as she’d traded heated looks with both Chase and Brian. The embers of her arousal, never cold when she was near them, had begun to smolder and burn. “It’s not food I hunger for.”
She noticed the heat flare in their eyes, and couldn’t help but be aware of their erect cocks pushing against the denim of their jeans.
They wanted her, of that she had no doubts. Yet still, they didn’t take her to their bed.
The men tidied the kitchen, setting the dishes into the dishwasher. Then they led her back into the newly refurbished parlor.
She hadn’t noticed they’d included a sound system with their furniture selections. Compact and expensive, the device soon filled the room with a sweet, soulful beat.
“I didn’t know you liked jazz.” She listened to some occasionally herself, though she preferred some rock and a lot of country.
“We’ve eclectic tastes,” Chase said. He grinned at her in that way he had, so that his eyes glittered.
Brian dimmed the lights. The new sofa felt far more comfortable than the old one had been, but she didn’t get to enjoy t
he feel of it for long. Chase scooped her onto his lap, as he often did, so that she faced Brian as he snuggled her close.
Brian pulled her shoes off and dropped them on the floor. He’d gotten awfully good at giving her foot massages. Sometimes, after a hectic day, she made sounds that even to her resembled orgasmic bliss. He set to work on her instep, and she felt herself melt.
Carrie sighed and settled in for her nightly dose of tender snuggling and slow, drugging kisses.
Chase turned her face up to his, and she opened to him, eager to drink in the taste of him, to have his heat fill her body and his essence fill her soul. Until these men, kissing had never turned her on. It did now, and as her tongue did a sweet, slow salsa with Chase’s, her hunger for these men grew.
His flavor drenched her as the heat of his body surrounded her. His lips, hot and moist on hers, wooed her, weakened her, and made her crave more.
He cupped her face in one hand as he eased his lips from hers. “You worried that telling us about your past would change how we feel about you. Nothing could keep us from loving you, sweet Carrie. But we are worried. We don’t want to frighten you, or bring back bad memories. You have to tell us if that starts to happen. We’ll understand, we both promise you that.”
“We only want to pleasure you, darlin’, and cherish you. It would kill us to cause you pain of any kind. You’re precious to us.”
Carrie shook her head as she blinked back her tears. Who knew that men such as these even existed? “Nothing you’ve ever done reminds me of what happened.” She’d never had any counseling, but she’d done some research. The Internet was good for more than just playing games. “That wasn’t sex, what he did to me. That was violence, period.” She met Chase’s gaze, and then Brian’s. She needed them to see she was being honest with them. There would be no more hiding, even if that hiding seemed the safer, wiser choice. “The one lover I chose, I think I was trying to prove a point to myself because while I liked him, I didn’t love him. Nothing we did together brought on any fears—or much else, really. He never gave me a tenth of the pleasure you both have already given me so many times.”
Love Under Two Cowboys [The Lusty, Texas Collection] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 8