by Anne Hampson
‘I do sometimes get tired,’ Rian was saying in answer to Shara’s question. ‘Daddy said yesterday that I ran him off his feet and that I must be tired but I wouldn’t tell him I was.’ A mischievous grin broke as Rian slanted a glance at her father who, putting his teacup to his mouth, frowned at her over it. She only laughed and said she was talking about him. ‘You said I was tired yesterday after all that chasing about on our lawn - but I wasn’t tired!’
Shara frowned, and tilted her head admonishingly. ‘Fibber,’ said Carl sternly. ‘I happened to hear what you said to Auntie Shara just now.’
‘You shouldn’t listen, Daddy. It’s bad manners!’ ‘You talk so loudly that it’s impossible not to hear you.’
‘What a delightful child she is.’ It was Gilbert who passed this remark, some couple of hours later when,
Shara having decided she needed a rest, Colin and Carl were playing ball with Rian. ‘You did an excellent job there, my dear.’
Shara turned her head and smiled at him, noting the nice tan he had acquired, and which accentuated the greyness of his hair and straight bushy eyebrows. A sudden access of affection spread through her, warm and strangely comforting. She was lucky to have Gilbert. Whatever was in store for her - and despite her assertion to Colin that she could not live without Carl she somehow felt that a final goodbye would be inevitable - she would always have Gilbert as her almost constant companion in the lonely years ahead. As she had always maintained, he was her
friend, not her employer.
‘It wasn’t very difficult. Rian’s response was swift once the thaw had really set in.’
Gilbert nodded, transferring his gaze once again to the child running about with the two men.
‘Children are the most adaptable creatures and, at that age, the most obliging, always wanting to please. It is of course a natural desire for attention which makes them so responsive to the clever tactics of the adult. They want to please as I’ve said, and will fall over themselves in order to do it.’
However, Rian was not attempting to please now. The game having stopped, she was arguing with her father about her bedtime.
‘It’s right now, my girl,’ sternly from Carl. ‘We’re going home this minute!’
‘But there’s still ten minutes to go—’
‘By the time you’re ready for bed you’ll have had half an hour extra.’
‘Uncle Gilbert,’ wheedled Rian as she reached the terrace on which Gilbert and Shara were sitting, ‘will you please tell my daddy that you want us to stay a little while longer?’
Everyone laughed; Rian continued to look hopefully at Gilbert, and her lovely eyes brightened as presently he said,
‘I don’t want to interfere with discipline, Carl, but you could put Rian to bed here. After all, what is there to go home for? Surely you’ll have dinner with us?’
A swift glance passed between Carl and Shara, hers pleading and his instantly consenting. They were avidly grasping every single moment.
‘I can sleep without a nightie,’ put in Rian eagerly. ‘I
often do, Daddy, when it’s as hot as this.’
‘Very well—’ Carl glanced down at his clothes, but before he could speak Gilbert said,
‘Let’s make it informal and have drinks and a meze on the patio.’
‘And can I have it as well?’
‘No, Rian, you can’t.’ Carl’s voice held a distinct note of inflexibility which thrilled Shara in some delicious sort of way. Married to him, one would be mastered ... but in a manner so exciting that one would be tempted to ask for more. ‘You can stay up for another half hour and then it’s bed. Any argument will result in your being taken home.’
Naturally there was no further argument and just over half an hour later Rian was being bathed by Shara. Carl entered the bedroom as Rian was getting into bed. His coming to say good night was a good excuse for snatching a few minutes alone with Shara, which he did, outside the bedroom door.
‘My dearest,’ he whispered, his voice low with despair, ‘I love you so. Why didn’t you come to me a few months ago?’
‘If only we’d known!’ She said no more, but gave herself up to his kisses, her loving arms about him, tender and warm and conveying her great need of him. How unnecessary was all this suffering, she thought with rising bitterness. Had Carl been an Englishman or an American the engagement could have been broken without the resulting criticism and stigma of dishonour that would inevitably be the result here. In fact, it would have been considered ridiculous for a man and woman to forfeit their whole happiness in the way in which Carl and Shara were now doing. But this was Cyprus ... and Carl was as good as married. ‘Darling,’ she whispered at last, ‘we’d better be going to the others. They’ll be wondering why we’re being so long.’
He nodded, and drew away, retaining his gentle hold on her arms and looking deeply and yearningly into her eyes.
‘If only Annoula had kept to her side of the bargain,’ he murmured, yet at the same time shook his head in a gesture of excuse for his fiancee. ‘She’s so scared of being alone. Women here are, as you know.’
Hand in hand they went along the corridor and drew apart only at the last moment. Gilbert and his nephew were talking in the lounge, Gilbert telling Colin to expect a round of parties and Colin responding by saying wryly that it seemed he would have very little time to relax.
‘You, Shara,’ Colin said as she and Carl sat down on the couch, ‘do you manage to keep up with this gay social round?’
‘Gilbert and I have a rest when we’re away,’ she explained. ‘We work hard all day but relax in the evening. So we don’t become quite so exhausted as we might. I should imagine it could be terribly wearing to keep it up all the time....’ Her voice trailed away to a disbelieving silence as she stared through the open French doors leading on to the verandah. All heads turned; Carl gave a gasp and with a hasty ‘excuse me’ he strode to the French
doors and through them. The girl was running now that she
saw him and seconds later she had flung herself into his arms and her sobs and frenzied cries could be heard quite clearly by the three people in the lounge.
‘My Nico, he run down by car—’ A sudden lapse into Greek and then, ‘I tried to phone you, but they say you are not in and I don’t believe, so I come to your house. They say you are here - and I think you will not help me with my little son because you go off with this English girl that you love! Carlos, come to the hospital with me because they won’t let me see Nico and I think he is dead!’ Again Annoula flung herself at Carl; his arms went round her again and his soothing words could be heard as he led her gently towards the verandah. Colin and Shara exchanged glances. Gilbert said, his voice as bewildered as his gaze,
‘Shara, do you know what this is all about? Who is this girl?’
‘Her name’s Annoula.’ Low the tone, and quivering. A moment’s uneasy silence as once again Shara and Colin exchanged glances. ‘She’s - she’s Carl’s fiancee...’ She had to clear her throat before adding, white to the lips, ‘They were engaged before my reunion with Carl.’
CHAPTER TEN
‘Shara dear, I’m fully aware of how you’re feeling, and I also know that it’s better for a woman to relieve her pent-up emotions by weeping. My wife used to say this, and I’m very sure she wouldn’t mind in the least if I lent you my shoulder.’
It was the following morning and although Gilbert was unable to work he had deliberately requested that Shara go with him to his study so that he and she could be alone for a little while.
Shara swallowed convulsively as her employer’s gentle words were being uttered.
‘You’re so kind, Gilbert, and I’m not so sure that I shan’t be taking advantage of your offer. It’s true, my emotions are pent up, and perhaps a good cry would be good for me. With a switch of memory the scene came back. She saw Carl’s gentle handling of the hysterical girl, whose terror for her son was dreadful to see. Carl had eventually handed her over to
Shara while he went off -driven by Gilbert who had been told all by Shara in a few briefly whispered words - to pick up his car. He then took Annoula to Nicosia where he discovered that the reason for Annoula’s being kept from her son was the mere fact of his undergoing a minor operation, and that he would be discharged from the hospital in about a week s time. Annoula refused to stay in her own home alone and in desperation Carl brought her back to Gilbert’s villa.
‘Can you possibly have her—?’ Helplessly and with a gesture of apology he spread his hands. ‘It’s impossible for me to have her at my house, as no one knows we’re engaged, so there’d be a great deal of unsavoury gossip.’
‘She must stay here, certainly.’ Gilbert really had had no option, but his glance in Shara’s direction told her that he acceded to Carl’s request only with the utmost reluctance.
‘I’m all right, Gilbert,’ she tried to reassure him later when he broached the matter to her, but she failed in this endeavour owing to the marked signs of strain that had settled on her lovely features. ‘The girl’s welfare is more important than anything else at the present time; she’s on the verge of a breakdown, and for Carl’s sake we must avoid that if we can.’
Colin had been present at this interchange and catching his expression, Shara found herself saying,
‘Is something wrong, Colin?’
‘Wrong?’ Clearly her question surprised him and she realized that he was oblivious of his own changing expression and the heavy frown that settled momentarily on his forehead. But to Shara it was as if some quite preposterous idea had come to him and, consciously or
subconsciously, he had endeavoured to dismiss it. ‘No, Shara, there isn’t anything wrong with me.’
These retrospective musings were interrupted as Gilbert spoke again. He was standing by the window of his study and Shara was by the desk.
‘I’m not working today, my dear, and if you want me to take you somewhere — away from this house and that girl - then don’t hesitate to say so.’
‘My troubles have affected your work,’ she said with regret and apology. ‘I kept it to myself for that reason only - I mean, so that your work wouldn’t suffer. I wanted to tell you,’ she went on, her lovely eyes brooding and dark as they met his. ‘But if you remember you hinted that, should everything not come right for me, then you’d blame yourself for bringing me to the island.’
He nodded.
Yes, I remember; and I’m indeed regretting my decision to write a book on Cyprus—’
‘No, you mustn’t regret anything. Whatever lies ahead for me I have my memories, memories I wouldn’t have had if we’d never come to Cyprus. Besides, Carl and I shall never lose touch again; we’ll write to each other, but - but only as br-brother and s-sister ... ’ The heaviness of suppressed tears behind her eyes was suddenly released, as, putting her head in her hands, she began to sob as if her heart would break.
‘My dear.... Oh, my dear Shara!’ Gilbert’s low compassionate voice was lost on her, but she heard the knock on the door, heard it open and then Colin’s voice, swiftly apologetic.
‘I’m sorry, Uncle - I merely came to ask if I could borrow the car, but - I’m sorry,’ he repeated, and the
door clicked softly on the latch again. Shara did not glance up; she was in her employer’s arms, weeping on his breast, uncaring of her loss of dignity or the fact of her ruining the immaculate condition of his white linen shirt.
‘Let’s go out, my dear.’ Gilbert spoke again when at last Shara had dried her eyes. ‘Perhaps you’d like Colin to come as well, but if not then I’m sure he’ll understand.’ ‘Of course Colin must come.’ With a supreme effort she managed to inflect a lightness into her voice, and even added a thin little smile to it. ‘We can’t leave him, Gilbert. His holiday’s already being spoiled by all this.’
Before setting out Shara went along to Annoula’s room. The girl was sitting by the window looking unhappily on to the garden. Shara asked her in gentle, persuasive tones why she did not leave her room and sit on the terrace or patio.
Annoula shook her head dumbly and turned away again to her contemplation of the view. It was a clear crystal day and the Anatolian Mountains seemed only a short swim away over the turquoise waters of the Mediterranean. Closer to, the lemon trees and olives and carobs moved gently on the soft morning breeze.
‘Annoula dear, there’s no need to be like this. You know very well that your little boy is going to be all right.’ ‘It isn’t my Nico,’ so quietly that Shara only just caught the words.
‘What, then?’
Annoula turned.
‘You hate me, don’t you?’
‘No such thing.’ The clear grey eyes looked frankly into the dark ones as Shara added, ‘No one could hate you, Annoula.’
‘He’s mine!’ cried Annoula fiercely, standing up suddenly and opening the window as if she required air. ‘Why did you come here? Why did you make him fall in love with you?’ Tears welled up; Annoula twisted round as she searched in her pocket for the handkerchief which she must have known was not there. The movement took her out on to the balcony and neither she nor Shara noticed that Colin was sitting below, in a chair which he had placed under the shade of an ancient plane tree. ‘You can take him from me, I know that! But don’t - please don’t - I’ll kill myself and my little son if you do! I’m frightened, Shara — frightened of people and of being all on my own. Carlos knew this and he was kind and asked me to marry him. I was better then - happier and not so frightened...’ The girl stopped to wipe away her tears with the back of her hand. Shara handed her a tissue from her pocket and moved a little closer, out of the room and on to the balcony. ‘We d-don’t love each other, but in Cyprus that doesn’t matter. We very seldom marry for love—’
‘Wouldn’t you like to marry for love, Annoula?’ interrupted Shara softly. ‘You’re young, dear, and have plenty of time to fall in love.’
‘You’re trying to persuade me to give him up — but I won’t!’ Annoula fell into a fit of weeping that racked her whole body and instinctively Shara slipped an arm around her. The girl wept on her breast just as she herself had wept on Gilbert’s so short a while ago. ‘If I was a nice person I’d give him up-’ Annoula leant away at last, sniffing and using her hand again. ‘I would, Shara, believe me, if I weren’t so scared of being on my own. Here in Cyprus a woman is nothing without a man; people look
down on her and she is treated with contempt.’
‘I do understand.’ Shara’s last remnant of hope had died during the Cypriot girl’s disjointed speech. Annoula was too frightened to relent; yes, it was fear alone that was responsible for the girl’s fierce possessiveness ... and fear was so difficult a thing to combat.
‘I w-want to get married right away - just as soon as Carlos can arrange it! I shouldn’t have waited all this time—’
‘Why did you, Annoula?’
‘Because I thought I might fall in love—’ She broke off, flushing hotly as she realized what she had said.
‘And had you fallen in love, then you would have expected Carl to release you. It was because you hoped to fall in love with someone that you insisted on keeping
the engagement a secret, wasn’t it?’
A small but guilty silence ensued. Annoula’s sobs still shook her, but her eyes were now quite dry.
‘I know what you’re thinking, Shara, and you have a right to condemn me, but I didn’t fall in love and I know I never will, because I never meet any young men - you don’t in Cyprus because as you know most marriages are arranged by the parents of the young people. So I’m marrying Carlos - soon!’ Defiance now and an actual stamping of Annoula’s foot. ‘Carlos will marry me, because he’s honourable, and kind, and he’ll not let you take him from me!’ And then, quite inconsistently, Annoula cried, pressing her two hands against Shara’s chest, ‘Don’t try - I beg of you! Don’t try to take him from me -promise! Promise, I say!’
‘I promise, Annoula,’ returned Shara quietly, and she<
br />
had to add, ‘You needn’t have worried; I never had any intention of trying to influence Carl. He will put honour before happiness, this I know.’
‘Honour, yes!’ Annoula seized on the word. ‘He is pledged to me — pledged, do you hear! This in Cyprus is so important that no man can break his pledge—’ ‘Annoula,’ cut in Shara with a slight tinge of impatience to her voice, ‘let’s drop the subject. And now that you are feeling a little less despondent there’s no reason why you shouldn’t go outside and sit in the garden.’
Annoula hesitated, then nodded.
‘Will you be there?’ she asked with a sudden eagerness. How very young she was, thought Shara - and how perfectly enchanting she could prove to be to a man who fell in love with her. Perhaps Carl would ... eventually. ...
Swallowing a hard lump in her throat, Shara turned into the bedroom. So great was the love existing between Carl and herself that it seemed impossible that he could ever love another woman, but he would be living with Annoula, sharing meals and leisure, swimming, romping
with the children....
‘No, Annoula, I shan’t be there. My employer and I are going out in the car.’
‘So I’ll be alone?’