by Tee, Marian
I swayed left to right this time, creating huge invisible arcs in the air. The new direction made me feel nauseous, and I closed my eyes.
“Still not complaining?”
“You told me this was all part of my training.”
“I lied.”
My eyes shot open. “Dyvian.” But the fury just wasn’t there, and I sighed again. “Whatever.”
“See? You are depressed.” He jumped back to the lounge chair he had brought with him and stretched out. “Lucian’s coming back in three days,” he stressed. “It’s not like he’s going to be gone forever. And it’s not as if he’s doing something bad out there. He’s just participating in a trade show, something like that. He’s not there to meet other girls.”
I started to shake my head but stopped when it made me queasier. “You don’t understand.”
Dyvian took a sip of his iced tea. He always came prepared for our outings. “It’s creepy to see you not bubbly, Deli.”
“Misery loves company.”
“I said I find it creepy, not that I feel sad, too.”
I didn’t bother responding.
Dyvian rolled his eyes. “Just let me know if you want to pack up early.”
The minutes trickled by.
“Voice?”
“Yes?” it replied with reassuring speed. I seldom spoke to it now, and I had been afraid that the ability to hear and speak to it would disappear.
“I thought you’d be gone.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because I hadn’t been talking to you for some time, and I thought you’d…rust away.”
“I’m not a machine.”
“I know.” I wanted to smile. I could almost picture Lucian saying it. He’d frown and look like he couldn’t understand how I came up with such thoughts.
The Voice never took the initiative in our conversations so waiting for it to address me when not directly spoken to would be pointless. “Voice?”
“Yes?”
God, but it sounded so much like Lucian and right now, I missed him so much that hearing his voice—even if it wasn’t his—made me feel just a tiny bit better.
“I miss Lucian.”
There was a pause. “I believe it’s safe to say he misses you, too.”
I gasped.
“Deli?” Dyvian exclaimed in concern.
I cleared my throat. “I fell asleep. I forgot where I was so you can understand how shocked I was when I woke up.” I scowled at him in the end to make it more convincing.
“You managed to fall asleep like that?” He shook his head, muttering something about dragons and bats, but his attention had returned to the portable DVD player on his lap.
When I was certain Dyvian was too engrossed with The Transformers to notice me, I closed my eyes and asked eagerly, “Lucian misses me?”
“Yes.”
“But why didn’t he say goodbye?”
“I’m not in the position to answer that.”
“Oh, right. Sorry. I got carried away in thinking you’re the Magic Mirror or something.”
“Magic Mirror?”
“You know? Snow White? Who’s the fairest of them all?”
“I…see.”
Lucian missed me. That was very nice to hear. My chest eased, allowing me to breathe more easily. “Voice?”
“Yes?”
“Lucian and I are dating now. I think. How do you think I should proceed? I mean, based on what you know about him and me?”
“Slowly. You proceed very slowly and let him make all the moves.”
“Oh.”
“You have to be patient with him. You know he’s not used to having relationships.”
My eyes widened. “Does that mean I’m his first girlfriend?”
“I’m not in the position to answer that.”
I exhaled in irritation. “You may not be a machine, but you’re beginning to sound like one.”
“I’m not in the position to change that.”
I managed to keep myself from laughing. Dyvian still had this weird thing against The Voice and he might prolong my training if he found out about my private conversation with it.
“Be patient, huh?”
“It’s the only way.”
“So be it. But for now…” I wanted to giggle but swallowed it back in time. My head in the sand tendencies beckoned.
“Voice?”
“Yes?”
Oh, it really sounded so much like Lucian. This was just too irresistible an opportunity to pass up. I wanted to giggle again.
“Voice, I want you to do something for me again.”
“What is it?”
“Tell me you love me.”
It didn’t respond for a long time. “Voice. Come on. It’s just three little words. I love you. I want to hear you say it.”
“Because I sound like Lucian?”
“Yes. So come on—”
“I love you.”
Chapter Eleven
Lucian Chevalier was everything a girl could want, and if I hadn’t been Evren like him, I would have felt there was no way I’d get someone like him to fall in love with me. But I was Evren, and it was something I had that none of the rest of the human girls had, not even Blake Lively or Megan Fox. It was a thought I cherished whenever I felt insecure, a thought that was doomed because I failed to consider that there might be other Evren females in this world.
“Concentrate within and block everything else,” Dyvian instructed.
I stood still, eyes closed, and shivered a little at the icy breeze sweeping through the desert.
Today was the first time he’d asked me to attempt transforming into Evren. Today was also the third night of another of Lucian’s seemingly endless “business trips”, which he again didn’t inform me about, but I tried not to think of that too much.
It was a few minutes after midnight and no one was in sight. Night, with its dangerous nocturnal inhabitants and howling winds, only made the desert more sinister than usual.
Earlier on, Dyvian and I came across an honest-to-goodness Mojave rattlesnake. It reminded me so much of Zekans I had jumped on Dyvian’s back, forcing him to carry me until we reached a snake-free zone.
My fear of snakes was something I had to conquer really soon, especially since I wanted to go up against Zekans, the snake of all snakes—
“Deli, concentrate.”
I flinched at his whiplash tone and pushed out thoughts of ugly killer reptiles from my mind. My forehead creased with the effort of blocking all distractions from my mind. It was harder than it should have been because I was a thousand times more sensitive now than when I had been human.
The footsteps of an ant could be as loud as a bear’s if I let them. The soft smell of flowers could be overpowering if I let it. Everything became overblown because of my Evren senses, and I had to make all of them disappear.
“What color do you see now?”
“Black—no, wait. It’s starting to change.” I gasped. “It’s red.” I mentally gaped at the vision. I was surrounded by pure redness, its shade so rich it seemed alive. Would I see it again if I opened my eyes? Did it exist beyond my mind?
My eyelids twitched.
“Don’t open your eyes.”
I forced my eyelids shut, sealing my vision closed. “Why?”
“We’ll have to start over if you do. Now, do you still see it?”
“Yes. What does it mean?”
“It’s your color as Evren.”
“I’m a red dragon?”
“The fastest of us all.” There was a smile in Dyvian’s voice, but I didn’t understand what was so amusing about my Evren shade. Maybe his shade was prettier than mine?
“What’s your color?” I demanded.
“Gold.”
I gasped. “Lucian’s gold, too. Why do I have to be just plain red while you guys get to sparkle?” It was bad enough to turn into a creature with claws, but if I had to be a monster, couldn’t I at least be a glitte
ry gold monster like the Chevalier brothers and not just some ordinary—ugh—red dragon?
“It reacts to your DNA, something like that. You’d have to ask Lucian for a more technical explanation because he’s the one into facts. Anyway, gold dragons are usually bigger. Our line also has the best firepower and we’re considered guardians of our race. The red line is the fastest and highest to fly.”
Now, I knew why he was amused, and I laughed.
Dyvian laughed, too. “I know, I know. You have trouble gliding on air even just three feet off the ground, but as it’s in your blood to fly high, we’ll just have to work on your flying soon.”
Keeping my eyes shut when I was wide awake was getting exhausting, and I decided to distract myself with a bit more Evren trivia. “Are there other colors?”
“Two more. The blue ones are usually small. They’re able to turn invisible more quickly than any other line, and they stay invisible the longest, too. And finally, the green dragons are our race’s warriors. They’re the largest and strongest of all four.”
The information he gave me was interesting, but not enough to distract me. “I want to open my eyes now.”
“Not until you’ve turned.”
“When’s that going to happen?”
“Just concentrate, and I’ll let you know when it’s time.”
“But—”
“Deli.”
“Okay, okay,” I grumbled, feeling like a kid who wasn’t allowed to ask if we had reached our destination. I indulged in a little tantrum, kicking my foot back and forth, spraying tiny pebbles all over, and was rewarded with a “Dammit, Deli.”
Several more minutes passed, although it seemed like hours.
“What do you see?”
I sighed and said with exaggerated patience, “Still the same red shade.”
“Good. If you’ve no trouble maintaining it even while we’re talking, then you’ll probably have no trouble creating your shape. The next thing I want you to do is make that red shade burn.”
“That won’t happen literally, right?”
“Even if it does, fire can never harm you now that you’re Evren. The power to create fire is within you. So, just will it to burn and it will.”
“Then I’ll change?”
“If things proceed normally, yes.”
“And if they don’t?”
“Just do it, Deli.”
It wasn’t the assurance I wanted, but I supposed it was all I’d get from him. Hmph. Stupid gold dragon. I refocused my mind on the endless sea of red, a sea that didn’t ripple but stayed still. I took a deep breath and thought one word.
Burn.
The red sheet blazed into life. Fire once again bathed my skin, invisible, hot, but painless. It was fast becoming a familiar sensation. I could no longer feel the icy climate of the desert. Now, everything was too hot. Every emotion was too sharp.
I finally understood why Dyvian had to hang me upside down.
Turning Evren was like wearing a shirt inside out. While humans concealed their souls within themselves, Evren had to expose them. To turn Evren was to open yourself up completely, leaving nothing in the darkness. The heat tore away the skin of deceit. It burned through pride, fear, misery, and everything else that made even the smallest piece of me untrue.
A spurt of fire flickered inside me.
It was my soul.
And then it was taking over my body and the dragon within me roared into life.
My eyes flew open.
A gold dragon stared back at me. Dyvian. He was laughing, the sound a terrifying mixture of a lion’s roar and the grumble of thunder.
I laughed, too, but stopped abruptly when a higher-pitched version of Dyvian’s laughter emerged from my throat. “That was mine?”
“Yes, that’s yours.”
I gasped in surprise and gasped again when flame shot out of my mouth. “That was mine?”
He couldn’t stop laughing. “That’s yours, too.”
“‘Ew’ for the first one and ‘cool’ for the second.”
“You really have a way with words, Deli. I’ll give you that.” His enormous dragon body shook with mirth, and I almost expected the ground underneath us to crack at the effort it took to carry us both.
“God, we’re huge.”
He laughed harder. His tail twisted and slammed against the ground, the sound akin to a crashing boulder.
“Stop laughing—” I gasped again, but this time I managed to stop myself from breathing out fire. “Oh, my God, Dyvian. Don’t you realize? We’re communicating through our minds.”
My words cut his laughter short, and Dyvian was staring at me in amazement. God, his eyes were huge, too. They were probably the size of my head—my human head. It also occurred to me that my own eyes right now were probably as huge. It was a disgusting thought, and I mentally switched topics before I could think of more ways to describe how ugly I was at the moment.
“Why hadn’t I thought of this?” Dyvian seemed to murmur to himself. “We had always been able to communicate with our minds in Evren form so it’s not surprising that—”
“Dyvian?”
“Nothing.” His jaws formed a smile, which I think he meant to be nice but only ended up grisly. “How does it feel to be Evren?”
“Super. We should use this form more often. We could invite other Evren and have a…a dragon festival. We’d have flying races and—”
“Deli.” He almost sounded like Lucian when he said my name like that.
“What?”
“In this form, our scent becomes more pronounced, and that means leaving a trail for Zekans. Moreover, only a handful of Evren know how to turn.”
I blinked, and it was proof of my immense size that I could sense the weight of my lashes. Oh, my God, but my lashes were heavy. Another thought occurred to me. Oh, my God, but dragons had lashes.
Dyvian’s booming laughter revealed that I had inadvertently “spoken” my thoughts out loud.
“I can’t believe someone like you could…” He shook his head.
I lifted my chin, which was admittedly rather longer than I liked. “Someone like me could…what?”
“Only the oldest and strongest these days are able to let their dragons out.”
“Does that mean I’m special?” I clapped my hands in delight but stopped when my claws made loud sounds of clashing steel.
“Let’s just say you’re more stubborn than the rest.”
“Ha-ha. Very funny.”
“With this, you achieved your goal.”
“My goal?”
“You did say you wanted to be, and I quote for the fifty-seventh time, an ‘Evren warrior chick,’ didn’t you?”
His words pleased me so much I ran to hug him but stopped when my tail—my God, my tail—slapped against a Joshua tree, splitting it in half.
“Oops.”
Dyvian laughed again. “If you keep on doing that, there won’t be any trees left in the desert.”
“Very funny.”
Dyvian’s dragon form somersaulted in the air. His eyes shone with brilliant fire against the darkness. His golden scales glinted.
I laughed. The natural form for Evren might not have been attractive by normal standards, but I’d have been first to admit it also came with a gloriously liberating sensation.
Taking a deep breath, I flew up to join Dyvian in the skies. It took me a while to adjust to the idea of flying with wings, and then I was racing through the desert. Dyvian followed shortly behind me, his chuckle rumbling out like a passing storm. I flew above an oasis and almost fell into the water when I caught sight of my reflection.
I shrieked, then stopped because the sound was just…nightmarish.
Dyvian’s thunder-like laughter burst through the night.
“That was me, wasn’t it, Dyvian?”
“Yup, that was you, and your voice was enough to terrify even hyenas into hiding.”
“You won’t win American Idol with your voice either, you
know.” The reflection on the water came back to me, and I had to say it. “I’m ugly, aren’t I?” Deep inside, I knew I’d be ugly like Dyvian was now, a fact I had planned to ignore. But not anymore.
“Yup.”
Being ugly wasn’t a big deal and I knew it. But I was also sixteen and knowing was different from feeling. Seeing the actual extent of my ugliness was traumatic, but I controlled myself with an effort. If I cried, my tears might be large enough to create a small flood. If I stomped my feet, I might cause an earthquake. Honestly, everything about Evren was so exaggerated.
~~~
Dyvian proceeded directly to the kitchen as was his wont. Laziness and hunger seemed to work hand in hand with him. Merely turning a page could make him tired and hungry.
I clambered up to my room for a quick shower. On my way down, I spied light shining from underneath the door to Lucian’s study. My heart skipped a beat. He was back?
In the two weeks we had been “dating”, today was only the fourth time I was able to catch him at home. I’d have liked to think it was just an awful coincidence, but his trips had become more frequent. The trip to Tokyo had been followed by a sudden overnight stay in DV, and then early this week, he told us he had another “emergency.”
Where, he had been disinclined to reveal.
The door stood slightly ajar, and I tiptoed to it, not wanting to make noise as I peeked in.
Lucian sat behind his desk in the study. I wondered what time he had gotten back and if he had missed me at all. His fingers danced on the keyboard while he spoke on the phone in some foreign language. He was brokering another multimillion-dollar deal, no doubt. Didn’t any of his business associates mind that they were dealing with someone less than half their age?
He glanced up, saw my head poking through the slight gap, and smiled.
It was a dazzling smile. I straightened, looked behind me to make sure Dyvian wasn’t around, and darted inside. I locked the door. Lucian’s eyes stayed on me as I made my way to him. Shyness slowed my steps to a halting pace, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from moving toward him.
Giddiness swept over me. I was excited to share with him my newly acquired, hard-earned warrior-chick status, excited to be with him, excited at the thought of kissing him again, and for a hundred more reasons.