The Life She Was Given

by Ellen Marie Wiseman

  The bald man pointed at JoJo with his cane. “We’ll take the young one,” he said.

  Lilly went rigid. No. Not JoJo. It will break Pepper’s heart!

  “Sold,” Mr. Barlow said. “You’ve made a fine choice, gentlemen. He’s one of the smartest bulls we’ve ever had.”

  “That’s not true,” Lilly said in a loud voice. “He’s been in the parade, but he’s as dumb as they come. We can’t teach him anything.”

  Mr. Barlow glared at her and Cole gave her a stern look.

  “And you are?” the man with the walrus mustache asked Lilly.

  “I work with these elephants,” she said. “I’m sure you’ve heard of The Albino Princess and her Albino Elephant?”

  The bald man knitted his brow and regarded Mr. Barlow. “You better not be trying to pull a fast one on us,” he said.

  “Of course not,” Mr. Barlow said. “And to prove I’m an honest businessman, if this bull turns out to be a dud, I’ll take him back and give you two others to replace him.”

  The bald man smiled and shook Mr. Barlow’s hand. “It’s a deal.”

  “You’re making a mistake,” Lilly said, trying to keep her voice even. “JoJo won’t mind anyone but me and my husband. And even then, he’s the most stubborn bull I’ve ever seen.”

  “Don’t listen to her,” Mr. Barlow said. “She’s just a bleeding heart who’s too attached to the stock. She’d make a fuss no matter who I sold.” He motioned his strongmen to move her away from him.

  The strongmen grabbed Lilly, dragged her over with the rest of the spectators, and held her there. She struggled to get free, tears blurring her vision. “You can’t take JoJo away from his mother!” she shouted. “You just can’t!”

  The man with the walrus mustache ordered his handlers to take JoJo and load him on their train, and the bald man counted out a stack of bills into Mr. Barlow’s hand, his silver-tipped cane held beneath his arm. One of the Rowe & Company handlers took JoJo’s front leg chain from Cole, yanking on it to get him moving. When JoJo refused, another man jabbed a bull hook into his shoulder.

  “Hey!” Cole shouted. “There’s no need for that!”

  The man ignored him and jabbed JoJo harder. JoJo curled his trunk and bellowed in pain, then started walking. Following the handlers along the train in fits and starts, he stopped every few steps and glanced back at his mother. Every time he came to a halt, the handler jabbed him in the shoulder to get him moving again. Mr. Barlow, Merrick, the sheriff, and the railroad officials followed, talking and oblivious to the drama that was unfolding.

  Breathing hard, Lilly pushed her elbows into her sides, the world a blur through her tears. It was all she could do not to scream. There was no way to stop what was happening. Pepper trumpeted and called out to her son, lifting her front feet one at a time and getting more and more agitated. Cole talked to her and rubbed her legs and shoulders, trying to get her to calm down, but it was no use. Pepper knew her baby was being taken away. When the handlers steered JoJo around the caboose and out of sight, Pepper broke free and charged forward, ripping her leg chain from Cole’s hands. Cole raced after her, but Pepper was running at full bore, a cloud of dust rising at her heels. It seemed like the entire earth quaked beneath her massive feet. The strongmen let Lilly go and she and the other Barlow Brothers’ handlers gave chase.

  By the time Lilly and the handlers reached the other side of the caboose, the Rowe & Company men were already trying to load JoJo on their train, shouting and cussing and jabbing him with bull hooks to move him up the ramp. Mr. Barlow, Merrick, the sheriff, and the railroad officials stood nearby and watched, indifferent. Pepper stampeded toward the train with her trunk held high, moving faster than Lilly thought possible. Cole couldn’t keep up. A collective gasp erupted from the townies gathered near the tracks and they moved back, eyes wide. JoJo stopped halfway up the ramp, looked back at his mother, and trumpeted loudly. When Merrick saw Pepper running toward them, he took a cattle prod from one of the handlers and pushed it into JoJo’s back leg. JoJo bellowed in pain and moved up the ramp.

  Merrick made a move to hit JoJo with the cattle prod again, but before he could, Pepper reached him and knocked him to the ground with her trunk. A woman screamed and someone shouted for everyone to run. The Rowe & Company handlers kept their eyes on Pepper but continued to force JoJo into the boxcar, striking him faster and harder with every panicked blow. Pepper roared and sideswiped the handlers off the ramp, her trunk swinging like a baseball bat. The men fell in the dirt, scrambled to their feet, and moved away.

  “Pepper, no!” Lilly shouted, still running toward her.

  Cole stopped and grabbed her by the arm. “There’s nothing you can do.”

  Lilly watched helplessly beside Cole, one trembling hand over her mouth. Please, Pepper. Don’t hurt them. They don’t understand.

  One of the Rowe & Company handlers picked up a bull hook, wielded it like a sword, and moved toward Pepper. She growled and charged at him, then stopped, her head held high as if daring him to come closer. He dropped the bull hook and retreated, his face suddenly drained of color. Pepper turned away, gently guided JoJo down the ramp with her trunk, and stepped backward to give him room to turn around.

  Behind Pepper, Merrick got off the ground, picked up a bull hook with both hands, and swung it at her back leg, puncturing her thigh. He yanked it out and her skin ripped open. Pepper’s head jerked up and she bellowed in pain. Merrick hammered the bull hook into her hide again and again and again, until blood gushed from the wounds and ran down her leg. Pepper spun around and swatted him to the ground with her trunk. He landed on his side and lay there crumpled and moaning, then turned over on his back. Pepper lowered her head and charged him. Merrick’s eyes went wide with terror and he crawled backward in the dirt, trying to get away. Pepper reached him before he could get up and whacked him sideways with one foot. He rolled away in the dust and she followed, batting him back and forth with her front feet, her leg chain swinging through the air like a whip. Merrick screamed and begged for help, lifting his arms to protect himself, the wet crack of his breaking bones like snapping sticks. The townies recoiled in horror and scrambled away. Women shrieked, and the Rowe & Company handlers ran for safety.

  “Pepper, stop!” Lilly cried. She started toward her again, but Cole held her back. “Let me go! I have to stop her! She’ll listen to me!”

  “You don’t know that,” Cole said. “There no telling what she’ll do right now, even to you. Not when she’s protecting JoJo.”

  “Pepper, please!” she shouted. “Don’t!” She gave in and sank to her knees, her gorge rising in her throat. Cole was right, there was no stopping Pepper now. It was a mother’s instinct to protect her young no matter what it took, and Lilly would have done the same thing if someone tried to take Phoebe. But Pepper was an animal, and she would be punished.

  A few seconds later, Merrick stopped screaming. Blood covered one side of his face, and his head, arms, and legs flopped around like a rag doll. Pepper continued to bat him back and forth with her feet and trunk, tossing him around like a cat playing with a dead mouse. Gasps of horror rose from the crowd and a woman fainted. Cole knelt beside Lilly and she buried her face in his shoulder. She couldn’t watch. Not because of what was happening to Merrick, but because she knew what Mr. Barlow and the others would do to Pepper for acting like a mother and an elephant.

  Then a shot rang out and Lilly looked up. The sheriff was pointing a rifle at Pepper. Pepper took a step backward, away from Merrick, blood running from her shoulder. The sheriff fired three more times and bullets hit Pepper in the back and thigh. Pepper lifted her head and roared in agony, then turned, stumbled, and listed slightly to one side. The handlers slowly moved toward her with bull hooks and cattle prods, arms out, ready to run if she turned on them. Merrick lay still as a stone on the ground, his arms and legs twisted at odd angles, his head surrounded by a growing puddle of blood.

  Lilly got to her feet and raced toward
Pepper. “Stay away from her!” she shouted. The handlers stopped and watched with wary eyes. When she got closer to Pepper, Lilly slowed and put out a hand. “It’s all right. Calm down, girl, you’re okay.”

  Pepper’s sad, amber eyes sought Lilly’s, her impossibly long lashes splattered with droplets of blood. She sighed, a low rattling sound that was more of a moan, reached for Lilly’s hand with her trunk, and pulled her closer. Lilly choked back a sob and leaned against Pepper, unable to speak around the burning lump in her throat. With a grave look on his face, Cole came over and picked up Pepper’s leg chain. Behind her, the Rowe & Company handlers quickly prodded JoJo back up the ramp and into the boxcar, jabbing the cattle prod into his neck every time he tried to glance back at his mother.

  “Chain that goddamned bull down!” Mr. Barlow ordered his handlers.

  “Kill it!” one of the townies shouted.

  “Kill it!” someone else yelled. “Kill the elephant!”

  Other voices joined in, “Kill the elephant! Kill the elephant!”

  Lilly shook her head, the world a blur though her tears. No, no, no, her mind screamed. This can’t be happening. It just can’t. She took a few steps away from Pepper, toward the Barlow Brothers’ train. “Come,” she managed. Pepper stood rooted to the ground, head hanging. “Please, Pepper. You’ve got to follow me.”

  Cole gave her leg chain a gentle tug. “Come on, girl,” he said. “It’s time to go.”

  The sheriff approached with his rifle, his finger on the trigger, ready to shoot again. Mr. Barlow followed, his sweat-covered face pale, motioning his handlers forward. The walrus-mustached man from Rowe & Company drew a pistol from the waist of his suit and moved toward Pepper, his mouth hard. Lilly turned toward them and held out her arms.

  “Please,” she said, choking back tears. “Don’t shoot her. She was just trying to protect her baby. You can’t punish a mother for acting like a mother, or an animal for acting like an animal.”

  Cole moved between Lilly and the men. “Let us take her back to the train,” he said. “She’s not going to hurt anyone else.”

  “The hell she won’t,” the sheriff said.

  “Listen,” Cole said. “I’ve worked with this bull my entire life. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”

  “She’s got the taste a’ blood now,” one of the railroad officials said. “She’s a murderer.”

  “That’s right,” the sheriff said.

  Just then, Viktor stormed around the caboose of the Barlow Brothers’ train. The townies gasped and looked at one another with confusion and fear. Some moved farther away. Viktor hurried over to Merrick’s lifeless body and dropped to his knees, his giant shoulders slumped. He put a hand on Merrick’s neck to feel for a pulse, listened to his chest, then threw back his head and howled, a low, guttural, awful-sounding cry that tore from his throat. Everyone froze, their mouths and eyes wide with shock. Several women held trembling fingers over their lips and started to cry while others twisted their faces in disgust. The mournful sound pierced Lilly’s soul and she nearly cried out too, devastated for JoJo and Pepper. When it was over, Viktor staggered upright, scooped Merrick’s broken, bloody body into his muscular arms, and trudged back to the Barlow Brothers’ train.

  “What the hell was that?” the sheriff said.

  “Never mind that freak,” the mustached man from Rowe & Company said. “What are we doing about this damn bull?” The men retrained their guns on Pepper.

  “Now listen, boys,” Mr. Barlow said. “You can’t just kill a $20,000 elephant. If this bull needs to be shot, I’ll be the one to do it. If nothing else, she’ll keep my big cats fed for a week.” He jerked his chin at Cole. “Put her back on the train.”

  “Now hold on,” the sheriff said. “That elephant’s gone rogue. You can’t put it back in the circus.”

  “For Christ’s sake, I’m not an idiot,” Mr. Barlow said. “From here on out, that bull will be raising tents and hauling equipment. If she acts up, I’ll put her down. My bull, my problem. Unless whoever finishes her off wants to pay me what she’s worth.”

  Reluctantly, the men lowered their guns.

  Lilly’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Come on, girl,” she said to Pepper. “Let’s go.”

  Cole tugged on Pepper’s leg chain again and, after what seemed like forever, she took a tentative step forward, then another. The sheriff and handlers moved back to give her room, still on high alert. Lilly walked backward beside Cole and urged Pepper to follow them toward the Barlow Brothers’ train. Pepper took half a dozen more steps, then stopped and glanced back at JoJo standing in the open door of the stock car, his legs in chains. Lilly called Pepper’s name, pleading with her to keep moving forward, and after a few long seconds, she did as she was told. The sheriff and the Rowe & Company man followed, guns at the ready. When they reached the Barlow Brothers’ caboose, Pepper stopped and looked back at JoJo again. Tear tracks stained her cheeks. JoJo raised his trunk and bellowed.

  “Shut that bloody door!” the bald man from Rowe & Company shouted. The handlers shoved JoJo backward into the car and pushed the door across its railings, slamming it shut with a final thud. Pepper flattened her ears and hung her head.

  Lilly could barely see though her tears. “Come on, Pepper,” she managed. “Come with me, sweet girl.”

  Pepper moaned, long and low, and trudged on, her wide feet dragging in the dust. Streaks of blood ran down her legs like circus stripes. By the time Cole, Lilly, and Pepper made their way to the other side of the Barlow Brothers’ train, Flossie and Petunia, along with the horses, had been reloaded. Viktor had disappeared with Merrick’s body, and Glory was making her way toward them with Phoebe in her arms, her brow furrowed. When they reached each other, Lilly took Phoebe and hugged Glory hard. Cole stopped to kiss his daughter. Behind them, Pepper stopped too. Lilly’s throat and nose were so swollen from crying she could hardly breathe. She drew away from Glory’s embrace and searched her face.

  “I’m sorry about Merrick,” she managed.

  “Me too,” Cole said.

  “It’s all right,” Glory said. She ran a hand under her nose. “From what I heard, the bastard had it coming.”

  Lilly didn’t know what to say. Glory was right, Merrick had finally paid the ultimate price for being so cruel, but she would never say that out loud. Because even after Glory moved out of Merrick’s car, she still cared about him. Whether it was blind love or gratitude for saving Viktor, Lilly had no idea. But she had to respect Glory’s feelings, no matter how misguided she thought they were.

  “I’m sorry about JoJo,” Glory said. “And Pepper.”

  Lilly nodded, gave her another hug, and they started walking again. Pepper followed, lost in her misery. Lilly clasped Phoebe to her chest and kissed her soft forehead, her endless tears falling on her daughter’s blond curls. Phoebe peeked over Lilly’s shoulder and pointed at Pepper with a drool-covered finger.

  “Pepa!” she said in a high, excited voice. She giggled and gazed at Lilly with bright, happy eyes.

  Lilly tried to smile. “That’s right, baby girl. That’s Pepper.”

  “Why don’t you take Phoebe back to our car,” Cole said. “I can load Pepper.”

  Glory held out her arms. “Here,” she said to Lilly. “I’ll take her. You go with Pepper. She needs you.”

  “Are you sure?” Lilly said.

  “Of course,” Glory said. “Take as long as you need. Our little princess will be fine.”

  Lilly kissed Phoebe again and handed her to Glory. “Thank you.”

  “No problem,” Glory said. She hugged Lilly again, then took Phoebe back to her car.

  The rest of the Barlow Brothers’ performers and workers gathered along the tracks to watch Pepper return. Dolly the World’s Most Beautiful Fat Woman wept uncontrollably while Ruby and Rosy patted her wide shoulders, tears running down their rouged faces. The Flying Zoppe Brothers stood with the Bally girls and Mrs. Benini, all with somber faces. With a qui
vering chin, Natasha the trapeze artist held tight to Chloe the tightrope walker’s hand. Aldo the Alligator Man wiped Dina the Living Half Girl’s cheeks, and the midgets, Penelope and Pierre, had their arms around each other. There wasn’t a dry eye in the lineup.

  When Lilly and Cole loaded Pepper onto the train, Flossie and Petunia reached out to her with their trunks, swaying and making low, moaning noises. Pepper stopped briefly in front of JoJo’s empty spot, her ears and trunk drooping, then made her way into her own. She went down on her knees in the straw and lay on her side, her eyes wet, her face streaked with tears. Cole fastened her leg chain to the wall and Lilly sat beside her, caressing her wrinkled cheek. Hank came into the stock car and knelt down to examine Pepper.

  “Is she going to be all right?” Lilly said.

  “I think so,” Hank said. “If the bullets had hit anything vital, she’d be down by now.”

  Lilly got to her feet and kissed Pepper’s forehead. “I’ll be right back,” she whispered. “Just hold on, girl.”

  She went with Cole over to the open stock car door. Everyone looked up at them expectantly.

  “She’s restrained,” Cole said to Mr. Barlow and the sheriff.

  “Good,” the sheriff said. “Now you’d best pack up and leave. We don’t need no murderin’ elephant around these parts.”

  “Now hold on,” Mr. Barlow said. “This is an important stop for us and we’re scheduled for three shows. We’re just picking up after nearly losing everything in a tornado, and on top of that, I lost my long-time business partner and the owner of the sideshow.” He lowered his head and pinched the bridge of his nose as if struggling to hold himself together. After a long moment, he took a deep breath, sighed long and loud, and looked up. “If we don’t do tomorrow’s show, it could mean ruin. You’re not going to kick a hardworking man when he’s down, are you?” He clapped the sheriff on the shoulder. “These are hard times, my friend.”

  “You’re right, these are hard times,” the sheriff said. “And I was hired to keep the people in this county safe. I’m not going to lose my job over a damn elephant.”