by Claire Adams
“To winning it all this year,” I said.
We once again clinked glasses and poured the shots back.
Within the hour, I was tripping over my furniture and laughing at Ryan as he danced around my living room. He was trying his best to keep my mind off Emmy, but as we emptied another bottle, my thoughts kept drifting to her.
“Holy shit, I'm drunk,” Ryan laughed. “I haven't been this drunk in years.”
“Why do they always cheat on me?” I said as I swayed where I stood.
“Who?”
“Women, all of them.” My vision was blurring in and out.
“She’s a good woman. I don't believe it.” Ryan tapped his head.
I felt my vision starting to darken around the edges.
“I need to go lay down.” I ran my hand along the wall as I walked up the stairs; it took me a good while to get to the top. Halfway up, I was climbing the stairs on my hands and knees. When I got there, I had to crawl to my bed.
“Why did you have to do this to me?” I growled and rubbed my chest as the pain seeped through me.
I was a fool.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Emerson
“Thanks for sharing your umbrella. I have no idea where mine is.”
“It's fine.” Chris’ arm snaked around me and pulled me in closer. I moved close to get under the umbrella. It made me a little uncomfortable to be so close to him, but wet was wet and dry was dry. He was joking around about the mean client we’d had a meeting with that morning.
“Shut up.” I laughed as he gave an impression of my scowl, the one he said I’d made yet again when she was complaining about something in the proposal.
“You've been wearing that thing for weeks.” He did it again, sticking his lip out.
“I'm a little stressed. I just have so much to do.” I frowned and then stopped.
“What? Why are we stopping?” he asked.
“There’s something in my eye,” I stated, blinking, trying to get it out.
“Let me see.” He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face to his before I cold protest. I pulled back from the much too intimate gesture.
“Never mind. I think I got it,” I announced, still blinking. I started to walk again.
“I think you need a joke,” he stated.
I raised my eyebrows and listened.
“What is white and black and red all over?”
I laughed because I knew the answer. “A newspaper, boring.” I smiled.
“Nope, pandas in a chainsaw fight.” I laughed.
“Only you would incorporate a chainsaw into that joke.” I reached for the handle and released him as I walked into the coffee shop where John and two other co-workers were waiting to eat lunch with us.
Four hours later, I scanned in the last document from Granddad’s purely paper filing system. I literally did a happy dance all over the office until John and Stephanie appeared at my door and began applauding my dance skills. Chris followed close behind.
“We are finally paperless, ladies and gentlemen!” I announced. “Now, I am heading home and I won't see you guys for a couple of weeks, okay?”
“You work on your grant. If there are any problems, I’ll get in touch with you.” John high-fived me then turned and walked across the hall into his office, and I got the hell out of Dodge and headed to Granddad’s house.
I spent the next day working from Granddad’s home office, getting his computer set up and integrated with the new system at the main office. I was excited to surprise Luke since he wasn't expecting me until Friday.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Luke
I heard her truck coming down the driveway late Thursday night. I watched as she pulled her bag from the cab and walked over, sitting it on her porch before heading to my door. She saw me and opened the door walking quickly toward me. I stood and put an arm up stopping her.
“Hey handsome,” she smiled and tried to walk into my arms again.
I dodged her.
“Luke, what’s wrong?” she looked confused.
“Why don't you tell me the truth?” I growled.
She stood there looking innocent, unaware I’d seen what she was up to. Of course she would look that way. Have a little fun with the poor country boy for a while, but always have her eye on the bigger prize. I was done. After I had been cheated on by my only serious girlfriend, I swore to myself that I would never let it happen again, and there I stood with a girl who was so good at it that she didn't even realize she’d been caught.
“Luke, talk to me. I'm not sure what is going on.”
I turned and walked into the kitchen, the sound of her footsteps behind me. I pulled a glass from the cabinet and the whiskey from the top of the fridge and poured me a full glass. I tipped the liquid back and reveled in the burn.
“I don't understand why you’re angry with me.” Her arms were crossed in front of her, and when I looked at her face she was rolling her bottom lip between her teeth like she did when she was worried.
“Oh, I don't know, Emerson? Maybe because you insist on hanging out with a man you know I don't like.”
“Luke, I don't understand what you are talking about.”
“And have dinner together and lunch,” I rambled on. “And sharing umbrellas and walking arm in arm.”
“What?” Her forehead scrunched up.
“Oh, didn't think I knew about how close you and Christopher really are?”
“Were you in Portland yesterday?” Her eyes widened, but she still maintained her confused facade.
“Yeah, I came to surprise you.” I shrugged. “Seems I was the one in for a surprise. Seems that you and Chris have had something going on. He’s been telling me for months. And I didn’t believe it.”
“That isn't what happened.” Her hands were now balled in fists beside her.
“Oh really? I saw what I saw, and what I saw was a girl and a guy cuddled up under an umbrella all cozy like, laughing as they walked through the rain to go have lunch together alone. There isn't much else you can see in that.”
She stood there looking at me with disbelief, tears welling up in her eyes.
“It's not fun being found out, huh?” I poured more amber liquid into the glass and lifted it to my mouth needing the burn to focus me.
She shook her head softly and her voice quietened. “If you honestly believe that's what you saw, then it doesn't matter what I say to you at this point. You’re not going to believe me anyway.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned away from me.
I swiveled around to face the kitchen. Her footsteps echoed down the hall, and then my door slammed. When I heard her screen door slam, I turned and walked out into the yard. Heat began rising up my throat and I knew for the first time in years, I might cry.
I’d thought she was different, but she was exactly like my ex. I still couldn't even say her name after all of the years. And there I was, history repeating itself, except this time I was in love with her.
I stood in the yard and looked skyward, searching for signs I might have missed. Other than the distance that had come between us, most of them had been from Chris. Her door opened, and she stomped out into the yard stopping directly in front of me.
“I walked under an umbrella to a restaurant where three other co-workers were waiting. Something I have done a hundred times with Chris, John, and Robbie, and probably other guys over the years I haven’t thought twice about. Every time, I try to stay close to the person so we can both stay under the fucking umbrella, and I would do the same with Ryan or you.” She poked me in the chest as she spoke. “I can't make this jealousy issue you have, or whatever it is, go away, and apparently being honest with you doesn't work either. I have never been with Chris and have never wanted to be. Since I got here, there has only been you. I don't know what else you want me to say. You told me that we were wiping the slate clean, and here you are with your insecurities hanging out all over the place, and instead of talking to me
you made assumptions that were very wrong. Is that why you fucked me the way you did when you got home Sunday? Because of your insecurities? Did Chris tell you something else that you halfway believed? That’s a dick move, Luke!” She shoved my chest and turned to walk away.
I grabbed her arm and jerked her back to face me. I lowered my face and looked her in the eyes. “Then how does he know about your scar?” I said between gritted teeth.
Her eyes widened, and then a look I didn’t recognize crossed her features.
“Chris told you I have a scar?”
“He’s told me a lot of things.” I raised an eyebrow, cocking my head to the side. “He's told me about you warming his bed when you are in Portland. He told me exactly where the scar is and what it’s shaped like.”
She took a step back from me and shook her head.
“What? Can't handle the truth?”
“No, I'm trying to figure out how you could even believe that I would do that to you.” Her hands went to her jeans, she undid them and shimmied them over her hips, leaving her panties on, and pointed at the scar.
“You can see it when I have a bathing suit on,” she said with a tone that all but told me I’m an idiot. “Chris has been to my grandparents’ house dozens of times over the years, and this scar has been here since I was eight.”
I wanted to believe her, but my mind was running wild.
“And I don’t even know what the inside of Chris’ house looks like. I stay with Granddad and Mimi when I am in Portland. Here, call them, ask them.” She reached into her back pocket, pulled her phone out, and shoved it into my chest.
My heart was hammering as I started to realize that maybe I had overreacted to a bunch of bullshit Chris had planted in my head.
“Chris has been hitting on me since middle school, and I have never gone there. Even with my mother pushing me, I wouldn't. And I sure as hell wouldn't have started this with you and then turned to him. I am not that person.” Tears were flowing down her face. “This is the closest to love I have ever felt, and I wouldn't do anything to mess that up. I am terrified that my life is going to move and yours is here, and I'm going to end up devastated.” She stepped closer to me. “But you were worth the risk. I wanted you for as long as I could have you.”
She looked into my eyes, and I knew then that I was, in fact, and idiot. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. She was telling me the truth and had been all along. When Ryan had told me last night to get out of my head, I hadn't understood, but I did now. Chris was a prick, and I knew that, yet I’d believed him as if his word was gold. He took advantage of her and had tried everything he could to get to her, even going through me. I reached my hands toward her face and used my thumbs to wipe the tears from under her eyes.
“I'm sorry.” I didn't know what else to say.
“You're an asshole!” she halfway shouted at me. “You should be sorry.”
I nodded because it was true. I pulled her to me. She didn't fight me. She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.
“What am I going to do with you and your damned imagination?” she mumbled.
“You are something everyone wants, and I don't want to share.”
“You are never going to have to share me. Well, maybe with Ryan, but you know how needy he is.” She leaned back and looked at me.
“Can we please get Chris out of our relationship for good? I don't like him being involved.” I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips softly against hers.
“I don't either.”
“I'll talk to him next time I'm in the office. I won’t stand for him saying things about me that aren't true.”
I kissed her again, and as if on cue, Ryan’s truck came rumbling down the driveway.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Emerson
“You two are giving me whiplash.” Ryan smiled when he saw us standing together in the kitchen.
“We’re good.” Luke leaned over and kissed my temple. I continued to cut the vegetables and dropped them in the pan beside me.
“Here, take this out to the grill.” Luke shoved a plate at Ryan.
“No makeup sex while I'm here, unless I can watch.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I laughed.
“Out.” Luke shoved him.
“Geez, you see how he treats me?” Ryan said over his shoulder as he moved out to the grill.
“I really am sorry.” Luke dropped a kiss on my lips before he followed Ryan out of the house.
We spent the night sitting outside until the bugs started to eat us alive. Ryan left shortly after we headed into the house. I stood at the screen door watching as the moon got higher into the sky. Luke’s arms wrapped around me, and I sank into his chest.
“I don't want you to go,” he said softly into my ear.
“I don't want to go either.” I turned in his arms. He lifted my face so his beard was tickling my chin. His eyes crinkled around the edges and leaned in a gave me a soft kiss. When he pulled back, he licked his lips and kissed me again. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but it was intimate, one that let me know how he felt.
I pulled away from him and walked toward the stairs. He followed me to his room. I pulled my shirt over my head and pushed my jeans over my hips leaving my bra and panties in place. He did the same, and we climbed in bed. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him.
I woke with Luke still holding me. I moved, and he tugged me closer.
“I've got to use the restroom.” I kissed his bicep, and he released me. I used the restroom and washed my hands before brushing my teeth. I walked back into the bedroom and found Luke sprawled on his back, one arm behind his head the other resting on his chest. I crawled back in the bed and wiggled under his arm, placing my face against the smattering of hair over his pecs.
“What’s on the agenda for the day?” he said. The deep timber of his voice tickled my eardrum.
“I really have to work on this report and get it sent in,” I said tracing my finger over the lines of his abs.
“Do it here. I’ll be working on the plans for my next table, so I'll be inside all day.”
I nodded then closed my eyes, falling asleep again.
Luke pushed me to my back easily, waking me up, and then smiled down at me. His hair fell over his face, and his beard rubbed against my neck as he moved closer to kiss me. His lips feathered across mine, and I leaned forward to deepen this kiss. He pulled back and smiled.
“Not yet.” He pushed away from me, and when I lost his warmth, I shivered. He looked down at me and lifted the blanket to cover me.
“You don't have to get up, but I need to.” He turned and walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower come on, and I stood, walking toward the bathroom. I pulled my panties and my bra off and pulled the curtain back, stepping in behind him. My cold hands caused him to jump when they connected with the skin on his back. I reached for the soap and poured a little in my hand. I ran them over his back, feeling the muscle contract with each pass. The swell of his ass was too tempting, and I found my hands running over it and then around to his front. He turned and pulled me against him.
“I wasn't expecting this.” He kissed me harder than he had since I came back. I leaned into his chest the warmth of his skin seeping into mine. Water dripped from his face and onto mine as he moved his mouth gracefully against mine. I could feel him swelling between us, pushing against my belly asking for attention. I took him in my hand and then lowered my body until my mouth was almost to him. I licked him softly, never taking my eyes off his. He watched me carefully as I moved. Swirling my tongue over his length, his body trembled with each pass.
I knew I was doing something right when his head fell back, and he said my name. Maybe I was inexperienced in these kinds of things, but it couldn't be that hard if what I was doing felt that good. I took him into my mouth, feeling him bump the back of my throat. He groaned again, and then his fingers found the back of my head. He pushed me against him, and I let him. He was moving his h
ips in line with my movements, and then he reached down and pulled me up and against him.
“Not like this,” he said and turned me into the hot stream of water. He washed my hair and body, turning the water off and grabbing a towel to dry me off with. He walked me to the bed and then sat me down, looking over my body. I fought the instinct to cover myself and let him take me in. His cock was still hard and jutting out almost at my eye level, and I reached for it. He pulled back and smiled down at me.
“When I come, I want it to be inside of you, feeling you come around me, not in your mouth with you on your knees.” I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He sat on the bed beside me and pushed my wet hair out of my face. And then he said again. “While that seems to be every man’s dream, I’m not every man. To me that’s degrading, the part about you being on your knees.”
I blushed fiercely and looked away from him. He pulled my face back to his. “I will always respect you, Em. Always.”
“So, I didn't do anything wrong?” I squeaked out.
“Of course not. You did everything right.” He smiled and pushed at my hair again. “I know I’ve been an asshole, and I'm so sorry for that. I want you to know that I am all in, and there won't be any more assumptions made. I will talk to you, and we will figure it out together if I ever feel jealous. And let me make one thing clear: you will never be less than me. We walk side by side in this, and that is how it will always be, okay?” He looked into my eyes, and the smile that came across my face widened.
There we sat naked and wet from a shower that I had tried to crash, and he was being super sweet. The Luke that I was quickly falling for. He cupped my cheek then kissed me. The kiss turned hot, and soon we were tangled together in the sheets.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Luke
I watched her as she typed her knees pulled up beside her resting on the chair that I was sitting in. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head, and her glasses were on the tip of her nose. I smiled over at her. She looked up and smiled back.