Fuck that girl. That’s the problem. I want to fuck, steal, and keep that girl. Goddammit.
“Do you like that?” she purrs, trying to kiss my neck, but I push her face away and undo the string of my grey sweatpants to give her room as I shove her hand in.
“Jerk me off.”
She wraps her hand around my soft cock and starts to beat it up and down, brushing her tits against me, but it does nothing. Fucking nothing. Come on. Are you fucking kidding me? This asshole dick of mine is going to lie there at half chub and pretend we aren’t about to get worked over. Traitor. I could sit here and power through—instinct will take over and I could fuck Laura until I’m spent—but goddamn, I don’t want to.
This is Donovan’s fault. Motherfucker.
My hand shoots out, grabbing Laura by the wrist and removing her hand from my cock.
“As much fun as this isn’t…I’m good.”
I pull out my phone from my pocket and swipe it open.
“What are you doing? Let me blow you, but you can’t tell anyone, okay.”
Is this chick serious? I glance up, spying the address of the nearby Taco Bell. My thumbs speedily type onto my phone before answering.
“Laura, go find some self-respect. Get out.”
When she doesn’t move, I lean over and unlock the door, pushing it open, and stare at her again.
“Excuse me? I’m offering you head, and you’re kicking me out?”
“Yes. Your Uber will be here in two minutes.”
She slams the door and turns back. “I guess she was right. Trying on her shoes doesn’t make me Cinderella.”
My teeth grind together as I peel out, making a U-turn, and head back for the only logical answer to solve my problem.
Donovan Kennedy.
I pull into the lot to see that it’s empty; everyone is gone. Grabbing my phone from my lap, I dial Liam, listening to the ringing before he answers.
“Where the fuck did you disap—”
“Is she with you?”
“Who?”
“Don’t be an asshole. You know who.”
“That’s not your business. Take it like a man, Grey.”
“Don’t count your W yet, Liam.”
There’s a long beat of silence between us, and I know he’s feeling the same thing I am—worry. Now I understand how empires are wagered and lost. Kingdoms destroyed. All over a woman.
“Are we good?” Liam asks, filling the silence.
“Yeah.”
I mean that. But I know it the moment I say it, not before. And I’m not sure how long it’ll last the further we fall. Just give up, Liam.
He gives a half laugh. “I won’t give up. You know that, right?”
Fucking Liam. Always manages to know exactly what I’m thinking. My shoulders rise as I answer, gripping the wheel harder as I pull out of the lot.
“I won’t lose. You know that.”
“You already did.”
The line disconnects, and I toss the phone onto the seat. Liam’s premature celebration doesn’t matter because I’ve gotten what I was after. There’s no fucking way she’s with him. He wouldn’t have said any of that in front of Donovan.
It looks like I’m storming the castle.
Pulling out into traffic quickly, I speed down the road, uncaring and aggressive, garnering a few horns. My middle finger raises as my speed kicks up, and I weave around people fueled by my mission.
This is bullshit. Donovan’s been with me in this attraction since day one. All the flirting, the connection—it was me she dreamed of. I’m not inventing it. It’s there, wrapped continuously around us. I saw her face when I put Laura in my car. She was furious. I recognized the look because it’s precisely what I felt when she walked out from behind the tree.
That fucking tree. I should burn it down.
The city lights glow bright around me as I exit the tunnel and continue cutting around the other cars. Why even bother to fucking kiss me when you’re going to whore around with that asshole? I’m the one you want, Cherry. If this is another fucking game to punish me, I’m gonna make her pay a high price for my forgiveness.
Donovan’s cut me with every rejection, then pushed the knife in when planning the stupid bet, but she twisted it in my gut like Judas when she gave away what’s mine to Liam.
My fucking lips. My fucking kiss.
Her building comes into view, and my foot hits the pedal harder. I speed around a white Volvo and cut off another car, pulling up to her home with screeching tires. My body jolts when my right front tire hits the curb as I throw the car in park.
I’m vibrating, I’m so fucking pissed. I toss my door open, not bothering to close it, and throw the keys to the approaching doorman.
“Fix it.”
He looks taken aback as the keys land in his hands, and I’m sure he’s wondering what the fuck’s going on, but I don’t care. I push the glass doors open, storming straight past the concierge and into the elevator. My palm viciously smacks the button for her floor, but nothing happens.
Fuck. Key card.
I lean my head out between the steel doors, gripping the frame, and bellow, “Grey McCallister for Donovan Fucking Kennedy!”
My pressed lips hold my breath captive, the only means of escape being my nostrils, which are flared and pushing out air like a bull. Heels click across the tiled floor quickly as a woman from the staff ducks into the elevator shaft, waving a card in front of a tiny mounted reader, and presses the button for the top level. She steps out, the doors close, and I’m lifted.
I finally open my mouth, letting out a heavy breath and running my hand through my hair. And even after what Donovan did, the nerve in her expression when Laura got into the car. She kisses Liam, then has a fucking opinion about what I do?
No, Cherry. We aren’t playing these games.
The ding sounds, and I slap the inner door, wanting it to open faster. I don’t even wait for it to completely open before I slide through, stepping out into the entryway that leads to her front door.
I walk past a large table, with an audacious flower arrangement that smells too sweet, and ring the bell once. When it’s not answered quickly enough, I press it over and over and over until a very flustered butler opens with a scowl.
“Where is she?”
My words are less than polite as I push past him and make my way inside, toward the staircase. He spins, pulling his robe tighter.
“Excuse me, Mr. McCallister. It’s very late. I will call security if need be.”
“Call them. Make sure to say ‘Grey McCallister broke into the building his family owns.’ And butler, I didn’t ask for the fucking time. Is she in her room?”
His blank stare serves as a deterrent about as much as his bullshit threat. I head upstairs, gripping the rail as I turn to the hallway and stalk toward her door. Grabbing the handle, I throw her door open. I’m past the point of reason, unhinged and ready to ruin my best friend’s life. And by best friend I mean Donovan.
The door bounces off the wall and back into my waiting palm. Her big blue eyes swing my way, looking at me like I’m insane from where’s she standing in the doorway of her closet.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I came to ask you the same.”
Donovan
“GET OUT.”
“Make me.”
My heart is beating so fast I’m scared it’ll explode in my chest. We stand there glaring at each other, Grey’s jaw tensed and my eyes narrowed. He’s here for a fight, and after watching him leave with Laura, I’m ready for war.
Grey swings the door closed, but Victor is standing behind him and stops it, clearing his throat.
“Miss, I apologize. I realize it’s late. May I escort your guest out?”
Grey’s dark eyes challenge me. There’s nothing he’d like more than for me to try. I hold up my hand, reassuring Victor, and shake my head.
“Thanks for the backup, Vic, but I can handle the likes of Grey.”
An empty laugh leaves Grey as he takes a few more steps inside my room.
“Very well. I’ll be just downstairs.”
I nod and walk past Grey, shooting daggers at him, to close the door as Victor leaves. My eyes stay trained on the smooth wooden door as I close it gently, the click serving as the bell in a prizefight.
“Why are you here, Grey?”
I try to keep my voice quiet and calm, but he’s so filled with anger that I can feel it emanating off him, even with the ten feet that separate us. It’s knocking into me like waves crashing onto a rocky wall.
“I want to know what the fuck you think you’re doing? And I want a goddamn answer, Donovan.”
He wants? He wants? Fuck what he wants.
I swallow before I turn around and look at Grey. He’s wild, untamed. A crazed version of the well-kept temperament he works so hard to display.
I should answer him, tell him everything that should stay a secret. Tell him that I hadn’t stopped thinking about our kiss even when Liam kissed me. That I wanted his rough hands on my body, so much so that I felt him through Liam’s touch. That I’m frightened to the bone, because I can already feel the devastation we’ll cause because I’m fairly certain I’m falling for the goddamn boy standing in front of me. Despite how hard I’m trying not to.
But I won’t say any of that. He lost his chance the moment he peeled out with that little redhead.
“What am I doing? I’m laying out my uniform for tomorrow.”
He picks up a chair and slams it back down, but only my eyes falter.
“Not the answer you were hoping for?”
I push off the door and storm back toward my closet.
“Cut the shit,” he barks, grabbing my arm.
I jerk it away, cutting my eyes at him. “What shit? What shit, Grey? Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be balls-deep in an easy little redhead?”
His head tips back as he runs both hands through his hair. “Yeah. I should be. I wanted to be—to fuck you right out of my system, but I’m here. And I’m happy to see it ruffled your feathers.”
“I don’t care what you do.”
God, the lie is so obvious as I say it that I have to turn away from him.
“Sure, you don’t…about as much as I don’t care that you let Liam kiss you.”
Dick. I hate that my jealousy is obvious, but what I hate more is that I’m happy he’s miserable too. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out something that should remain unseen and unexplored—my craving for his attention.
“We’re friends. Why would you want me to be jealous?”
Grey walks around to face me, arms crossed over his chest, smug and mean.
“Don’t play coy, Cherry. It’s not remotely believable on you. Tell me why you kissed him.”
“To settle a bet.”
Grey steps in, towering over me, but I don’t step away. He takes my face in his steady hand whispering, “Bullshit,” as his thumb swipes over and across my lips roughly, like he’s trying to erase Liam from them. “Behind the tree. Why’d you kiss him again?”
I push against his wrist, but he doesn’t let me go until I push again. “Let go.” I turn my back to him and walk toward the window, wrapping myself in my arms, the tingle of guilt crawling up my spine.
“Why does it matter?”
“You fucking know why.”
“You and I are friends. Liam and I are friends. That’s it. It was a stupid kiss. I got caught up in the moment. It meant nothing.”
I’m a dirty, dirty liar. I liked Liam’s kiss. I like Liam, but Grey is different. He’s like an affliction I can’t rid myself of. He’s everywhere—inside my head, and running through my body. He makes me feel unnerved and dangerous, and that scares me to death.
“Lie to yourself. Don’t lie to me. I saw your face. You liked the taste of him.”
His voice is cutting and deep. God, I hate him, and I don’t know if it’s because Grey so easily sees through me or that his voice is so loud in my head that I’m forced to see myself. I swing around angry, stupid, and childish, pointing a finger at him.
“This bullshit is why I said you didn’t have a chance the first day I saw you. We aren’t doing this.” My hand motions between us. “Everything now…my past…I’m more than complicated, Grey. I don’t need this.” I’m not the kind of girl you should fall in love with.
“I don’t care what the fuck you’ve done or what you’re scared of. I want you.”
He reaches for me, and everything inside of me wants to step in, but I do the opposite.
“You say that now. But when I get my claws in, you’ll regret every fucking minute as I tear you apart. Trust me.” A harsh breath leaves me as I run my hands through my hair. “I’ve fucked up so much that I couldn’t see my way through until I got back my friendship with you two. It’s the only damn thing I have that reminds me of the girl I am, or at least the one I want to be again. And I won’t ruin that, or lose it, not even for you.”
“I ruin your chance to be happy. Just me? Or Liam too?”
Just you. I don’t trust myself with Grey. He makes me feel as reckless and as wild as I’ve been over the last five years. I crave his attention. I’d do almost anything for it, and only the wrong boys do that.
“Enough. I won’t do this with you. It was a fucking peck. That’s all you and I shared. Nothing. Meaningless. Uneventful at best. Get over it so we can get back to being friends, Grey. I want to go back.”
“There is no going back!”
His words rumble from his chest, forcing me back a few more steps, eyes narrowed on him.
“Don’t say that. Stop it.”
He shakes his head at me, but I turn back around to stare at the lights shining out past my window to avoid his expression. I know we can’t uncross the lines; the wheels are in motion, heading straight for the damn cliff. Silence passes between us before his deep gravel fills the room again but calmer this time.
“I’m not your goddamn friend. You don’t want to cop to the kiss with Liam? Then tell me something else. Why kiss me, Donovan?”
I answer with a shrug, still refusing to look at him.
“Answer me, Donovan. Why’d you kiss me?”
“I don’t—”
My fingernails dig into the sides of my arms, willing me to keep my mouth shut as I squeeze my eyes shut, wanting this to just go away.
“Why?” His voice roars in the space, making my shoulders jump, but I still don’t turn around as I answer.
“I don’t know!”
He claps his hands, laughing. “Jesus. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I thought all of this was about punishing me for earlier, but this is about you. You don’t want to choose. You might be trying to change your life, live on the straight and narrow, but you’re still a spoiled little princess who wants her cake and to eat it too.”
Grey’s right. I don’t want to choose. I want to keep them both selfishly like a tyrant who rules over their hearts, unjustly expecting their devotion but never letting myself fall for one or the other. Except, I fell. So, now the shit’s more complicated.
The warmth of his body tells me he’s standing just behind as his words are said quietly and lethally into my hair. “If a taste test is what you’re after, I’m sure we can arrange some time to pass you back and forth since we missed out the first time.”
Motherfucker. My eyes shoot to his as I spin around, hateful, with belligerence ready to fire from my mouth. “Fuck you. Be careful, Grey. I was more than happy to take your pride today—don’t let your dignity be next.”
“Cherry, you better bring your A game because if you think I won’t make you walk through hell before I take you to heaven, you’re blonder than you look.”
“I hate you.” I seethe, glaring at him, but he whispers his words back to me arrogantly.
“You wish that were true.”
I clamp my mouth shut, not answering, and walk back to the door to open it for him to leave. He tilts his h
ead as I walk by, and the expression on his face makes me want to hurt him. I’m so angry. I want him gutted.
“You’re right, Grey. I don’t hate you. I just wish you were more like Liam. He didn’t have to bully me or yell at me. He simply asked for a kiss, and I was happy to please. And it was fucking amazing. Better than I remembered.”
I know what I’m saying, so the rage that’s marring Grey’s face as I pass by isn’t a surprise, but it does make me feel guiltier than I anticipated.
“You’ll have to keep wishing, because I’ll never ask for something that belongs to me.”
Yelling back over my shoulder, I take quicker steps as he follows me. “You don’t have any claim over me. I warned you a girl like me would ruin you. Take the hint because I’m throwing them like knives now.”
I yank my door open, but his palm slaps against the surface, slamming it closed just as fast. My breath catches, taken by surprise. “You’ll ruin me because you’re the villain? Nah, Cherry, that might be my favorite part about you. It makes you my equal. You can keep pretending you aren’t interested, but I’m not listening. Because I’m not asking if you’re into me, like Liam. I already know.”
Hold on, how did he know that happened?
Grey’s deep voice infiltrates my ears, his lips brushing the side of my hair. “Turn the fuck around and look me in the eye. If you’re going to pretend to be a badass, then play the part correctly. You can’t tell me you didn’t want more today, that you didn’t want to taste my mouth and feel my hands on your body. You can’t tell me that any part of you is thinking about Liam right now. But can you say the same when you were with him?”
My eyes open from being squeezed shut, and I turn around slowly, my shoulder brushing against the door, to lay my back on it.
“I’m the name you call when you’re scared and when you want to come. It’s me. It’s always fucking been me.”
There’s fire in my eyes and the stripped-down truth on my lips. The consequence of what I say next is on him. He makes me this way—honest and cruel.
“You make me forget myself and dive head-first into the worst kind of impulse. On paper, you’re the right boy, but I want you for all the wrong reasons. The possession I feel toward you scares me. You’re mine, Grey.”
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