by Claire Adams
We finished our coffee and sat in silence for a while. When I saw the first light streak across the sky, my face lit up.
“Did you see that?” I jumped up from the chair.
“Yeah, I saw it,” he chuckled.
“I've never seen a shooting star before.” I wrapped my arms around myself as I stood there, head tipped toward the sky.
“They say you should make a wish on a shooting star,” he said as he stood, coming to stand next to me.
“They do?” I could feel him close to me.
“They do.” He took a step closer and pointed in another direction. “Look,” he said, drawing my attention to another streak of light dancing across the sky. When I looked, my face was turned toward his. The warmth from his body radiated toward mine. I leaned against him, and his hands found their way around my waist.
“You cold?” he asked, his closeness unnerving. I shook my head and slowly turned in his arms until I was facing him, pressed to his chest, his arms tightened around my waist, falling just at the small of my back.
“Is this okay?” he whispered, his breath tickling my skin. The goosebumps that followed spread slowly down my arms.
“This is nice.” I looked up into his eyes.
“You know,” he said in a half-whisper, “I, too, am glad you weren’t eaten by bears.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I rested my forehead against his chest and chuckled. “Yeah, me too,” I said as I returned my gaze upward.
He looked down at me. Shadowed in darkness, I couldn't see exactly what he was looking at, but the ball of nerves in my stomach wanted to look away. I turned my face slightly, but his hand rose, and he placed a finger under my chin and lifted it back toward him.
“As beautiful as these stars are, you outshine them, and I don’t think you even know it,” he said softly then slowly lowered his face toward mine. His lips gently brushed over my cheek and then moved to my mouth. His kiss was soft, and I melted into it. He pulled back, gazed at me for a moment, and then kissed me again. Harder this time, more need in this one. I felt his tongue pass over the seam of my lips, and I opened for him. I was lost in the warmth of his kiss. I could taste the sweetened coffee on his tongue as it passed over my own. His hand wrapped itself in my hair, and he pushed closer to me, heat igniting between us.
My body was screaming with need, a need I had never experienced before. I had heard stories about the butterflies that felt like they were swarming in your core, but I had never experienced them until now. We stood kissing under the stars, learning each other through just a kiss. I ran my hands up his chest and then over his shoulder finding the slight curl to the ends of his hair along his neck. I ran my fingers up into them and gave them a slight tug, trying my best to get closer.
“Emerson,” he groaned against my mouth, and all I could do was nod.
Part of me that knew this was bad, very very bad, but the other part of me was so starved for the connection that it didn't care, and it overrode every logical thought that popped into my head. He slowly walked me backward toward the porch. His hands ran over my ass, and he lifted me. I wrapped my legs around him. He walked up the stairs, his lips never veering from my skin. The door slammed behind us, and then I felt myself being lowered. The cold of the countertop made me flinch, and I heard his deep rumble chuckle against me.
“Sorry.” He traced the cuff of my ear with his mouth and then pulled my earlobe between his lips. His fingers traced over the sliver of skin that was exposed along the bottom of my shirt. He lifted it slowly and pulled it over my head. His eyes dropped to my breasts, and I heard him catch his breath.
“God, you are beautiful,” he whispered and kissed along my cleavage. My hands went to his, and I pushed his toward my breasts. I wanted those hands all over me.
“Luke...” I groaned, lost in the feel of his touch. I had expected rough and quick, but he was being super gentle and a little cautious with me. I wasn't sure why, but I wasn't going to complain. I felt my bra pop loose, the straps falling to my elbows. His fingers traced my skin and pushed the straps away.
That’s when I heard the slamming of a car door outside. I jumped, looking up at Luke and reaching for my shirt on the counter next to me. Without a word, I pulled it to cover my chest and slid quickly off the counter and out of his grasp.
“Emerson, wait.” I heard his words, but I was already out the back door and running across the porch into mine.
I slammed the door shut, my chest heaving. I was on the verge of tears, but they didn't fall. I was stupid; that should have never happened.
Chapter Fifteen
Luke
Ryan walked through the front door, and I wanted to hit him.
He pointed toward the back door with a confused look on his face. “Dude? Was that Emmy leaving?”
I walked to the back door and looked for Emerson, but her door was already shut. Her bra laid on my kitchen floor. I reached for it, rubbing the soft cotton between my fingers. She had been everything I hoped she would be. The feeling of her skin beneath my fingers was a rush I had never known.
“What the fuck man?” I scolded him, shoving her bra into a drawer.
“How was I to know you would be getting down and dirty with her? After the way you talked, I didn't even know you liked her like that.” He shrugged. “So, you and Emmy?”
“I don't know. It just felt right, and I went with it.”
“I can't believe you didn't hear my truck coming up the drive.” Ryan opened the fridge and pulled out two beers handing one to me. “Here. You look like you need this.”
“Why are you here?” I shook my head, and he put the second beer back in the fridge.
“Cindy told me no.”
“And? That involves me how?”
“I don't know. I've never been told no before. I figured I would come back here and hang with you two for the night.”
I couldn't help the laughter that escaped my lips as I looked at him.
“Are you really laughing at me?” he asked.
“Yeah, I am. You look kinda heart broken.”
“I am, a little,” Ryan sat at the table and picked at the label of his beer. “She was my go to and has been for years. I wonder what changed,” he pondered. There was sincerity in his voice, something I didn't hear often.
“Maybe she’s tired of your shit and wants more than just a friends-with-benefits situation,” I said, looking over toward the wall, knowing Emerson was on the other side and wanting to be with her.
“Yeah, well, she knew the rules. I just want to have fun; she knows that.” He looked over at me.
“Time changes people, and we aren't exactly getting any younger. Sucks to be turned down though.” I smiled and walked over to the table slapping him on the back.
“I've got to go put up those chairs.” I walked out the door and started toward the chairs but stopped. Instead, I stepped over to Emmy’s door and knocked, hoping she’d answer. She didn’t. I saw her shadow move at the end of the hall, which meant now was not the time.
I turned and headed for the chairs, taking them back into the shop. I stopped and looked over at a project I had been working on. My body was tense with want, and I needed to work off some of that buildup. I pulled out my hand sander and started working on smoothing the surface. It was well after three am when I looked back at the clock. I turned off the machine and laid it to the side. Stretching, I walked across the yard, looking up at her window. There was a soft glow coming from behind the curtains. I pulled my phone out and opened my texting app. I started to type out an apology but then thought better of it and shoved my phone back in my pocket. She knew I’d knocked earlier, so the ball was in her court.
Ryan was snoring softly on my couch, the throw blanket pulled over his bare chest when I came in. I hit the kitchen light and walked up the stairs, dropping to the edge of my bed. I wanted to talk to her, make sure she was alright, but I felt it wasn't the right time.
I brushed my teeth and laid in th
e bed thinking about her. My phone dinged on the nightstand.
I'm really sorry
Emerson
You have nothing to apologize for
Luke
I don't know what came over me
Emerson
I don't understand.
Luke
We should talk tomorrow
Emerson
Can we have lunch?
Luke
That sounds great, see you then. G’night, Luke.
Emerson
Goodnight, Emmy
Luke
The phone bounced on the bed when I let it go. I wasn't sure what we had to talk about. I wanted her, she obviously wanted me, so what was left?
***
I stood in front of the mirror the next morning, my eyes telling the truth about my lack of sleep. I could hear Ryan in the kitchen running the Ninja.
“I was wondering if you were going to actually get up. Here’s your shake. Let's get going.” He walked out of the kitchen and into the backyard. It was well after seven, and I stood there drinking my shake and watching as he moved around the yard setting everything up.
“I thought we were taking a day off,” I complained.
“And you need to work out this morning, obviously,” he hinted at how tense I was. I never said anything about not working or practicing. He knew I was off and wasn't going to let it go.
“I'm sorry about what happened.”
“What, you interrupting maybe the best night of my life?” I whisper shouted.
“It is like that, I see.” He smiled.
“You would have to be blind to not see what I see.”
“Oh, I see it, but she is not my type. Yours, yes, mine... no.” He smiled bigger.
“This isn't a joke, Ryan.”
He stopped and looked me dead in the eyes. “I know, and I'm not treating like it is.” He handed me my ax and pointed toward the log that was set up. I didn't want to do this right now.
“Can we run first?” I asked.
He nodded his head and walked toward me. “Running it is,” he said and ripped his shirt over his head then started stretching. I followed suit, and once we were warmed up we started down the driveway.
The run was exactly what I needed. My feet pounding the pavement helped clear my head. I thought about before and after the kiss. The one kiss that had changed everything. I knew, and I was fairly certain she knew, that everything had changed.
“Dude, where you going?” Ryan shouted at me.
“Home. Why are you running so slow?” I called back at him.
“I'm not. You are burning up the road, you in a hurry?”
“No, just ready to get the day started.” I ran a little slower, letting Ryan catch up to me. I could see his shit-eating grin in my peripheral vision.
“Shut it,” I scolded him.
“Not sayin’ a word,” he laughed then slowed to a walk putting his hands over his head. We walked in silence back to the house. I saw her sitting on the porch with her coffee wrapped in her hands. Her shy smile made my heart beat a little bit harder.
“Morning,” I waved as I walked by.
She didn't speak, just waved and continued to watch us.
We went through the motions of a workout, but really, we just fooled around. We worked hard all the time, so having a light day was exactly what we needed. Plus, after last night, I couldn't do serious today. I wanted to get done so I could shower and get ready for lunch. I turned the shower on and stepped in, making sure I shaped my beard up a little and washing my hair better than I usually did. I wanted her to see me the way she should and not like the caveman I usually looked like. It was only the second time in my life that I wanted to look good for someone else. Weird.
Chapter Sixteen
Emerson
I pulled my hair up and walked next door. His door was open, so I walked in and found some pasta salad on the counter. There was some bread and a couple jars of condiments sitting beside it.
“I wasn't expecting you so soon,” Luke said as he walked into the room hair still wet and shirtless. His beard had been trimmed. I wanted to walk over, push him against a wall and kiss him, but I knew that I couldn't or shouldn't.
“Sorry, I was done with what I was working on, so I just walked over. The door was open.” I pointed over my shoulder toward the door.
“It's fine,” he smiled at me. “You’re always welcome to come in when you want. Let me just go grab a shirt.” He turned and walked out of the room leaving me standing there wishing he wouldn’t go get a shirt.
I busied myself fixing sandwiches. I was almost done when he reappeared in a baseball style t-shirt with black sleeves that clung to his arms while the gray material stretched over his broad chest. I had known he was built, but feeling him against me the night before had made it even more vivid in my head.
“I made you a sandwich,” I said turning back to the counter and picking up his plate. “I hope you like mustard.” I turned back around quickly and ran into his chest the plate and sandwich falling to the floor.
“Crap,” I sighed.
“It's fine, Emmy.” He reached for me, but I stepped back.
“Please,” I begged for a little space. I needed to get my thoughts together before I started talking. I leaned down and cleaned up the sandwich. I wanted to say so many things. Things that I knew wouldn't matter to anyone but me, but things that needed to be said.
“Emerson?” He looked down at me. I stood slowly and walked over to the trash can, dropping the sandwich into the empty container.
I looked up at him, and the concern on his face was obvious. He reached out for my hand, and I let him take it. He pulled my hand up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss over my knuckles.
“I don't even know where to begin.” I started. He continued to hold my hand, squeezing it tightly.
“Well, before you begin, I want you to know I like you. I want that to be clear,” he looked into my eyes pleading with me to continue.
“I just don't know if this was the right thing to do. I won't be here forever. My future isn't here.” I shrugged. I didn't know what else to say.
“So, you are giving up before anything even starts?”
“I don't know what I’m doing. I think Ryan showing up kept us from making a big mistake.” His hand let go of mine, and I let it fall to my side. He didn't look happy, but I can't say that he looked sad either. He just looked at me, into my soul. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but I knew the connection was real. I didn't even know why I was standing here telling him ‘no’ when I knew that ‘yes’ was the right answer. What would happen when I moved to Portland? I wouldn't have time for a long-distance relationship, and he wouldn't move with me. At least, I didn’t think he would. Luke was not a city boy by any standard.
I was just so confused. I hadn't moved here to find a man; I was completely fine by myself, and then he had to go and kiss me last night. My world had tilted on its axis when his lips touched mine, but there was no way that would continue. I couldn't take that chance. I knew he had the power to shatter my heart, and I also knew he was my neighbor for the rest of the year, so a fall out would be horrible.
“Will you look at me?” he asked softly.
I tilted my head up and found his eyes. Gorgeous, blue-gray eyes. Soft around the edges.
“Get out of your own head, Emmy.” He smiled. “We can tear this apart, or we can just see where it goes. I'll admit that things happened kinda fast last night, but there is nothing anyone could give me to make me change it.”
“I just...” he put his finger over my lips to stop my words.
“Let's just have some lunch and go back to the way things were when you were standing next to me, watching shooting stars. I can accept that I might have rushed you, but I won't accept that it isn't right.”
I nodded, letting his words wash over me. He smiled and reached for the second sandwich that was on a plate. “Go sit, and let's eat some lunch.”
“But your sandwich,” I turned back to start making him another.
“I can make it, sit.” He pointed to the table and then steered the conversation away from anything that involved us and his lips on mine. We talked about my work and about his schedule over the next few months. He made me promise to come to the competition in Portland since it would be the closest.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked. His voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
“That would actually be perfect. My grandfather asked me several months ago to keep the office under control while he went on vacation. I will assume that they are still going after all that has happened. I’ll call Mimi later and make sure.” I was rambling.
“Good. I’d like for you to see what we do and how we compete. It's only fair since you have to put up with all the noise.” He smiled and then stood, walking over to the sink.
“Thank you for lunch.” I stood and walked toward the door putting the bar in between us.
“Anytime.” he nodded then looked back down at the sink. I stood there for a few seconds thinking that he would say something else, really kind of hoping he would, but he didn't. He picked up stuff off the counter and started toward the fridge.
“See ya later.” I said before rushing out the door. I hurried over to my door and walked in grabbing my backpack and headed out into the woods. I need some quiet to really think about everything. I knew my reaction had been knee jerk, but I also knew my record with men. They always said they could handle someone who was independent, but in reality, they never could. There were so many things I liked about Luke, but there were also things I saw as issues. Maybe it was just me, maybe I needed to get used to accepting help from someone without strings attached. He mowed the lawn, and he always took care of the outside of the house. He helped me with my bags, or anything else he ever noticed I might need help with. I had to clear my head.
I walked out into the woods and found my meadow, spread out my small blanket, and laid down, looking up at the cloudy sky.