Remember Honor

by Ginny Sterling

  He’d left.

  She quickly dialed Hody and heard him answer.

  “Jason, is Brandon with you? Is he safe?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh good. Ok. I just wanted to check,” she said casually, trying to keep from being clingy or freaking out that Brandon was gone. She practically felt sick at the idea that he’d fled without a word.

  “Yep. We are good. I gotta go.”

  “Oh…,” Tabitha said just before she heard a dial tone. Well that was weird and a little disconcerting, she thought, stunned. They were together but couldn’t talk? Maybe something was wrong and that was why he couldn’t talk? She quickly texted him.

  Is everything okay?

  Glancing up, she saw the front door open suddenly and the relief that hit her was almost overwhelming. Brandon was carrying a paper bag full of groceries… and flowers? He looked a little embarrassed as he met her eyes and then quickly looked away.

  “You went to the store?” Tabitha asked numbly, as he bent down to pick up a twelve pack of cokes and nudged the door shut behind him, carrying it to the kitchen. She walked over and set the deadbolt, realizing that she needed to give him a key if he was staying here for a bit. She had an emergency key hanging on a nail inside the entryway door but she hadn’t told him it was there. How did he lock the door?

  “I wanted to be back earlier to surprise you, but Hody had to stop for gas and then wouldn’t quit talking to Luka in the parking lot. You know they can really talk a lot of trash with each other? I think the ice cream is melted,” he said apologetically, quickly putting the pint in the freezer, not meeting her eyes.

  Tabby just stood there, processing everything.

  “Do you like Rocky Road?” he asked, breaking the awkward silence.

  “I like every kind of ice cream,” she said, entering the kitchen, still reeling at the relief in her at seeing him return. She’d been scared that he’d left or that she’d hurt his feelings.

  “That’s what is nice about us,” he replied quietly. “We just get along, don’t we?”

  Brandon turned to her, handing her the small bouquet of roses. Six bright pink and orange blooms surrounded by greenery were practically thrust in her face unexpectedly, making her eyes widen in surprise.

  “What’s this?”

  “Flowers.”

  “Brandon,” Tabitha whispered, floored. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Maybe I wanted to,” he admitted, watching her.

  She reached up and accepted the flowers from him, hoping he didn’t notice how much her hand was trembling. Immediately, she smelled them, unsure of what to say next.

  “Do you like flowers?”

  “I love them.”

  “I kinda guessed that with all the bulbs today but I wasn’t sure if that was just another ‘honey-do’ item or if you really liked them,” he teased, the corner of his lip turning upwards in a smile. Tabitha stood there stunned at his smile, realizing that this was the first time he really resembled the man she remembered before his capture.

  “You have the prettiest eyes,” he whispered as if he was surprised by the admission. Tabitha knew her mouth dropped open in shock.

  “I do?”

  “Yeah, they are really beautiful and expressive.”

  “Brandon, what are you doing?” she said, backing away nervously, laughing and turning away from him. “You don’t have to flatter me or lay it on thick. I’m your friend regardless of what… oh!”

  She felt his hand suddenly on her arm, spinning her back around to face him. His brow was frowning, his dark eyes searching hers. He was within her personal space and her heart surged in anticipation at the unexpected, but welcome presence.

  “I realized today that I have a chance to live my life again,” he admitted, watching her. Tabitha could feel his hand relax on her arm just moments before it came to rest on her waist. His palm was warm through the material and the simple touch set her ablaze.

  This was the man she’d had a crush on for so long…

  “I have a chance to correct a few mistakes along the way.”

  “Like what,” she asked, realizing how breathless she sounded. She sounded like she’d run three miles in mid-August in an insulated parka. Her heart was racing, her body reacting, and he was just standing there coolly like this was an everyday occurrence for him.

  For her, it was quite the opposite.

  This was a dream come true for Brandon to look at her like this!

  “If we were married or getting married, I would have done things in a different order. We would have dated, I would have brought you flowers, and…” he said, hesitating, his eyes searching her face.

  “…And?” she whispered, unable to move.

  “I would have kissed you,” he admitted, leaning down ever so slowly.

  Tabitha couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

  It was like he was scared too, but unable to pull away. His eyes didn’t close until the last moment, just seconds before his lips touched hers. She felt his breath mingle with hers as his lips caressed, pulled back, and then pressed against hers again, infinitely exquisite.

  The jolt she felt was electric.

  Her hand blindly set the flowers to the side where the counter should be, regardless of what was there, and then came to rest on his shoulder. She felt his arm slowly move around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

  This wasn’t just a simple kiss now; this was a tender embrace that they were sharing. He deepened the kiss, making her heart ache painfully in her chest with longing as she heard his intake of breath as her other hand touched the side of his head tenderly. She wasn’t sure which of them broke the kiss, only that neither moved as they stood there in each other’s arms, trying to catch their breath.

  “Wow,” she said softly, as he lay his hand against her head, cradling her to his chest in a hug.

  “Wow is right,” he confirmed quietly, just holding her. “I should have done that long ago – and I’m an idiot for not doing so.”

  “Yeah, you are.”

  Brandon threw back his head and laughed. She felt him shake with the intensity of it within her arms and found herself smiling joyfully at this glimpse of him breaking through. He wiped his eyes and grinned at her only seconds before releasing her.

  “I was gonna make you dinner, give you the flowers, and then tell you that I wanted to do this the right way before I marry you for real… but now I just don’t know,” he said blandly, but the expression in his eyes was teasing as he looked at her sideways, unpacking the paper bag.

  There were two small cutlets of steak, two potatoes wrapped in plastic, and a head of broccoli. The last thing he pulled from the bag was a massive cupcake.

  “What’s that?”

  “You’ll just have to wait,” he taunted.

  “You can’t tease a girl with cake.”

  “Sure, I can.”

  “Seriously – is it your birthday?”

  “You aren’t a patient person, are you?”

  “Nope,” she said flatly, looking over his shoulder as he hid the cupcake away from her. Laughing, she tugged on his arm, trying to peek, only to have him round on her, putting himself between her and the counter.

  “Tabby, if you don’t back off – I’m going to kiss you again just to get you to stop peeking. Let me make dinner for us.”

  “That is not a threat, soldier,” she countered fiercely, almost as if she was challenging him. “Friends, spouses, comrades, and soldiers help each other – so I plan on helping make dinner. You aren’t alone anymore and threatening to kiss me doesn’t stop me. It only makes me want…”

  Tabitha grew quiet as she realized the truth of what she was going to blurt out. The promise of another kiss would only make her try harder to see what kind of cupcake he’d picked from the case.

  Brandon pulled her into his arms, kissing her thoroughly again. It was like he couldn’t get enough of her and she certainly didn’t mind. The wall, the dam between them,
had been broken and there was a certain refuge they could take in each other’s presence.

  “I got a few necessities today,” he whispered against her lips, dotting the words with an infinite gentleness she’d never anticipated. “I bought us a cupcake to share. Chocolate with raspberry filling – the wedding cake you wanted.”

  “You remembered?” she breathed, touched at the gesture.

  “Oh yes,” he admitted tenderly. “I know I’ve got quite a way to go, but I want this to work out between us. I thought maybe it could be a way to signify a fresh start to a life together. Our cake, our future, our world.”

  “Are you really wanting to try this?”

  “I do. I want to get to know you more, I want people to see us as a couple, and I need that security knowing that you’ve always got my back.”

  “Of course, I do,” she said softly, reaching up to caress his handsome face. “But you don’t have to pursue the romance-thing if you aren’t feeling it. I will always be your friend and always have your back.”

  “Tabitha, my Tabby, I meant what I said and I do want this,” he said nervously, fishing in his jeans pocket. He shyly held up two thin gold bands between them that made her knees buckle nervously and with anticipation at the meaning of it.

  “…I want this very much,” he admitted.

  “Brandon?” she whispered, stunned.

  He didn’t answer, only reaching for her hand that had been touching his face. She felt his hands shaking as he slid the tiny band on her finger. It was a little loose, but she wasn’t about to complain.

  If someone would have told her a year ago that the handsome soldier she’d seen at the picnic would be standing in her kitchen, putting a ring on her finger, she would have laughed at the idea of it… yet here he was.

  “I want you to wear it, even if it’s not official, and just think of me. Think of us,” he amended quietly, his eyes searching hers. He slipped the other band on his own finger and held it up for her to see.

  “This is my reminder that everything is going to be okay because I’ve got the best person in the world on my side,” he confessed.

  “I’m going to earn the right to ask you to marry me for real someday, Tabitha Mason, but until then I want everyone we meet to know that I’ve put my claim on you and don’t plan on giving up. I want to be yours – and I need you to be mine.”

  Tabby felt a lump of emotion in her throat as she saw the honesty, fear, and truth in his gaze. He did want this, and by golly, she did too. This was completely backwards, so strange, so different, but in a way it was so good for her soul.

  “I’m yours,” she admitted, her voice thick with intensity, knowing the truth. She didn’t just have a crush, she admired and was halfway in love with the man before her already just knowing how sweet and sensitive he was deep down inside.

  “And I am yours,” he repeated quietly, nodding, as he swallowed nervously. “Now, I’m beyond starving and we’ve got mock-wedding cake waiting on us. How about I cook the steaks and you get the vegetables? Then I can show you the flowerbeds that Hody and I worked on today.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  Chapter 8

  Tabitha was stunned at how wonderful this last month had been. Brandon had been nothing but kind and polite towards her. He was friendly, affectionate, without crossing a line. It was like he was getting used to just being a part of the world and apparently had enjoyed working in the yard more than he ever realized.

  There were several days that she’d returned from the school to see him pulling weeds from the bushes or trimming the hedges that ran the length of the small house she owned.

  Once she arrived, he would always head inside with her, get a shower, and then they would spend the rest of the evening together. Their favorite thing was to sit together, his arm around her shoulders, and watch movies. She had no idea he liked movies this much and offered to take him to a theater.

  “…There would be buttery popcorn, gallon sized sodas, and amazing acoustics,” she started, only to see him look away.

  “I don’t know if the darkness inside the theater would be too much for me. I’m afraid I would have a setback in the darkness and I don’t want you to see that side of me.”

  “Oh, I forgot,” she admitted. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Someday, just not yet,” he confessed, lacing his fingers with hers. “I still get nightmares, just not as often, and I feel like I’ve come so far.”

  “… And you have,” she agreed, looking at their hands and their matching bands. It still amazed her sometimes that he wanted this between them. Those bands represented reminders that there was someone to support them, not the act of marriage. She’d had a few people ask about the wedding band she sported, and just smiled in response.

  It was no one else’s business.

  “I don’t want to have a setback.”

  “Then we won’t go,” she shrugged. “It’s that simple.”

  “Do you want to do something else?”

  “I thought maybe we could dress up and go to dinner? Like an official date on Friday night…” she said shyly.

  “That’s perfect,” he agreed, reaching over and kissing her on the temple. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. I’d like that.”

  “You don’t think its cheesy or silly since we’ve practically had a nice dinner together every night since you’ve been here?”

  “No. I like the idea of being with you out in public. I want to be seen with you on my arm like a normal couple.”

  “We are a normal couple,” she corrected, poking him in the stomach and realizing that he’d gained a little weight over the last few weeks. He wasn’t so sallow and gaunt anymore, and was starting to resemble the old version of himself.

  She caught him shirtless in the backyard, trimming the large tree that had a dead branch. His wiry body was still pale but looking more and more healthy. She could see the outline of muscles and marveled at the faint dusting of hair on his chest, before she turned away, her heart hammering in her chest. That small trail that ran from his belly button down could not be unseen and she nearly swallowed her tongue. He was beautiful like some chiseled old-world statue.

  “We also got invited to a barbeque at John’s,” she began, knowing how much he hesitated at first being surrounded by his friends and teammates. He’d met with them one-on-one several times over the last few weeks and now might be a good time to try a group gathering. If he was willing to try a restaurant, why not a barbeque?

  “We can try it, I just don’t want to answer a bunch of questions, you know?” he admitted. “I just can’t. It’s like reliving it and I don’t want to think about the past.”

  “I’ll make sure of it,” she promised, knowing that if she let everyone know ahead of time, they would help out. They all cared for their ‘brother’ and texted her all the time to see how he was doing.

  “Then let’s try it.”

  “Great. I will let Lily know tomorrow at work.”

  “Can I say something silly?”

  “Can I make a smart-aleck comment in return?” she teased, feeling him unfold, fold, and caress her fingers with his.

  “I wouldn’t expect anything different,” he chuckled nervously.

  “Spit it out, soldier,” she prompted, grinning.

  “I need this more than I ever realized,” he admitted quietly, lacing his fingers with hers again. He brought their hands up to his lips and kissed the ring where it sat on her finger. “I adore holding your hand, seeing that ring, and knowing deep down inside we are okay.”

  “I’m kinda partial to it too,” she replied softly, looking into his eyes as he watched her. “I like knowing that you think of me. I can’t tell you how much it means to me or the feelings it gives me.”

  “I’m scared I will disappoint you sometimes,” he admitted, holding up their hands together, his fingers clenching hers. “I know that this is going to be a long haul, but I feel like I’ve come so far already. I actually t
hought about getting a job so I can try to reacquaint myself with people, you know?”

  “I think that is a brilliant idea – just don’t push yourself too hard.”

  “I know. I feel like a chicken sometimes.”

  “Don’t,” she argued immediately. “No one knows what you went through and only you can be the judge of if you are ready or not.”

  “I don’t want you to ever think I’m a loser or a mooch.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  He just smiled softly and nodded, leaning over to kiss her hand again.

  “Brandon?” she asked, hesitating, as she knew she wanted him to kiss her again. The way it made her feel just being around him, seeing the way he looked at her like she was important, made her feel… treasured.

  “Yes, my little Tabby?”

  “You missed,” she whispered, testing him with a soft hesitating smile.

  “So, I did,” he admitted, leaning down and kissing her tenderly.

  Tabitha was both nervous and excited about their date. The only thing she had to compare it to, was the last time she actually met up with him at Ethan and Daisy’s wedding. Every other time she saw him, they were already together and it felt comfortable, familiar.

  This was a date.

  D. A. T. E.

  This was different.

  A date meant a romantic event that showed interest in the other person in hopes for more… more affection, more emotion, more intensity between them. How much more could her poor heart take? She was already half in love with the man. Being pursued, having Brandon’s full attention, and knowing he wanted a relationship would solidify things in her heart.

  The plan was that they were going to meet up at the house after work, she would change, and they would head out. There were no other details shared because she was trying to keep it low-stress, low-key for Brandon. She just wanted to be with him and really didn’t care where they went.

  Pulling up to the house, she was shocked to see him standing there, pressed shirt and slacks, holding the door open for her. He was breathtaking and his eyes looked as excited as she felt. They were both anxious for this evening.