by Claire Adams
"I want to make it up to you," he said. I walked to the couch finding the clothes I had left there for him before I had left that morning. Same as the day before: dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt. We really needed to do something about that. He looked crazy walking around in seventy-degree weather dressed like the Grim Reaper.
"Then hurry up and get dressed. We're losing daylight," I said, giving him the clothes. He took the clothes, coming closer to me.
"Thank you," he said. He kissed me lightly before walking over to the bed and starting to get dressed.
I left the room that time. We were probably past that kind of modesty, but I liked to think that I was at least trying to be professional. He was done quickly, and we were on the road again, right after grabbing a swimsuit for him from the gift shop. The place we were going today didn't have swimmable waters, but I couldn't take him to another beach dressed in his mourning gear.
He didn't ask me where we were going when we got on the road. He just let me take him. I kept glancing over at him as I drove, just to make sure he was all right. The night before had been...interesting. I had read up on what withdrawal did to people so I knew that even though he was sitting there, looking fairly comfortable, he was most likely very uneasy.
Had he done anything when I was gone? I wondered. Had he used at all?
I didn't like thinking that he had done that when I was gone, especially since he had managed to get through the night. But if he had, well, today was another day.
We got to the beach and into our swimsuits. He had been really opposed to getting the swimsuit, but I managed to finally convince him, telling him that he was embarrassing me. He wasn’t, I had only been teasing, but it had worked. He had let me pick it, and I had only gone with a pair of board shorts because getting him a speedo would have just been taking advantage of him.
He'd get a lot of stares in whatever he was wearing. I had seen him naked before, but he wore the hell out of the board shorts. I had gotten him a blue pair because that had been the darkest color they had. They sat pretty low on his hips.
He was in great shape, muscular but not in that weird, gross way that bodybuilders were. Tall and built. Wide, broad shoulders, but trim in the waist and hips. He was lean, and his tattoos were dark on his lightly tanned skin.
He had the kind of body men tried to build in the gym. I noticed both women and men checking him out. Not going to lie, it made me feel a little proud that he was there with me. It wasn’t a date or anything, and we weren’t together, but we weren’t just a tour guide and tourist anymore. We had passed beyond that, for sure, but I wasn’t sure as to what.
The beach was smaller here than at the resort. We were at Shipwreck Beach, named after the famous WWII ship that had wrecked off its shore. It was more of a lookout than a beach where people came to lounge, but it was a pretty cool sight to see. It was almost fully above water, and the elements hadn’t completely laid waste to it.
There were ruins of ancient civilizations on the island, and even though the ship was nowhere near as old, it fit the ruggedness and historic feel that the island had. I looked over at Nate as we walked the trail to the sand.
"There, isn't that better? Now you blend right in."
He smiled wryly. "I looked like an asshole, I know. I wasn't wearing it because I thought it was comfortable," he said, raising his left arm. His track scars. Of course. "Think anyone will believe me if I say they're mosquito bites?" he asked me, sarcastically. I had a scar I wasn't proud of either, but the difference was I hadn't given my scar to myself.
"Nobody's going to be paying close enough attention to notice," I reassured him.
"Doesn't matter if they see them; I know they're there."
"Are you going to wear long sleeves your whole life?" I asked.
"I've been thinking about getting them covered, the whole arm," he said. “I would have already, but my tattoo guy would never forgive me for shooting dope into his artwork."
"I'm sure we can head somewhere with fewer people; come on," I encouraged him.
“Can't take me anywhere, huh?” he said, jokingly.
“Not even when you let me,” I shot back. He chuckled.
“Come this way,” I said, walking away from the rest of the people on the beach. The beach wasn’t that big, but people were concentrated around the wreck viewpoint, which was a raised, rocky area close to the water’s edge.
Further away, on the sand, we wouldn’t get the best view, but his comfort was more important than an old, rusty boat. "There it is," I told him, pointing towards the ship from where we were.
"How old is it?"
"It wrecked during the Second World War. The wind makes the water between here and Molokai, which is the island you can see over behind it, really choppy. There are a lot of reefs, too. Many more ships possibly went down here."
"Huh, you guys must have a lot of ghosts," he quipped. I laughed.
"Maybe a few," I said, looking out at the wreck. "I hope they're friendly."
"What, like Casper?"
"Yeah," I said. "Like Casper. They've been hanging out here since the war, and they just want to see what's changed. See if they can make new friends."
"You know Casper is the ghost of a dead kid, don't you?" he said. I was about to say that he wasn’t when I thought about it.
"That's so dark," I laughed.
"It's true," he said, smirking. I smiled at the thought of him enjoying cartoons. He probably had as a child. It was sort of nice. It was humanizing, thinking about him in more and different contexts. He was an entire person; I had to remember that. This Nate, the one who was just a guy on vacation had all but completely replaced the image I had had of him as a celebrity in a band.
I was really glad that I had gotten myself into babysitting him again. Anything that helped him with what he was going through. Besides the thing about his scars, he seemed pretty all right.
"Are you okay?" I asked him carefully.
"It's been a day and a half," he said, knowing exactly what I was referring to.
"On a scale of one to ten? Ten being the worst and one being fine."
"Four and a half," he said. "I guess it helps that the stuff's on the other side of the island and I couldn't get to it no matter how much I want to."
"Did you... When I was gone, did you... You know," I stammered, not liking how accusatory I sounded.
"Did I shoot up when you were gone this morning? No. When I called you, I'd just gotten up. I'm not even really sure where my kit even is," he said.
"That's good," I said, brightly.
"That's one way to put it. I'd never make you watch me doing that. It's sort of rude shooting up with company…unless you offer them some too," he said lightly.
"Are you scared you'll use if you're alone too long?"
"I know that is exactly what will happen," he said.
"I was serious when I said I wanted to help you."
"I know that. I'll keep telling you it's a bad idea until you finally believe me."
"I still want to help you. We can do it together if you'll let me help you," I said.
"Just a head's up, I'm sorry for every horrible thing I'm going to continue to say to you while I'm dope sick."
"Thanks," I said smiling. "I forgive you." We watched the water for a few minutes. There was a turtle shuffling around in the shallows. "I was thinking of something," I said, looking at him.
"Hit me."
"Since you're most likely to use when you're alone, I was thinking we should make sure you don't have too much time on your own."
"When I said you were babysitting me, I had been kidding," he said, smiling at me.
"You don't need a babysitter, just support. Someone to talk you off the ledge when you feel like you might go over."
"You’re right. I'm just giving you a hard time," he said. "You'll probably do a better job of keeping me out of trouble than I will anyway."
Yeah. I would. That was what I wanted to do. Make sure he ke
pt himself out of trouble. I wasn't suggesting we spend more time together because I wanted him to myself. No. That was so unprofessional; he was a guest at the hotel I worked at.
It was my job to make sure his stay was as comfortable as possible. That was what I was doing. If that meant spending extended periods of time together, then that was a sacrifice I was happy and willing to make.
I showed him the ancient petroglyphs, and he took a few pictures before we headed back to the hotel. He really needed to start getting up earlier; it was already evening when we got back. He had walked into the building before me. I was on my way to the changing room when I stopped, realizing he hadn’t gone straight up to his suite. He was at the front desk, talking to Makani and Joseph.
That’s odd, I thought. What were they talking about? I walked over slowly, not wanting them to stop talking.
“Abby is with us every summer. She’s a favorite with the guests. Nothing but good things to say about her,” Joseph was saying. I smirked, enjoying the praise since there was no way he’d openly praise me like that if I was alone.
“I’m another happy customer. She’s been accommodating and helpful since I got here. Her knowledge of the island is impressive, as well. I’d like if she could continue as my personal guide while I’m here on the island,” Nate said.
My eyebrows shot up. Yes. Yes, this was perfect. I continued my quiet approach till Makani noticed me and was the first to say hi.
“Abby, we were just talking about you,” Nate said, smiling, looking over at me.
“Mr. Stone wants you to be his personal guide for the remainder of his time with us,” Joseph said.
“I’m happy to help in whatever way I can, Mr. Stone,” I said. “I’m always available here at the front desk.”
“Wonderful,” Joseph gushed.
I wanted to laugh. Nate could ask Joseph for anything, and he would give it to him. I smiled politely, trying not to give away how excited I was. I didn’t have to spend hours away from Nate wondering whether his craving had overcome him.
What made me even more excited, though, was the fact that I was getting to hang out with him more. Just the two of us.
I knew it was early, but this was so new, and it already felt so deep. I knew what I felt for Nate, beyond wanting to help him. I loved that feeling of raw intimacy and closeness we had shared on the beach. I couldn’t wait to experience that with him again.
Chapter Nineteen
Nate
It was day six. A record. This was the longest number of consecutive days that I had not put any drugs in my body.
According to the sites that Abby had read, I was probably still only just halfway through detox, but I was already feeling a lot better. It probably wasn't even that good if I was comparing it with how normal people felt every day, but I was coming off an addiction. Every minute I wasn't throwing up with a headache was good.
Abby might have had something to do with that; she probably did.
I was getting more clean, fresh air, sleeping full nights, and eating regular meals again, but I didn't hate having her around. She was great. She used a hands-on approach, and it worked. We'd spent every single night together in my suite. I knew where she lived and that it was no problem for her at all to get there every night, but the company was good. Her company specifically was very good. I liked having her around.
Most of the time, she was gone when I'd get up. She woke up so early, all the time. I knew she had to for work, but I didn't get it. I think I’d rather find a different job. That morning, I woke up while she was shuffling around the room getting dressed.
I watched her for a little while. She slept in my t-shirts, and her nipples poked through them because she didn’t wear a bra to sleep. They looked a hell of a lot better on her than they did on me. She was pulling it over her head to put her bra on.
That tight little body was doing great things for my recovery. Back when I was touring with Remus, I had had no problem pulling chicks. Groupies practically begged us to let them give it up.
When I was using hardcore, chasing tail had pretty much gone out the window. Being a junkie was like a full-time job. You couldn’t do anything when you were using because when you weren’t using, you were just thinking about and planning for the next time that you were going to use.
Abby wasn’t like that, though. It wasn’t cheap and anonymous with her. It was fantastic. She was as sexy as she was beautiful, sweet, and caring. Even if I wasn’t trying to distract myself from using, I’d still absolutely go after her.
Her pussy wasn’t like the antidote to my addiction. I was still going a little crazy, and the withdrawal was doing ugly and painful things to my body, but it would probably be a lot worse if she wasn’t supporting me.
I wished there was something I could give her to say thanks. Something told me she wasn’t looking for the shit I’d usually been able to impress girls with in the past. She was so nice, she’d probably decline anything I tried to give her, saying just helping me was enough of a reward.
We needed to keep her somewhere safe under glass because that kind of honest sweetness had to be something that was running out in the world. She was rare. When would I ever meet someone like her again?
I watched her pull a pair of shorts over her ass. She hadn’t put her uniform on. She glanced over at me and jumped a little, realizing I was awake.
“I was trying not to wake you,” she said.
“I thought you hated how late I sleep in,” I said.
“Go back to sleep. I just need to go clock in at work,” she said.
“Are you coming back?” I asked.
“Yes. Wait for me here. I’ll come back,” she said.
“Your boss said I could have you as long as I wanted.”
“This is why I wanted to leave while you were still asleep,” she said walking over to the bed. She kissed me on the forehead and ran her fingers through my hair. “I’ll be right back.” I watched her leave the bedroom and heard her close the door behind her.
Oh, right. She was still working. She still had a job. I was the one on vacation. She wasn’t. That isn’t very fair, I thought. Even if nobody was forcing her to be here with me, she was still working. She just did shit for me all day, what the hell had I done for her?
I wanted to give her something. What did she like? I got out of bed and looked for my phone. I went to the living room, looking for the pamphlets Abby had dropped off what felt like so long ago. There had to be something in there that we hadn’t done together. Not exploring, not a beach or a historical sight, something else.
I wanted to go out with her. A date.
I wanted to spoil her. She didn’t have to worry about picking a place and making sure I liked it. She could let that be my problem for once.
I was just getting off the phone with the restaurant when she came back into the room. I was out on the deck. She came into the bedroom looking for me with a tray in her hands.
“I brought food,” she said sweetly.
“Bring it out here,” I called. She walked over, and I took the tray from her, putting it down on a small table out on the deck. I pulled up two deck chairs for us. It was a really nice day, warm and sunny without a cloud in the sky. I had seen dolphins in the ocean as I had talked on the phone.
She pulled the cloches off the plates. She’d brought eggs, bacon, toast, pastries…a little of everything.
“I thought I’d find you asleep again,” she said, nibbling at a croissant.
“I’m trying something new,” I said. “I’m not really as tired anymore. It’s great.”
“That’s good news.”
“Mm-hmm, now you can get off my back for sleeping so much.”
“That’s only a bad thing when we have somewhere to go,” she laughed.
“Did you have somewhere in mind?”
“Nope,” she said. “I think we’re running out. Did you want to go somewhere specific?”
“Yes. I want to take you out,” I said.<
br />
“Where?”
“Dinner. I made us a reservation.”
“You don’t need to make reservations here; you’re a guest.”
“Not at the resort. It’s a surprise,” I said, smirking.
“That’s my line,” she said, smiling. “I thought I was the tour guide here.”
“You’re off duty today. We can leave around ten.”
“That’s a little late for dinner,” she remarked.
“Not tonight. In a couple hours. I love those shorts on you, but you can’t wear them where we’re going,” I said.
“Where is it? Now you have to tell me. Is it somewhere fancy?” she asked.
I shrugged my shoulders, eating my breakfast. The tables were turned now. She used to drive me crazy not telling me where we were going when she’d take me out. She waited for me to get ready, and I called a car to take us into the city.
This wasn’t LA. We weren’t exactly spoiled for choice when it came to places to shop, but that was sort of a good thing. I didn’t know how Abby would be in a boutique, but just in case she was one of those girls who didn’t know when to stop when you gave her a credit card, it was good there were just a few places we could go.
But really, I owed her so much more than a dress and some fucking shoes. I wouldn’t stop her if she really wanted to cut loose. She deserved it. She had put up with my ass without a single complaint for weeks now. She definitely deserved it.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, when we got to the store.
“The place we’re going tonight has a dress code,” I said, holding the door open for her. “I want you to get something.”
“I can’t afford this place, Nate.”
“It’s on me. Pick whatever you want,” I said. She ran her hand down a dress hanging on a rack to her right, sighing.
“You don’t need to do all this. Taking me out somewhere is already too much,” she said.
“I want to, Abby. Just let me do this for you. I want to.”
She bit her lip, thinking. “Just one. The cheapest they have.”