by Maia Dylan
Chapter Four
Hayden took a deep steadying breath as he stepped passed Bella with the intention of calming his nerves. He was not a man who frightened easily, but not knowing if Bella was the forgiving type scared the shit out of him. He stepped into the living room of the apartment, and he inhaled again. Not to ease his nerves this time, but to simply take in the orange blossom scent that was as alluring to him as the woman herself.
The apartment was small but tidy. Everything in it had been chosen with care, and although the furniture in the house was neither expensive nor matching, he could tell they'd been selected for a reason. The place was warm and inviting, and Hayden could see that it was a home, not just a place to live. A quick look around at the walls, and he could see that Bella was an avid reader, and extremely close to an older woman that looked so much like her, it was not too much of a stretch to guess that it was her mother.
He turned when he got to the middle of the room, Zac just behind him. Bella was locking the door to the hall again, and Hayden had to fight the urge to insist she leave this place. If it was so unsafe that she felt it necessary to have three separate locks on her front door, then he did not want her living here. But he didn’t have that right. Not yet.
“You have a great place, Ms. Strand,” Zac said, as she stepped into the room. They had lost the right to call her anything else. “It feels like a real home, especially with all the photos of your mom?” The question was clear in Zac’s tone.
Bella smiled as she looked around the room. “Yeah, that is my mom. It was only ever the two of us, but I lost her three years ago to cancer.”
“Oh, God, I am so sorry, if—“
Bella shook her head, and held up her hand. “No, it’s okay, Zac. You didn’t know. She was my world for a long time, and everything I have has a memory of her attached to it. I know the apartment is small, and there is not much to it, but everything in here was chosen by me and mom. The furniture may not be much to look at, but it is super comfortable. Have a seat. Can I get you a drink?” Bella shrugged, her expression turning slightly sheepish. “Well, I can offer you water or tea. I don’t really have anything else.”
“No, it’s fine,” Hayden was quick to say. “I would normally have loved a tea, but I'm too anxious to say what I need to say to you.” He shot a glance at his brother. “Zac and I want to talk with you more afterwards, but what I have to say needs to come first.”
Bella looked at him for a long moment, then nodded slowly. “Then let’s at least get comfortable.”
She indicated for them both to take a seat on the couch behind them, and then sat on the armchair that was adjacent to the couch. Hayden could tell by the way she sat completely still in the chair, her back straight, her eyes never quite meeting his, that she was nervous and perhaps waiting for some type of verbal slap to come.
He wanted to rip his heart from his chest and lay it at her feet for making her feel that bad. From the disgruntled sound Zac made as he sat beside him, Hayden knew he wasn’t pleased either. After they had chased after her that afternoon and discovered she had gone, Zac had turned and punched him in the stomach. Hard. Hayden had understood and accepted Zac’s anger and hadn’t struck back. His twin brother had always had a mean right hand.
“I had this whole speech planned,” Hayden admitted softly, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees, his eyes on Bella. “But now that I'm here, and you're sitting in front of me, the only thing I can think to say is I am so very sorry, Ms. Strand. My behavior this morning, and the way I spoke to you, was completely out of line. If my mother knew I had dared to speak to anyone like that, but especially you, then she would have had my fathers beat the living shit out of me.”
Bella looked up at him then, her expression wary. “Why especially me? If you called any woman a p-prostitute without proof or provocation, then surely your mother would have been unhappy.”
Hayden’s heart clenched at her slight stutter. “I’ll explain why especially you later, I promise, but for now I need to work on asking for your forgiveness for this morning. I never meant to imply that you were a prostitute. I—“
“Yes, Hayden,” Bella interrupted quietly, her blue eyes shimmering with accusation. “You most certainly did.”
Hayden shifted forward slightly, wanting to get as close to her as possible. “Hell, Bella, maybe I did, but I was so damn angry at you, and frustrated that we hadn’t been able to get to you that night. Yeah, I was jealous as hell that other men got to see you and be with you. And rather than handling it like a man, and talking about it reasonably with you, I acted like a dick and simply lashed out. I found out that I'm a possessive, jealous idiot, and too quick to jump to conclusions, and the fact that I passed judgment on you makes me feel ill. I am a Judgey McJudgerton, and, Ms. Strand, I am so, so sorry.”
“You had no right to be angry at me,” Bella correctly pointed out. “Hell, we had only just met. I make enough money to pay my bills, and live my life. There is no shame in that, but today you made me feel dirty, and beneath you, and I am not sure why. I am nothing to you. Just a disgruntled tenant who came to you with a concern.”
Hayden watched in horror as her eyes filled with tears. He stood up from the couch, and went to her, clasping her left hand in both of his, kneeling down in front of her. “Please, Bella, please, don’t cry. God, baby, you’re killing me. And knowing that it was my stupidity and dumb-ass jealousy that caused it makes it so much worse. You have no reason to be ashamed. You were fucking amazing on that stage the other night. The way you moved, the skill and strength you showed in the routine was fucking phenomenal. You did nothing to be ashamed of.”
Bella frowned, tilting her head in confusion in the most adorable way. “Then why the accusation that I was a whore? What made you so angry?”
Hayden sighed. “It was that damn bouncer by the stage door. We asked if we could come through to talk to you, but he told us that you were going to be busy for the rest of the night, and that we didn’t—” Hayden hesitated, not wanting to finish.
“You didn’t what?”
Zac stood up and moved to crouch by the side of her chair. “That we didn’t have enough money to warrant having you join our table.”
“That was Jerome, and he was correct,” Bella said slowly. “If you want the dancers to sit with you following their set, then you have to pay for the right. That night, Denny had some high rollers in the club, and he had them pay big to have me and a few other girls join them after we’d finished.” She made a small sound of distress, and her eyes widened. “Oh, my God! You weren’t just being a dick with the whore reference, were you? You actually thought that paying for one of us to join them at their table meant that we would then sleep with them. That’s why you made that reference today. You actually do think I’m a whore!”
Bella pushed his hand away and moved to stand up, but with him right in front of her, and Zac at her side, she had nowhere to go. “Jeez Louise, what did you think I was going to do that night? There were four men at that table. Did you think we were all going to get crazy with each other at the fucking table?”
Hayden winced. “Well, when you say it like that, maybe not.”
“Essentials is not a goddamned brothel, you sanctimonious asshole,” Bella growled as she shoved him. “It is an exotic dance club where we don’t even take our clothes completely off. Yeah, sure, Denny has clients who request a more intimate service, and I can’t speak for all the girls there, but I have never agreed to it, because I chose not to.”
“I’m sorry,” Hayden rushed to apologize again. “I’ll say it again, I was a jealous asshole who jumped to conclusions, and you suffered for that. But can I ask you to look at it from our perspective, just for one minute?”
Bella crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at them. “Well, let me think. If I had just met my landlords, and they were two hot looking men with hunky as hell bodies, and I saw them dancing erotically on stage, how would I react? I would probably reach f
or my wallet and get some dollar bills ready to tuck into your thong. What I wouldn’t do is jump to the conclusion that you were both prostituting yourselves.”
Hayden grimaced. “Well, that just goes to illustrate what I have always known. Women are far smarter than men.”
His whole world lit up when Bella grinned. “Wow, and you are only just learning that now?”
“He always has been a slow ass learner,” Zac added as he leaned in to rest his arms on the left side of the chair. “What Hayden said this morning was wrong. It was hurtful and disrespectful, but it was also so unlike him, it’s ridiculous. He’s a good man, Bella, one that I know is truly remorseful for his actions. As for me? I apologize for not punching him in the mouth when he started putting his foot so far down his throat he could kick his own ass. But, we have to ask, do you think you can forgive us both for being sanctimonious assholes?”
Hayden unintentionally held his breath. He desperately wanted her answer to be yes, but for the first time in his life, he was unsure of what the answer would be. And it sucked.
****
Bella sat back for a moment. She was more than tempted to say yes, because, well, they were hot, and she had felt a flash of awareness with both of them when they first met. Sure, they had both jumped to some pretty wild conclusions, but could she really blame them for the direction they took?
She had never been one to pass judgment on others, and although there was more to the story she was unable to share it. She hated that they'd made that leap without proof. But she had to admit that with what Jerome said, it would be easy to make that assumption. Hayden had admitted that he reacted out of emotion, and she could also accept that emotions can color those reactions.
Could she forgive them and move on? Yeah, she could. Her mom had always taught her that it took more courage and strength to forgive than it did to hold a grudge.
“Before I answer that, can I ask you both a couple of questions?”
Zac flicked his brother a quick look, and they both nodded. She liked that the two of them were always looking to each other to make decisions. It told her that they were close.
Bella took a deep breath. “Well, I really only have two questions. Maybe three, but then it would only be because of your answer to the second question. The answer to the first question might actually lead to a heightened sense of anticipation for the answer to the second, but it is not necessarily a game changer, just a matter of mere curiosity. I think I know what the answer to the second question is because, well, the two of you have been pretty open and honest in some respects. Of course, the answer I am anticipating could well be wishful thinking on my part. But if you—”
“Ms. Strand?” Hayden said dryly, and Bella could hear the amusement in his tone. “Perhaps it might be easier if you just ask us the questions.”
Bella grinned. “Yeah, possibly. The first question is what I asked earlier. When it comes to insulting a woman, why would it be especially bad for your mom that it was me? And the second question is more an observation, but one that most definitely has a question mark at the end of it. Before, when you were talking about your mom being upset with you, you said she would make your fathers beat the shit of you.”
The plural had not gone unnoticed, and the questions about it would plague Bella for the rest of the day.
Hayden smiled gently up at her. “You are an observant little thing, babe, that’s for sure. Zac and I are twins. They run in my dads’ family. As do unconventional marriages and commitments. Our dads are brothers as well, and they are both committed to our mom. Although only one of them is married to her in the eyes of the law, they are both her husbands. Just for the record, we have three other siblings, two brothers and a sister, but we are the only twins and the only ones who are looking for a relationship like our parents’.”
“So is it only the twins that share a woman?” Bella asked.
Zac shook his head. “No, not at all. Our uncles Isaac and Roy are married to our Aunt Claire, but they aren't twins. It’s just a lifestyle that they chose to live, and it's probably more common than you know.”
That made sense to her. Just because she hadn’t heard of it before didn’t mean it wasn’t true. “What is it about sharing a woman that appeals to you?” Bella had to ask. “I mean, I can see the appeal for the female because, well, yeah, the mere thought of having both of you is pretty intoxicating, but what is the appeal for you?”
Hayden frowned at her, and Bella wondered if she’d made a mistake in asking. “It isn't a ménage relationship itself that's appealing. Zac and I have always known we'd end up loving the same woman. You are the appeal as far as Zac and I are concerned. We have always known that we would more than likely end up loving the same woman. We're as close as brothers can be, and it absolutely makes sense that we would find and love one woman forever. It's simply what happens in our family sometimes. When our dads met our mom, they knew from the first moment they laid eyes on each other that they were all meant for each other. And I know that sounds corny as hell, and I have given my dads shit about it for years, and I will have to eat a huge serving of humble pie in front of them to make up for it, I have no doubt.”
Zac grinned. “Yes, you did, and yes, you will. As I am the smart one, I refrained from the shit giving and will sit back and watch you dine on it, bro.” Bella giggled at the two of them, getting a good idea of what they had been like as kids. Zac turned to look at her, his expression warm but serious. “Bella, our mom has always told us that we would recognize the woman we were meant to love for the rest of our lives with a single touch. When we shook hands that day in our office, I felt a jolt of something pretty powerful rock through me. It felt like someone had reached in and grabbed my heart in their hand, and normally that would be scary as hell, except it wasn’t, because that person was you.”
Bella stared at him and remembered that exact moment. She had felt something very similar herself, with both the brothers. But to be a part of a relationship, one where both men were talking about forever, was a little scary.
“I can see your hesitation, baby,” Hayden said as he reached over to gently take her hand in his. Bella felt a zing of awareness along her skin, and her heart began to beat a little faster at his touch. “And furthermore, we can understand it. We are talking some pretty heavy stuff right now with the love, and the forever, and the rest of our lives. But know that we are not asking you to commit to forever at this very moment.”
“Although, if you felt inclined to do so, we would respect that, too,” Zac said with a wink. He might have been teasing, but Bella got the sense that there was a hopeful note to his tone.
“True,” Hayden said with a grin, “but we are not pushing you for that. All we want is for a chance to get to know you a little more, and for you to get to know us.”
Bella offered them a small smile. “That I can do.”
The way the two of them smiled up at her, like she’d announced they’d won the lottery or something, had those pesky butterflies fluttering around in her tummy again. It was obvious to her that the three of them were more than just a little attracted to each other. Now, it was simply a matter of exploring whether there was more to it than that. And there was nothing wrong with taking their time and going slow.
Chapter Five
“Going slow sucks,” Bella mumbled to herself as she unlocked the door to her apartment and stumbled inside. Not only was it sexually frustrating, it was messing with her vow to her mom. After taking the time to lock the door, she walked gingerly over to the couch and collapsed into it with a moan. She contemplated lifting her legs up so that she could lie flat, but decided it wasn’t worth it and just slumped sideways.
It had been a week since she, Zac, and Hayden had decided to get to know each other a little more, and they had been spending as much time together as possible. Bella had been amazed at how the two of them had made her feel comfortable with them both from the first moment. There was never any pressure on her at all, but ther
e were constant touches that were driving her crazy. They held her hand whenever they could, pressed a palm to the small of her back when guiding her into rooms, always reached out to stroke her hand, or place their hand on her knee. Then, there were the kisses. Sweet, hot, lingering kisses that had her panties wet and her body hot, and always left her wanting more.
She knew that Zac and Hayden were just as affected, but both of them handled the frustration a lot better than she did. When she got frustrated, she apparently turned into a potty mouth. Her mom hated cursing, and the first time she had used a curse word in front of her mother she had been punished. Fortunately not by the use of Ivory soap to wash her mouth out like her friend Amy had been subjected to. No, her mom was more the corporal punishment kind of parent, and Bella had run more miles than she cared to remember as a result. She learned pretty quickly that it just wasn’t worth upsetting her mom.
When her mom became ill, Bella had cursed at one of the doctors who'd made a mistake with her care, and to make up for it, she had promised her mom that she would curb her cursing, but if she ever slipped, she would punish herself with miles. When her mom got too sick to leave the hospice, it had been one of the rare moments where they had managed to share a laugh over it. She had promised her mom that she would run a mile for every curse word she uttered.
So with the combination of that promise and a sexual frustration-inspired potty mouth, she was up to seven miles a day. On top of her dancing and the training for her day job, it was taking a toll on her physically. The thought of her day job had a wave of uneasiness sweep through her. She had yet to confess her true occupation to Zac and Hayden, and although it was standard operating procedure for her department in cases like this, it did not make it any easier. It was rapidly approaching its conclusion, and as soon as she could, she vowed to tell them everything.