by Jess Dee
“I’m fine,” she assured the gallery owner. “Just nervous about the showing.”
He deserved a freaking knife. How dare he stampede back into her life like he had, make her fall in love with him all over again, and then vanish?
Valerie patted her hand. “You’ll be fine. Better than fine. By tomorrow this time, you’ll be famous. The talk of Sydney. Every discerning art collector in the city will be clamoring to purchase a Tina Jenkins original.”
Tina smiled at Valerie. She might be bossy, opinionated and over the top, but Tina had come to adore her. “Thank you again for doing this. This is an opportunity of a lifetime.”
Valerie brushed off her gratitude. “I’m only doing it because you’re going to make me a lot of money. It’s Gabriel you owe your thanks to.” Before Tina had a chance to respond, Valerie stood and shuffled her out of the office. “And now I have to meet the caterers and ensure everything is set up for your debut.” She air-kissed Tina’s cheeks. “Go make yourself beautiful for tonight. I will see you later.”
Dumped by Gabe and tossed out by Valerie. Just great. Tina felt about as wanted as swine flu. She went home to sulk.
When she arrived there however, she was diverted from her undertaking. Sitting on the front steps leading up to her building were Connor and Maddie.
She stared at them, incredulous. “It’s like stepping into a caricature of my life. Everything’s familiar, yet nothing is right.”
Connor grinned and patted the step beside him. “Sit, T,” he invited. “We just came by to say hello. That’s all.”
She eyed him with suspicion. Oh no. No way. Not eight weeks ago she’d gone down this exact road with Gabe. He’d also just stopped by to say hello. Then he’d proceeded to sweep her off her feet. Look where that had gotten her? Nowhere. She was as miserable now as she had been four years ago. No way was she going that route with Connor.
“I am not going to sleep with you,” she told him before turning to face Maddie. “Or you for that matter.” She turned back to Connor and folded her arms. “We tried it once. It didn’t work. I’m not exploring the scenario again.”
Connor let out a full-bellied guffaw while Maddie stifled a laugh.
“That’s not why we’re here,” Connor assured her when he stopped chuckling.
“Oh.” Tina had the grace to blush. “Ah. So, uh, why are you here?”
“To discuss Gabe,” Connor said.
Tina flashed him her sweetest smile. “Oh, lovely. Let’s chat, shall we? Maybe then you can pry my fingernails off with a screwdriver. It should be just as much fun.”
Maddie gave her a sympathetic look, and Tina found herself warming to the other woman. Awkward circumstances aside, Maddie seemed nice.
Belatedly, Tina took Connor up on his invitation and sat on the step beside him with a sigh. “Okay,” she said, this time without sarcasm. “Let’s talk about Gabe.”
“He’s miserable,” Connor told her.
“Good,” Tina answered. So was she. And she was miserable because of Gabe, so she was glad he was miserable too.
“He looks a little like you do,” Connor said.
Tina raised an eyebrow. “Short and blonde?”
He gave her a quick grin. “No. Unhappy, dejected and pissed off.”
Tina studied her shoes. “Why are you telling me this, C?”
“Because I haven’t seen Gabe like this in a long time, and it worries me.”
She grimaced. “He’s a big boy. He can look after himself.”
“He’s crazy about you, Tina,” Maddie said. “Head over heels, madly in love with you.”
“Yeah?” She pictured herself frantically seeking Gabe’s mouth as he fucked her with his fingers, craving his kiss, his love, his affection—and finding nothing but his cold rejection. She gave Maddie a dubious look. “Well, he sure has a funny way of showing it.”
“Cut him some slack, T,” Connor said. “You know that talking things out isn’t one of Gabe’s strengths.”
Tina looked at him, pretty sure he had no clue just how deeply Gabe’s rejection had cut her. “Yes, I’m well aware of that. But not one word in over a week is perhaps taking his weakness a little too far, don’t you think?”
“I think he’s hurting,” Maddie said.
Good. She bit her lip.
“I think you’re hurting too,” Maddie added, all too insightfully for Tina’s peace of mind. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Tina couldn’t hold back her dubious look. Maddie, the current lover of her ex-boyfriend and the ex-lover of her current boyfriend—well, current up until a week ago, anyway—was offering her a friendly ear.
Maddie smiled. “Yeah, I know. It’s weird. You and me talking like this, pretending to be friends, when, well…” She motioned to Connor and then to herself, then included Tina in her gestures. “When, you know, we hardly know each other, yet have all this shared history. It’s a little odd.”
Tina snorted. “A little?”
“Okay,” Maddie snorted back. “A lot.”
“I’ll just give you ladies some space on this one.” Connor shifted up a step.
Maddie caught her eye and grinned. Tina grinned back and found herself liking Maddie even more. Under different circumstances she suspected the two of them might have made great friends.
“Did something happen between the two of you?” Maddie asked. “You looked so happy together when we saw you at the restaurant last week, and then, minutes after we joined you, that all seemed to change.”
Tina should have found Maddie’s question a little too…brazen, but she didn’t. It was difficult to take offense to her in any way. She sighed. “We were getting on well, and then we weren’t,” she agreed. “The only thing that changed was that you joined us.”
Maddie said nothing, just let Tina’s response hang between them.
“His entire demeanor was different after that.” Tina thought out loud. Gabe had turned from an attentive, sexy date to a sad, aloof, cold stranger. “It was like seeing you switched a button in his personality.”
From there her mind wandered to the only logical conclusion she could think of—and God help her, she wished it hadn’t. She hated the conclusion. Despised it. “He’s in love with you, isn’t he?” she asked Maddie.
Maddie’s jaw dropped.
Tina began to tremble. “You know,” she said, clasping her hands in her lap and listening to her heart break in two, “he said he was okay with you and Connor being together. He seemed so cool about the whole situation, and I believed him.” She’d been wrong. Gabe was far from cool. He was all twisted up inside, and she’d only noticed when Connor and Maddie had interrupted their meal. But then that was the first time she could have noticed. It was the first time she’d seen them together. “He told me he’d given you his blessing,” she said to Connor, hoping he couldn’t see the utter desolation that was tearing her apart. “He even said he was happy for you guys.” She’d taken his words at face value. What an idiot he must think her. “He must have lied to protect you both from his real feelings.”
Connor made a strange, choking sound, before wheezing out a baffled, “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, C, it all makes sense now, don’t you see? How could Gabe pretend to be interested in me when the real owner of his heart was nearby?” Damn it, why was the revelation so difficult to accept? Why did it make her chest clench in agony and her throat close up in grief?
Connor looked at her in disbelief. “You know, if I wasn’t so fond of you, I’d attempt to beat some sense into you.”
Tina grabbed his thigh—the closest of his body parts—and gave it a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry, C. Shit, this must be awful for you too. Knowing you and Gabe are both in love with the same woman.”
He rolled his eyes. “If Gabe loved Maddie he’d be with her right now. He’d never have made the same mistake twice. He let you go. He wouldn’t have let Maddie go.”
“But he did,” Tina argued. “H
e did it for you.”
“Gabe’s a good guy. The best I know. But he’s not a saint. He gave Maddie and me his blessing because he wanted you, not her.”
Christ, Tina wished that were true. Wished with all her heart. But she couldn’t bring herself to believe it. Not after the way Gabe had behaved in that bathroom.
“Tina,” Maddie said, “I can assure you Gabe has no romantic feelings towards me. He never has. What we shared was sex. End of story.”
It might be the end of the story for Maddie, but the thought of Gabe having sex with another woman—a woman he loved—made Tina want to throw up.
Maddie must have noticed her distress. “The only woman he’s loved in the past four years is you.”
Tina shook her head. “Then why would he have gotten so angry when you arrived at the restaurant?”
Maddie bit her lip. “I don’t think it was my arrival that angered him.” She shifted her gaze to Connor.
Tina frowned. “You think it was Connor’s?” Huh? “Why would Gabe be upset about seeing his best friend?”
Maddie said nothing. She tilted her head and looked at Tina’s hand where it rested on Connor’s thigh.
Tina looked at her hand too. Then she looked at the leg beneath her hand and got distracted. Oh, dear Lord, her hand was on Connor’s leg! Connor—her ex-lover.
She stared at her hand, dazed, waiting for sparks of electricity to shoot through her, burning her palm where it clasped his thigh.
Nothing happened.
She waited a little longer.
Still nothing.
She shifted around and switched hands.
Nothing. She was gripping Connor’s leg and she felt…nothing. Nothing! No increased heart rate, no tug of arousal, no difficulty breathing. Not even a tiny leap in her belly.
Connor sat without saying a word.
She peered up at his face, searching the features she’d always found so endearing. When her gaze settled on his beautiful blue eyes she almost gasped out loud.
She felt nothing.
And yet when Gabe touched her, looked at her…
“Oh, good grief!” How could she not have grasped the truth before? How could she have been so blind as to not see what was so obvious now?
“T?” Connor’s eyes narrowed in concern. “You okay?”
She didn’t answer, just kept staring as reality barreled through her.
“T?” Connor said again.
“I don’t love you,” Tina told him.
Connor looked somewhat taken aback.
“I never did,” she said, knocked sideways by the fact.
He gave her an uncertain smile. “It doesn’t happen often, but right now, I’m not sure what to say.”
“Don’t say anything,” the sage Maddie offered. “Just let Tina talk.”
Tina offered him a shy smile. “I’m sorry. I know that sounds terrible, but I’m just realizing…” Oops. Maybe this was too much information.
“Realizing what, T?”
It wasn’t fair to dump all this on Connor. She needed to sort it out in her own head first.
When she didn’t answer him, Connor said to her, “T, I’ve seen you buck naked, on your knees, making love to me and Gabe at the same time. You think it might be a little late for inhibitions? Just say what you need to say.”
“Connor!” Tina blushed scarlet and looked at Maddie, mortified.
Maddie rushed in to reassure her. “Don’t worry. He’s pretty much seen me the same way. Just say it. Whatever it is, he can take it.”
Tina couldn’t help but smile at her. “No wonder Gabe and Connor love you. You’re cool.”
Maddie frowned. “Gabe doesn’t love me.”
“And Tina doesn’t love me.” Connor said, steering the conversation back to her incredulous discovery.
“I don’t,” she agreed. “I never did.”
“So, what are you only just realizing?” Connor prompted her.
“That it was Gabe all along.”
“What was?”
“He was the one I loved. Not you. I just couldn’t see it then. I couldn’t separate the two of you.” She smacked her forehead. “God, how could I have been so blind? How could I not have comprehended this years ago?”
“If it helps, I was blinded by them both as well,” Maddie confessed. “It took me a while to work out Connor was the one, not Gabe.”
“But they’re so…so different.”
“Yeah,” Maddie agreed, “but together they make quite a team.”
“It was the teamwork that did it. That’s what confused me.” Tina turned to stare at Connor as if seeing him for the first time. In a way, she was. She was seeing him through clear eyes, eyes no longer tinted by the misconception of love. Sure, he was gorgeous, but still… “I don’t love you,” she told him, still befuddled by her comprehension. “You just had me thinking I did because you were so darned good in bed.”
“He is good, isn’t he?” Maddie concurred.
“Yeah, and with Gabe, well the two of them…”
“I know.” Maddie nodded. “Believe me, I know.”
“But it’s not just about sex, is it?” Tina asked Maddie.
“It’s about love.”
“And without love, the sex isn’t enough.”
Maddie gazed at Connor. “But with love…”
Tina dropped her head in her hands. With love everything was different.
Which explained why sex with Connor had gone from good to stupendous when Gabe entered the picture. It had nothing to do with Connor and everything to do with Gabe.
No wonder she and Connor couldn’t make it alone after Gabe had left. The magic hadn’t been with Connor, it had been with Gabe.
And no bloody wonder it had taken all of a couple of hours of seeing Gabe again before she’d tumbled, ass first, into bed with him. She still loved him. She’d never stopped.
Sweet Heaven. She loved Gabe. Only Gabe. No one else but Gabe. She’d fallen head over heels in love with him the minute Connor introduced them.
“I love Gabe,” she told Connor and Maddie. “I do.”
Connor gave her an encouraging nod. “That’s good. Very good. But maybe you should tell him this?”
“Maybe I should,” Tina concurred, keen to seek Gabe out and share her wondrous revelation with him.
Then her heart sank. Gabe had walked away from her. Why on earth would he want to hear she loved him? “Or maybe not,” she said listlessly. “Doesn’t really matter what I feel about him. Gabe doesn’t feel the same. Not after Friday night.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, you still don’t get it, do you?” Maddie asked, raising her voice for the first time. “Gabe feels the same way. The reason his behavior changed on Friday night was because Connor sat down next to you. He thinks you’re in love with his best friend—and it’s killing him.”
***
Gabe slumped on his couch in the darkened living room. The blinds were drawn and the lights turned off. Sound blared from the TV, but Gabe had no idea what program was on.
His gut hurt something rotten, and the glow from the screen stung his eyes. He considered switching the TV off but couldn’t be bothered. It required too much effort.
He stared at the unopened bottle of Absolut Vodka on the table in front of him. He should open it and have a sip. Have a glass. Have the whole fucking bottle. He should get pissed on the stuff. But he couldn’t be bothered. Too much effort.
He halfheartedly thought of phoning through for some home delivery. Maybe Thai. Maybe pizza. In the end he couldn’t be bothered. Too much effort.
And when the bell rang he even rallied with the idea of opening the door but didn’t. Too much fucking effort.
He was through making an effort. He was through bothering. He’d spent two months pouring his heart into making an effort with Tina, and look where that had got him.
Absofuckinglutely nowhere.
She’d taken one look at Connor and her eyes had blazed with the same desire
Gabe had begun to believe she’d reserved just for him.
How fucking wrong could he have been? How fucking stupid? Yep, he did believe Tina loved him. Just like she had before. As half of a whole. Half of Connor and Gabe. And watching her watching Connor just verified that for him.
Alone, Gabe still wasn’t man enough for her.
The bell rang again and again. Whoever stood outside was one persistent fucker. Still, persistence wasn’t enough to get Gabe’s ass off the couch. Perhaps if he’d been more of a man, like Tina needed, he would have made it to the door.
Fuck.
Gabe dropped his head back and closed his eyes. After a time the ringing stopped. Maybe the hurting would stop too. Nah. Probably not. If it hadn’t quit for four years, it sure wouldn’t quit now.
With that agonizing thought, Gabe willed himself to sleep. At least the oblivion of unconsciousness would be more tolerable than the continual obsession about the woman he loved and his failure to please her.
***
A flood of icy water hit his face, shocking him awake.
“What the fuck?” he gasped as he scrambled to his feet.
Cold droplets splattered down his nose and onto his chest, wetting whatever parts of his shirt hadn’t been soaked in the initial onslaught.
“That was for refusing to kiss me on Friday night,” a biting female voice informed him.
“This is for walking away from me. Again.” Another icy shower hit him, this time from behind, drenching his hair, neck and shoulders. He swung around to face his attacker, opened his mouth to yell and was met with a third frigid blast of water. He swallowed at least half of it, choking in the process.
“That one is for even thinking about not showing up to hold my hand on the most important night of my life.”
A blast of wind tore through the room, doubling Gabe’s sodden discomfort.
“And this one—” yet another torrent of liquid hit him, “—is just because you pissed me off.”
She nodded with grim satisfaction, walked onto the balcony—through a door that Gabe had not remembered leaving open—switched the tap off and wound the hosepipe back into place. Demurely she told him, “It’s cold out here. I’d hate for you to get sick.” Then she pulled the blind down, slid the door closed behind her—and vanished.