“Something like twenty questions?”
Not exactly original, but I’ll bite. “What’s your favourite cheesy song?”
He side-eyed me as we edged forward. “What do you class as a cheesy song?”
“Isn’t the meaning universal? Overdramatic and clichéd.”
“If you say so. ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You’ always struck me as a bit cheesy, but it’s such a good song, I couldn’t hold it against Bryan.”
Silence followed as I waited for him to continue. He didn’t. Frowning, I met his amused gaze. “That’s it? Just one song?”
“You said favourite.”
“I know, but who can actually pick just one?”
He smirked. “Your turn.”
“‘Sk8er Boi’ or ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’,” I said in a rush before pausing to consider whether there were more options. Of course there were.
“And you said I have weird tastes.” He shook his head with mock outrage. “Are you done?”
“I said no such thing. And no.” I chuckled as his brows rose. “‘Hey Mickey.’ I used to watch that video with envy.”
“You’re showing your music tastes, and I’m not sure I like what I’m hearing.”
“Hey! This by no means represents my music interests. I used to like this stuff as a kid.”
An attendant opened the gate and the short line moved steadily forward as people climbed into the baskets. My heart raced harder the closer we got.
“Alright, who’s your favourite artist now?”
“Talk about on the spot,” I muttered. Pursing my lips, I considered an answer and nope, couldn’t do it. “I told you I like random tracks from loads of bands. How can you expect me to pick just one?”
“I know you can be decisive when you want to be.”
My eyes narrowed as I studied him. He was interested in me. Surely, he’d make an allowance.
He chuckled. “One.”
“Argh, fine. The Brightside.”
Ryan’s eyes widened and he stared at me, his face painted with shock.
“What?” I laughed, nervously rubbing my face in case I had something on it. The line moved again, and we shuffled down to the gate. We paused, waiting for the attendant to call us forward. Were my palms sweating? Could Ryan tell?
“Lily Tyler’s band?” Ryan asked, his tone wary.
The attendant gestured us forward. The platform bounced as we followed him, and my stomach flipped. The basket swung as we climbed in and my heart beat wildly in my throat. Just tell him you don’t want to get on it.
“Yes. Why?” I asked instead, forcing myself to focus on our conversation, no matter how strange it was.
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Just surprised me.”
By the way his face fell, his muscles relaxed and a blank stare entered his eyes, I could tell he was lying. Why, though? The attendant locked us in before I could figure out how to dig for the truth. I gripped the bar like it would one day save my life.
“Have you seen Lily play?” he asked, failing to mask the slight edge in his voice.
“Yes. Is this some Welsh rivalry thing?” My tone was snappy, but I was being hoisted into the air in a basket of metal, so I’d better get a goddamn pass for it.
“When?” Why was his voice strained? He wasn’t the one rediscovering a fear of bloody heights.
“Why does it matter?”
“I’m just curious.”
“Oh my God. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“You’re not,” he said, his tone short. It was so a problem.
“Liar. That face says it all. Did you have a thing with her or something?” Silence followed. My brain decided now would be the appropriate time to compare myself to Lily freaking Tyler and I ruthlessly shut that shit down. “‘Cause I honestly don’t care. We’re strangers. Who you date doesn’t matter to me.”
I studied him. Did he believe my nonchalance? I didn’t even believe it, so of course he wouldn’t.
“Your knuckles are going white.”
“What?” My brows puckered as my brain ground to a halt, focusing on his words. My eyes fell to the death grip I kept on the small metal bar holding us inside the basket. But rather than see my hands, all I could see was the drop.
While I’d been focused on Ryan’s weird reaction to Lily Tyler, we’d climbed around thirty feet. Our basket sat well clear of the entire lit-up fair. Had my brain not stalled, I’d probably have enjoyed the fair’s pretty white-blue lights competing with the amber setting of the town hall and the museum aglow behind it.
Unfortunately, my brain refused to work, and all I could do was swallow and thank my lucky stars that I hadn’t actually eaten in hours. How long does it take the body to digest food? If I throw up, will it be mostly water and not sweet potato?
“Are you okay, Alys?” Ryan asked, nudging me to draw my attention to him. It didn’t work.
I murmured a noncommittal response and refused to move. My entire body froze, my muscles seized up and I gritted my teeth against my bubbling hysteria.
“Red, talk to me.”
Why had I allowed myself to get on this death trap?
“You’re scaring me,” Ryan whispered. Fingers slid beneath my chin and turned my head in his direction. My eyes started to water from not blinking, and I may have stopped breathing a little while ago.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were afraid of heights?”
Because I didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of him and I might have forgotten until we were already in the queue. The words froze in my throat, and I was glad of it. Who the hell forgets they’re afraid of heights? This girl, apparently.
In one fluid motion, Ryan wrapped his arm around me and I buried my face in his neck.
“Hold onto me and I’ll tell you when it’s over,” he whispered close to my ear. I just about managed a nod.
Gradually, my body relaxed into his side, the warmth of his hold working wonders on my fear-trapped mind.
“Do you like to travel?” Ryan asked, his lips caressing my ear.
Who doesn’t? But when I opened my mouth to tell him that, the basket shifted. Despite pressing my head into Ryan’s chest, the world kept spinning, and I swallowed hard against a sickening sensation threatening to take over my body. I nodded again.
“Me too. Probably a good thing when you’re in a band, right?” His fingers drew circles along my back. The sensation felt faint through my coat, but it relaxed me all the same. It focused my mind on him and not the drop waiting for us.
“I promise that wasn’t the only reason I started a band. I’m secretly an attention whore.” He chuckled, and the act sent a shiver down my spine. “Are you cold?”
I shook my head, grateful for the press of his jacket hiding the red stain blooming across my cheeks. He tightened his hold all the same and began to rub his hand up and down my back.
“That was a lie, by the way.”
“What was?” I asked, frowning into his chest. Words! Excitement coursed through me. I’d never been excited to be able to speak before. What a strange sensation that was.
“I’m not really an attention whore. I do love the music, though.” He grazed my hair with his cheek, his light stubble catching strands and tying us together. “Something about strangers singing my songs back at me is addictive, I guess.”
“It’s recognition that you’re doing the right thing.”
“Yeah, it is. Gives purpose to all the hours, days, months and years I spent obsessing over choosing the right words and chords.”
“You captivated people the other night, so I’d say you chose the right career path.”
He squeezed me. “Thank you,” he whispered, the words hoarse.
Curiosity almost had me raising my head to glimpse his face. Why did he need to thank me for stating a fact? Before I could do it, the bucket rocked and put an end to any desire to see his expression.
The clank of the bar drew my head up in surprise. We were on the ground
. My head whipped around, shock and relief hitting me. Ryan stepped out of the basket and held out his hand to me. On shaky legs, I followed him back to solid ground. We couldn’t have done more than one rotation. He must have got the attendants to stop early.
“Want me to take you home?” Ryan asked, tucking me under his arm again and supporting my escape from the Ferris Wheel. My agreement was weak, but he heard me despite the bustle of the crowd.
Ryan escorted me out of the fenced-off Winter Wonderland and out to the main road. His gaze scanned the gridlocked street, searching for a taxi. We’d be lucky. Drivers tried to avoid this area while the fair was in town. There were too many people and too many cars caught unawares by the blocked-off access to City Hall. It was always chaos.
“C’mon, I’ll get a taxi from the castle.” I turned away from the traffic. Tucking my hands deep into my coat pockets, I led the way down the temporary pedestrian-only street in front of the museum.
For a couple minutes, we walked in silence, and aside from the music and screams pumping from the fair, it was peaceful. The further we got from the Ferris Wheel, the steadier my breathing became.
“So, how long have you been afraid of heights?” Ryan asked, his tone curious. He didn’t look pissed off or embarrassed by it.
“Since I was a kid. I slipped out of one of those rides when I was really small.” I tilted my head to the Ferris Wheel. We could barely see it over the walls surrounding the steps down to the underpass.
“Did you fall?” The curiosity fled, and in its place a very real concern shone.
My breath stuttered for a moment. No one had ever cared what had happened. To be fair, I rarely told the story, but tonight, I’d chosen appearances over safety. It was utterly stupid.
“No. My dad caught me. I guess his fear and the vague memories were enough to stick me with some anxiety over it.”
Silence followed my explanation. We cleared the tunnel, and on the way up the ramp, I turned towards Ryan. His hands sat in his jacket pockets, and he frowned at the ground like it was personally responsible for my fears.
I couldn’t take him blaming himself, so I reached out. His head snapped up as my fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling his hand from his pocket. I threaded our fingers together, trying to wordlessly impart forgiveness without saying he needed it to begin with.
“I got on that ride willingly. You can’t protect me from something if I don’t tell you it’s a problem.” He opened his mouth to argue, but I ploughed on. “I didn’t want you to think less of me.” I smiled, seeing the funny at last. “Silly, I know, considering I’ve spent the better part of the last four days pushing you away, but there it is.”
The relief at telling the truth didn’t lift the feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me I’d been an idiot, but it helped. The smile that replaced Ryan’s frown helped even more.
“Was that you admitting you were wrong to resist me?”
“No, that was me saying that nothing makes sense, but me getting on a death trap wasn’t your fault.”
Ryan smirked. “That’s not what I heard.”
I dropped his hand and powered off towards the waiting taxis. Ryan hadn’t expected me to run off, and he was slow picking up speed.
“You’re delusional,” I shouted over my shoulder, using the distance to hide my own grin. I was enjoying the back and forth far too much.
“Then you’re right there with me.”
I opened the passenger door of the first black cab in the taxi queue but turned back to him. I was laughing at his words and pulling that back was next to impossible.
It was then I noticed he was closer than I expected. A hand landed on my hip while another reached for my jaw. His fingers grazed my skin, and my heart fluttered. Tilting my head back, I met his intense gaze. His eyes dipped to my lips, and my breath caught. What’s one more kiss in the grand scheme of things?
When his head lowered towards mine, I didn’t pull away, couldn’t. My hands fell against his chest, bracing me as I longed for his lips. I held my breath at the first soft brush. Thoughts scattered at the second. Sparks arced at the third, and I was lost.
I could get addicted to his kisses.
That broke the spell.
“Thanks for an interesting night, Ryan,” I whispered, my voice rasping as I pulled away.
Ryan smirked as I slid into the taxi. There was a hopeful light in his eyes. I shut the door before he could try to talk me into staying or taking him with me.
It might very well be delusional to fight my fascination towards him. Despite my misgivings, I was definitely happy he was still in the city, that there was still a chance. But that didn’t mean I had the courage to be anything more than his friend if he let me. Still, I had time to figure it out.
Chapter Seventeen
Starting a new job on a sleepless night was always going to be difficult. But remembering how a factual show runs after spending years working only on dramas and currently plagued by thoughts about a certain rock star? Impossible.
But I didn’t have the luxury of checking out. I needed to get a crew to France within the next two days. Had they said America, I might have quit on the spot. I’m not the sort to quit before trying, but talk about expecting the impossible!
Come lunchtime, I was ready to throw in the towel. I had the travel sorted, and the factory pulled out. Without the factory, we had no story. Without the story, we had to find a replacement, set it up and film it all within a matter of days. I was hoping to leave my desk by 7PM at the latest. I needed the factory back to do that. The office two floors down could probably hear me swearing as I dialled the press contact. They could definitely hear the whoop of my entire floor when I got the access back.
I was coming down from an adrenaline surge and the prospect of going out to get my lunch wasn’t appealing with my ever-expanding to-do list. France was done. Now I needed to get the Italian portion of filming sorted and then a trip to Lapland that was going to be painfully complicated.
I heard the ahs and ohs from the office next door before I saw the delivery man. By the time he stepped into our area with a searching glance, every eye was on him. He carried a huge bouquet of delphiniums.
“Somebody’s getting lucky tonight,” my producer director, Nick, muttered opposite me. I couldn’t see his face from behind my monitor, but I could hear his amusement.
“Alys Morgan?” the flower man shouted across the room.
I swung to face the guy, my mouth open. Every head in the room turned towards me, and for once I was too absorbed in the surprise to feel embarrassed.
“Who’s sending you flowers?” Gemma, my production manager, whispered next to me.
“I don’t know.”
There was only one person who might send me flowers, and if I wasn’t seeing it, I wouldn’t have believed it. Memories from last night flooded me. The feel of his hands on my body, the shock of his lips against mine, the need to get closer.
But getting closer wasn’t the wisest move, even if I could feel myself weakening. Every encounter, he pushed the pin deeper into my denial. If this went on any longer, I’d be incapable of resisting him.
Do you really want to resist him?
Gemma’s eyebrows rose. “From the blush on your cheeks, I’m going to call that a lie.”
A small white envelope stuck out amongst the purple blooms. I snatched the card before one of my new colleagues could. Nick had zeroed-in on it immediately. We’d been newbies in this industry together once upon a time. His presence had comforted me this morning, stepping into a huge unknown. Now, the familiarity had me guarding notes. Oh, how things changed.
“Care to share with the class?” He stood peering over our monitors, grinning down at me.
I held the card to my chest. “I think we’ve outgrown that kind of sharing, don’t you?”
“Ouch, Morgan. I said I was sorry. I promise I meant to keep in touch.” He sat back down, chuckling to himself.
I ignored him in
favour of opening the card.
Here’s a little courage for my favourite friend. Love Ryan x
I snorted at the way he’d underlined friend. Subtle it was not. Although I had definitely been in need of the courage this morning. I didn’t get misty-eyed staring at my flowers. There was just something stuck in my eye.
What was the use in lying anymore? I’d been more than wooed. The question was what did I want to do about it?
I could just text him. I wasn’t committing to anything but talking to him if I sent a message. If I changed my mind, I could ignore him, turn the phone off – hell, block him. It didn’t have to be permanent, and it would be rude not to thank him for the flowers.
Only he might take it a different way.
And so what if he did? I’d had no qualms putting a pin in his plans up to now. There was no reason that had to change.
Alys: Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.
His reply came within seconds and I snorted, drawing the attention of the office again.
Ryan: Glad you like them. Thought you might need a reason to smile today. Can’t believe you messaged me.
Alys: Were you waiting by the phone?
Ryan: Course not. I’m a rock star. We don’t wait…
I was shaking my head when the next text pinged my phone.
Ryan: Maybe a little.
Alys: I appreciate the thought. The flowers are beautiful & will def help me get through rest of day.
Ryan: Hard day?
Alys: Yes. Lots to get done in v little time.
Ryan: Want to talk about it, Red?
Alys: Red?
Ryan: Yeah, it’s my new favourite colour. I love your hair.
Ryan: You don’t like it?
Ryan: I need to call you something?
Alys: How about Alys?
Ryan: Nah. I like Red. I’m sticking with it.
A nickname. Not even Emily had given me a nickname. My heart swelled and my eyes inexplicably began to burn.
Ryan: But seriously, here to talk if you need.
Alys: Love to but no time.
Ryan: K I’ll let you get back.
Smiling, I placed the phone on my desk face first. If I could see the screen flashing with notifications, I’d be checking it every five seconds. I’d meant it when I said I had a lot to do.
Chasing Alys Page 12