by J. H. Croix
I moaned shamelessly into our kiss. My fist was curling into his T-shirt, and the kiss just went on and on and on—lazy sweeps of his tongue and nips on my bottom lip. He dropped a kiss at one corner of my lips and then the other before he dived back in. It felt as if he was learning my mouth.
All the while, my body had a mind of its own. As I flexed into him, my nipples were tight and achy, and I could feel my arousal slick at the apex of my thighs. By the time he broke free, we were both gasping for air. My brain felt filled with static, and electricity traveled in a fiery circuit through my system.
Oh. My. God. I wanted this man.
Russell looked as startled as I felt. We stared at each other, wide-eyed and silent, save for the sound of our ragged breathing. He gave his head a hard shake and stepped away. I had to forcibly uncurl my hand from his shirt, and it fell against my leg.
“Oh, my god,” I whispered before turning and fleeing the room.
Chapter Nine
Russell
I stood in the kitchen, listening as Paisley’s feet thumped on the stairs and the door slammed shut a few seconds later. I took a step back, sagging against the counter as I curled my hands around the edge because I needed something to hold on to.
What the hell had I done?
My body was on fire, and my cock was as hard as a baseball bat. I blinked, giving my head another shake. After a moment, I gathered myself enough to straighten and glance around the kitchen. Everything had been put away except my empty bottle of beer and Paisley’s wine glass. I fetched the glass from the table and put it in the dishwasher. After starting the dishwasher, I rinsed my beer bottle and tossed it in the recycling bin under the sink. Then I walked downstairs, plunked onto the couch, and turned on the television.
The television wasn't an effective distraction. My mind kept replaying that crazy kiss with Paisley while my body pumped with adrenaline and need in the aftermath, like an electrical explosion scattering sparks after the initial burst. I eventually resorted to a cold shower and took care of myself, which was completely unsatisfying. The knowledge of how delectably good Paisley felt pressed against me kept me restless for most of the night. I knew that kiss was stupid, absolutely stupid. Fuck me.
When I woke up the following morning, Paisley was gone. My guess was she beat feet before the sun cleared the horizon so she didn't have to face me this morning. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. On the one hand, I wanted to see her, yet I knew that was dangerous. I did not need to be getting tangled up with someone I worked with. Not to mention, we were usually annoyed with each other. That was our baseline.
To think we could somehow get along? I snorted, even contemplating that. I wasn't looking for a relationship, and I doubted she was. We sure as hell shouldn’t have a fling. Talk about complicated. Maybe my body wanted her, but that didn't mean it was smart. I decided to leave early and grab breakfast at Firehouse Café. At least, I'd have somebody to talk to there and wouldn't be trapped in this mental replay loop of Paisley’s kiss.
After a quick shower to wake me up and a short drive, I parked in front of Firehouse Café. The parking lot was already crowded, which wasn't unusual. Barely a second had passed when I walked through the door, and I knew Paisley was here. I hadn't seen her car. Hell, I hadn't even seen her yet, but it was as if my body was a compass, and she was magnetic north. I sensed her presence, and my head instantly swiveled to where she was sitting at a table by the window.
Maisie was seated across from her. The early morning sunlight fell through the window at an angle, gilding Paisley’s auburn hair with a shimmer of gold. Everything in me tightened, and electricity sizzled through my body. As if she somehow knew I was there, her head turned, and her eyes locked with mine. We stared at each other for a long moment, and the hairs on my body stood, attenuated to her. My heart kicked hard and fast against my ribs, and I tore my eyes away. I walked and stood in line, relieved only two people were in front of me. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and stared up at the chalkboard menu mindlessly. I didn’t need to read it because I already knew what I wanted.
When I reached the front of the line, Janet smiled at me. “Morning, Russell.”
“Morning, Janet.”
“What can I get for you?”
“Coffee, extra strong, and your egg, bacon, and cream cheese bagel thing, whatever that is.”
“My egg extravaganza bagel?” Janet arched her brows in question.
I grinned. “Yes, that.” I fished my wallet out of the inside pocket of my jacket and slipped out a twenty-dollar bill, laying it on the counter while she prepared my coffee.
She called over her shoulder to the kitchen, “An egg extravaganza, extra bacon and extra cheese.”
“Thanks for remembering the extra cheese.”
“You always like it with extra cheese.” She winked.
“That I do.”
“So, how are things?” She slid my coffee over, taking the cash and ringing me up.
“They're good.”
“Your mom told me Paisley’s staying upstairs at the lake house,” she said conversationally.
Of course, Janet knew that since she was the one who suggested it. I had enough sense not to comment on that.
I nodded, keeping my reply nonchalant. “Yup.”
“She settling in okay?”
My mind conjured the feel of Paisley's tongue gliding against mine and her warm curves pressing against my chest. My thoughts came to a screech, the sound audible in my mind. “As far as I know.” I shrugged, attempting to cement how much it didn’t matter to me who stayed there. “I'm in the downstairs apartment.”
“You share the kitchen, though, right?”
Jesus. Janet was not going to quit with her questions. I nodded. “We do.”
“Your mom always said you were a good cook, so make sure Paisley doesn’t starve.”
I chuckled at that. “I made her macaroni and cheese last night. She was about to make it out of a box.”
Janet widened her eyes comically. “Oh no, the horror,” she teased. She handed me my change, and I stuffed it in the tip jar.
“Don't tell my mom. I don’t want her to hold it against Paisley,” I teased in return.
“Why? Does she have something against prepared foods?”
“She never let me make them,” I said dryly. “That's why I can cook.”
Janet chuckled. “Well, you be nice to Paisley. She's new around here.”
“I'm always nice,” I muttered, feeling a little defensive.
Janet couldn't know that Paisley and I had been dealing with some tension at work. Although Janet seemed to know everything, even things people didn't tell her. She studied me for a moment before nodding. “I'll holler when your bagel’s ready.”
Someone had walked in behind me, so I scooted over to stand at the end of the counter. I took a swallow of my coffee. With the knowledge that Paisley was just across the café, my back was prickling with awareness. Uncertainty slithered through me, an unfamiliar feeling. I should walk over and say hello because I worked with Paisley and Maisie. I was overthinking this, and it was ridiculous. Maisie’s voice reached my ears, and it prompted me into action.
I turned and strode over, schooling my expression to be neutral. “Morning, Maisie. Morning, Paisley,” I began with a nod before taking another sip of my coffee.
Maisie smiled at me brightly. “Hey, Russell. I'm glad Paisley's renting the upstairs at your lake house.”
“Yep, it’s a nice little apartment.” I didn't know exactly why, but I felt the need to clarify that it was actually a separate space. We had separate bedrooms, living rooms, and bathrooms. I didn't even want to think about having a shared bathroom with her. It was bad enough to have to share the kitchen. It was torture on my sanity.
Maisie glanced between us. “Are you two getting along better at work?”
Paisley sounded like she was choking, and I glanced down.
“You okay?” Maisie asked.
; Paisley nodded before grabbing her coffee to take a sip. I almost laughed, but I managed to stay quiet. I hoped maybe she felt as uncomfortable as me. Maisie looked up at me, pursing her lips, and I realized I hadn’t answered her question. “Yep. We are. Why are you asking?”
I was feeling surly about the whole thing, annoyed that anyone around the station knew we’d been tense with each other. Maisie shrugged. The innocent look in her eyes was bullshit. I knew it, and she knew it. “No reason. I didn't know you had a problem with women firefighters.”
When I made a grumbling sound, Maisie blinked. “Just joking. I know you don't.”
Paisley looked from me to Maisie and back down at her bagel, her cheeks going a little pink. Good. Maybe she hadn't slept well last night either.
“What do you think of Alaska so far?” Maisie asked Paisley, blessedly dropping the topic of me and Paisley and work.
Paisley finished chewing a bite of her bagel before replying, “I like it. It's just as beautiful as I heard.”
Janet called my name, and I interjected, “Gotta run. I'm sure I'll see you both at the station.”
Normally, I would hang out, but I needed to get the hell away from Paisley, so I grabbed my egg extravaganza and hightailed it out of there. As soon as I walked into the station, we had a call out to a lodge that had caught fire a few hours north of Willow Brook. Thank fuck. I needed to work.
We were on the move within minutes. Anybody who wasn't already at the station was filtering in, grabbing their gear, and we were all heading out to the landing pad out back and piling into the two waiting helicopters. The sound of the helicopter blades whirring through the air drowned out everything else, and I leaned my head back to watch.
Not much later, we were dropping from the air, our gear heavy on our backs. We rolled into action once we were on the ground. In this case, the lodge itself was a lost cause, so we moved quickly to contain the fire by establishing perimeters, working until darkness fell.
That night, we all camped out. It was part of the job. I hated that I was acutely aware of where Paisley was whenever I wasn't deep in the middle of working. We kept our distance from each other, and that was probably for the best. The crew was big enough that it was possible to do that without it being obvious. The following morning, I woke when the first slivers of sunlight were reaching into the sky. The mountains were dark silhouettes against the silvery gray of dawn. I rose, my breath misting in the air. My boots scuffed the ground as I walked along the path to a narrow creek we'd come across the day before.
When I heard footsteps coming toward me, I didn't even have to lift my head to know it was Paisley. My body knew. The simple knowledge of her presence was a jolt to my system. I was still half asleep and not in the greatest mood because of that stupid kiss. I wasn't sleeping well, all thanks to Paisley. My head lifted, and our eyes collided. I could see her breath clouding in puffs in the air. Her cheeks were pink.
I was instantly annoyed because now I knew what it felt like to kiss her. It wasn't just a passing attraction. Hell no. It was fiery hot.
“Morning,” I said, my voice coming out gruff and stilted.
“Good morning,” she replied, her voice raspy.
As I got closer, my eyes took her in—the freckles on her cheeks and the way her green eyes were so bright in the silvery light. It felt as if coils were twisting tighter and tighter in my body. She blinked and then brushed by me in silence. Great. Now we were back to this.
Chapter Ten
Paisley
I could hear the rushing whoosh of my pulse racing through my body. My breath was short, and my lungs felt tight. Meanwhile, my entire body was tingling with awareness. I could feel Russell's retreating form as he moved farther away. It felt like we were two magnetized forms in space. Everything in me wanted to turn back, to follow him and demand an explanation for why he’d kissed me the other night.
I wasn't blaming him entirely for that kiss. It was a two-way street. His head dipped down, and I leaned toward it. I had been powerless to stop it from happening. And now I was mad at him all over again. Because it shouldn't have felt so good. I was confused and annoyed. I'd known I was attracted to him before, but then he had to go and be such a good kisser. Like ridiculously good.
Meanwhile, I felt foolish because I didn't want to be this attracted to him. I had to find somewhere else to stay. I’d even asked Maisie about it yesterday morning, but she had no suggestions, like none. Neither did Janet. Fuck, fuck, fuck my life.
I stomped my way back to the small tent I shared with Phoebe, relieved to be working today. We’d be flying out soon because we had the fire mostly under control. Once we finished clearing a perimeter around it, air support would fly over with flame retardant.
The lodge had been burned to a crisp. We were coming into the end of fire season. Come fall, when people were hunting or camping, inexperienced people made bad decisions. No one had set this lodge on fire, but someone had a campfire nearby. There were the usual reasons for accidental wildfires in the backcountry, and Alaska was no exception in that regard. Campers being careless where they shouldn't was more common than it should’ve been.
I shook my head, ate a breakfast bar, had some kick-ass coffee, and then settled in for a hard day of work. I was worried because tonight I would be returning to the place I shared with Russell. Even though we only shared the kitchen, it felt way too close for my comfort.
At least I had the excuse of being exhausted when I got home that night. When I walked in, Russell was making some food in the kitchen, so I waved on my way upstairs. After taking a long shower, I was annoyed with myself for feeling so aware of his presence. It was ridiculous. He wasn’t even on the same floor, and I locked the door. I needed to just forget he was here.
I was freaking starving, so I ordered pizza and camped out by the windows to wait for the delivery. I hurried downstairs to meet the guy at the doorway. I thought I’d escaped dealing with Russell, except when I walked back into the entryway, he called out, “Avoiding me?”
I peered into the kitchen, shaking my head. “No. I’m just tired. I’m gonna have pizza upstairs. Is that a problem?”
“Nope, not a problem,” he said with a shrug.
I scurried upstairs. I could’ve sworn I felt his presence chasing me up there. He was in the building, he was big, and his presence was potent. I ate pizza by myself. But I didn't have anything to drink, so I had to go down to the kitchen. I tiptoed my way down, relieved when he wasn't there.
My luck evaporated. I was filling a glass of water when I heard his footsteps on the stairs. “Fuck,” I whispered.
A second later, he entered the kitchen. He put a plate and a glass in the dishwasher. The room was silent, and the space felt loaded as if a charge was hovering in the air and about to go off. I turned, and my eyes locked with his gaze immediately.
“How's it going?” I asked.
"Fine. We're heading into the quieter time of year as far as work."
I nodded. "Yeah, we are." The winter season was much quieter for hotshot firefighters. "How does it work in the winter around here?"
He shrugged. "We help out with any town calls, do backup for nearby areas, that kind of thing."
I didn't realize I hadn't responded until he asked, "You forgot to get some water?" His lips kicked up at one corner with his question.
It felt as if a thread connected us—his half-grin spread into a full one, and I felt a tug low in my belly. I literally felt his grin in my cells. I was suddenly breathless and tingling all over, but I managed to nod, feeling a little sheepish and hoping it didn't show. “I'm just going to go finish my pizza now.” I scooted past him and practically ran up the stairs, feeling ridiculous about the whole thing.
I doubted he was as affected as I was by our kiss. Later on, I fell asleep, once again restless.
The following morning when I saw Russell in the kitchen, I was feeling contrary.
“Good morning,” he greeted me when I crossed over to ge
t a yogurt out of the refrigerator.
I felt obliged to respond. “Morning,” I replied curtly.
“Is this how it's going to be?” he asked as I started to walk out.
“What do you mean?” I snapped, turning back to face him.
“This, the silent treatment,” he clarified.
I shook my head. “I'm not giving you the silent treatment.”
Russell stared at me, and it felt as if his eyes were boring through me, reading into all of my uncomfortable feelings. He somehow knew how unsettled I was by that stupid kiss and how it left me in a perpetual state of arousal and frustration around him.
“Really?” he drawled.
I narrowed my eyes. “Really. Do you hear me talking right this second? That’s not silent.”
He leaned his head back, letting out a dry chuckle before he brought his gaze to mine again. “I do hear you, but I think you're full of shit.”
I rested a hand on my hip. “I'm not full of shit.” My common sense had apparently fled the room because I moved to stand in front of him and actually wagged my finger at him. “I am not giving you the silent treatment,” I said, enunciating each word carefully.
“Was it that kiss?” he asked.
Just hearing the word “kiss” aloud set little bonfires alight in my body. I took a breath, letting it out in a huff and wishing I could be all cool and nonchalant like him. “No, it's not that kiss. Although, for what it's worth, that was a mistake. I'm sure you'll agree with me.”
He stared at me, and I wished I could read his mind. Something flickered in his eyes, but I didn't know how to interpret it. I didn't really know Russell all that well. I'd only been in town a short while. What little I’d been able to gather about him was that he tended to keep things casual with women. I wouldn't even call him a flirt because he wasn't. He didn't even have to be. He was so good-looking, it didn't matter. He was like honey to bees, him being the honey and women being the bees. And me. Apparently, I was a bee. I let out another huff, annoyed at my train of thought.