by Stacy M Wray
“By the way, your parents gave us their blessing,” he says, looking a little smug.
“They know?” I ask.
“Well, no…not exactly. I figured I’d get their blessing but I didn’t even know when I was going to propose. I’ve been carrying your ring in my pocket for a couple of weeks now just waiting for the right moment to hit me.” He smiles at me and it makes me think of Braden as a young boy, catching my attention. “Well…I guess it hit me tonight.”
I snuggle into him and say, “I’m so glad. It couldn’t have been more perfect.”
We stay for a little while longer when Braden hugs me and says, “Let’s go home, babe…we’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
My eyes are closed and I say, “You mean flying back to L.A.?”
He chuckles and says, “That…and starting the rest of our lives together.”
Not wanting to move from our spot and the comfort of his arms, I relax even more into his body. “Mmm…I like the sound of that.”
* * *
We’ve been back now for a few days, trying to get back into our daily grind. Braden’s been busy at work trying to play catch-up while I’m sitting on his balcony in a lounge chair going through my emails.
I have my finger on one, ready to delete it, when I become curious. I skim through the contents, skeptical of its inquiry. As I read it for a second time, slower this time, my palms sweat and my heart picks up its pace. For real?
I immediately Google the fashion designer and see that it’s real – and they want me to come to Paris and photograph the start to finish of what it takes to bring an entire clothing line to fruition from the moment the idea’s conceived to the moment models walk the runway. Film is to be involved but they want someone present every day to document the process with still photos.
I’m stunned. I read further and see it would entail me living in Paris for almost a year to make this happen. My mind immediately goes to Braden…it’s déjà vu all over.
I close my laptop and sit in stillness. Before I call the designer, I run through all the scenarios in my mind. Could we survive a year apart? Would Braden be able to come with me? We’re finally at the point I’ve only dreamed of since I fell in love with him in high school. I’m engaged to the man who has promised me he would stop at nothing to see to my happiness every day. Am I willing to test our boundaries?
I know we’re different people now but I can’t help the anxiety accompanying this email. Deciding I’ll call later, when I’ve had time to let the news digest, I go inside to take my shower and get ready for my day.
I’m amazed how one little email can turn my whole world upside down and infiltrate every thought I have for the rest of the entire day.
No – the rest of the entire week.
* * *
Braden walks in the door a little later than usual from work with a huge smile on his face. Walking into the bedroom, where I’ve just finished putting a string of pearls around my neck, he says, “There you are – I see you got my text.” He wraps his arms around me from behind, and I watch him from the mirror as he kisses me on my neck, inhaling the aroma of his favorite perfume I sprayed on about ten minutes ago. “Damn, you smell so good. Makes me want to stay home and do dirty things to you.”
I smile, feeling the familiar ache build, knowing what his dirty things entail. “I thought you had a surprise for me…although I’m always up for your filth,” I tell him.
His eyes flick to my reflection in the mirror and says, “You’re right…there’s always time for that after.” Holding my gaze for a moment, he tightens the hold he has on me and says, “Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you back in my life?”
“Luck?” I’m surprised by his comment. Braden has been awarded all good things in his life by hard work and gumption – he goes after everything with purpose and intent.
He flashes me a sheepish grin and says, “No…maybe luck isn’t the right word.” Then his expression turns more serious and he says, “I always knew where you were, Karma. Why do you think I moved from San Jose to L.A.? I didn’t know how or when, but I wasn’t going to just fade away into the background.”
I’m shocked by his admission – I can’t believe he moved for me. “You just packed up and left your job because of me?”
The smile he gives me not only reaches his eyes but every crevice on his face. “I’d do anything for you…don’t you know that by now?”
The guilt about the information I’ve been sitting on for a week invades our moment but I keep it in check, not wanting to ruin his beautiful confession.
“What’s wrong, babe? Have I just creeped you out with my stalker-like tendencies?” He must have read the concern on my face regarding my job offer, and I quickly dispel all signs.
Shaking my head slowly, I say, “No…I think it’s one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard.” He spins me around and has his mouth on mine in no time, his firm lips confirming that he’s here for the long haul.
“Come on, it’s time for your surprise,” he says, taking me by the hand and ushering me to the door.
On the car ride, Braden seems fidgety and we’re both lost in our thoughts. Mine are drifting to the phone call I made to the man who sent me the email from Paris. Mr. Lacroix, the man who wants me to move to Paris for a year, offering me a staggering amount to do so. He explained everything he wanted to capture about his new spring line, and I told him I needed time to think about his most generous offer. Understanding my position, we ended the call with my promise to let him know as soon as I could with the results.
Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I notice we’re now driving through the suburb of L.A. known as Echo Park. I’m immediately drawn to its charm but wonder why we’re here. I look at Braden. He notices my puzzled face and reaches for my hand, squeezing it. “Almost there, babe,” he says, with a little uneasiness.
In a few more minutes, we’re pulling up to an adorable white house ensconced with lush greenery and palm trees. Braden raises his eyebrows at me and gets out, walking around the car to open my door.
“What is this, Braden?” I ask as he shuts the car door behind me.
He takes my hand and leads me up the short walkway that sits behind a white iron gate. Removing a key from his pocket, he unlocks the door and opens it up, waiting for me to pass through.
It’s adorable. Hardwood floors run throughout the house and windows are everywhere, giving it a light and airy feel. As I look around, my eyes land on Braden and he’s trying to read my reaction. “Well? What do you think?”
I’m catching on but want to hear the explanation come from him. “Is there a reason I’m supposed to have an opinion?” I ask him.
“I think everyone should have an opinion on their first home…the home they plan to start a life in…raise their kids in.” He swallows hard and I notice he’s nervous. “Say something, Karma, you’re killing me here.”
I slowly walk through the rest of the house, Braden trailing along behind me. When I’ve seen it all, I turn to him and say, “I love it.”
He picks me up and spins me around. “You’re not just saying that?” His excitement is contagious and I laugh as he finally puts me down.
“I’m not kidding, Braden. I love it. But how on earth can we afford a house?”
He smirks at me and says, “That’s the other half of my surprise – I got a huge promotion at LARU, thanks to the fantastic job you did for us.” He beams and I’m so happy for him. I throw my arms around his neck in excitement. “It came with a pretty substantial pay raise.”
“Oh my god, that’s great news. I’m so proud of you.” I kiss him fervently and then say against his lips, “I love you so much.”
His kiss is his response, one causing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He holds me up by my backside and I pull away and say, “Are you going to put an offer on this house?”
“No,” he says and I’m confused. “I already bought it – it’s ours, Karma.”
My ey
es get wide and I say, “What?”
“Yep. Remember when I took the phone call when we were having dinner with Jeremy and Rachael?” I nod my response. “Well, I put in a low-ball offer. The real estate agent called me to tell me it had been accepted.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “This is ours?” He nods his head in complete exaggeration.
I wiggle out of his hold and wander around the house more. Ending up back in the kitchen, I open the door leading to the back yard. Standing on the small wooden deck, I see it’s not big but it’s perfect for us, surrounded by a wooden privacy fence that’s typical in a neighborhood like this one.
I turn when I hear Braden behind me. “I know I took a huge risk, but things just happened so fast.”
Cupping his face in my hands, I look into his eyes, his love for me evident. “I’m happy you did. Thank you.”
He turns to look at the perfectly landscaped backyard and says, “I wanted us to have a place to raise a family. A condo’s no place for kids.”
And when he mentions our future, I realize the whole time I’ve been here, I haven’t once thought about my job offer until now. It doesn’t matter anymore. My place is with Braden. Our journey depicts pain and struggle and I’m not about to jeopardize our future together for a job assignment. L.A. has plenty to offer in jobs. As I decide, a comforting peace settles into my bones.
“Our kids will love this back yard,” I tell him.
As we stand in silence, both of us probably envisioning our life here, I say to him, “Do you think we would have ended up here had I followed you to UCLA like we planned?”
He shrugs and says, “I’m not sure, to be honest. I think it was important for you to find yourself.” His eyes look down for a minute and then back up to me. “Remember the night at the campground? You were desperately trying to explain what your road trip meant?”
I slowly nod my head in response. Such an intense night, one I still think about occasionally.
“Well, it took me a long time to let all of what you said sink in. But the sad part is it was too late by the time I did. I get it now, Karma. I understand why you took the path you did.” His eyes are shiny now, making mine shine too. “Watching the DVD just confirmed everything. I loved seeing you be you, even though it hurt I couldn’t see how lost you felt after graduation. I felt like I let you down.”
He still beats himself up. “No, Braden, you didn’t let me down. Sometimes we can’t see what is so close to us. I honestly didn’t even notice until Jeremy decided to enlighten me. It was just one of those aha moments for me, and I couldn’t even believe that an outsider could so easily put a finger on it.”
He hugs me and says into my ear, “Well, I for one, am so happy that you found your way back to me.”
Yes, I did. And it’s where I intend on staying. I can’t fathom a future without Braden. From a sad boy who never forgot me, separated by hundreds of miles, to the young man who pursued me again in high school, knowing we were meant to be together, and now to the man who never took his eye off me, even when we lived separate lives.
I think he found me even before I did.
* * *
One year later…
Braden and I love our home in Echo Park. Our careers continue to flourish, neither one of us have a lot of free time but we make the most of what we get. My career has taken off and I no longer worry about my next assignment. I’m grateful.
We had our wedding in Colorado Springs but kept it small. I never dreamt of a huge wedding with all the bells and whistles, so we found a small chapel and kept the day simple, our family and closest friends serving as our witnesses as we exchanged vows.
Rachael and Jeremy are expecting their first child and seeing them meant everything. Jeremy will make the best dad – I’ve always known this. They both looked so happy and that made me happy. Jeremy was right…we’re making new memories and we still keep in touch. Every time we visit Colorado we get with them and catch up on our lives. They’ve even promised to visit us in California before their baby arrives.
Stella’s seeing someone steadily and brought him to our wedding. His name is Thomas. Not Tom but Thomas. They met at a political fundraiser and have been seeing each other ever since and seem like a perfect fit. He’s absolutely taken by her and lavishes her with affection. She lets him. I’ve never seen Stel so content in all of my life. I think it’s just a matter of time before Braden and I are attending their nuptials.
To this day I have never shared my job offer in Paris with Braden. I know I will someday, but I never wanted to plant the seed of doubt in his head. I also don’t regret turning down Mr. Lacroix’s offer. Not once. I love my life with Braden here in California. He makes sure I’m happy. He does this by occasionally saying, “You good, babe?” and I know exactly what he’s doing. He’s very intuitive these days, sometimes bordering on hovering. But I know where he’s coming from and I allow his concern without judgment. Like I said, someday I’ll confess the job offer…just not now.
Even though my years without Braden were so difficult, I never had a clue he kept such close tabs on me. Looking back, I guess this shouldn’t surprise me – Braden loves from the depth of his soul. But I never knew he never stopped loving me. It hurts we missed out on so many years. Part of me recognizes I needed those years to flourish, making our time together now more meaningful.
I try not to dwell – it all turned out how it was supposed to. Braden and I share a connection that can’t be severed. Not by time. Not by distance. Not by other people. Our hearts knew what was to be, leading us back to our destined future, mostly thanks to Braden. I had thrown in the towel, never expecting to see him again. Thank God he never gave up on us. His dedication to us made this happen. I’d once considered him selfish – and he was for a short time – but he’s proven himself to be anything but.
I’m standing in front of our kitchen window gazing at our small but alluring back yard, peeling potatoes to prepare for dinner. I hear Braden come through the front door, plopping his keys on the table by the door. His footsteps search for me and I know exactly when he spots me. I smile but keep swiping the peeler across the roughness of the potato. In three strides his arms wrap around my middle and his lips meet my neck. Chills run down my spine and my actions cease as I close my eyes and soak him in.
“Hey,” he tells me, rubbing his nose against my ear.
“Hey.”
“What’s for dinner?”
“I thought you could grill steaks and I’m making Au gratin potatoes and sesame green beans.”
He squeezes me in approval. “Sounds good. I’m going to change first.” I nod.
I hear him leave the kitchen when he pauses and turns. “You good, babe?”
I tilt my head and look at him over my shoulder. “Yeah, Braden. I’m good.” I make sure he sees my eyes so he knows I speak the truth.
I’m really good.
Epilogue
BRADEN
Sitting beneath what Sophie deemed as the world’s biggest pine tree, I keep an eye on the kids while Karma sleeps beside me.
“Hey, Sophie, don’t stray so close to the water…Kaden has a tendency to follow you everywhere,” I tell her.
“I won’t, Daddy,” she calls back. Then I hear her sweet little voice say to Kaden, “You stay right here by this rock, okay? I’m going to teach you how to dig for bugs.”
His face shows nothing but pure delight as Sophie finds her two-year-old brother a stick to dig with.
Sophie’s just turned four but she may as well be going on twelve with the way she’s taken over Karma’s duties as mom. Not that Karma has willingly handed over her special title, one meaning far too much for her to relinquish to even her favorite little girl. If I had my guess, Sophie will grow up to become a teacher. She finds at least one or two things a day to teach Kaden, instruction driving her sweet personality. Okay, maybe a little bossy but she’s still so sweet nonetheless.
Sophie’s light brown hair blows in the br
eeze and she shoves it out of her face with her free hand, her other one penetrating the earth with all the strength a four-year-old can muster. Kaden looks on, thrilled with the small pile of dirt accumulating between them.
I glance down at Karma, who is still sound asleep beside me. She gets more beautiful as the years go by and I can’t believe how much Sophie shares her looks. When I see pictures of Karma as a little girl, I swear I’m looking at Sophie – it’s so amazing. Kaden is more of a combination of both of us, he has my eyes and my mannerisms but he has Karma’s precious mouth.
Today, sitting beneath this pine, is the true definition of contentment. I don’t take for granted all the blessings I have in my life. Since the day Karma walked through the doors of LARU, I swore never to take another day or her for granted ever again. I think I’ve lived up to my promise fairly well.
Right now we’re in Colorado Springs visiting grandma and grandpa, and we’re at the very spot where Karma and I had our first date. Karma and I love where we grew up so much, we make it a point to visit as often as our jobs allow. The kids love it here and this is where I’ll teach them to fish.
We stay in L.A. because of our jobs but someday I can see us moving back here. We haven’t discussed it in any serious capacity but I can tell it’s something Karma entertains and I would be good with the decision.
My parents are still in California and I’m thankful that the kids have a set of grandparents close to them. My parents adore them just as much as Karma’s do. Having grandchildren has changed my mom and she dotes on them like all grandparents should. It amazes me how our kids have helped heal her hardened heart. We now talk about Uncle Daniel all of the time. I want my kids to know about him and so do my parents.
“Kaden, that’s not how you do it. Here…let me show you again.” I laugh as her words reach my ears, not caring about the dirt settling on their clothes.
Times like these I like to reflect on my life. To always ensure I’m one hundred percent aware of what surrounds me. I do this for the mere fact I wasn’t aware Karma had gotten so lost in our relationship back when soccer held my life hostage. It kills me I didn’t see or understand any of what she went through. I realize she wasn’t abused or neglected, but it caused our demise and that’s just as bad in my thought process. I’ve been granted a second chance with the love of my life and I’m not about to do anything to fuck that up. At least not consciously. I’m not perfect – far from the unattainable meaning.