by Lily Harlem
I pressed forward and touched my lips to his forehead. “And what about your dad? How do you think he’d take it? You’re close to him.”
“I’m sure he’d be surprised, shocked, probably upset, but despite his age he’s open-minded. One of his best friends has a gay son. He went to their wedding ceremony in Provincetown several years ago.”
I nodded. “Well, whatever I can do to help, just let me know.”
He slid his hands around my back, pulled me near and settled his cheek against my neck. “Thank you. But you know what they say?”
“What?”
“When the going gets tough the tough get going.”
“I guess so.” I stroked his hair, felt the soft strands tickle my chin and brush my lips. “I just don’t want you hurt.”
“I just feel lucky,” he whispered, his breath hot on my skin. “Years of sensing something, someone was missing from my life and here you were in New York all that time.”
“We’re both lucky,” I murmured. The lovely clean scent of his hair filtered into my nostrils and I squeezed him a little closer. The wide expanse of his shoulders were hard against my arms and his broad chest pressed snugly against my body. Holding Todd was a wonderful experience and hearing him murmur sweet declarations was nothing short of heavenly. How could people think this was wrong? How could us being together be worthy of dramatic headlines when so much else was going on in the world?
“Don’t go,” he said. “Stay tonight.”
I drew back and tilted his chin with my index finger. His eyes were sparkling, his brow creased.
“Are you sure?”
“No, I mean yes. I… No.”
“Shh, it’s okay.” I knew what was going through his mind. Hell, I felt the same. We wanted to be together, wanted to hold each other, but neither were ready for raw fucking. But that was fine, in fact it suited me. Because once I took him, showed him the strength of my feelings, I’d be vulnerable and there’d be no holding back from falling head over heels in love.
And look where that got me last time.
“It’s been a long time for me, you know, since Tony.” I smiled, enjoying being able to say his name without the usual shard of pain.
“It has?”
“Yeah, there’s been no one since.”
“Not even a one-night stand?”
“Nah. Not my thing.”
He looked away, toward our glasses on the table. “Matthew, I...”
His sudden lack of eye contact unnerved me. “What?”
“Last week, when I was in L.A., I hooked up with this girl. Cute, big lips, big tits, made me laugh from the minute we got talking. I was in a foul mood, not sleeping, snapping at everyone, and feeling an ass for the way we’d left it, so she was a welcome distraction.”
I pressed my hand over his cheek, turning him to face me. “What happened?”
“I took her back to my hotel room, you know, stripped her clothes off and got down to business. I needed to take my mind off all the shit that was going on in my head and fucking seemed the best solution.”
“And was it?”
“No, I couldn’t, Jesus Christ, for the first time ever I couldn’t, you know, get it up.”
I was silent. He’d kissed me only a few nights before bedding this girl. He’d certainly been getting it up then.
“Don’t look so confused, Matthew, I’m not like you. I do like women, or always did until I kissed you last week. And suddenly there I was, my dick not paying attention despite her best efforts, until…”
“Until what?”
“Until I thought of you. The way you move and your sexy English accent.” He reached up and smoothed his hand over my head. “The way I can see your scalp through your hair.” He moved his hand to my face, touched my mouth with his thumb. “I thought of how we’d kissed, and then when I came, fucking hell, I felt like a shit to her because I was thinking of you, of our cocks touching, rubbing through our jeans. It was one of the most erotic things I’ve ever felt.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips over mine. “So you see, Matthew. I only want you now. No one else will do. That’s how it is.”
I swallowed tightly and drank up the sincerity in his eyes. If I’d felt jealous of the rink bunny he’d scored, that emotion was washed away in an instant. He wanted me. He’d found that one cock-grinding moment every bit as sexy as I had.
Amen.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
“What for?”
“For fucking someone else.”
“I don’t have any right to be mad. You can do whatever you want, with whoever you want.”
He shook his head. “That’s what I’m telling you. I won’t have anyone else in my bed now we’re together, I promise. Even when I’m on the road.”
His statement took me aback. It was a far cry from the Todd Carty whose lothario ways were well documented in the rags. “You don’t have to make that promise.”
“I know I don’t, but I want to. I need you to know how I feel because if one day I come out for you—”
“Don’t do it for me, Todd,” I said sternly. “It has to be for you.”
“I know. It would be for me, but I get you too, don’t I?”
“If you want me.”
“More than anything.”
I hesitated as I fought to control my emotions. “And I want you, too.”
A ghost of a smile played with his lips. “But I need to take it slow. This morning was intense in the kitchen. Damn, it’s a good thing I train, otherwise my heart would have given out.”
I laughed. “How the fuck do you think I felt?”
“It sounded as though you were feeling pretty damn good.” He grinned.
“Yeah, I was.” A small shudder attacked my chest at the delicious memory. “We can take it slow. We can be in the same bed without fucking and still have fun.”
His jaw relaxed a little. “Fun’s good. For now.”
I reached for his hand and pulled him up. “Come on then, sexy. It’s bedtime.”
His bedroom was, of course, enormous, with the same high-beamed ceilings as the living room. A vast black leather bed sat on a platform and there was a colossal plasma TV screen on the wall opposite. Several pieces of highly polished dark wooden furniture sat about and a portrait of horses, wolves and eagles racing across a plain hung on the back wall.
“Nice,” I said, toeing off my shoes and letting my feet sink into the silvery white carpet.
“It serves a purpose,” he said, turning off the overhead light and flicking on a single muted bedside lamp. He straightened and turned to me.
He looked so damn sexy standing next to the bed. Tall and broad but with a certain vulnerability about him that made me want to get all alpha and protect him. Though I knew that with those fine muscles of his and that sharp speed he needed no physical protection. But I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted to make things right for him—more than right, perfect.
I stepped up to him, my cock already swollen well past a semi. “Lift,” I said, gripping the base of his jersey.
He raised his arms and allowed me to peel it over his head. I dropped it to the floor where it landed silently.
His chest was beautiful. I’d seen it many times on the shoots, but now I didn’t need to disguise the lust or admiration in my eyes. Now I could feast on the sight of his dark little nipples that were small and permanently erect. Stroking my hand over his sternum, I circled each one in turn. Felt him tremble beneath my touch and heard his sigh when I brushed over the slightly pliant stalks.
“You’re bloody gorgeous,” I breathed.
He didn’t answer. I guess he’d heard it enough times before.
My cock was full-on hard now. But I was under control. I had to be, for both our sakes.
Todd wore jeans and a brown leather belt with a silver buckle. Luckily my hands were steadier than the tripping of my heart as I released the clasp and popped open the buttons on his pants.
He was hard, too
. His cock straining forward. The outline of it was visible beneath the material and the swollen head butted the tip of the waistband.
My mouth watered and my hands tingled at the thought of holding, tasting, worshipping his cock for the first time.
But that wasn’t what I had planned. Not yet, anyway.
After loosening his pants, I pushed them down his legs. It took all my willpower to leave his white briefs in place and not expose his cock, but I did it. I couldn’t trust myself. If I saw him all hot and hard then I would devour him. In one go.
He stepped out of the jeans and slipped off his socks.
I tugged back the thick navy duvet. “Get in bed,” I said, my voice husky even to my own ears.
Without a word, he slid in and lay on his back, his arms bent behind his head, his cock tenting his briefs.
He watched me as I began to strip. When I wore only my boxers, I scooted in next to him.
A small shiver moved over his body.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“Cold?”
“A bit.”
I pulled the duvet so it covered both our shoulders then pressed the length of my body to the side of his. He wasn’t cold, he felt warm and solid and his leg hairs meshed with mine. “Turn this way,” I whispered. “Face me.”
He did as instructed, sliding one hand over my waist and tucking the other beneath his cheek. We were nose-to-nose.
“Remember when we first kissed on the sofa?” I asked against his lips.
“You know damn well I do.”
“Well, that’s what we’re going to do again. Only this time there’ll be no ordering me to leave.”
“If you left now I’d die.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, you’re a sportsman not an actor.”
He laughed and as he opened his mouth I kissed him. Probed my tongue in and tangled it with his.
Instantly he kissed me back, a small moan filtering up from his throat and swirling out from between our lips. I ran my hand down his arm, onto his waist and stopped on his brief-covered hip. “Like this,” I murmured, “but closer.”
I tugged him toward me and he helped the movement by shuffling.
Our cocks came into alignment, only the barrier of our underwear separating them. “Matthew,” he gasped, gripping my hip the way I was his. “Fuck, you’re so hard.”
“Hard for you.” Damn, he felt good. His cock was as long as I’d suspected it would be from our brief introduction through jeans. It felt thick and wide, too, a steel bar of burning rigidity.
“Feeling you against me makes my nuts so tight,” he groaned, shifting his hips so his shaft rubbed up mine on a long, concrete stroke.
I sucked in a breath of warm air. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” My balls were getting the familiar achy pressure that meant they’d be building to an explosion soon. “Lose these,” I said, plucking at the elastic waistband of his briefs.
He didn’t need asking twice.
As he pushed his down, I shoved at mine. My cock sprang free and a modicum of pressure lifted from the turgid shaft.
He gripped my hip again, tight.
I groaned and allowed the wondrous fist of desire to claim me, clamped my hand on his ass and squeezed our cocks firmly against each other.
“Matthew,” he said breathily.
“That’s it. Fuck, it’s good.”
“Yes, oh God, yes. More. I want us to come together.”
“We will.” I began to shift my hips, a rhythmic grind that rubbed our cocks together, up and down. The shafts generated a scalding friction that heated with each and every movement.
He copied me, met me roll for roll, thrust for thrust. His fingers were pincer-like on my butt and his mouth covered mine.
We kissed, rubbed, slid into each other until our breaths were erratic and my heart pounded. My brain was sparking, firing from a hundred points all focused on Todd.
I wanted to reach down, fist our cocks in a clamping grip, but I didn’t. When I touched Todd’s cock for the first time I wanted to be calm and savor every moment. Right now I was on the brink of climax.
“Ah, I’m coming,” I groaned into his mouth.
“Yes, come, fuck, come now.”
Blistering pressure raced up the center of my cock, the intensity almost dragging my balls with it. I couldn’t breathe, my stomach pinched into a tight knot and suddenly it was there. A beautiful moment of fulfillment. Warm heat burst from me, another shot followed, fizzing and popping onto my stomach in a gooey slap.
A sharp cry escaped Todd and I let the sound swirl within me. He was coming, too. The sound of his orgasm was gloriously uninhibited, unlike earlier when he’d tried to suppress it.
I tightened my fingers on his butt, holding him as he shook and shuddered and moaned through his release. More cum landed between us, sticky and hot, basting our abdomens.
He ran his hand to the back of my neck, supporting my nape as his tongue delved into my mouth. His breaths were erratic and noisy against my cheek. The smell of sex and cum and fresh sweat circulated upward, the stuffy air of the duvet intensifying the scent.
Suddenly hot, I flicked the covers off. A cool waft of air caressed my sticky body and I sucked in much-needed oxygen.
“That was fucking amazing,” Todd gasped.
“That was just foreplay.”
“Fuck!” He grinned and a wild, happy flash seared across his eyes.
I laughed and flopped onto my back, staring at the shadow-strung ceiling. “Yeah, fuck! Foreplay to fucking.”
He too fell onto his back, a deep, breathless chuckle coming from his throat.
I reached for him, entwined our fingers and sighed.
Raising my hand to his lips, he kissed my knuckles then placed my fist on his chest, gripping it tightly.
We lay side by side, a sated, comfortable silence caressing us. Cum solidified on my stomach and crisped my body hair. Sweat pricked and cooled my flesh as my heart rate steadied.
It had been a long time since I’d been so physically satisfied.
Chapter Seven
The scent of sizzling bacon woke me the next morning, filtering up my nose and mixing with the dream I was having about being at the top of the Eiffel Tower, taking photographs of purple dragons flying past me.
I slipped out of bed, dragged on my boxers and jeans and, after using the lavish en suite, padded barefoot into Todd’s kitchen area.
“Mornin’,” Todd said, turning from the frying bacon he was poking with a spatula. He wore only a pair of loose gray sweats.
“What time is it?”
He nodded at the digital clock on the oven. “Nine. I hope you didn’t have to be someplace early.”
“No. I’ve got studio time this afternoon, but that’s it.”
“So you’re free this evening?” He scooped the bacon onto several slices of buttered bread.
“I guess.”
“We face the Capitals later. Puck drops at seven. Wanna come?”
“Sure.” I took the bacon sandwich he offered my way.
“Cool.” He licked his lips. “I have carbs for breakfast if I have an evening game.”
“The trouble is, I’m not going to be burning quite as many calories as you,” I said, wondering if I could squeeze in a visit to the gym.
“You burned some last night.”
“Yeah, I did.” I grinned, bit into the sandwich and watched him do the same. A shard of light was arrowing through one of the high windows and slicing down the side of his face, highlighting the golden streaks in his hair to almost white-blond and whispering over the paler top hairs on his eyebrows. The sunshine flashed into his right eye and he narrowed it slightly, creasing the skin at the outer edge. I wished I had my camera. It would have been a beautiful, naturally lit shot of my most favorite subject of late.
“I have to get going after this. My agent Max is in town, we have a meeting,” Todd said.
“Okay.”
“I�
��m going to tell him about you.”
“You are.” I widened my eyes in surprise.
“Yeah, if, or more likely, when I stick my neck out, he’ll take flack on the front line. So I may as well prepare him.”
“Are you sure you want to do that today?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, start telling people.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely. I told you last night, this, you, is what I want. What I’ve waited for. I’m not going to run from it, that’s not the sort of guy I am. I’ll face it head-on and if anyone has a problem I’ll deal with them. Besides, it’s not like I’m racing off to see a journalist, this is my agent, he has my interests at heart. Well, in his paycheck at least.” Todd shrugged. “He’s been around for years helping me out, he’s cool and I trust him totally. If something did get out and it was the first he was hearing of it, that wouldn’t be fair to him, not by a long shot.”
He shifted his head and the wedge of light now angled over his cheek, nose and mouth, emphasizing the tight set of his jaw and the straight, determined line of his lips. I could tell he wouldn’t be swayed in this. There was no point in me trying.
“And later,” he said, “after the game, use this.” He stepped out of the ray of sunlight and reached into a drawer. Tossed a credit-card-size piece of plastic my way.
“What is it?” It had Rangers Guest written on it in red letters along with their logo in the corner.
“It’s an all-access pass. Come up to the players’ lounge. Frank, one of the coaches, he’s been there forever. It’s his seventy-first birthday. The guys are hanging around afterward, you know, for a bit of a celebration.”
“And you want me there?” I couldn’t hide my astonishment.
He filled two mugs with coffee and passed one my way. “Sure, everyone will have friends and family there. Why not you?”
I took a sip. “I’m not family and we have gone way past the normal boundary of friends.” A little knot of lust tightened in my groin as I thought of last night. “And don’t you think it will be a bit obvious if everyone else has wives and girlfriends with them and you have…well, me?”