by Claire Adams
I called him, listening to the phone ring and ring. He didn't pick up, and I swallowed hard, wondering if I should leave a message. In the end, I decided to do so, being deliberately vague: “Hi, Dr. Jones, it's Olivia. I was hoping we could talk again about my mom's situation. Please call me back.”
Maybe if I phrased it as a patient-doctor situation, he would be more likely to call back.
But he didn't call back, and as the days went by, I stopped expecting him to.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Eric
I scanned my list of appointments for the day, surprised to see Olivia's name on the list. We hadn't talked in a couple of weeks, so I had to assume that she had made the booking online. She hadn't listed a reason for the appointment, and I felt a bubble of concern, hoping that she was okay.
But she probably just wanted to talk about her mother's illness again.
I shook my head. Jeannie was just as stubborn as ever, and even though she was hanging on well, I had to wonder how much longer that would last. I couldn't believe that Olivia was sitting by and letting her mother decline, especially not since our conversation at the lake had seemed so promising. I thought that I had finally convinced Olivia that her mother needed the treatment, even if she didn't want it.
I thought back to the message that Olivia had left on my phone a couple of weeks before. She had said that she wanted to talk about something to do with her mother's illness again. But I had decided that the best course of action was to keep things between Jeannie and me from now on, rather than involving Olivia in things further.
It was partly that involving Olivia didn't seem to be affecting the situation: Jeannie wouldn't listen to her daughter any more than she would listen to the medical professionals. But it was also that I didn't want to deal with her at the moment. I didn't know how to deal with her at the moment. After Buck's revelation that they had slept together and after my realization that I was in love with Olivia, or had been anyway, I didn't know the first thing to say to her.
Fortunately, I had managed to avoid her around town for the past couple weeks. I had started bringing Emma to a different daycare, over in Westbrook, even though it meant a longer commute every morning and evening. Still, Emma seemed to be enjoying herself there, especially since there were other children her age at the daycare. I didn't regret the change as much as I felt like I should.
It seemed that my avoidance of Olivia was over now, though. If she truly had some medical issue, I'd treat it professionally. If she didn't have a medical issue, I'd politely ask her to quit wasting my work time.
I had a couple of appointments before Olivia's, and then I tried to get a little paperwork done. I had a hard time focusing, though, all of my thoughts turning around and around on what Olivia could possibly want to talk about.
The truth of it was, even if she wanted to talk to me about her mother's treatment, I suspected it was probably too late for me to do anything. I'd mostly handed Jeannie over to Dr. Halsey at this point because there wasn't anything else that I could do. I wasn't a specialist in this field, and if Jeannie were going to opt for surgery, I wouldn't be the one doing it.
I also knew that the more we let the tumors grow, the more unlikely it was that they would still be able to be operated on. At this point, it had been nearly three weeks since Jeannie had been admitted to the hospital; two weeks since she'd subsequently been released. I doubted there was much that we could do at this point.
If Olivia had wanted to talk about that, she should have made an appointment a while ago, and I had a feeling that she knew that.
Which meant that this had to be about something else. But what could it be? I didn't have all of Olivia's medical records still because she had decided that Chicago was close enough that she could continue seeing her doctor there for her yearly physical.
Maybe she was sick. I knew she was still running the daycare, with Harlan, and another few kids signed up for it so their parents could work during the summer. Everyone knew that where there were kids, there were colds. That was the most likely thing that I could come up with.
I shook my head and turned back to my paperwork, but even having resolved that this probably had to do with some minor illness, I couldn't seem to focus.
I didn't want to see her, to put it frankly. Not after hearing everything that Buck had said to Gary at the gas station. Not after realizing that she had lied to me. But if I treated her coldly and professionally, maybe she would get the hint that I was no longer interested and she would go to her doctor in Chicago in the future.
I was glad to hear the bells chime above the door as Olivia entered: at least it meant that my waiting and wondering was over. I just wanted this to be done with.
I stood up, schooling my face to a professional neutral. “Ms. Sable,” I said, nodding curtly at her. “What can I help you with today?”
She seemed nervous, and she fidgeted with her sleeves, biting her lower lip. “I'd like to consult with you about prenatal care,” she said quietly. Her eyes darted toward my face and then quickly away from me.
I felt as though the floor had dropped out from under me. I could hardly believe what I had just heard. Olivia was pregnant? I spared a look at her stomach, but she wasn't showing yet. She couldn't be too far along.
For one brief moment, I was proud of her for choosing to consult about prenatal care so early in her pregnancy. I knew a lot of people looked up everything that they were supposed to do online but then didn't do anything about it until later in the pregnancy, besides the obvious things like refraining from drinking alcohol or eating sushi.
But then, as her words sunk in, a sick feeling rose in my stomach. I had been careful to use a condom each time she and I had slept together, and I knew she was on birth control as well. The baby must be Buck's. Not only was she sleeping with someone else, but she was carrying someone else's baby as well.
I would never have gone back to her, knowing that she had slept with someone else, but finding out that she was pregnant with Buck's baby too made it all seem so real. Whatever feelings I had had for her, they were gone.
The fact that she had come to me to consult about prenatal care made me angry as hell. Where did she get off, thinking that she could just waltz in here and announce her pregnancy like that? Sure, she was probably pretty ticked that I hadn't called her back, but there was nothing else to say between us, not after she'd lied and slept with someone else. Or had she thought that she could get away with that?
I spared a moment to wonder why she hadn't gone to her doctor in Chicago about this. But then, she was practically gloating about it. Throwing it in my face. At least since I had heard it from her, here in the privacy of my office, it wouldn't be such a shock when the news spread around town. That was the only good that I could see in the situation, though.
I sat down at my desk and grabbed a sheet of paper, scrawling out a name and phone number. Then, I crossed quickly toward her, wanting to get her out of there as soon as possible so that I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore.
“Here's a recommendation for a doctor over in Kingsfield,” I bit out angrily, pushing the piece of paper into her hand and folding her fingers around it. “I'm afraid I currently have too many patients in my roster for me to take on another one. Anyway, prenatal care isn't my specialty. You should find yourself a proper gynecologist who will be with you for the entire process. Dr. Lazaro is a great choice, but if you don't like working with her, the internet can point you in the right direction, I'm sure.”
It was all true, as much as I hated saying it. I spared a moment to think about what it would be like if the baby was mine and she had come to me consulting about prenatal care. If her night with Buck had never happened.
I remembered how happy I'd been when Emily had told me that she was pregnant with Emma. I'd done everything that I could to be there for her during the pregnancy. I had taken care of her, massaged her feet and ankles when they'd gotten swollen and sore. I’d also gone to w
hatever lengths were necessary to satisfy her food cravings, even though a lot of times, by the time I got home with whatever it was that she had been craving, she had moved on to another bizarre craving.
But I had to stop thinking about that. This situation was totally different. For starters, it wasn't my baby.
Olivia's face fell. “Eric, I know that we never talked about what happened at the hospital, but I thought—”
I interrupted her with a bitter laugh. “It's not the hospital that I'm upset about; you know that.” I didn't know how she could continue to be so dense. She apparently really didn't realize that I knew about her and Buck.
Olivia paused. “I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't know why you would refuse to treat me,” she said, sounding pained. “I'll pay for my appointments; I'm not asking you to treat me as a friend. But don't you want to make sure that your baby has the best prenatal care possible?”
“My baby?” I asked incredulously. “Nice try!” I narrowed my eyes at her. “I know the baby isn't mine, and I can't believe that you would try to pass it off as mine. But then again, we all know you're a liar.”
“What are you talking about?” Olivia asked, and I almost believed that she was truly confused.
“We were careful,” I snapped. “I used a condom every time, and I know you're on birth control; I wrote your prescription for it last month, or do you not remember that?”
“But accidents happen, don't they?” Olivia asked desperately. “You're a doctor; you know birth control isn't 100% effective. Maybe there was a leak, or something else happened. I haven't slept with anyone else. Unless you're accusing me of being the next Mary, it has to be yours.”
“Oh, come off it,” I snarled. “I know that you slept with Buck the night you went to that wedding. I don't know why you feel the need to lie about it, but I know it's true. Now, I recommend that you talk to Dr. Lazaro about prenatal care, and please don't try to involve me in your personal life again.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Olivia
I felt like I might burst into tears at any second. I had finally gotten up the guts to tell Eric about the pregnancy, and now, I was regretting having done so. From the sound of things, he wanted no part in this baby's life.
It was enough to have me considering giving the baby up for adoption. I wasn't sure that I could be the mother that I needed to be, knowing that the baby had been born out of such an unhappy relationship. But I knew I couldn't do that. Things were so uncertain with Mom at the moment, and the only bright spot that I had at the moment was the knowledge that I was finally going to be giving her a grandchild. She had already gone shopping for some itsy bitsy shoes for the baby, as well as a couple of stuffed animals and other clothing items.
I didn't know what I'd expected, coming into Eric's office, but it definitely hadn't been this.
“Eric, I never slept with Buck,” I insisted. “I'm telling you, you're the only man that I slept with.”
“Take your lies somewhere else,” Eric said angrily. “I've had about enough of them! I heard Buck at the gas station. He was talking to Gary, the cashier, telling him all about how he fucked you. I think the details were that first you rode him, and then he pounded into you from behind? Does that sound accurate?”
I felt faint. I couldn't believe that Buck had said something like that. From what I knew of the man, even if we had slept together, he wasn't the type to go blabbing the details all over town. But the truth was, we hadn't slept together, so that made it even more puzzling. I didn't know what he was trying to gain by lying about it.
I swallowed hard. “Eric,” I pleaded, taking a step closer, reaching out toward him.
But Eric stepped back, his eyes hard and his arms folded across his chest. “Don't,” he said warningly. “I don't know what you think you're gaining by lying to me, but I'm not falling for it. He had all the details, Olivia, right down to that butterfly tattoo on your lower back. How else would he have known about that, if he didn't see you naked?”
“People see my tattoo all the time when my shirt rides up,” I said, shaking my head. “Eric, I swear to you, I didn't sleep with him. Please.”
“Get out of my office,” Eric said coldly.
“You're not going to tell anyone about the baby, are you?” I asked desperately. I didn't want to keep it a secret from the whole town, but I also didn't need Eric telling everyone that I was pregnant with Buck's kid. I could only imagine how confusing things would be if that were to happen.
Eric's face twisted into a nasty expression, but then he nodded curtly at me. “Just like any other patient, what we've discussed is confidential,” he said, emphasizing the fact that I was 'just like any other patient.' The words were like a stab to the heart, but at least I didn't have to worry about him telling anyone.
I stumbled out of his office, wishing that there was something that I could do to fix this. But I didn't even have anyone I could talk to about this. Telling Mom was certainly out of the question, and Eric was the only person that I had become friends with there in Tamlin. There were my friends back in Chicago, too, but I hadn't talked to any of them since I had moved away. We were all at such different places in our lives that it was difficult finding any common ground.
What I wanted was to confront Buck and ask why he'd been lying about me, but I couldn't do that. For all I knew, he hadn't actually lied about me at all. It was just something that Eric had made up. That seemed plausible.
Maybe Eric just really didn't want to be a father again.
The thought was sobering. He had told me right at the start that I was the first person that he had slept with since his wife. His signals toward me had been so hot and cold: he'd been so interested, and then we'd slept together, and he'd avoided me. Repeat.
I had to realize that sleeping with me must raise complicated feelings in him. And knowing that I was pregnant must make everything even more complicated. Maybe he felt like being happy to find out that I was pregnant meant that he was dishonoring his former wife. Or maybe he was concerned about how it would affect Emma.
None of that could excuse his behavior, but at least it helped me understand it a little.
But then again, given the way that he'd yelled at me at the hospital, getting frustrated with me for not convincing my mother to undergo chemotherapy, I had to wonder if it was about honoring his former wife's memory. It seemed like he was perpetually upset with me, even beyond the decisions that affected our relationship.
I swallowed hard, shaking my head. I didn't know what he was thinking, and he refused to tell me.
I turned the key, starting my car and preparing to drive off to somewhere, anywhere, to try to get him out of my head. But as I was backing out of the parking lot, I noticed Georgia Witherspoon pulling into a parking space.
Of course.
Maybe his refusal to believe that the child was his had nothing to do with Buck at all; that was just an excuse. Maybe he had finally decided to move on to Georgia, just like she'd been trying to get him to do for years. The woman was hot. I had to give her that. And she was persistent. I remembered the day she had run into us at the general store.The was that she had practically thrown herself at the doctor.
I had a sick feeling in my stomach, but it was nothing like morning sickness. No, I had a feeling that the real reason that Eric didn't care about this baby and refused to believe that it was his was because he had turned his gaze toward someone else. And after all, wasn't that the point of our relationship? We were just casual. I was just his rebound, preparing him for a real relationship after his wife's death.
I swallowed down bile and drove out of the parking lot, speeding down the road. I needed to put as much distance as I could between Eric and myself. Between Eric and Georgia and myself.
My tears started falling, and I had no choice but to pull over on the side of the highway, sobbing helplessly. It seemed like ever since I had heard mom's cancer diagnosis, everything in my life had been turning t
o shit. Every time I thought that I'd found a bright spot, that crumbled before my eyes as well.
Now, it seemed like I was losing my mom, as well as the man that I'd thought I could count on to stand by my side. Eric and I may have had our differences, but I had known him to be a good guy. I'd thought that if I told him about the pregnancy, we would be able to put aside everything that had come between us, that we would somehow make it work.
But instead, he had called me a liar and refused to even talk to me as a medical professional.
For the first time since finding out that I was pregnant, I began to have regrets. Maybe I should never have slept with Eric in the first place. I had hardly known the man. If I had known that things were going to turn out like this, I never would have gone out with him.
But he'd been so sweet and so charming that it was difficult to reconcile this side of him with the man that I'd had sex with. That man I had come to love, despite hardly knowing him. This man, though, I couldn't even face.
I put my hand over my still-flat stomach. As upset as I was, I didn't want any harm to come to the baby. It wasn't its fault that Eric and I couldn't make things work between us. I'd just have to try extra hard to show it, love, to make up for the lack of a father.
With that thought in mind, I grabbed the piece of paper that Eric had given me, which I'd tossed in the cup holder. Then, I called to set up an appointment with Dr. Lazaro.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Eric
The evening after Olivia came into my office, announcing that she was pregnant, I still didn't know what to think. I felt like I was still processing everything. She had seemed so sincere when she informed me about the pregnancy, and so sure that the baby was mine. In fact, she seemed shocked that I would even consider that the baby might be someone else's. It was all just so confusing.