by Danae Ayusso
Their eyes instantly went to my nearly sheer slip-dress.
Not the smartest thing to complain about at the moment.
“My eyes are up here!” I snapped at them, but they continued to stare at my chest I was covering with my arms. “Anyway, coincidentally, in said cemetery statues were winking and laughing at me. Apparently your precious baby brother has rabies or something and I’ve contracted it thanks to his bite-me-go-happy butt. So no, Mr. Tall, Dark and Miserable, dying wouldn’t be the worst part of my epically awesome nightmarish night.”
Luka snorted. “You heard her, have at it,” he said, waving towards me.
Andrei moved in an impressively fast movement that startled me.
But what surprised me most of all was that I wasn’t his intended target, Luka was.
The annoying man was lifted off of his feet by the neck and was slammed against the stone archway next to the doorway where I was floating.
“This is solely your problem, брат,” he hissed in Luka’s face. “Thus you will deal with it accordingly.”
“You left early,” Luka tried to explain, but I wasn’t sure why that would have mattered. “The eyes-” he choked, but Andrei wasn’t hearing it and pressed his thumb into his brother’s trachea, silencing him.
“Keep in mind, if the others find out that you have a scion, you will be the one to answer for it, not me. I am done cleaning up your messes. Do I make myself clear?” he snarled.
“Yes,” Luka choked and collapsed to the base of the archway when Andrei released him.
“Take care of it,” Andrei warned, “or I will take care of you.”
Luka quickly nodded, rubbing his throat, and Andrei hurried up the stairs, a door slamming shut behind him causing me to shriek.
That was impressive and kind of cool.
I chuckled. “Your big brother just kicked your butt,” I sang; maturity at its finest.
“Shut up,” Luka hissed, dusting himself off. “You should have died,” he coldly informed me.
“Yes, many times over,” I agreed.
“Well then, let’s not make the same mistake twice,” he said before his fist slammed into my face and everything went black.
The lazy jerk punched me in the face!
And they say that chivalry is dead.
Ha! If he didn’t kill me I was going to return the favor and then some. His balls would be getting a second, third, and possibly fourth date with my foot.
Ugh!
Had I mentioned how much I hated men?
When I woke, I was cold, alone, bleeding, and on a hard, unforgiving stone floor.
In the distance, the annoying dripping of water assaulted my eardrums; as if I didn’t get enough of that in the grave. Each drop mockingly echoed all around me as if I were in a cave.
I tried to see where the lazy jerk threw me this time, but my eyes couldn’t focus on anything; I’m pretty dang sure that I had a concussion. My body was numb but on fire at the same time. When I struggled to sit up is when I realized that heavy, iron manacles were around my wrists, tethering me to the floor by thick chains.
Now I was freaking out.
Killing me was one thing, and strangely I was okay with that.
Burying me, yeah, it sucked, but it was another of those I’m strangely okay with things I’ve come to expect in my luckless life.
Being bitten, that one was a first, but I’ve had worse.
Possibly being turned into a vampire…
I wasn’t even going to comment on the ridiculousness of that one!
But being kept alive, chained up in some dungeon?!?!
That was a whole higher level of not going to happen.
“Hey!” I called out, my voice cracking and unbelievably horse. “Let me out of here!”
Never had my throat felt so raw before. It honestly felt as if I hadn’t had anything to drink in a hundred years, and the more I called out, the more my abused, parched throat bled and burned.
“I know you’re out there!” I yelled even though I was totally pulling that out of my butt.
Yeah, I was going to die alone.
“Would you shut up already? I’m trying to think!” Luka yelled, startling me.
I shook my head, trying to clear it. “Go throw yourself on a stake!” I spat.
He snorted. “That’s original.”
“You can use the one that’s up your brother’s butt!” I offered.
“Okay, that one’s a first,” he admitted. “But the prevailing opinion is Andrei permanently has a stick up his ass. If you knew him, you’d agree.”
That wasn’t the point and he knew it, but as you’ll quickly learn, Luka has the attention span of an A.D.H.D. ridden flea.
“Why haven’t you killed me yet? Afraid you’ll ruin your manicure?” I venomously asked, irritated he was turning me into a petulant child, and he growled in frustration. “You know what’s funny?” I rhetorically asked, slumping back down to the floor, abandoning trying to right myself or see anything through the haze of brain damage veiling my vision.
“This whole goddamn situation?” he dryly offered.
I smirked. “Well, yes, there is that. But specifically what I was going to say is it took twenty-three years, being attacked, bitten, buried, kidnapped, held prisoner, possibly turned into one of the living undead, and, for all intents and purposes, killed, for me to finally say the venomous comments that I’ve always kept inside my head. To say all of the things that I never had the nerve to actually say out loud. So I guess I should be thanking you, Luka… I’m not thanking you in the least, but if the attacked, bitten, buried, kidnapped, held prisoner, turning into a vampire and killing Shawn thing didn’t apply to the current situation, I’d probably thank you for inadvertently helping me find my venomous voice and Italian backbone for the first time in my life.”
Yup, I totally had brain damage. I assure you, never again would I say that I owed Luka a thank you.
The sound of metal grating against metal made me shiver, it was like nails down a chalkboard, and it was followed by the cell door opening. Luka walked in with a glass and metal lantern that looked as old as the church in hand, the single candle inside danced wildly with each step he took until he folded himself down to the ground next to me, setting the antique down. I scrambled away from him, as far at the heavy iron chains would allow me to go, but he was completely oblivious to me; he usually was. He rested his face in his hands, his bottom lip pouting outward as his muddy brown eyes moved over my face as if he was looking for something.
“You are making this exceptionally difficult,” Luka eventually informed me. “It shouldn’t be this difficult.”
I snorted. “Oh I’m sorry. I was unaware that I was supposed to be helping you so you can consciencelessly kill me.”
He cocked an eyebrow, appearing slightly amused. “Consciencelessly is not a word.”
“It’s an adverb,” I informed him.
Softly he growled, his pale rose tinted lips pulling upward into a snarl, his white teeth and fangs seemingly glowing in the scarce light. “I’m not going to argue semantics with you!” he snapped at me.
It wasn’t mature by any means, but since this whole ordeal started I’ve yet to do anything mature, I laughed at him.
“No, I suppose you don’t. Because you’ll get schooled by this high school dropout,” I smugly informed him.
Again, the look of slightly amused irritation washed across his face.
“Why haven’t you killed me yet?” I asked; honestly, I was tired of the waiting game.
Waiting was a million times worse than the end!
Luka made a face. “Because you are making it exceptionally difficult,” he mumbled, his brows pulling together. “It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. He should have just done it! It was presented on a plate for him! And he completely turned away from it. So annoying,” he grumbled under his breath.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one with brain damage after all.
“Pray te
ll, Jerk Face,” I said, “how is the woman with a concussion and possible brain damage from your second degree assault, and who is currently shackled to the floor, making it difficult for you… A vampire? Inquiring minds need to know.”
Sarcasm and condescension at no additional charge.
The corners of his mouth twitched.
“That right there,” he said, picking up the lantern and held it out towards me more and I shied away from him.
“Huh?” I asked.
Remember, I most likely have brain damage, and Luka is, well, Luka, so what he said really didn’t make sense, not in the least.
“You’re a pain in the ass,” he explained, his eyes moving over my face many times. “You are somehow alive, and honestly, you kind of amuse me in a sick, extremely demented and damaged way… Your mascara is running,” he said.
I gave him a look; in Luka’s mind that would be his top priority.
“That can happen when you’ve been buried alive in eight-inches of mud,” I pointed out. “It acts like a natural exfoliate. If I weren’t so mad at you for losing my grandmother’s shoes, I would thank you for the cheap day spa treatment, but since I am I won’t.”
To my surprise, he chuckled.
“You dye your hair?” he asked for some reason.
What is this guy on?!
“Does that disqualify me from becoming a vampire?” I retorted. “Because I know those ash highlights you are sporting aren’t natural.”
Luka shook his head. “No, I was just curious since your hair isn’t as dark as it once was in the front.”
“Oh, that,” I said, rolling my eyes, making a face. “I wouldn’t worry about it. It isn’t contagious or anything. Hereditary and rather rare, but not contagious, so your perfectly cropped, boyband reject hair is safe.”
To my surprise, Luka smiled, a genuine one, but I wasn’t sure why.
“Very well. Down to business, orders are orders,” he said cheerfully and pulled a knife from the back of his pants.
In my concussion-induced state, the knife looked like a machete and he was going to start hacking me up at any moment.
Suddenly, I wasn’t so content with dying.
“What are you going to do with that?” I asked, totally cool and collected.
In actuality I sounded like a strangled mouse.
“Kill you,” Luka said as if it were obvious, because let’s face it, it was painfully obvious. “I thought you were content with dying,” he smugly reminded me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, after fifteen attempts, then forced a smile. “I am completely content with dying. I have been since the moment they lowered my brother into the ground. Death would be a reprieve compared to the incredibly mundane and unlucky life I’ve lived, but you aren’t going to stab or hack me up. You’re going to kill me like a real man.”
“Huh?” he snorted.
“Am I vampire?” I asked before running my tongue along my teeth; they didn’t feel sharp and pointy. “I don’t know if there is a protocol for this type of thing. If the only way to kill me is by butcher knife or machete, I get it and can’t fault you for that. But if I’m not a vampire yet and can die in many, much more, traditional ways, that is the way I’d like to go.”
He looked at me with wide eyes.
“You’re going to strangle me with your own, perfectly manicured, hands,” I informed him, shimming across the floor towards him.
I didn’t want to die.
Not really.
Everyone dies, this I knew, some just die sooner than others. But at that moment, all of those long nights I spent alone in front of the TV were paying off.
At least I hope they were.
According to cop shows and murder mysteries, strangulation is the most personal form of murder. More often than not you’re looking at the person you’re killing, your eyes are locked on theirs, and you have to watch as the life visibly extinguishes from their eyes, and you have to use your own hands and strength in order to accomplish it. And, if TV wasn’t lying, this lazy jerk would never man up to do it like a real psychopath.
Andrei would have without a doubt. Heck, he’d love to strangle the life from me, and from his own brother most of the time, but at that moment I was dealing with Captain Whiner so I might have dodged the bullet…
Almost literally speaking.
“Are you insane?” Luka whined.
“No,” I said. “I’ve never been more in touch with my faculties… Minus the possible brain damage thanks to you and that nasty jab of yours. If I don’t die, I’m seriously pressing charges.”
He rolled his eyes.
“I think I have the right to die how I see fit, Mr. Bite Happy-Too Lazy to Bury a Girl Properly. Obviously my time isn’t up yet, being here is proof of that, because like you said, I should be dead. So, have at it, Douche Bag,” I taunted, tilting my head back, presenting my neck to him.
He looked between my neck and the knife in his hands many times.
Obviously, the annoying little girl confused the big, scary, old as dirt vampire.
“What’s wrong, Little Boy? Scared to get your hands dirty?” I teasingly sang with a knowing smirk.
“Shut up,” he hissed. “This is your own damn fault!”
I snorted, relaxing on the floor since he obviously wasn’t going to kill me anytime soon.
“No, it’s your fault,” I corrected. “And don’t you dare use that ‘I started it because I kicked you in the balls’ defense. That’s total crap! Besides, I didn’t mean to kick you in the balls, it was a knee jerk reaction and they were just there,” I admitted.
“Uh huh,” Luka scoffed.
This was interesting and all, but my body was starting to hurt even more from the manacles and cold floor.
“So where does this leave us?” I asked the obvious.
Luka looked at me and shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure,” he admitted. “Andrei said I have to kill you,” he reminded me.
I was rather confident that he’s hiding blond roots under the brown.
“No,” I corrected. “Mr. Tall, Dark and Miserable said that he wasn’t going to clean up this mess, and that he was tired of cleaning up after you, and that if the others found out you bought a Scion you’d have to deal with it on your own.”
Luka chuckled, shaking his head. “Not buy a Scion.”
“What then?”
“It isn’t the ugly car, but that would be a crime in itself. A scion is a child, an offspring, a progeny… It’s what they call the result of when a vampire sires. Werewolves mark those outside their packs without ties, witches bind, warlocks grow their coven with their cocks, necromancers have puppets, wizards have apprentices, fae just screw whatever they can get their sparkly hands on and call them Interbreeds. The list is really long. In this case, since I’m a vampire, it’s a scion.”
I’ve read a lot of books, but never about vampires, witches or werewolves. That stuff did absolutely nothing for me. Where most girls, especially those that aren’t getting laid, would swoon and drool over some immortal, overbearing jerk that wanted to suck their blood and hump their brains out in his coffin, it had no appeal for me. In fact, the whole necrophilia thing, because that’s what it was, for those ignorant, turned my stomach at the time. So this was completely foreign territory for me.
“Since I’m dead already,” I said, “do you care to elaborate? I don’t know anything about vampires or whatever.”
Luka’s head titled to the side and he scratched it in confusion. “You aren’t into the Hollywood crap?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I like… Never mind, but no, I’m not into that whole necrophilia and bestiality thing.”
“Whoa,” he said, giving me a look. “Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome?” I offered, unsure.
“It wasn’t a thank-worthy statement,” he informed me so I stuck my tongue out at him. “Maturity at its finest,” he said.
I raised my shackled hands. “You have that eff
ect on people,” I informed him. “I have a question or twenty. Werewolves? I’ve heard of those, the others I have as well but not enough to know what they are or how they… Werewolves?” I asked again.
I wouldn’t put it past Luka to have a pack of werewolves waiting to rip me to shreds in order to clean up his mess.
Luka smirked, looking at me amusingly. “That really wasn’t a complete question but yes, werewolves. If there’s such a thing as vampires, don’t you think that werewolves would be real as well? Hell, there is a whole plethora of mythical assholes roaming the earth, most of which you’ve never even heard of. So yes, werewolves are real as are vampires. I am a vampire,” he said before hissing, showing me his fangs.
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
“Oh how mature,” I dryly commented.
“Anyway, ignorant little girl,” he condescendingly sneered, “siring is when a vampire creates a new immortal life,” he partially explained, spacing off across the room.
Apparently I was boring him greatly.
“How does it work?” I asked the obvious. “You just have to bite someone and leave them for dead and they turn into a vampire?”
Luka sighed, shaking his head, appearing frustrated with me. “You truly know nothing of your kind, do you?”
Not entirely sure what that meant, I shrugged.
“The prevailing opinion is coitus is how humans procreate,” I offered, unsure what he was talking about when it came to me. “But according to many of the guests on Maury it’s divine intervention when they’re called the baby daddy.”
He chuckled. “I’ll have to remember that. Anyway, ignorant child, when a vampire decides to sire, the vampire takes the human’s blood into their system and the one being sired takes the vampire’s blood into theirs-”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “I didn’t drink your blood,” I pointed out the obvious. “That’s nasty.”
He looked at me curiously. “You didn’t intentionally. When you fought back you split my lip and that could have, in theory, been enough. I’ve done it before, mistakenly of course, and it was just a drop that was needed.”
“Ew,” I said then shivered in disgust. “So swapping blood and that makes me a vampire? Why did Andrei get so butt hurt about where you buried the body? Mine!”