by M, Jessie
“Did you have a happy childhood?”
“Not to start with, no I didn't.”
“Why not?”
“It's not a pretty tale.”
“Tell me... please?”
“My mother was 16 when she had me. She left Vermont and took me to California when I was still a baby and from what I can gather from my grandparents and from very hazy memories of it when I was a little older, she basically lived a wild life. I was left with a lot of strangers, dumped with whoever would have me for days on end. We lived in some sleazy places and cheap rooms. Thankfully I can't remember too much. I was taken into foster care on and off until my grandparents rescued me for good when I was six... She couldn't look after me anymore because she was an alcoholic by then. They finally took us both back home, but she kept leaving.”
“Oh Alex, no...”
“Mmmm, it was such a shame. She had a good start in life but threw it away.”
“Where is she now?”
“She died when she was 36. Cirrhosis of the liver.”
“I'm so sorry.”
“I didn't really know her that well, she wasn't around much and when she was she was very distant. She was in and out of rehab and disappeared for months on end in between.”
“Did you get on with your grandparents?”
“Oh yeah, we got along fine, we still do. They did their best for me. They're good folks. But it destroyed them really. She was their pride and joy, their only child. I always felt like I wasn't a good enough substitute. But I made sure I made them proud of me. I wasn't about to ruin my chances in life like she did. God knows why she did it. She was intelligent and pretty. Why she ran off the rails like that is anyone's guess.”
“The sad fact is, only she will ever know that, won't she?”
I am shocked at the tale of Alex's early days. It's so sad to have something like that happen to your own mother. I give him a hug and a kiss and pop another chocolate in his mouth. I'm beginning to get him. His serious attitude and his neat well ordered life. His determination and focus to do well in everything. It's as if he's making up for his mother's lack of it all.
I'm really into our torch lit conversation. It's intriguing and interesting, albeit rather sad.
“What about you, how was your start in life? I guess it was better than mine,” He asks me.
“Well, I don't want to rub salt in your wounds, but I had a wonderful childhood. I grew up in Kent, in the same town I'm still living in, Hempstead. My dad's a solicitor, my mum an accountant. They're lovely, and of course Toni and I are very close, being only eighteen months apart in age. We always liked doing the same types of things, from a young age, and even did the same Business Administration diploma at college. We used to do everything together.”
“I suppose you must miss her a lot?”
“I pined for weeks when she got married and moved over here.”
“They're a great couple. Bren and Toni. Very affectionate with each other.”
“Yeah, a proper pair of lovebirds. It's quite embarrassing at times.”
“Cute though.”
I bravely ask him about Mariel.
“I noticed you were a little friendly with the barmaid at 1950. Is she one of your ex girlfriends?”
“Not really.”
“What does that mean?”
“We got together one night after a party about two years ago. We hook up now and then when we're both at a loose end. It's not any kind of real relationship.”
“Maybe it could be some day?”
“No, I'd have asked her out by now if I was really interested. She knows the score.” Poor Mariel. I'm not sure she does know the score. It seems she's waiting in vain. I'll let Toni know about this later. Maybe she can save her wasting any more time on him.
“And who was the latest girlfriend, can I ask? The one you were seeing until yesterday.”
“Ellie. She's cabin crew for Virgin.”
“How long were you seeing her?”
“Ten weeks, when she was in town.”
“But not for you either?”
“No Lex. Not after I'd met you.”
“But we're just short term. You shouldn't have dumped her. She needn't have known.” I feel guilty about her.
“If I felt I wanted to be with you, even short term, then I can't have wanted her, can I? Look enough about me... what about your list of boyfriends. Tell me about those. The one's that couldn't handle Miss Hot Stuff.”
“It wasn't like that.”
“What was it like then?”
“I don't know. My boyfriends all give up on me after a month or two. Toni seems to think they find me overwhelming in some way, too independent, too much me, you know... Or maybe it's something else and I've got it all wrong and I'm just hard going somehow. I'd love to find someone who likes me as I am and stays faithful longer term, but I'm losing hope to be honest.” I'm finding it very easy to off load this with him. He's the first man I've ever been able to open my heart to about this part of myself. It's a good feeling that we're progressing from bed mates to close friends. And I feel I understand him so much better now.
“Lex, you're perfect as you are. There's nothing wrong with being independent, in fact I look for that quality in a woman. And your singing is sex to my ears. I'd hang on to you forever.”
“Awww, you're such a sweetheart. Come here and let me kiss you all over in a mad frenzy.”
“Is that the end of our deep and meaningful chat then?”
“Yep. I need to get warmed up, this towel is damp and cold. I need some action.”
“Want to go back to mine to warm up in comfort for a few hours?”
“Get dressed and pack up your glowsticks quick, let's go...”
Chapter 4
I awake the next morning at eleven after being dropped off at 5am. I make my way downstairs for a drink. I see Brendan and Toni in a hug in the middle of the living room through the gap in the door. I stand and watch for a moment filled with happiness for them. He is stroking her hair. It takes a second or two for me to realise that she’s crying. I hear her little hiccupping noises and a big snuffle. I quickly sneak away but not before she spots me through the door. I put the kettle on for some tea. I make her one and put the coffee machine on for Brendan. The kitchen door opens and she walks in, grabbing a tissue.
“What’s happened?” I ask in a concerned voice, giving her a hug.
“My usual monthly event.” My mind quickly works it out.
“Oh. I see. How long have you been trying?”
“Fourteen months. It’s doing my head in Lex. I spend half the month with my nerves in tatters.”
“Don’t try so hard Toni. Just leave things to happen naturally.”
“That’s easier said than done. We’re dying for a baby. It’s becoming an obsession for the both of us.”
“I don’t know what to say, to help.”
“There’s nothing anyone can say. We have to give it another ten months before we can see anyone about it.”
“That’s plenty of time for it to happen.”
She brightens a little and tries to smile.
“I know. I try not to dwell on it, but this time of the month always hits me hard.” She picks up her tea and sips at it.
“I understand, really I do.”
“Anyway, what we’re you up to last night, I heard you go out really late. Sneaking off with Mr Jackson again we’re you?”
“He took me for a midnight love fest on the beach up the coast.”
“He did?”
“Mmmm. It was fabulous. The beach, the sea, music, a glass of wine and chocolates.”
“Now I am jealous... The wine and chocolates I mean...”
I mock thump her arm.
“So when did you get in?”
“It was after five. We had some hot and spicy dessert at his place, and after that we sat talking until dawn.”
“What a pair you are. Really!” She grins a big happy grin. I’m pleas
ed I’ve cheered her up with our sexual antics.
“Want to do anything today?” I ask her. I’m not sure she’s in the mood for much, in her monthly misery.
“Let’s all go to the zoo.”
“D’you really fancy that? ‘Cos I’m not sure I do.”
“Yeah. San Diego Zoo is great. You’ll love it.”
“You know I don’t like to see animals caged up.”
“It’s all done very carefully and thoughtfully. Come on.”
“All right then. But I want to chat to Kelly for five minutes first.”
I go upstairs and call her.
“How’s Picasso of Hempstead doing?”
“Good... What about you? Getting lots of sun, fun and hot pilot flings?”
“I am. Especially the latter.”
“I’m all ears. Tell me.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“You must have had a lot of action then?”
“It’s been like nothing on this earth. It’s a holiday fling to remember forever Kel.”
“It sounds real steamy.”
“Hotter than that.”
“The mind boggles! How can it get hotter than steamy?”
“He has a way of doing things. I can’t describe it. Let’s just say we’ve gelled very well in between the sheets.”
“Well enjoy it while it lasts, you deserve some fun. I’ve been having a lot of excitement in my love life as well.”
“Really?”
“Someone I bumped into in the art store a couple of weeks ago, James. He’s another artist from my Uni days. We never got together because he was seeing someone then. Anyway, he stayed overnight a couple of times this week. We’ve been painting together.”
“Kel! I don’t believe it. You never see the same guy twice.”
“I know. But he’s got right under my skin somehow. He could move in tomorrow, I feel that into him. I might even suggest it if things go well.”
“Awww. I’m all overcome with happiness for you.”
“I’m not counting my chickens just yet... Time will tell. Oh, your painting’s done, by the way. I need to retouch it a little, but basically it’s finished.”
“Thanks so much. Really. It means a lot.”
“It was a pleasure to do it. James loves it. He thinks it’s symbolic of a simultaneous orgasm. An erotic shared experience.”
“My God... I can’t wait to see it, really! Look, I’m going to have to go now, I’m off to the zoo.”
“Ugghh... Horrid smelly cruel places.”
“I know, but Toni insists I’ll like it. I’ll call you next week. Okay?”
“Yeah, bye then Alex.”
We finally set off for the zoo a few minutes later. I’m almost impressed as we start to wander around. It’s not too bad as far as zoos go, I still don’t like the concept of a zoo, but I appreciate that with some species, the few animals breeding in captivity are all there are of the population left in the world.
We stand looking at the seals for a while licking an enormous ice-cream.
I get a call from Alex.
“Want to do something fun this afternoon?”
“I’m at the zoo eating ice-cream and watching the seals.”
“Ah, how lovely. Tomorrow?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Having a tattoo.”
“No. I hate them.” I surprised he is suggesting this as he hasn’t got a single tattoo on his body.
“Just a small “Alex” for me and you.”
“It’s rather egotistical having your own name tattooed on your body.”
“It’s not my name. You’d have mine. I’d have yours.”
“Ha ha, very amusing... I don’t know. Maybe.”
“I’ll pick you up at ten tomorrow.”
“I said maybe....”
“Kiss you there.”
“Kiss you back.”
“’Bye beautiful.”
I’m giggling like an idiot as I finish my call and Toni tut-tuts at my stupid expression.
“No need to ask who that was.”
“We’re going out tomorrow morning.”
“Where to?”
“Don’t laugh. To get a tattoo done.”
“You are not!” Toni knows I hate them. I know she’s got a couple.
“We are.” Suddenly I’m looking forward to it, in an odd kind of way.
“Well I’d never have believed it!”
* * *
We sit at the table eating dinner, which I have cooked. It’s my special ‘chuck it all in’ recipe. Chicken, veg, pasta, chillies, cheese sauce and basil baked in the oven and served with salad. We open a bottle of the wine I brought from home.
“We can ask Alex ‘round for dinner one evening if you like,” Brendan suggests. “He’s been here before.” Toni elbows him. I guess that means he wasn’t alone. Strangely, the thought of that actually bothers me, which is ridiculous, considering.
“If you like. I’m happy one way or the other. Next weekend maybe.”
“Guess what? They’re both getting tattoos done tomorrow, Bren,” Toni announces smirking at me.
Brendan has two on his arms that I can see already, one peeking out of his sleeve and one up his inner forearm. They’re not too bad as far as tattoos go.
“Oh yeah?” He lifts the back of his T-shirt up and turns to flash his large eagle tattoo at me.”
“Very nice,” I say unenthusiastically.
“What are you having done?”
“Our names. Both of us are.”
“That’s cool.”
“It’ll probably be somewhere very well hidden so don’t ask me to show you, okay?”
“What’s the point of that? Toni has hers tucked away on her ass. Show it off, I say!”
“I’m a bit nervous. Does it hurt?”
“Only to start with. You get used to it after a while. The pain receptors numb out eventually.”
“Lovely. Maybe I’ll have a teeny tiny one then.” We all have a laugh at that. I’m rather a wimp as far as pain goes.
Alex picks me up at 10am as planned. I run out to the car and hop in and gasp in lust as I see his closely cropped hair. I rub my hands all over the fine silky surface of his head in a frenzy.
“Like it?”
“I love it. It’s gorgeous...” I rub some more and drop a hot kiss on his cheek.
“I finally got around to it after coming back from leave. Major O’Connell had a few choice words with me in the mess yesterday.” We both have a quick laugh about Alex being ticked off by his superior about his one inch long hair.
After our hot hello we set off for our spot of painful tattooing. I’m really nervous once we’re inside The Tat Den, recommended by Brendan and Toni. I can hear the buzzing noise of the action taking place in the back room. I am actually starting to feel a touch sick.
“I’m going off the idea,” I mumble.
“No you’re not. I’ll hold your hand for you. You’ll be fine.”
“Where are you thinking of having yours?” I really haven’t a clue about what I want.
“Well I have an idea... We should both have them across the hip, on opposite sides so that they touch when we face each other. Alex to Alex.” Oh boy is he scoring high on my sexy and romantic scale.
“You have a really sweet side, don’t you?”
“Oh yeah, I can put Prince William to shame when I get going.”
Five minutes later the previous customer has paid and left and I’m up first. I’m ready for my torture. I’ve chosen a black rose with a sizeable “Alex” woven around and across the stem. I grit my teeth and hold Alex’s hand nice and tight. After a while I realise it’s not that bad. I can actually stop gritting my teeth and just wince every now and then. It doesn’t take that long and it’s done. I look at it admiringly in the mirror. It’s rather pretty. My skin is very tender, pink, and raised but apparently that goes down quite fast.
Alex is up and ready for his, and ha
ving exactly the same one.
“Don’t you want a snake or a skull or something more masculine?” I’m surprised he wants a flower.
“No, I like yours.” We have a quick kiss before he hops up on the bench. I stand and watch hypnotised by the tattooist at work.
I must confess I love his girly tattoo. It looks even better on his lean, muscled hip than it does on my curvier female one. It’s all I can do not to kiss it.
Once we are done, we go off for lunch together nearby, for a large salad, which we share. We sit munching away enthusiastically as Alex lays out his plans for the next day.
“I’d like to take you out somewhere special for dinner tomorrow. And, as I have the urge to smarten up now and then out of uniform, I’ll be wearing a suit. Do you have a more formal dress?”
“I have brought one, yes...” A hot short black number of course.
“Tomorrow at 7pm, okay? I’m off base on Monday, so you can stay with me all night and the next day, if you want to.”
“That’ll be lovely. I’m really looking forward to it.” Seeing him all smartened up in a real suit is a big part of that. It’s bound to take my lust to new heights.
“I’ve got to go in at 5pm this evening for a Squadron Command meeting, but in the meantime, shall we go home and lie down? We can recover together after the tattoo trauma.”
“I’d lie down with you anytime, I don’t need an excuse.”
“We can cool our tattoos with a glass of something on the rocks while we watch a movie in bed. Have you seen American Beauty?”
“Yes, I adore that film.”
“I’d love to cover you with rose petals.”
“Feel free to do it lover boy.”
Actually, we see very little of the erotic movie playing in front of our eyes. We’re far too busy admiring each other’s tattoos, talking, which is fast becoming our second favourite pastime, and doing some other more physical things.
* * *
I wake up on Sunday morning and go downstairs. It’s early, only 7am. I don’t suppose Toni will be up for a while. She likes her lush Sunday lie-ins. I pick up my favourite black and white animal companion and pet him enthusiastically for a while, talking to him in the usual silly cat-talk way people do. Then I make myself some tea and toast. I notice out of the corner of my eye there’s a pink envelope on the doormat. I go into the hallway and pick it up, thinking it’s a birthday card for Toni. I look at the name and I’m surprised to see it’s for me. I glow inside with the fact that Alex has dropped me off a card. I take it upstairs to read it in bed.