Christmas Wishes

by Debbie Macomber

“Why not?”

  “Well, being a multimillionaire keeps him busy.”

  Emily paused to gulp in a breath, then gasped, “I think there must be a problem with the phone. I thought you just said—”

  “Ever been to Rainy Day Cookies?”

  “Of course. Hasn’t everyone?”

  “Have you made the connection yet?”

  “You mean Nate…”

  “…is Mr. Chocolate Chip himself.”

  “But that’s marvelous! That’s wonderful. Why, he’s famous…I mean his cookies are. To think that the man who developed Rainy Day Cookies actually helped Robert carry out Michelle’s crib. I can’t wait until he hears this.”

  “Personally, I wasn’t all that impressed.” It was difficult to act indifferent when her sister was bubbling over with such enthusiasm. Emily usually only got excited about something organic.

  “When did you find out?” Emily asked, her voice almost accusing, as if Susannah had been holding out on her.

  “Last Friday. John Hammer gave me a magazine that had an article about Nate in it. The issue was a few years old, but the article told me everything Nate should have.”

  A brief sound of exclamation followed. “So you just found out?”

  “Right.”

  “And you’re angry with him?”

  “Good heavens, no. Why should I be?” Susannah was afraid Emily wouldn’t appreciate the sarcasm.

  “He probably planned on telling you,” Emily argued, defending Nate. “I don’t know him all that well, but he seemed straightforward enough to me. I’m sure he intended to explain the situation when the time was right.”

  “Perhaps,” Susannah said, but as far as she was concerned, that consolation was too little, too late. “Listen, I’ve got something in the microwave, so I’ve got to scoot.” The excuse was feeble, but Susannah didn’t want to continue discussing Nate. “Oh, before I forget,” she added quickly. “I’ve got a speaking engagement on the seventeenth, but I’ll be finished before five-thirty so you can count on me watching Michelle.”

  “Great. Listen, if you want to talk, I’m always here. I mean that. What are sisters for if not to talk?”

  “Thanks, I’ll remember that.”

  Once she replaced the receiver, Susannah was left to deal, once more, with Nate’s three-word note. By all rights, she should crumple it up and toss it in the garbage. She did, feeling a small—very small—sense of satisfaction.

  Out of sight, out of mind, or so the old adage went. Only this time it wasn’t working. Whenever she turned around, the sight of the telephone seemed to pull at her.

  Her dinner was ready, but as she gazed down at the unappetizing entrée, she considered throwing it out and going to the Western Avenue Deli for a pastrami on rye instead. That would serve two purposes; first, it would take her away from the phone, which seemed to be luring her to its side; and second, she’d at least have a decent meal.

  Having made her decision, she was already in the living room when there was a knock at the door. Susannah groaned, knowing even before she answered it that her visitor had to be Nate.

  “You didn’t call,” he snapped the minute she opened the door.

  He stormed inside without waiting for an invitation, looking irritated but in control. “Just how long were you planning to keep me waiting? It’s obvious you’re going to make me pay for the error of my ways, which to a certain point I can understand. But we’ve gone well past that point. So what are you waiting for? An apology? Okay—I’m sorry.”

  “Ah—”

  “You have every reason to be upset, but what do you want? Blood? Enough is enough. I’m crazy about you, Susannah, and you feel the same about me, so don’t try to fool me with this indifference routine, because I can see right through it. Let’s put this foolishness behind us and get back on track.”

  “Why?” she demanded.

  “Why what?”

  “Why did you wait to tell me? Why couldn’t you have said something sooner?”

  He gave her a frown that suggested they were rehashing old news, then started his usual pacing. “Because I wanted to put Rainy Day Cookies out of my mind. I’d made the business my entire world.” He stopped and whirled to face her. “I recognized a kindred spirit in you. Your entire life is wrapped up in some sporting goods company—”

  “Not just some sporting goods company” she returned, indignant. “H&J Lima is the largest in the country.”

  “Forgive me, Susannah, but that doesn’t really impress me. What about your life? Your whole world revolves around how far you can climb up the corporate ladder. Let me tell you that once you’re at the top, the view isn’t all that great. You forget what it means to appreciate the simple things in life. I did.”

  “Are you telling me to stop and smell the flowers? Well, I’ve got news for you, Nate Townsend. I like my life just the way it is. I consider it insulting that you think you can casually walk into my world and my career and tell me I’m headed down the road to destruction, because I’ll tell you right now—” she paused to take a deep breath “—I don’t appreciate it.”

  Nate’s expression tightened. “I’m not talking about flowers, Susannah. I want you to look out this window at Puget Sound and see the lovely view with ferryboats and snowcapped mountains. Life, abundant life, is more than that. It’s meaningful relationships. Connecting with other people. Friends. Fun. We’d both lost sight of that. It happened to me first, and I can see you going in the same direction.”

  “That’s fine for you, but I—”

  “You need the same things I do. We need each other.”

  “Correction,” she said heatedly. “As I told you, I like my life just the way it is, thank you. And why shouldn’t I? My five-year goals have been achieved, and there are more in the making. I can go straight to the top with this company, and that’s exactly what I want. As for needing relationships, you’re wrong about that, too. I got along fine before I met you, and the same will be true when you’re out of my life.”

  The room went so still that for a second Susannah was convinced Nate had stopped breathing.

  “When I’m out of your life,” he echoed. “I see. So you’ve made your decision.”

  “Yes,” she said, holding her head high. “It was fun while it lasted, but if I had to choose between you and the vice presidency, the decision wouldn’t be difficult at all. I’m sure you’ll encounter some other young woman who needs to be saved from herself and her goals. As far as I can see, from your perspective our relationship was more of a rescue mission. Now that you know how the cookie crumbles—the pun’s intended—perhaps you’ll leave me to my sorry lot.”

  “Susannah, would you listen to me?”

  “No.” She held up her hand for effect. “I’ll try to be happy,” she said, a heavy note of mockery in her voice.

  For a moment, Nate said nothing. “You’re making a mistake, but that’s something you’re going to have to learn on your own.”

  “I suppose you’re planning on being around to pick up the pieces when I fall apart?”

  His blue eyes bored into hers. “I might be, but then again, I might not.”

  “Well, you needn’t worry, because either way, you’ve got a long wait.”

  Chapter

  10

  “Ms. Simmons, Mr. Hammer, it’s an honor to meet you.”

  “Thank you,” Susannah said, smiling politely at the young man who’d been sent to greet her and her boss. The Seattle Convention Center was filled to capacity. The moment Susannah realized her audience was going to be so large, her stomach was attacked by a bad case of nerves. Not the most pleasant conditions under which to be eating lunch.

  “If you’ll come this way, I’ll show you to the head table.”

  Susannah and John Hammer followed the young executive toward the front of the crowded room. There were several other people already seated on the stage. Susannah recognized the mayor and a couple city councillors, along with the King County executiv
e and two prominent local businessmen.

  She was assigned the chair to the right of the podium. John was assigned the place beside her. After shaking hands with the conference coordinator, she greeted the others and took her seat. Almost immediately, the caterers started serving lunch, which consisted of an elegantly prepared salad tossed with a raspberry vinaigrette, wild rice and broiled fresh salmon with a teriyaki glaze.

  She didn’t think she could manage even a bite while sitting in front of so many people. Glancing out over the sea of unfamiliar faces, she forced herself to remain calm and collected. She was, after all, one of the featured speakers for the afternoon, and she’d come well prepared.

  There was a slight commotion to her right, but the podium blocked her view.

  “Hi, gorgeous. No one told me you were going to be here.”

  Nate. Susannah nearly swallowed her forkful of salmon whole. It stuck in her throat and she would’ve choked had she not reached for her water and hurriedly gulped some down.

  Twisting around in her chair, she came eye to eye with him. “Hello, Nate,” she said as nonchalantly as she could. Her smile was firmly in place.

  “I thought Nate Townsend might be here,” John whispered, looking pleased with himself.

  “I see you’ve taken to following me around now,” Nate taunted as he took his seat, two chairs down from John’s.

  Susannah ignored his comment and both men, studiously returning to her salmon, hoping to suggest that her meal was far more appealing than their conversation.

  “Have you missed me?”

  It was ten agonizing days since she’d last seen Nate. Avoiding him hadn’t been easy. He’d made sure of that. The first night she’d come home to an Italian opera played just loud enough to be heard through her kitchen wall. The sound of the music was accompanied by the tangy scent of his homemade spaghetti sauce. The aroma of simmering tomatoes and herbs mingled with the pungent scent of hot garlic and butter.

  Evidently Nate assumed the way to her heart was through her stomach. She’d nearly succumbed then, but her conviction was strong and she’d hurried to a favorite Italian restaurant to alleviate her sudden craving for pasta.

  By the weekend, Susannah could’ve sworn Nate had whipped up every recipe in an entire cookbook, each one more enticing than the last. Susannah had never eaten as many restaurant meals as she had in the past week.

  When Nate realized she couldn’t be bought so easily with fine food, wine and song, he’d tried another tactic, this one less subtle.

  A single red rose was waiting outside her door when she arrived home from the office. There wasn’t any note with it, just a perfect fresh flower. She picked it up and against her better judgment took it inside with her, inhaling the delicate scent. The only person who could have left it was Nate. Then, in a flurry of righteousness, she’d taken the rose and put it back where she found it. Five minutes later, she jerked open her door and to her dismay discovered the flower was still there, looking forlorn and dejected.

  Deciding to send him her own less than subtle message, Susannah dropped the rose outside Nate’s door. She hoped he’d understand once and for all that she refused to be bought!

  Nate, however, wasn’t dissuaded. The rose was followed the next evening by a small box of luscious chocolates. This time Susannah didn’t even bring them inside, but marched them directly to Nate’s door.

  “No,” she said now, forcing her thoughts back to the present and the conference. She surveyed the crowded, noisy room. “I haven’t missed you in the least.”

  “You haven’t?” He looked dashed. “But I thought you were trying to make it up to me. Why else would you leave those gifts outside my door?”

  For just a second her heart thumped wildly. Then she gave him a fiery glare and diligently resumed her meal, making sure she downed every bite. If she didn’t, Nate would think she was lovesick for want of him.

  Her boss tilted his head toward her, obviously pleased with himself. “I thought it would be a nice surprise for you to be speaking with Nate. Fact is, I arranged it myself.”

  “How thoughtful,” Susannah murmured.

  “You have missed me, haven’t you?” Nate asked again, balancing on two legs of his chair in an effort to see her.

  Okay, she was willing to admit she’d been a bit lonely, but that was to be expected. For several weeks, Nate had filled every spare moment of her time with silliness like baseball games and kite flying. But she’d lived a perfectly fine life before she met him, and now she’d gone back to that same serene lifestyle without a qualm. Her world was wonderful. Complete. She didn’t need him to make her a whole person. Nate was going to a lot of trouble to force her to admit she was miserable without him. She wasn’t about to do that.

  “I miss you,” he said, batting his baby blues at her. “The least you could do is concede that you’re as lonely and miserable as me.”

  “But I’m not,” she answered sweetly, silently acknowledging the lie. “I have a fantastic job and a promising career. What else could I want?”

  “Children?”

  She leaned forward and spoke across the people between them. “Michelle and I have loads of fun together, and when we get bored with each other, she goes home to her mother. In my opinion that’s the perfect way to enjoy a child.”

  The first speaker approached the podium, and Susannah’s attention was diverted to him. He was five minutes into his greeting when Susannah felt something hit her arm. She darted a glance at Nate, who was holding up a white linen napkin. “What about a husband?” was inked across the polished cloth.

  Groaning, Susannah prayed no one else had seen his note, especially her boss. She rolled her eyes and emphatically shook her head. It was then that she noticed how everyone was applauding and looking in her direction. She blinked, not understanding, until she realized that she’d just been introduced and they were waiting for her to stand up and give her talk.

  Scraping back her chair, she stood abruptly and approached the podium, not daring to look at Nate. The man was infuriating! A lesser woman would have dumped the contents of her water glass over his smug head. Instead of venting her irritation, she drew in a deep calming breath and gazed out over her audience. That was a mistake. There were so many faces, and they all had their eyes trained on her.

  Her talk had been carefully planned and memorized. But to be on the safe side, she’d brought the typed sheets with her. She had three key points she intended to share, and had illustrated each one with several anecdotes. Suddenly her mind was blank. It took all her courage not to bolt and run from the stage.

  “Go get ’em, Susannah,” Nate mouthed, smiling up at her.

  His eyes were so full of encouragement and faith that the paralysis started to leave her. Although she’d memorized her speech, she stared down at the written version. The instant she read the first sentence she knew she was going to be fine.

  For the next twenty minutes she spoke about the importance of indelibly marking a goal on one’s mind and how to minimize difficulties and maximize strengths. She closed by explaining the significance of building a mental ladder to one’s dreams. She talked about using determination, discipline, dedication and demeanor as the rungs of this ladder to success.

  Despite Nate’s earlier efforts to undermine her dignity and poise, she was pleased by the way her speech was received. Many of her listeners nodded at key points in her talk, and Susannah knew she was reaching them. When she came to the end, she felt good, satisfied with her speech and with herself.

  As she turned to go back to her seat, her gaze caught Nate’s. He was smiling as he applauded, and the gleam in his eyes was unmistakably one of respect and admiration. The warm, caressing look he sent her nearly tripped her heart into overdrive. Yet he’d maddened her with his senseless questions, distracted her, teased and taunted her with his craziness and then written a note on a napkin. But when she finished her speech, the first person she’d looked at, whether consciously or unconsciously
, was Nate.

  Once Susannah was seated, she saw that her hands were trembling. But she couldn’t be sure if it was a release from the tension that had gripped her when she first started to speak, or the result of Nate’s tender look.

  Nate was introduced next, and he walked casually to the podium. It would serve him right, Susannah thought, if she started writing messages on her napkin and holding them up for him to read while he gave his talk. She was immediately shocked by the childishness of the idea. Five minutes with Nate seemed to reduce her mentality to that of a ten-year-old.

  With a great deal of ceremony, or so it seemed to Susannah, Nate retrieved his notes from inside his suit jacket. It was all she could do to keep from laughing out loud when she saw that everything he planned to say had been jotted on the back of a single index card. So this was how seriously he’d taken that afternoon’s address. It looked as if he’d scribbled a couple of notes while she was delivering her speech. He hadn’t given his lecture a second thought until five minutes before he was supposed to stand at the podium.

  But Nate proved her wrong, as seemed to be his habit. The minute he opened his mouth, he had the audience in the palm of his hand. Rarely had she heard a more dynamic speaker. His strong voice carried to the farthest corners of the huge hall, and although he used the microphone, Susannah doubted he really needed it.

  Nate told of his own beginnings, of how his father had died the year he was to enter college, so that the funds he’d expected to further his education were no longer available. It was the lowest point of his life and out of it had come his biggest success. Then he explained that his mother’s chocolate chip cookies had always been everyone’s favorite. Because of his father’s untimely death, she’d taken a job in a local factory, and Nate, eager to find a way to attend university in the fall, had started baking the cookies and selling them to tourists for fifty cents each.

  Halfway through the summer he’d made more than enough money to see him through his first year of school. Soon a handful of local delis had contacted him, wanting to include his cookies as part of their menus. These requests were followed by others from restaurants and hotels.