I never went back after that. I never wanted to see the pity on his mother’s face again. Instead, the girls and I met anywhere but our houses. We continued that tradition to this day.
Turning around in this grocery queue might be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Forget fighting fourteen-year-olds for front-row shots. Gathering the courage to face James Tyler now was worse.
Studying his newly filled-out, muscular frame as he walked towards me, those resentments reared their head and put a bitter tang in my mouth. So maybe I’d lied to Tommy; I wasn’t over it. And I definitely was not ready to deal with him and that soft appraising gleam in his gaze.
My eyes lingered for far too long, memorising the new shape of the only man who had ever had a grip on my heart.
“It is you! I was hoping I’d run into you.” James stopped in the queue next to me. He set three large packs of crisps on top of a case of beers, a balancing act he hadn’t perfected. The bags started sliding, and I couldn’t help myself. I caught them.
“Thanks.” He grinned and my heart started pounding for an entirely different reason.
The full force of his mischievous eyes bearing down on me, I was almost transported back to easier times. Before The Brightside had taken off and taken his cousin with them, leaving him behind, before he’d followed Dan to Glasgow because why not, before he’d crushed me with his silence.
Even after all these years, he still had a devastating effect on my body. There was a light in his brown eyes that scared me. Okay, scared wasn’t the right word—more like unnerved. He was looking at me the way he used to look at his guitar, with endless hope.
“It was bound to happen sometime, right?” I forced my tense face into a smile, or as close to one as I could get when all I could do was stare at him. I placed the packets back on top of the case and stepped back.
“You knew I was back, and you didn’t call? I’m hurt, Shutterbug.”
That one word struck a match inside me. My body went up in flames, and not the good kind. Why did he have to use it after all this time? Memories rattled at their chains, and I tensed. They all needed to stay locked in their box, buried deep where no one could find them.
I hadn’t heard that nickname since he’d cut me out of his life. My dad had hated it. It still sent a thrill through me, even if it was accompanied by choking dread now. The last time he’d said it, he’d vanished the next day.
Instead of tearing his head off for unearthing emotions I’d rather erase, I bit my tongue and tried for congenial. “I only found out half an hour ago. You didn’t exactly put out a press release.” Okay, so I sucked at playing nice.
James chuckled, seemingly oblivious to my gritted teeth. “Damn. Ryan’s normally on top of those things.”
“Gave up your social media mantle, did you?” There. That was better.
“Definitely not! They’ll need to pry the passwords from me on my deathbed.” Mock outrage lightened his voice, and I itched to wipe the sly smile from his face.
I turned toward the till and edged forward in the line, watching the person in front of me fumble through an order at a snail’s pace.
“How’s your family? All finance robots like your dad wanted?”
“They’re fine.” I glanced back at him, my eyebrows raised as I tried to read his intentions. “Rebecca’s a teacher now.”
“Quite a rebel, but good for her! It was her choice, right?”
I nodded. “Dad was fine with it.”
James winced, and I turned back to the line. “Oh, yeah! Because teaching’s up there on a par with accounting.” Sarcasm dripped from his tone. “He’s riding her to get a headship, right?” His tone was dry, bitter almost. Mine would be the same. My father was not a nice man.
“What else would he do with his time if not harass his children?” I shrugged. He knew it was my normal. I’d escaped it without his help. “Didn’t you hear? Rebecca’s going to be the youngest headteacher in a generation.”
My sister had no interest in the politics that kind of job would involve, yet my dad still droned on and on. I rolled my eyes hard every single time he brought it up. Only seeing him a handful of times in the last six months had saved me from eye strain.
“So what are you doing in this part of town?” I glanced over my shoulder at him.
What I really wanted to know was whether I needed to quit my jobs at Axel’s and Jackson’s. Not really a doable task, but I might take it under advisement if he was living here. Maybe I could move to Bristol. That would make my decision on The Salamander job easier. Plus, there were loads of music venues there. Surely, I could land at least one.
“I was at Axel’s for their fortnightly show,” he said, smirking like he had a secret. “They’ve pulled in some class talent, haven’t they?”
I agreed, my voice weak. He was playing me. I wasn’t inconspicuous at those shows. I spent half of it crawling around the stage and the other half balancing on chairs, trying to get the best crowd shots.
The cashier called me forward, and I turned back around. My shoulders nearly sagged. Almost there.
“Can you believe it’s been ten years since I played on that stage? Remember the last time?” If he meant the question to be disarming, he should have picked a different one.
I gritted my teeth and focused on the cashier. With just two items, it was seconds before I was stuffing my treasures into my handbag and tapping my card. Freedom was in sight.
I’d lost my virginity that night. I was sixteen and my parents were away at some conference. James was riding a high, convinced that this band was going to be it. As first times went, I’d got lucky with him. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be thinking about what had been an emotional moment, in the checkout line of all places. Or the fact that he’d left me two months later.
I muttered a noncommittal response as I stepped away from the checkout. “Well, I’ll catch you another time.” I didn’t see his expression, my focus zeroed-in on the exit.
“Wait! Give me a second to pay for these and we can catch up.”
Despite myself, I turned back to him. I didn’t know what his wide smile and eager eyes meant; I didn’t want to know. Why could I never resist this man? He’d proven that he was nothing but a wrecking ball for my heart. I needed to get a clue.
I backed away, shaking my head. “Sorry. I’ve got to get home. Early morning plans.”
The light of memory lit his eyes. I braced myself for his next curveball. “Saturdays on the beach with a camera still a thing?” At my nod, he smiled. “Some things never change,” he whispered, his expression soft, wistful.
When the shop door shut behind me, I was shaking. I’d run an emotional relay in under ten minutes. He’d dragged too many memories to the surface, too many contradictory feelings. Some were beautiful and I would always cherish them, but I had to be in the right frame of mind to look at them. Exhausted and sweaty from a long night at Axel’s was not it. My defences were low enough without time to accept that I could turn a corner and walk into him. Throwing sweet and painful moments from our past into the mix was just playing dirty.
And the timing! What were the chances he’d sought me out?
“Unlikely,” I muttered, startling a woman walking past. I stomped to my car, stopping short of running outright.
It had been nine years. No way did I hold a feature spot in James Tyler’s mind. He was a rock star now. He must have women throwing themselves at him. Seeing him here was just a coincidence, a weird fluke. And after today, I’d get over the shock and lock down the memories.
Anyway, I might never see him again. One can hope.
And then another thought occurred to me.
How many musicians actually attend gigs full of unknown bands once they made it? Not many, I’m sure.
If you’d like to know what happens next, Winning Nia will be available on all platforms and can be requested by most bookstores. Check it out here: Books2Read.com/WinningNia
Or request it from y
our local library.
Also By Morgana Bevan
True Platinum Series
Chasing Alys - Ryan
Winning Nia - James (February 2022)
Enticing Mel - Dan (June 2022)
Defying Ella - Jared (September 2022)
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Kings of Screen Series
Between Takes
Acknowledgments
With thanks to my best friends for putting up with my constant chatter about indie publishing and various marketing techniques. I’ll talk about something else one day.
Big thanks to Meaghan and Janey for their endless support: keeping me sane and accepting all my requests for last-minute help. Chasing Alys wouldn’t be where it is without you both.
Also thanks to Alex for answering all of my medical questions and solving problems I didn’t know how to fix.
To my amazing editor, Kristen, a massive thank you for supporting me through the start of my author career. Your encouragement has been invaluable and essential for boosting my confidence. Bet you didn’t see this one coming when I was your intern?
Also thank you to my brilliant cover designer, Kirsty, and your incredible ability to create the perfect cover with very little direction from me. You nailed it in one try!
Moreover, I must say a huge thank you to my incredible PA, Tracey Leck. I’m not sure I’d have gotten to release day with my sanity intact without your support.
To the readers, thank you for reading this book and taking a chance on me as a new author.
About Morgana Bevan
Morgana Bevan is a sucker for a rock star romance, particularly if it involves a soul-destroying breakup or strangers waking up in Vegas. She’s a contemporary romance author based in Wales. When Morgana’s not writing steamy rock star and movie star romances, she’s working in TV production in the UK.
She enjoys travelling, attending gigs, and trying out the extreme activities she forces on her characters (see Instagram for evidence!).
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Find Morgana online at morganabevan.com.
Chasing Alys Page 31