Lois Lavrisa - Chubby Chicks 02 - Murderous Muffins

by Lois Lavrisa

  And number three—I couldn’t trust myself with men. Apparently I picked them poorly. Ten years ago, Bradley, the cad, up and left me a week before our wedding. Well, it was a little more complicated than that. But in the end, he’d left.

  I wasn’t going to let anyone take my heart and bamboozle me again, even someone with dimples and a cute backside. No. He represented money, and I needed that more than I needed a relationship.

  Fourth and last, he kind of gave me the creeps. There was something disingenuous about him.

  Exiting the kitchen into the backyard, I unlocked the shed and retrieved a sheet of plastic and a small piece of plywood, plus a hammer and nails. Soon I was back in the house and made my way upstairs to fix Cat’s room.

  Entering the hallway, I bumped into Xavier locking his room door.

  “Let me take this for you.” Xavier took the piece of plywood from me.

  “I’m fine.” I dropped the hammer, nearly hitting his foot.

  “You missed.” Xavier smirked as he picked up the hammer and handed it back to me. “Want to try again?”

  “I didn’t mean to get you.”

  “I know; it was a joke.”

  My face felt warm as my heart sped up. “I knew that.”

  He followed me to Cat’s room.

  My temperature rose. As I pulled my hair from my neck, it caught on my necklace. I winced.

  Xavier’s eyebrow arched. “You need help?”

  “I think I’m caught.” I tugged at my hair.

  “I’ll untangle you.” He set down the plywood and then walked behind me. Soon his fingers were on my neck. “Nice pearls.”

  Momentarily I closed my eyes as I took in a breath. He smelled like fresh air. I couldn’t read him. He was both nice and unsettling. “They were my great-great-grandmother’s.”

  “From the diamond-encrusted clasp and the way the pearls are strung, this looks like a vintage necklace. Absolutely exquisite. A very stunning and expensive heirloom indeed.”

  Why did he sound like some cultured aristocrat all of a sudden? I asked, “Do you know a lot about jewelry?”

  Xavier chuckled. “Enough to know that this is quite a fine piece.”

  “It’s old, but I don’t actually know much more about it.”

  “You must have it insured?”

  “No.”

  “Oh?”

  “I mean, it’s not that I ever take it off, other than when I shower. Also, I’ve never gotten it appraised.” An appraisal and insurance cost money, and that was in short supply. A thin bead of perspiration formed on my forehead. Why was I feeling uneasy? Maybe the necklace was worth something. If that were the case, perhaps I should find out. Perhaps selling it would help out with the bills.

  “Done. Hair and necklace are separated.” He stepped back and looked at the partially collapsed ceiling and then down at the floor. “Leak?”

  It had no less than a hundred leaks, rotted supports, and too many issues to name. “Just a tiny one.”

  “Hmm.” Pointing up, Xavier said, “You might have your roofer look into this. There may be damage to that supporting beam there.”

  “Uh huh.” A few months ago a contractor had told me the entire roof needed to be torn off and rebuilt, and had to meet the architectural guideline for historic properties, the estimate was over thirty-five thousand dollars.

  “Or your handyman.”

  He didn’t know he was looking at the handyman—or woman, in my case. “Sure, I’ll let them know. Thanks for your help.”

  “Catch you later.” Xavier left the room.

  While Cat was away at the Sunshine Market, I spent the next hour doing what I could to make Cat’s bedroom livable. I managed to get the folding leg on the cot to stay up. The ceiling looked pretty well protected with the plastic I put up. I found a small oriental runner to place on top of the plywood over the rotted floorboard. I made the cot with fresh sheets and a nice quilt. I set clean, thick towels in a stack on top. Fluffing up the pillow, I looked around the room. Although not glamorous, I knew it would suffice.

  Bless Cat’s heart. She didn’t want to be alone in her house. I couldn’t blame her. I just hoped that she and Andrew were going to be all right. Cat hadn’t been the same since her dad died a few months ago, followed by our friend Lucy’s death. And Annie Mae and Cat had taken it upon themselves to seek justice for her. I was proud of them for their loyalty and tenacity. As for me, I’d stayed out of it. I had enough on my hands. Anyway, they seemed to have the knack for amateur detective work. That was something I never wanted to do.

  Looking at the bed where Cat would sleep, I knew that this had to be tough for her. Losing a parent and being away from her family.

  Gathering up my tools, I left the room.

  As I made my way down the hallway, I noticed a few nails sticking out on a baseboard. Since I already had the hammer, I bent down to fix them.

  “Good morning, Miss Bezu.” Lily passed me in the hallway. She had on skimpy faded jean shorts that showed part of her firm round bottom. Her legs were tan and fit, her ample breasts perky under her tight tank top. She twisted her curly, long auburn hair into a ponytail as she walked, calling back to me. “The only thing that gets me up in the morning is the smell of your muffins. If it weren’t for them, I’m afraid I would sleep all day.”

  She had told me she worked an evening job in the entertainment industry over the bridge in South Carolina. The Westin conference and convention center was there—and a few gentlemen’s clubs, one named Bare Assets and another Bottoms Up. Although she paid her rent with a stack of small bills, I still hoped she worked at the Westin rather than disrobing for leering men.

  Another set of footsteps made me turn around. Behind Lily ambled her weightlifter boyfriend, Frank. He was as wide as he was tall, like a tree stump. He gave me a nod. “Morning.” He paid me extra to stay with Lily, although I wasn’t sure how I felt about him spending the night so much.

  “Good morning, Frank. Did you sleep well?” I asked.

  Frank narrowed his eyes. “Not with all the singing.”

  “Mr. Phong?” I already knew the answer.

  “Yeah. He must’ve downloaded a ton of new songs on his iPod last night. He sang for hours and hours on end,” Lily added.

  “He’s an annoying little foreign turd.” Frank thudded down the stairs.

  Lily made her way to the bottom of the stairs and shouted up to me, “Frank has been such a crab ’cause he hasn’t slept in days. It’s getting bad.”

  I pounded a nail in. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  Grabbing another nail, I hammered it into a corner section of the baseboard. As the nail went in, the wood split, exposing an army of carpenter ants.

  Now I’d need to add getting rid of ants to my lengthy to-do list, a list that always had more items added than crossed off.

  Chapter Three

  After I put away the tools, I went back into the house. Frank and Lily sat at the kitchen table.

  Lily popped a piece of muffin into her mouth. “Miss Bezu, I really don’t want to bother you because you are so nice to us, but, seriously, you really have to do something about Mr. Phong. My Frank is getting so grumpy and bad-tempered.”

  Frank let out a grunt, then kissed Lily.

  Realizing that I had to make peace so that everyone could be happy and live together, I said, “I will talk to him.” I went into the refrigerator and pulled out some fresh fruit salad that I had made the day before. “Y’all are welcome to this as well.”

  “What you need to do is wring his neck,” Frank grumbled as he spooned some fruit onto a plate.

  “Hey, he’s not that bad.” Lily scowled at Frank.

  “Poor guy,” I said. “It’s got to be hard on him, not knowing the language, not being able to communicate.”

  “Can’t he learn to fit in?” Frank shoved a piece of apple in his mouth.

  “I’m sure he tries. And in your profession, you’ll have to learn to get along with all ty
pes of people,” Lily said to Frank.

  “No, I won’t. I’m going to be a PA who gets straight to the point, examines, diagnoses, prescribes, and moves on,” Frank said. “I don’t have to make friends with them.”

  “But you’ll have to make a little small talk and get to know your patients,” Lily said.

  Frank shook a finger in the air. “Annoying people like Mr. Phong I will get in and out of the exam room in record time.”

  Attempting to gain empathy for Mr. Phong, I said, “How lonely he must be. We are the only people he knows.”

  “I thought he had a relative who paid his way here. An uncle or cousin,” Lily added.

  “Yes, that’s right. He has a cousin who lives in Garden City. I think they both work at the same company.” I picked up the empty plates and walked them over to the sink.

  “Yeah, I remember. I think his cousin was here for like a minute and they argued a lot. I don’t remember if you were home then, Miss Bezu.” Frank took a sip of coffee. “See? This goes to show that the Phong guy can’t get along with anyone. Even his own family.”

  “You know, I do kind of feel sorry for him. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be in a strange land.” Lily stood.

  “He’s the one who’s strange, not the USA.” Frank got up and thrust his chair in. “I tell you what, he keeps that up, we may have to find another place to live.”

  “Good heavens. You won’t have to do that. I’ll do my best to make sure that Mr. Phong is quieter.” Although I had no idea how I was going to do that. I just had to do damage control.

  “What are you going to do?” Lily raised an eyebrow.

  “Whatever it takes.” I squirted soap on the dishes in the sink. “I will make sure that he knows that he needs to be a little quieter.”

  “Humph.” Frank’s watch beeped. “Time to inject my medicine.”

  “Oh?” I filled the sink with hot water and then turned to look at Frank. “Are you okay?”

  “Don’t worry, Miss Bezu, he’s not sick.” Lily put her hand on Frank’s thick bicep.

  “Just a maintenance thing.” Frank grabbed Lily by the hand, leading her out of the kitchen.

  “Like vitamins, sort of,” Lily called back. “He really is a sweet, nice guy but gets grouchy with lack of sleep, and his special medicine seems to make it worse. Please forgive him.”

  After I finished the dishes and wiped down the countertops, I placed the remaining muffins on a plate and covered them with plastic wrap. I didn’t want the ants to get to them.

  Hearing the front door squeak open, I went into the hallway.

  Cat held two brown paper bags with the words Sunshine Market on the side. “I got some vegetables and fresh fruits and lots of other yummy organic things.”

  I took one bag from her, as we both made our way to the kitchen. “I can put them away.”

  Cat added, “I’ve got to get more from my car.”

  I sat the bag on the counter and peered in. The smell of sweet peaches wafted from the bag. “There’s so much here already.”

  “Not more groceries. Boxes of paperwork.”

  “Paperwork?” I took out tomatoes and placed them on the windowsill.

  “My mom handed over her accounting duties to Andrew. She just doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. Of course he doesn’t mind; however, he can’t seem to make the books balance. I told him I’d take a look and see what’s going on with them. Now that Andrew and the kids aren’t here, I’ll have uninterrupted time to look them over.”

  “That’ll be nice.”

  Cat made a deep sigh. “I don’t get it. My dad never had a problem balancing them, but Andrew does.”

  Lifting a fragrant bunch of cilantro from the bag, I said, “You’ll get it under control in no time, I’m sure.”

  Cat pulled a few avocados from a bag. “I thought for dinner we could make guacamole and tacos. And whip up some frozen margaritas.”

  “That would be fun.”

  “And for dessert, vanilla ice cream. We can add some fresh peaches on top.”

  “Sounds heavenly. By the way, your room is all set up. And here.” I gave her a vase with fresh hydrangeas. “These are for you.”

  “Thanks, I’ll put these and the boxes in my room. I really appreciate you letting me stay here.” Cat gave me a hug. “It’s like a grown-up pajama party.”

  Mr. Phong entered the kitchen and headed over to the covered plate of muffins on the table. Unwrapping the plastic covering, he pulled out two muffins and shoved them into his blazer pocket. He held up a hand and waved as he exited humming.

  I chuckled. “A pajama party with a little singing man.”

  Cat giggled. “Doesn’t that get on your nerves?”

  “What?”

  “The singing. Him taking all the muffins.”

  “He left one this time.”

  “I see that.”

  “I guess he just likes them. So I should take that as a compliment.”

  “If he starts taking your good silver, don’t take that as a compliment.”

  “Cat, he’s not a thief. He’s just hungry.”

  “No kidding. So which side of your family is the cutie from?”

  My voice rose. “Mr. Phong?”

  “No. That dark-haired Spanish-looking guy?”

  “Xavier?”

  “Yes.”

  “He’s a cousin. He’s so far removed from my immediate family it’s like he’s not even a relative.” I hated these white lies. How badly I wanted to tell her the truth, but my pride wouldn’t let me. We Gordons had more dignity than sense sometimes. It was part of our DNA.

  Cat said, “Too bad.”

  “Huh?”

  “I’m just saying that I didn’t see a wedding ring on his hand. And he is very easy on the eyes. Too bad he’s related, or I could see you and him together.” Cat winked.

  Too bad was right for a lot of reasons. I held up my hand, indicating to stop. “You know by now that I have no intention of getting involved with any man, especially a relative.”

  “Speaking of men. Did you know that your ex-fiancé is back in town? I just saw him at our store.”

  It felt as though someone slammed a wrecking ball into my gut. I sensed the color draining from my face.

  Cat arched an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

  I kept my voice steady for fear of it quivering. “Why, of course.”

  “How do you feel about him being back?”

  My breath caught in my chest. I held on to the counter for stability, afraid of falling over. “Fine. Just fine. He still has family here, so I’m not surprised he returned.”

  Cat asked, “Is that so?”

  “Yes, it was always a matter of when and not if he would come back here.”

  Cat said, “You sure seem surprised. Actually you appear a little panicked.”

  I tuned my head away from Cat. I should’ve known better. Of course my dear friend knew me well enough to read me.

  Cat placed a hand on my shoulder. “Do you still love him?”

  “No. Of course not. No feelings for him at all.” I absolutely loathed him for dumping me and disappearing.

  “Oh?”

  I bit my bottom lip. I’d thought about the day I’d see him again. Every scenario had gone through my mind, from slamming the door in his face, to screaming and slapping him. And in my darkest thoughts, I pictured driving my car and seeing him walking nearby as I veered my car in his direction. Of course I could never actually do something like that, but that was how mad as a hornet he made me. Because I couldn’t trust how I’d react, it was best to avoid him. I hoped that our paths would remain separate. Indefinitely.

  I said, “If he ever came marching up to my door begging for me back, I’d just hold my head up high and politely send him on his way.”

  Cat eyed me up and down. “Really? I’m not sure you’d do that.”

  I changed the subject. “Let me help you get your boxes in your room.”

  “I take
that as the end of the conversation. And don’t worry. I can get everything in myself. I’m sure you have enough to do.” Cat grabbed the vase of flowers and left.

  Putting away the rest of the groceries, I inhaled deeply. When was the last time I’d seen Bradley? It had to be the week before we were to wed. He showed up on my porch, looking like a young Robert Redford with his sun-kissed blond hair and sky-blue eyes. His voice silky-smooth. Just thinking about him sent a chill down my spine. I shook it off. The man was trouble. My dad, rest his soul, had never liked him. So it was just as well that we didn’t get married. He’d said that he left because he had reconsidered. Reconsidered? After four years of dating? Hadn’t he had plenty of time to review our relationship in all those years?

  Then the ugly truth had come out after my wedding was cancelled. My beloved father had bribed him to leave. My dad knew that Bradley was just a gold digger, and that was proven when Bradley had taken the money and run. It didn’t matter. The damage was done. The two men I loved most had both betrayed and hurt me. And that made me madder than a wet hen in a tote sack.

  Eventually I forgave my father, but never Bradley.

  Pulling the plug in the sink, I watched the suds swirl down the drain. Round and round the watery bubbles went until the last drop gurgled through. Only the lemon scent remained.

  I wiped my hands on the kitchen towel and threw it in the sink. I slammed an open cupboard shut. Thwack.

  Damned Bradley Dwight Rabren.

  “What did that door ever do to you?” Xavier strolled in, setting down the lease on the counter.

  My face flushed. “Sticky hinge.”

  He opened the cupboard. “You know, a little WD-40 may help.”

  “Good idea.” I turned from the sink and lost my balance. I teetered as I felt myself lean back.

  Xavier caught me from behind. His hands grazed my breasts before he let go. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be inappropriate in any way. I was just trying to prevent you from falling.”

  My heart raced as I stood. “Thanks for catching me.”

  He stepped back and leaned against the counter. Then let out a slight cough. “Glad to be of help.”