“Horrible excuse to commit treason,” I shot back. “How did you even get involved in something like this?”
“Saer.” Bastian grunted under my weight. “Shut up.”
The healer stood at the entrance to the dungeons, waving us forward. Bastian and Volney dragged me through the dark tunnel, toward the breaking dawn. There would be a change of guards soon at the main entrance to the palace, which had to be the reason for the rush.
“Hurry,” the healer urged.
Bastian exited into the graveled courtyard first, paused, then nodded to Volney. A carriage was already there with a pair of horses hitched. My horses. The ones I’d bought for Anais’ escape.
“You knew?” I asked Bastian.
“Fuck no. He did.” He bobbed his head toward the King’s Wing.
“I followed you to the library with Governor Pevran’s niece,” he admitted. “Then I put civilian eyes on you. The horses were about the only thing of value I could find which takes talent.”
“You didn’t tell the king?”
He shrugged. “I told the prince.”
“Yesterday,” he mumbled. “After it was of any use.”
“It’s useful now, isn’t it? No royal horses are missing from the stable.”
Bastian shifted my arm around his shoulders as a driver jumped down from the outside bench. It wasn’t anyone I recognized—a boy, likely from Ora Et, paid in enough gold to ensure his silence. He swung the door open and Volney all but threw me inside.
A pair of small hands circled my upper arm when I landed in front of the padded seat. My gaze lifted to find Anais huddled into her cloak. Time seemed to stop as she offered me a tentative smile.
I scrambled to my knees and turned back to Bastian just as the driver swung the door shut again. My hand flew to the handle, ready to fling it open and demand an explanation from Bastian. This wasn’t right… I wasn’t supposed to be alive, let alone given a chance at happiness outside of the palace. After everything I’d done, I didn’t deserve it.
“Bast,” I shouted as the carriage jerked forward.
My entire life was spent as his Wing. Everything before the palace never existed in my mind—even my parents’ faces were lost to time. My earliest memory was meeting Bastian in the Children’s Palace and sharing his blocks. A test to see if we—at two-years-old—were compatible before they threw me in front of the king for approval. He was the only one that was kind to me, even then. A lonely prince and an even lonelier orphan quickly became family.
Bastian raised his hand halfway in a silent farewell and it summoned echoes of our shared childhood. Of the pain and the laughter. When he turned his back on the carriage, I could hardly breathe. Volney walked at the prince’s side as they disappeared around the side of the stone building.
“No. Bastian!” I slammed my palms against the carriage window. There had to be another option for us. “Wait!”
“Saer,” Anais whispered, touching my bare back with cool fingers. “You’ll rip your stitches.”
“Fuck the stitches,” I growled.
She tugged on my arm. “Sit down before someone sees you.”
Let them see me. Let them alert the guards and get me thrown back into the dungeon where I belonged for being such a shit human.
“Please.”
The desperate word cracked something in my chest and I dragged myself from the window to sit beside her. “How are you here?” I rasped.
“The prince came to see me last night.” Anais rifled through a leather satchel and pulled out one of my shirts. “Put this on before you freeze.”
I took the linen from her and gingerly tugged it over my head as she picked up a folded cloak from the bench beside her. Without the energy to shift to wear it properly, I arranged it over myself like a blanket instead. “What did he say?”
“That he talked to you and…”
When she busied herself with tucking the cloak around me instead of finishing her sentence, I asked, “And what?”
“He had me promise to make you happy.” She bit her lower lip. “Once you’re healed, we’ll talk about what that means. If you don’t want me, then he’s given me enough coin to make it on my own, but I won’t leave you until you’re better.”
My hand darted out from beneath the cloak to grab hers. Dizziness returned at the thought of losing her and Bastian all at once. I wouldn’t survive it. “I want you, Anais.”
Tears filled her eyes at the same time a real smile spread across her face. She leaned in and kissed me tenderly. And all too briefly. “I thought you were dead,” she whispered when she pulled back.
“I’m not dead.” I shifted in my seat to take the pressure off my wounds and set my head on her shoulder. “Let me rest here awhile?”
“Of course.” She inched closer and squeezed my hand. “Rest. I’ll wake you when we get to the Summer Palace.”
I closed my eyes without telling her it would be three days before we arrived. My mind was collapsing in on itself almost as quickly as my body wilted. There was too much to process. Too much pain blocking any of it from making sense. Too many questions I would never have answers to now that Bastian and I were permanently separated. The whys and hows I’d never get to ask. But I was leaving Ora Et and Anais was with me…
Perhaps I had died after all.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Days blurred together at the Summer Palace. All of the furniture was covered in white sheets, the cupboards bare. I would’ve gone hunting for something to eat but my body ached with a fever. Joints stiff. Head murky. Anais stayed by my side as the infection raged, ready with a cool cloth and a dose of the healer’s medication. It tasted like sour dirt.
It was nearly a week before I could sit up without getting dizzy. Another day before I had the strength to stand. Anais had done her best to feed us. Between stretching out the supplies Bastian sent with the carriage, her foraging for winter berries, and the discovery of canned peaches, we hadn’t been in danger of starving. But the supplies were dwindling now.
“I wish you wouldn’t do this.” Anais followed me outside on the third day after my fever broke. “I can walk to town and buy something instead.”
“Town is too far and it’s too cold,” I said, slinging a bow over my shoulder. Luckily the hunter’s cabin on the outskirts of the land was still stocked. Bastian had packed two daggers into our bag, but nothing long-range. “I’ll be quick. Stay inside, just in case anyone passes by.”
When she shut the door behind me, I headed into the woods. Frost clung to the top of matted grass, so each step crunched. It was good to be outside again, free of the stale palace with its shuttered windows and covered furniture. Without Bastian, it felt wrong to be here. Anais and I stayed in the cook’s room beside the kitchen for easier access to the exit, if needed, but all I could see whenever I left the bedroom were memories.
When Bastian and I summered here, we would steal dessert before dinner. The cook would’ve given it to him—he was the prince—but it was more fun that way. To snatch a jelly bun and run. Hiding behind curtains or in alcoves to eat it. Learning from the cook how to roll out a perfect crust. Her allowing us to keep the extra pieces so we could sprinkle them with sugar and bake them alongside her pie. Having fun with him was worth whatever scolding we received. I wished we could go back to those days. Everything seemed simpler then.
An hour later, I returned with two dead rabbits. Please, Gods, let Anais know how to skin them. She’d grown up in Port Black so fish were more of a sure thing than mammals, but I’d overdone it with hunting. I’d felt well enough earlier. Now I just wanted to rest. Needed to.
Anais swung the door open when I passed into the courtyard and rushed out to meet me. “Poor rabbits,” she said, taking them by their ears.
I leaned in and kissed her on top of her head. “Do you know what to do with them?”
“Yes,” she admitted a little reluctantly.
Practically falling onto the stool in front of the large ki
tchen worktable, I let the bow clatter to the ground. “I’m sorry. I should do it.”
“Are you okay?” The rabbits landed on the table and she knelt in front of me. “You didn’t get hurt out there, did you?”
I stared down at her with her wide, concerned eyes and my heart skipped. So many times, I’d woken from a fever dream to find her beside me, and each time I thought I was still asleep. Still dreaming. I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and gave her a smile. “I’m not hurt.”
“Tired then?”
“Tired,” I agreed. “I’m sorry.”
Anais set her hand on my thigh. “Don’t be sorry.”
I set one arm on the table and laid my head on it. With my free hand, I stroked her soft golden hair. I was perpetually sorry—to her, to Bastian. We sat like that for a long time before I drummed up the courage to ask, “What happened to you when I was in the dungeon?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” I repeated in disbelief.
“They locked me in my rooms without visitors, except the prince. I was set to stand trial the day we left, so I imagine whatever horrible thing they had planned for me would’ve come soon enough.”
Bastian hadn’t told the king her identity then. Not that I was entirely surprised given how he smuggled us out of the capital. I couldn’t help wonder what he told his father about our disappearance. Were we thought dead or fugitives again? It would help to know where we stood so when we left, we could take proper precautions.
Tomorrow I would go to the library and search the maps of Eradrist. We were close enough to go south, to the same place I’d found for Anais. Pevran’s niece never knew the name of the town, just the direction of it. A meadow would complement Anais’ free spirit. I would build us a small house on a hill. Perhaps purchase a few sheep. I could already see the sun kissing her face.
I closed my eyes to better imagine it, and when I opened them again, Anais was plating chunks of cooked rabbit. “That smells amazing,” I said, peering up at her.
She jumped and spun around, smiling. “Thanks.”
We ate in silence, the meat a little dry but still hitting the spot. My appetite appeared to be back as I got myself a second helping. I cleared the dishes once we had both finished and threw another log on the fire.
“We should talk about what we’re going to do next,” Anais said when I sat on the edge of the table beside her. She was still on her stool, tracing a knot in the tabletop.
“South,” I said with certainty.
She furrowed her brows. “South what?”
“We’ll go south, together, and make whatever life we can with this second chance.”
Anais chewed her bottom lip.
“You don’t like the south?” I asked, leaning toward her and lifting her chin. “Or you don’t want to go with me?”
“I want to go with you,” she said quickly.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“It’s not important.”
“Tell me anyway,” I urged. Important or not, if it bothered her, I wanted to know.
She took a deep breath and let it out. “When we go together, what does that mean?”
I lowered my brows. “I don’t understand.”
“You never planned to come with me originally and, when we ran, you weren’t going to stay with me. We slept together when we thought it could be our only chance so I suppose I’m wondering—”
I closed the distance between us, silencing her with a kiss. Her tongue darted out to meet mine and she pushed onto her toes so I didn’t have to lean over as far. Without breaking the kiss, she sidestepped to stand between my legs.
My hands snaked around her waist, pulling her closer. I slid my lips across her cheek, down her neck, and back up again. “Anais,” I breathed against her mouth. “Look at me.”
She brought her head back enough to meet my gaze. Desire swirled in her eyes, tainted with uncertainty. I didn’t want her to question this. To question me. The thought of leaving her before was hard, but now? Impossible.
“Saer?” she asked, her hands landing tentatively on my thighs.
“I love you.” I moved one hand to her cheek and ran my thumb along her cheekbone. “I think I’ve loved you this whole time, but I was…” Trying not to. “I’m sorry for leaving you uncertain. I’ll never let you doubt my feelings for you again.”
She smiled and pressed a finger against the crease between my brows. “I love you too.”
I kissed her nose. Her forehead. Each cheek. I rained them upon her face until my lips found hers again. This time the kiss was deeper. The sensation of her tongue against mine coursed through my entire body, lighting me up. My cock stiffened in my pants and I was suddenly desperate to feel her around me.
I stood and spun her so she was the one sitting on the table. Her hands found the base of my neck and tugged me back to her. My hands shook as I gathered her skirts around her waist. When my knuckle grazed her slick opening, she gasped.
“Please,” she whispered.
“Lay back,” I told her in a rough voice. “Let me watch you.”
She shook her head. “Later. Now I want more than your fingers.”
“Fuck.” Eagerness to oblige had me untying my pants with the pull of a string, and I shoved them down. Anais watched me line my hard length up to her entrance and licked her lips. I slipped my tip through her wetness, reveling in the fact that it was for me.
“Saer, please.”
“You’re mine,” I said, pressing into her entrance slightly. “And I’m yours.”
“Yes.” She shifted her hips in an attempt to take me in deeper.
Instead, I lifted her up and sank to the stone floor with her on top. Her knees landed on either side of my hips, straddling me, and I devoured her mouth, hands in her hair. “Use me,” I whispered, pulling away only long enough to say the words.
“What?” She pulled away and looked nervously at where our bodies connected. Her skirt had draped over my cock, separating me from her heat. “I’ve never done that before.”
I tugged the fabric out of the way and lined myself up with her entrance. “Do whatever feels good.”
She bit her lip and settled her hands on my shoulders before lowering herself. Her walls slowly sucked me in deep. When she was fully seated, my head fell back with a groan and her hands tightened. “Oh my gods,” she hissed.
I smirked, knowing the angle would make her feel fuller, and gripped her hips. “Fuck me.” Anais shifted her weight uncertainly so I guided her hips up and down. “Like this.”
Anais groaned as I continued to guide her movements, setting the pace until her breaths became heavy. I leaned up on my elbows and held her skirts aside so I could watch myself disappear inside her. Over and over. Her movements quickly became more erratic. She leaned forward and I laid back fully so she had space to continue moving.
“Saer,” she breathed. “I’m going to…”
She gripped my shirt, rubbing the fabric over the sensitive, newly-healed marks. I winced but then she arched her back, her walls quivering. A spike of heat rushed straight to my cock. Fuck. I grabbed her hips again to still her and drove myself up. She threw her head back with a moan, emboldening me. I drove into her again and again until she squeezed around me, screaming as she came. I followed her over the edge, emptying myself into her with a strangled cry.
We laid on the floor, breathing heavily, until she shifted off me. “My knees are cold,” she said as she got up and held her hands out to me. “And your ass must be frozen.”
I let out a husky laugh. My ass was frozen, but it was worth every second of it. “It is.” I took her hands and got off the floor. “But I know a way to warm it up.”
Anais glanced down at my length and it stiffened again. “Is that even possible?”
“It absolutely is,” I growled, and led her to the bedroom.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Anais and I wore our cloaks tight as we rode into the city nearest the Summer Palace. A
fter this, we would avoid villages of any size as much as possible, but I needed to know what we should expect on the trip. We also needed to fill our saddlebags with provisions and I had to acquire a warmer shirt to wear over the one Bastian gave me.
“Keep your head down,” I warned Anais. The chance that anyone here would recognize us was low, but not impossible.
We tied our horses in front of a tailor shop where I quickly purchased a wool tunic and gloves for both of us. The young woman working there appeared completely oblivious to who we were so either the crown never released our sketches or they hadn’t arrived here yet.
“Better?” Anais asked once I’d refastened my cloak.
“Much.” I smirked and stole a quick kiss before leading her farther into town. We passed a bakery, the scent of freshly baked bread making my mouth water. We’d get a loaf on the way back to the horses so we could eat it while it was still warm. My stomach rumbled as we approached a stand with a small selection of winter fruit instead.
“Plums!” Anais pointed to a basket of small purple fruit. “They’re my favorite.”
I stared at her smiling face. Something as little as a piece of fruit had given her the brightest smile, brighter than I’d ever seen it at the palace. In time, I hoped she would smile like that every day.
“What?” she asked when she noticed me looking.
“Nothing.” I placed a hand on her back. “Get as many as you’d like.”
Anais nodded to the man at the stall and he began filling a paper sack. “Any apples?” he asked.
Anais looked up at me for an answer. “Six,” I said. They would help stretch our food between now and the next stop.
“Long journey ahead?” the man asked conversationally.
I gave a low mmm of affirmation and looked around. There was no one nearby to eavesdrop or spy, but that seemed off. It was nearly midday in the center of town and there were only a handful of citizens around. “It’s quiet here today.”
“The rebels swept through yesterday on the way to the capital. Took everyone they could with them and most people smart enough not to join them have holed themselves up. Bad for business, I tell you.” He held a bulging bag out to Anais. “Six silver.”
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